Me:Oh wait, I got a joke! Friends:Oh boy, what is it? Tell us! Me:..my grandma died.. *Everyones silent* Some random guy:Oh haha, I get it! Me:Shut up, you have no friends. Some random guy: Oh........

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Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

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Have you seen Hellen Keller's children? No. They look just like her.

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Why did the sloth cross the road To fuck your gay cousin

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Q. What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? A. An ambulance due to the fact that he has a rather serious head wound.

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why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

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How do you kill a black man wearing a bullet proof turbin? Shoot him anywere other then his turbin.

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile Get in the batmobile

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I actually take my shoes off when I jump on the trampoline.

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How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

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What's the best way to get high without doing drugs? Jump.

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Girl Scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

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why did the clown go to the graveyard? because he was dead

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Why did the Chicken become a medium? To talk to the other side.

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What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

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So a man walks into a bar, right?

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Have you seen stevie wonders new piano? No Well it's really nice

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I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops