A man walks into a restaurant and asks a waiter, "Do you serve crabs here?" The waiter says, "Certainly! In fact, stuffed crab is today's special."

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Rylan Clark

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Q: What did one water bottle say to another water bottle? A: Nothing. Water bottles are inanimate objects and are thus unable to communicate.

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Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

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why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies "my whole family was killed in 911... And I used the money I got from life insurance to get plastic surgery to always have a smile on my face. My doctor botched the surgery, so now my face is elongated. Even for a horse, of course."

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Why did the TV not turn off? You need to use a remote.

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Larry The Cableguy....thats it.

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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Why did the plane crash? The Pilot Wash a Loaf of Bread

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Why did the girl drop her ice cream? Because seeing as a bus was heading straight toward her, she quickly decided to sacrifice her frozen treat and dodge the oncoming vehicle in order to save her life.

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how much fish could a chicken

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Whats the difference between a red cup and a blue cup. Ones red and the other is blue.

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener

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what do you get when a white woman and black man have a child? either a girl or a boy

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A man walks inti a bar and asks for a drink, he shows the bartender his ID and is kicked out because the man is underaged.

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what is the difference between gravel and dead baby guts? i dont eat gravel.

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree no

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Roses are red Bob is dead My name is Dave Your a microwave

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One day, I was talking to a lamp on the phone, when I realized I had called the wrong lamp.

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What do you call a fat jew? A person that most likely has an eating problem and needs to seek help from the nearest rabbi

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

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roses are red grass is greener get in the bed and suck on my wiener

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops