John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the camel climb Mount Everest? Actually, he wasn't a camel, he was a very experienced mountain climber. In any case no one really knows why he did it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

So a baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you make an ugly person not ugly? Put a bag over their head. With,, a smiley face.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk? A person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender says, "Why the short face?"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many owls can you fit in a bath tub?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why wouldnt you want to hit a black man that is on a bike with your car? It mite be your bike

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what do you call a white man who appears to be standing on water? a surfer

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

All of these jokes are about white people

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Hitler wasn't such a bad guy. He did kill Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a swimming pool full of black people? A family enjoying their holiday.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops