What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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What did John say to Paul before they entered the car? "Paul, get in the car."

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Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

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whats yellow and very big? I dont know. no one will tell me

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Q: What do you get when you cross Rebecca Black and a day of the week. A: a stupid song called FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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But that just reinforces the negative stereotype that women don't have penises.

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Call of Duty Infinite Warfare

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Where is boots, Dora asks Why the hell are you asking me when your the one who is with him.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing hide and seek with Dennis Ferguson

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knock knock Dave's not here.

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If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

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What is black white and red all over? A zebra which a lion did not finish eating.

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Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

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What's worse than an earthquake? Two earthquakes. What's worse than two earthquakes? Three earthquakes. What's worse than three earthquakes? The world exploding.

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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What's blue and can't read? The Pacific Ocean

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Knock Knock Who's there Kevin Kevin who Kevin your friend dumbass

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ms caissie is secretly laughing at these...

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I am green. You are blue. Jokes are infinite. This is too.

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what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

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What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

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Are you kidding? If you can slow down time when stressed, then that means that your perception of time is, well... Oh relative, but still wow! What about now though? Can you do it? And for curiosity`s sake, what if you jumped off a roof? Would the stress make it all really slow?

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Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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