(Knock, knock) A: Who's there? B: Orange A: That is impossible. Oranges are inanimate objects and, therefore, cannot speak.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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The world does not deserve our rule, it requires effort, teamwork, respect for oneself and others, tolerance, love, patience, strength, honor, loyalty... ...Face it, people do this because it is far easier to be ruled, than to rule, it is far easier to do as told, than to ask oneself what one desires with ones life. A king that suffers the burden of his people, falls of his throne, a king that enjoys the burdens of his people, creates burden, and grows as people suffer. We cannot change that, maybe we have yet to evolve to that point as humans, or maybe it is time to accept, that we have evolved past this.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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What's worst than missing a doctors appointment? Having AIDS and missng out on getting a cure that could have gotten rid of your disease.

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Heads or tails? Heads. Sorry, I'm fresh out.

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What's the difference between a hipster and a steaming pile of shit? Many things.

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why did the guy get pulled over he had a broken tail light

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Why did Gina laugh? Because something was funny.

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Why couldn't Johnny drive? Because he had no arms or legs. Why didn't he have any arms or legs? Because Johnny was a potato.

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Why was the tree sad? Because a bird shat on it.

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What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder and rape of a 7 year old child.

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Hey, have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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What's the difference between unicorns and black people? Years of slavery.

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What did Ghandi tell St Peter as he passed through the Gates of Heaven? He didn't. There is no afterlife.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sara

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I don't usually drink beer, but when I do it usually doesn't take much for me to feel the effects of intoxication.

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Dad, why do people say mom is a nympho? No idea son, try asking one of your other dads.

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asians have slitted eyes lol

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Yo mama's so fat when they asked her if she wanted fries with that she said yes

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class is canceled. My professor died.

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Person 1: knock knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: nobody Person 2: nobody who? Person 1: ............

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Q: what do you call a person who's ass is dumb A: a dumbass

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Interrupting Doctor Interru--- You Have Cancer...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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