What did the asian kid do before he got a blood test? He studied.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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What do you get when you throw a bagel at a chicken? One less bagel.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my gamertag so party up maybe?

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No smoking No eating No drinking On this bus Didn't say anything about sniffing

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Why do elephants paint there feet yellow? so they can hide in mustard bottles. Have you ever seen an elephant in a mustard bottle? exactly

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why did the chicken cross the road it didn't it got hit y a car

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary

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What is lil Wayne's real name? Dwayne micheal carter jr.

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Knock knock! Just kidding.

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What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

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Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

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Gods like Santa one day you'll get to the age of reason and see how dumb you were

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

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What did little boy with no arms and no legs get for chrismas: a bike

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Why did the blond cross the road? She needed to get to the shop as she'd run out of milk.

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What did the boy with no legs get? A treadmill.

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I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

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A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

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Why did the Alzheimer's patient fail the history exam? I don't remember.....

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A muslim walks onto a plane. He goes to 13C as that is his seat designated on his ticket.

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Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

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What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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