How do you catch a Jew? Just give him a little shower ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Your mother is so heavy that she decided to try out nutrisystem

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

roses are green violets are green i was drunk last night

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

thumb_up thumb_down +32

why did the kid struggle in school? because hes mentally retarted

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did Timmy miss school? He was killed in a tragic school bus accident

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the Asian crash her car? Someone shit on her windsheild.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Three Jews walked into a bar. I lied... it was a gas chamber.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

So, this cheerio is in love with a beautiful frosted cheerio. He asks her on a date. She says no, because she only dates other frosted cheerios. So the cheerio works really hard at his job and is promoted to a honey-nut cheerio. So he asks her out again. She says no because she only dates frosted cheerios. So he works even harder and is made a frosted cheerio. He asks her out again and she accepts. 4 months later after a relationship built on trust and understanding they are married and live a long and fullfilling life together.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

thumb_up thumb_down +28

"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A man walks into a bar with a chicken on his head the bartender asks the man why do you have a chicken on your head the man replies the chicken is thirsty

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops