What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

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-Is this the Krusty Krab? -Yes, how can I help you?

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Why don't you make like a tree, and get out of here.

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An anti-Semite, a Jew and an American walked into the bar. The barman said: "Hi, Sara".

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What's worse than terminal cancer? Two terminal cancer?

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A priest, a rabbi, and a muslim cleric walk into a bar. In Syria. Dead children.

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What did one pig say to the other pig while sitting in the bathtub? No thanks I already have a typewriter.

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Whats a black and white and red all over? i dont know...who spends their time researching this kind of stuff

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Q:Why was 6 afraid of seven? A:Because seven ate (eight) nine

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four blondes where on their way to disneyworld they see a sign that say disneyworld:left so they turn around wondering where disneyworld went

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Why was little Timmy mauled by a bear? He poked it with a pointy stick.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gilbert Gilbert who? Goddamn it David just open the door

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Who swept the woman off her feet? A kidnapper

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What is the difference between Julis Ceaser, and the moon? The moon is covered in rocks and craters, and Julis Ceaser is DEAD

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what does a buttler put in a closet ? stuff.

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What do black people do with M&Ms? They eat them.

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Yo momma so fat, she's dead.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

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A snail buys a car from a dealership, and then asks the manager if he could paint a large S on the side of the car. The manager agrees, and the snail drives away. From the parking lot, the manager sees the car go straight on to the highway and get hit by a truck. Unfortunately, snails cannot drive.

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The Dalai Lama orders a slice of pizza for $2 and gives the cashier a $5 bill. He then realizes he hasn't been given any change, so he asks for his change. The cashier quickly apologizes and hands the Dalai Lama three dollar bills.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" Not Sally because she has no arms ~Sally jokes

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A. Knock Knock B. ... A. Knock Knock B. ... A. DING DONG B. Who's there? A. Me, I tried knocking first but you musn't have heard me, so I rang the doorbell.

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What did the first Ethiopian say to the other? He asked for some food only to realize that the other one had already starved to death.

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Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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