Q. What happened to the women who cut her finger? A. she got staff infection and died.

Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

Can you get me a stapler,but make sure it has staples or else I won't be able to staple anything

Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

Why can't you lie to atoms? Because they make up everything!

A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

Two boys go down stairs on christmas day. They fall and die.

Jehovas Witnesses: Summer vacation edition reality show: BItch: Do you know Jesus? Guy: Goddammit you A*Beep*SSHOLES again! I keep telling you all this is m0thertrucking Spain, I know like 500 Jesus`s living in this town alone! *slams door* Moral: Everybody knows at least something about the goddamn Jesus! Ill try asking "Is he the guy that lives downstairs?" Next time and see what happens.

What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

What do you call a black man with a guitar? His name

What do you call someone with no arms, one leg,and an eye patch? names

Why was Sally in a wheelchair? Her abusive father beat her repeatedly with a rake.. Then as she crawled out the door to try and get help, the abusive father took his Dodge Ram and ran over her legs reapeatedly. Then began to slap her. Luckily, a vigilante saw the whole thing and slaughtered the father with an axe and carefully escorted Sally to the hospital. After a couple of weeks of beautiful and extraordinary care, Sally made a full recovery and was able to leave.. and all patients have to leave in a wheelchair

There were 3 men on a rough each granted one wish to make. The first guy sees a bird and runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a bird and he flies away. The second guy sees a butterfly so he too runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a butterfly and flies away. The third guy telling himself those were all stupid wishes, makes up his mind what he is going to wish for so he runs to the ledge and just after he says "I wish to be" he trips on the ledge and says, "shit!" So his wish was granted and shit he became. The End.

Whats worse than the Holacaust? Stepping on damn Lego's. MrBounty44

What did the doctor say to the obese person? You have diabetes.

What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

why did the boy fall over? because he was hit by a fridge that fell out of the tree.

Whats worse than getting a splinter? Taking a shower at penn state

Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

What rhymes with milk...milf

Im not random you just can't think as fa-bunnies

A white man applies for a job two weeks later he finds out he lost the job to a hardworking Mexican who went to college and payed his debts

Q: What did Batman say when Robin was in the Batmobile? A: Robin, get out of the Batmobile.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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