What's worst then leaving a public toilet when you just took a shit and the toilet is now clogged Realising that the maid was waiting for you to get out to clean the toilet...

What do you call a chicken with no head? A chicken with no head.

what is my catphrase nothing I am too good to have one

God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

How do you make a fat man cry? You call him fat.

sadf

Q: what happens when Justin Bieber walks into bar? A: three things, blood on the bar floor, another vister at the celebrity hospital, and Justin Bieber with knifes and darts stuck in his chest!

A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

How many black men can you fit into a mini? Five One in the drivers seat. One in the passenger seat. And three in the back seats. Anymore would be both dangerous and impractical due to the small interior volume of the car, and it would also put a significant strain on the cars limited engine power. Especially when tackling a steep incline.

What's worse than finding your whole family dead? Nothing. Finding your family dead is terrible.

Why does the girl get humped by a pig? Because she has sexual needs and no other more attractive animal, including an human wants to hump her.

what do you call a fish with no gills? Dead

A: knock knock A: knock knock knock... A: door bell

Why did Bob drop his ice cream? Because he got hit with a super models TIttys

a man walks into a bar.... his? drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

A seal walks into a club. And proceeds to die. Why? The seal isn't able to walk so it was crawling and a man was swinging a club to it's head, so it perished and he could feed his family. The Statement was censored by the FCC

guess what what ...

What happened when the football player couldn't get his Coke from the vending machine? He got angry.

A successful, articulate, charming, well mannered, rich, young man walks into a bar.... Every night

What do you do when you see a half-dead black man on the floor? Call an ambulance before he bleeds out causing sepsis.

what do you call lots of jews on a train? Call them what you want they aren't coming back!

Guy 1: So how did you get into hospital Guy 2: I was drinking near my computer Guy 1: So why did it explode? Guy 2: (Doesn't reply)

Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

Why did the chicken cross the road? AIDs.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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