whos on the right track? lady gaga

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw a lightbulb? None, they couldn't cross the border.

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What's the different between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my penis up your butthole

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What do you call it when an old person cuts off their fingers? Dementia

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What did the cop say to the speeding black man? "Can I see your license and registration?"

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antonio has a penis head.lol

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What color is a red house Red What color is a blue house Blue What color is a white house White What color is a green house Clear

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin, "Sure is hot in here." The other muffin says, "AHHHH! A talking muffin."

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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Roses are gray, violets are blue; I'm red-green colorblind so I occasionally have difficulty seeing most shades of red or green.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stoplight turned green

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Ask me if im a truck are you a truck no

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roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. And that's when I found out my Uncle Ted was a cross-dresser.

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What's the difference between my girlfriend and a dead baby? I don't make out with my girlfriend after sex.

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guy walks into a bar.... Ouch.

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What's the scariest thing about the dark? There's a black man in my bed.

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what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

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"I have a job perfromance review today!" Earl told his wife. "Good luck, I will make you a special dinner tonight," Melinda, his wife, responded.

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How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

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What's worse than eating half a worm? Eating somebody's brain.

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Your legs are more open than my back door! Which is closed.

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What did the Blonde do when she saw train tracks? She walked over slowly, looked both ways, and crossed safely

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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