Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

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Whats worse than cutting yourself with scissors? Being forced into a blender by your baby's ghost.

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What's worst than getting hit by a car. -Getting hit by a truck.

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Why did Hitler kill himself? He realized what he'd gotten himself into and became severely depressed

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Roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, others don't

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What's the meaning of life? I forgot to write it down.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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se* is like math add the couple minus the clothes add the cream and just hope they dont multiply

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how do you stop a black man from drowning take your foot off his head

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What's better than a stick? A stone

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Two guys fight over a girl. The girl gets up from under them.

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your brother so fine that hes skinney

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Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

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Today is jessica's birthday and she is turnig 6 She walks in the living room to tell her dad its her birthday. Jessica"Dad, Dad guess how old i am today!" Dad "How old?" Jessica"6 dad im am 6". she walks into the kitchen to tell her Grandad Jessica" papa papa guess how old i am today" Grandad"Well for me to know this you would have to take of your panties" as he tells her she did as she was told. her grandad fingers her and smells her panties. He tells her "You are 6 today" Jessica"How did you know" Grandad"I listen as you told your dad in the dinning room".

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So, there's a black man, an Asian man and an Irishman who are in a bar, politely discussing wether the Asian's phone would break if it was thrown from a plane in the Pacific Ocean. The black man says "Of course it would break." The Irishman says "I have no opinion on this..." The Asian man says "I think it would break, you are right John." Suddenly, a man enters.

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What did the basketball player do before he scored a basket? Shot the basket ball

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That awkward moment when the moment is awkward.

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what did the penguin say to the other penguin after they rolled down a hill, and fell into a pile of leaves then proceeded to go swimming, play basketball, go swimming again and then play ping pong and pool? nothing. penguins cant talk

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What goes in dry and comes out wet and sticky? Bubble Gum

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What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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Kobe Bryant passing the ball

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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