Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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Why couldn't Jimmy breathe? He had a knife in his throat!

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Q why did the girl scream A she got hit with an axe

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You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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How do you kill a black man wearing a bullet proof turbin? Shoot him anywere other then his turbin.

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

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What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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I once duped this chick with a parrot. Crazy thing wouldn't shut up. The parrot was pretty cool

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Shltskc gw? G

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Neither have I

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Faith, Family, Friends, those are three words.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because it broke...

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

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Why did the black man fall down the stairs? Because he was blind

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Do you want to hear a joke?!?!?!?!?!?! A happy orphan

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why did the bear fall out of the tree? He died. Why did the raccoon fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the bear.

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Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

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What's purple and fuzzy? A piece of purple fuzz.

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Steve Jobs is alive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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