jacob mckeand broke his arm and now he cant wank :(:(:(

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One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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Knock Knock Hold on Im pooping.

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of African decent to sit in towards the front of the bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of European decent.

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What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

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Knock knock Who's there? Overused punchline Overused punchline who? The Holocaust.

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Roses are Red I shit in your Stew When you eat it The joke is on you

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Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

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Why did the muffin not eat the other muffin. Because muffins do not have a digestive system.

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What goes in dry and comes out wet and sticky? Bubble Gum

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Why wouldnt you want to hit a black man that is on a bike with your car? It mite be your bike

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Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: seven raped six's mom

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Wally.

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Did you hear phonsi was Gay? I just found out too, he walked into the diner and said, "ive got AAIIIIIDS."

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what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

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Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

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hey hey hey wanna hear a joke.....................................MENS IQ!!!!!!

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Knock Knock who's there its black george washington.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops