time to spruce up!

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Why are gay guys so good at being gay? The black guys told them too.

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Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

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Roses are dead Violets are dead I'm a terrible gardener.

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Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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what is the difference between a puppy and a baby... ...they are different animals

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knock knock who's there? A worm, your dead in a coffin.

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the teacher enters the room she sits in her chair and yells, "i am your substitute teacher. get out your books and write me a story."

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What would make African women very happy? food and healthcare for their kids, and a proper education.

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Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I dont have a Ferrari!!

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Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was on a diet

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What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

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Q: Who was the most famous French skeleton? A: Napoleon bone-apart.

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what did the paraplegic get for his birthday? a bike...

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What do you call a white basketball player? A very athletic hardworking dedicated human being.

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How does Helen Keller play the piano? With one hand.. She needs the other hand to sing.

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Two Mexicans are at the border and want to cross it. How do they cross it? Illegally

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what did the penguin say to the other penguin after they rolled down a hill, and fell into a pile of leaves then proceeded to go swimming, play basketball, go swimming again and then play ping pong and pool? nothing. penguins cant talk

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

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Why Tom is Gay ? Because brocoly didnt eat a mashroom .

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A man goes to the doctor's office. The doctor says, "I have some bad news, and some worse news. The bad news is you have alzheimer's. The worse news is you have cancer." The man breaks down in tears, realizing that his life as he knew it is over, and recognizing the horrible burden he is about to become on his family, both financially and emotionally.

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Knock Knock Hold on Im pooping.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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