- Anti Joke

A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

How does a person with Alzheimers' poem go? Roses are red, Roses are red, Roses are red, Wait, what was I doing?

A panda walks into a bar, orders some bamboo shoots, and bamboo leaves, and eats them

How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: locks door NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! opens door NEXT!

what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

A black man, a Mexican man, a Jew, an Asian man, and a white man get into a fight. Who won? Well since their dispute got all the way to a fight, I guess nobody really wins.

what is black and blue and hates sex? the ten year old in my trunk.

A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because its a horse. It then poops on the floor and leaves

"bluar blah blah blarRR/ the stupid pointless part" dead people/ animals/ objects can't talk/ drive/ operate compueter, lol I'm so focken funni

what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

Whats the same between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple except for the elephant

Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

Two men walk into a bar and begin ordering drinks. Both men engage in polite conversation with each other. At the end of the night they each take taxi's home because they realize the potential risk they pose to others if they drive intoxicated.

Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

Why did Bob scream "Nurrrrrrrrr!!"?.....because he was mentally challenged.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

your a vagina says you, your a booby

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Columbine Massacre

I named my son ps2 controller

What happened when a Black man ran into a white supremacist? They exchanged insurance information

i dont fisish anythi

You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

How does a person with Alzheimers' poem go? Roses are red, Roses are red, Roses are red, Wait, what was I doing?

A panda walks into a bar, orders some bamboo shoots, and bamboo leaves, and eats them

How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: locks door NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! opens door NEXT!

what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

A black man, a Mexican man, a Jew, an Asian man, and a white man get into a fight. Who won? Well since their dispute got all the way to a fight, I guess nobody really wins.

what is black and blue and hates sex? the ten year old in my trunk.

A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because its a horse. It then poops on the floor and leaves

"bluar blah blah blarRR/ the stupid pointless part" dead people/ animals/ objects can't talk/ drive/ operate compueter, lol I'm so focken funni

what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

Whats the same between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple except for the elephant

Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

Two men walk into a bar and begin ordering drinks. Both men engage in polite conversation with each other. At the end of the night they each take taxi's home because they realize the potential risk they pose to others if they drive intoxicated.

Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

Why did Bob scream "Nurrrrrrrrr!!"?.....because he was mentally challenged.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

your a vagina says you, your a booby

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Columbine Massacre

I named my son ps2 controller

What happened when a Black man ran into a white supremacist? They exchanged insurance information

i dont fisish anythi

You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

How does a person with Alzheimers' poem go? Roses are red, Roses are red, Roses are red, Wait, what was I doing?

A panda walks into a bar, orders some bamboo shoots, and bamboo leaves, and eats them

How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! *opens door* NEXT!

what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

A black man, a Mexican man, a Jew, an Asian man, and a white man get into a fight. Who won? Well since their dispute got all the way to a fight, I guess nobody really wins.

what is black and blue and hates sex? the ten year old in my trunk.

A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because its a horse. It then poops on the floor and leaves

"bluar blah blah blarRR/ the stupid pointless part" dead people/ animals/ objects can't talk/ drive/ operate compueter, lol I'm so focken funni

what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

Whats the same between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple except for the elephant

Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

Two men walk into a bar and begin ordering drinks. Both men engage in polite conversation with each other. At the end of the night they each take taxi's home because they realize the potential risk they pose to others if they drive intoxicated.

Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

Why did Bob scream "Nurrrrrrrrr!!"?.....because he was mentally challenged.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: locks door NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! opens door NEXT!