What is pink and smells like tuna? Salmon

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A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

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Why is the deer afraid of the hunter? Because he doesn't want to get shot.

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why did the black guy fall off a cliff? because he was a zombie

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Man: Hey girl for a minute there I thought I had died and gone to heaven, but now I realize that I am very much alive, and that heaven has been brought to me. Girl: No actually you were right the first time we are both dead right now.

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In space, no one can hear you scream. Which means Xenomorphs are deaf.

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock eater,

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven killed off his entire family.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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If god himself had a religion he would be a self centered bastard.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side Why did the duck cross the road? I don't know. I only know why the chicken crossed the road.

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was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

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Please save our environment :) Dont use electricity. Use gas! Like Hitler.

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What's green and has wheels? grass... i lied about the wheels

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You know who can't stand to put up with my shit? Polio victims.

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How do you starve a black man? You slowly emasculate him over 400 years through a system designed solely for the benefit of whites, and subsequently he is malnourished.

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What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? You can't Jelly your dick into your girlfriend's ass.

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Mike: Hey Dave knock knock Dave: Come in!

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What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

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Q:What did the boy do when his girlfriend cheated on him? A:He broke up with her because cheating is wrong and he deserves better.

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Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

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Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not to a blind guy.

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Why was the man worried? because he had a shotgun up his ass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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