So let's pretend two men that had been friends for a very long time, one man asks the other man how he is, so the man tells the other man how he is doing. Then that man asks the other man how he is doing. The two men were engaged in a very interesting conversation. What did the men do next? Nothing. We're pretending, remember?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Whos there Not Susie What did Susie get for Christmas? I don't know , she never opened it. Who high fived Susie? No one Why did Susie die? She got shot in the face

thumb_up thumb_down -17

To Daniel You must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the war end? Because one country surrendered. They were getting beat pretty bad, it seemed like the only viable option.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

To men walk into a bar. One says to a paying customer, "Mind if I sit here?" and the other man inquires the bartender about so.e fancy drink that takes five minutes to prepare. After 23 minutes, naturally, they left at exactly the same time and they went home to their wife and kids. They both share a wife and kids.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

i bought a knock-knock joke book, and was unamused.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A dinosaur walks into the bar, everyone panics in fear and confusion because it is a dinosaur and it's weird.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

So, I walk into a bar and say "Why do you call this place a bar, I don't see any bars in here!" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the rooster cross the road? Because he wanted to prove he wasn't a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I can prove I'm a psychic - this post is going to receive a lot of dislikes.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the chicken cross the road? Chicken is a funny word, and the road is a plot device.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A boy is diagnosed with terminal cancer. His family prays for him and he still dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did single women didn't want any babies for? because of Ice Ice Baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did Raymond say when josh ate him? Nothing because Raymond was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

y r black people noses so big??? A= god had to hold tem somehere to spray paint them

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is one similarity between John Samos, and the dreadful clown? they have a red nose and are payed to be funny, aside from John Samos!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What happend to the dude who couldnt fart He blew up

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What sound did the Moon Man say to the Moon Woman? Nothing, there isn't an atmosphere so sound cannot travel.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Whites black white and red all over? The nazi flag.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the skeleton cross the road? Because Apocalypse arrived and dead people now have the ability to walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is the meaning of life? Bill Gates: Windows Donald Trum: Money Some poor kid:luck and rich parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops