What did Jimmy say when the bully poured milk on his head? Nothing, instead he took out a shank and proceeded to stab him 30 times and let him bleed to death for being a douche.

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What name do you call a woman who is pregnant? Her first name.

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What's black and white and red all over? Michael Jackson after his operation.

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What's worse then three frogs playing leap frog? Nothing that would be awesome

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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PS3 has the exerrent technorogy and finersse to make excerrent gaming such as... ...ITS RIDGE RACER! RIIIIIIIIIDGE RACEEEEEEEEEEEER!

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why are marcos hands all swetty. he just got done giving a hand job to joe.

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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If you listen to Justin Beiber all day long, what do you become? Very hungry and thirsty. And you need to go to the restroom.

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whats awesome? a blade of grass with a mexican hat and a revolver.

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An Asian walks into a bar and says, "1???????????"

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

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What do Jesus, The Easter Bunny, and Santa Claus all have in common? Their middle names are all Larry.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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In my eyes Nero, you are much like a philosopher, the kind which are mocked while they live, and then a couple thousands years later, are recognized as the most intelligent beings of their time.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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A man walks into a bar. The force of the impact causes serious head trauma and kills him within a matter of minutes.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse begins bucking wildly, injuring three patrons before breaking through the front door.

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why did the girl slap joe? he had a boner.

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What's worse than farting in front of your boyfriend? Farting on your boyfriends pillow and giving him pink eye.

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A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. I don't know, why? A. I asked first.

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Why is that man such a perv? I don't know. Ever since I let him see my boobs, he has had this undying obsession with sex. So, I guess that, as society would classify him, he is a sex addict. He will do anything for it, even if he needs a man to get it. I feel terrible about starting his obsession, and plan to take him to therapy next week for the sake of his health.

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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You had 10 bricks on an airplane, you throw one. How many do you now have? 9. How do you get the elephant in the fridge? Open the fridge put the elephant in. How do you get the giraffe in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in. There was an animal meeting, all animals were invited. Which animal was missing? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge. An old woman wants to cross a river that was full of crocodiles. How does she cross without getting eaten? The crocodiles were at the animal meeting, so she got across safely. She dies anyways. What happened? She was hit by the brick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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