Why did the chicken cross the road? Why don't you ask the chicken. I am sorry but I as a human being am totally incapable of understanding and communicating with chickens.

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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Out of Jill, Jason, Jesse, Jane and Harold, which one is the odd one out? Jason, because he only has one arm.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had very recentley made his escape from a nearby farm, of which was owned by a man close to dying of a Rhabdoid Tumor. His family was in mourn.

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When there's something strange in your neighborhood, who ya gonna call? The Police. There's something strange in your neighborhood.

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A child wasn't wearing knee pads when he was skateboarding. He proceeded to fall of his board and break his arm

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What did the red bag have written on it? Yellow bag

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What scares little children and befriends their parents? A clown

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So my wife was in the kitchen, and I asked her to make me a sandwich. She agreed. I then volunteered to make her one. Lesbian relationships are amazing.

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what did the little boy say to his sibling? dat not funny!

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What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

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what do you get when you cross a red snugulo and a blue glurga? your on acid

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How do you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg? You can't take pictures with wooden legs.

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That awkward moment when a sentence doesn't end the way you thought it gay unicorn

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what has fore legs and cant fly a cat you idiot

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and a sorority girl? You could always eat the bowling ball if you really had to.

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If Tiger Woods is Asian and Black what is he? A golfer!

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? a pilot.

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Why is a dog smarter than a human? Because you an asshole if you believe me

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How can you finally get your girlfriend to scream in the bedroom? Store the bodies there.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? To run away from the angry chicken who was mad that he was slacking off work.

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Why was the little boy sad? -Because he was on Fire.

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What did Chuck Testa do when he saw she had died of a heart attack? He cried and gave her a proper funeral and burial.

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Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops