A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

What do you call the man with no arms or legs, swimming in the bay? Bob.

mom and dad went into the bedroom after a long day at work the fell asleep

Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

Knock knock. Who's there? Blanket Blanket who? Blanket, son of deceased recording artist Michael Jackson. Ever since his father died there has been so much stress in the family that he could not handle it. He ran away and is now seeking shelter and grief council.

Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

How do you kill a jew? Same way you would anyone

What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

knock knock who is there who who who your an owl

You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

people say i have big feet but you know what the say about people with big feet? :) big socks. sl

What do you call a black man that steals a VCR? My Grandpa, he was a Vietnam vet

What did the apple say to the carrot? Nothing, apples don't talk

A black man, Jew and a Mexican go camping. A bear wanders into their campsite, but upon seeing them runs away because it's afraid of humans.

How did the little boy die? A speeding moving truck took a sharp turn, the locks on the doors broke open and a huge office desk flew out and crushed the boy.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

Guns don't kill people, books kill trees.

My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum sucker, and the other is an advisor who assists people by representing them on legal matters.

Why didn't the boy go to the bathroom? His mother was taking a well deserved bath.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle!

What do you say to a cat with a helmet on? Silly cat, you rhyme with hat but you shouldn't wear one.

(Something terribly disturbing that people find funny)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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