Why does it get hot after a basketball game? Because of the crowd all breathing out carbon dioxide and the high level of activity generating excess body heat.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do call a fly with no legs? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did Billy fall off his bike? He tried to kill himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's sad about four children going over a cliff in a car ? Four children just went over a cliff in a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a dog with no legs? A seal.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar. A good time was had by all, until closing time.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

your mother is so heavily obese, she became one of the 60 million individuals in America who are obese today.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's worse than celery stuck between your teeth? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my gamertag so party up maybe?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Gods like Santa one day you'll get to the age of reason and see how dumb you were

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the difference between sand and menstral blood? I can't gargle sand

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the asian kid do before he got a blood test? He studied.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A white man, a black man, and a brown man are all in an elevator. The white man laughs "this is like the start to a racist joke or something." The other two men strangle him because he is white.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Max Head fingered himself, HAH

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a black man with a gun a soldier who is fighting for his country

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why do elephants paint there feet yellow? so they can hide in mustard bottles. Have you ever seen an elephant in a mustard bottle? exactly

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops