Why was the giant centipede full? Because it just ate half a dozen purebred golden retriever puppies by hiding all day in the poopy newspapers and emerging at night to eat the defenseless baby dogs in their sleep. BUM BUM BUM KSSSH!

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy wuzzy lost all his hair. Turns out he had brain cancer and died at age 30.

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Asian son: "I'm using a calculator for my math" Asian mother: "Why not you calculatnow!"

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why didnt the guy go to work one morning he died in a car accident

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is the glass of milk half empty or half full it is scientifically proven that these are the same thing. Choosing one over the other is like saying that 1/2 does not equal 1-1/2. A normal person would just see this as an ordinary glass of milk.

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Why could the grandma chew? She couldn't she had no teeth

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Knock knock Who's there It's a policeman informing you that your parents have been killed in a car crash. Your Dad, who has been struggling with substance abuse and depression, found out his wife had been cheating on him, and in a drunken rage, wrapped the car around a tree.

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Why wasn't Will invited to the party? Will has been dead for 3 years.

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If the blue dog falls out of sample object, how many bananas does my mom eat? No, because markers can't talk

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A guy reads the bible Another guy shouts "spoiler alert, the main character dies"

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Banana. Banana who? The Holocaust.

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Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

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So you're flying around in your bathtub, how pancakes to shingle a doghouse? Airhockey, because pizza bagels can't cry.

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what's black and white and red all over? nothing... it's red

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Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One says "Holy cow it's hot in here!" The other one says "Wow, I'm a muffin and I can TALK!"

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A:Who am i "RRRRRR' B:A pirate A:No im fetty wap

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Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

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What do you call a one legged , one eyed, canadian fisherman called Samuel Browning? Mr Browning unless you are on friendly terms then Sam is fine.

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What do you call a woman between two houses? Her name.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I have a dead body, What do I do.

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What happens when you shoot someone? They die.

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The only time when white and black are together When I've just taken a shit! ?ttis

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whats worse than not being able to hear? not being able to breath fvd n avt were here

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How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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