Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Impossible, fruits to not have the ability to talk.

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What did the frat guy drink after he lifted? A various assortment of beverages that were chilled at a cool 66 degrees.

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Roses are red, My name is Dave, This poem makes no sense, Microwave.

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What's big and green and would probably kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table.

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A young girl walks into a dark alley. She emerges a few minutes later unharmed and goes about her day.

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How do you get a one-armed clown out of a tree? Hit it in the face with an axe.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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what do a blonde and a brunette have in common? They were both red-heads until they walked into great clips.

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My teacher told me to so a report on women rights.....I turned in a blank sheet! ^.^

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I may have Alzheimer's. But at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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What do you do to vegetables to make them taste good? Nothing. They are still people, and they can't speak up for themselves.

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,Do you know what hapened to the janitor who cleaned the school halls? He finished the job, got paid a reasonable amount and went home to his average family.

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how do you kill a blond? there are many ways but every one of them is illegal and could be criminally chargeable.

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what do you call when a penis is inside a vagina? sex

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"Seriosly" You got a life buddy? Are you okay? Cant you see that I am totally rocking out on my imaginary air guitar which is now inside your mind? No you are not okay! Moral: YOU ARE NOT OKAY SPREAD THE WORD! INFORM THE WORLD! YOU ARE NOT OKAY! Moral2nd: "Seriously" though dawg, you cant keep watching over me all the time, I mean you I smell the hypocrisy, but are you guys AAAALWAYS HERE? DO NOT REPLY! WE REPEAT, DO NOT REPLY!rq

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knock! knock! who's there? the police, your family died in a car crash!

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So a man and his wife were in a horrible car accident. The man died, so why isn't the wife mourning his death? Because she is also dead. But, do you know who did mourn and cry over this horrible tragedy? Their children, other family members, and friends.

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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What do you get when you cross a lion and a tiger? A Ligor.

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roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

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Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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How do you stop birds from building nests in your grill? You turn the grill on

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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