What is red and fluffy?... Your teddy bear covered in blood...

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Brother : you see this hand Sister : yes Brother : if you dont leave ill slap you with it Sister : no you wont !SLAP!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A mermaid found a magic lamp at the bottom of the ocean. She rubbed it and a cat with 9 lives came out so he didn't drown.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why'd the blonde jump out the window? To kill herself

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours belong in the zoo Don't worry I'll be there too! Not in the cage But laughing at you! ??

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's worse than requesting a three-some to your in-laws? Forgetting to suggest that they me too fragile and disabled, resulting in one of their limbs breaking.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Put it on my bill."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is terrible and doesn't exist? This joke's punchline,

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's black, blue, red, green, white, purple, orange, yellow, etc.? Last I checked, a bunch of colors

thumb_up thumb_down -11

y was man afaid of fire?, cuz its hot

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, and they don't have to be blonde, anyone can screw in a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A woman walked into a college.....which wasn't suprising because she never learned to read

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Gullible is not in the dictionary Yes it is

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q:What's the difference ethernet a corvette and a pile of dead baby's? A:I don't have a corvette in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What happened to the guy who dropped his soap in the prison shower? His friend picked it up for him.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's worse than celery stuck between your teeth? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

FOX News: Fair and balanced

thumb_up thumb_down -11

If you work at Penn State you might want to skip the annual "bring your kid to work day"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because grass don't eat meat.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did I deleted brian from my friend list ? Cuz he had brain tumor.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops