chuck norris threw a grande and killed 50 people then the grande blew up

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

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A woman walked into a bar. She dragged her drunk husband off his stool and left.

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What is the difference between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney? One is President, the other is not.

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Billy and Joseph are playing Rock paper scissors. Billy says paper. Joseph proceeds to throw a rock as hard as he can at Billys face and sends him to the emergency room where he was later diagnosed with terminal testicular cancer.

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What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What did Ghandi tell St Peter as he passed through the Gates of Heaven? He didn't. There is no afterlife.

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A kid walks into a bar. He leaves wasted.

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What's red and has four letters? A stop sign

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What do you call a black man with a lip desiese? Jumbo shrimp

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How did Sarah Offet win? He had no arms. Knock, knock? Whose there? Not Sarah Offet

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A guy went to a girl asked if she wanted to have sex with him. She said yes and they promptly had sex.

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How many blondes does it take to finish a math test? 1 if she isn't copying.

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Whats long hard and full of semen? A dick.

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What do you find at a black guys yard sale? A bunch of reasonably priced items since he comes from a low income household.

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My children are mistakes

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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Q: how many babies does it take to paint a house red? A: It Depends on how hard you throw them

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-Hey cute blonde! -I'm not blonde.. -Nor are you cute.

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How many calories are in a bag of Fritos? 160 calories.

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There are 3 guys, a fat guy, a skinny guy, and sexy guy. They all work together and have lunch together. The fat guy opens his bag and eats a ham and turkey sandwich. The skinny guy opens his bag and eats a tuna sandwich. The sexy guy opens his bag and eats an egg sandwich. The fat guy finishes his meal. The skinny guy saves half for later. The sexy guy ate more than half of his food. A genie magically appears. The End

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What did the frog say when he heard his family was dead? "ribbit"

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An american family is picknicking on the bottom of the ocean. They are eating french fries, big mac's, chicken mc nuggets and drinking coca cola, some slurpies too, all purchased at the local mac donalds near lyndon blvd, in chevy chase near that weird house with the toothless lady that always smiles and then all of a sudden frowns at you, often wearing either a dark green or mint green dress. Spongebob squarepants comes drifting by dead in circular pants and little Sally, their youngest daughter asks a question, which cannot be heard because they're underwater.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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