A women left the kitchen.

What's better than finding a $5.00 bill on the floor? Finding the person who actually owns it.

Question to make it sound like a racist joke? Politically correct answer that should not offend anyone.

A black man walks into a store. As he leaves, the detector goes off. It turns out the sales clerk had forgotten to take out one of the tags on his purchase. The sales clerk promptly took it off, and the man left to enjoy the rest of his day.

What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 had paranoia.

How do you know when a Captcha defect causes you to post the same anti-joke three times? Canteloupe.

roses are red violets are blue i smell meth abkfjbekfhbkfsdshjfbkhb

What happened when the blackman saw the white man. they both said hello

What is about the size of a sausage, flesh-colored and looks like a penis, if you illuminate it with a flashlight on monday nights? - a penis.

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

Why did the chicken walk across the road? Because chickens cannot fly

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

Whats the difference between a house and a mouse If you think about it , quite a lot really

Three blind mice go into a pub, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.

Fred and DooDah go to their favorite lake to fish. After getting out on the water, DooDah hooks a huge fish, which pulls him overboard, and he drowns. Fred is brokenhearted and goes to tell DooDah's wife the news. She opens the door and hears Fred sing: "Guess who drowned in the lake today? DooDah! DooDah!"

Factors that can increase your risk of prostate cancer include: Older age Being black Family history of prostate cancer Obesity My friend's grandfather is black and obese, his 70th birthday is tomorrow and his dad died of prostate cancer

A black guy and a white guy both interview for a job. The black guy gets the job because he is college educated and highly qualified.

What's the difference between Colonel Sanders and a barrel of olives? Colonel Sanders isn't in a barrel.

A man walks into a bar, and then a second man walks into a bar. The third man ducked.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was a recovering alcoholic who recently relapsed and drove his car through his garage. He took his anger out on his wife and kids. His wife kicked him out and filed for divorce. Conveniently, the liquor store is across the street.

Q. Why did the blonde die drinking milk? A. she was shot in the head by a 22.

Why did the chicken cross the road To walk back

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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