Why did the plane crash? The pilot was Hellen Keller.

eyebrows up means ur flirting this isnt a joke dont laugh

What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

What do you get when you cross a crocodile and a couch? A coat because vests don't have sleeves.

Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

"Torture the orphans as much as you want. Who they gonna tell? Their parents?"

What did the T-Rex say to the chicken? Nothing. First of all because the Tyrannousaurus Rex has been extinct for over 65 million years and secondly because Tyrannousaurus Rex's and chickens are both animals of lower intelligence so they cannot talk to one another.

How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

How does a black guy in debt make money fast at the bank? He applies for a loan and conscientiously works hard to pay off the loan in turn, which he was lucky enough to get at a low interest rate.

A homeless guy was walking along the beach when all of a sudden he see's what looked like to be magic genie's lamp so he pick the lamp up whipes it off then sells it for black tar herion.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

What did the angry man with tourette syndrome say when he smashed his thumb with a hammer? Ouch.

a brick cheats on another brick the brick finds out and dose nothing because it is a brick

what do chinese kids make for fathers day? shoes

hey I just met you, and this is crazy. I have alzheimers. Hey i just met you.

What separates man from animal? Divorce.

Why does the rabbit go in the hole? because that's where it lives.

scenario: two teddy bears wrestling under water question: how many apples does it take to tussel with a potato answer: 96 becouse pillows dont eat chease

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...