Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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What is red and smells like blue paint? Read paint.

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It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

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Justin Bieber's voice sounds like Michael J. Fox playing a theramin.

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a man with a scar on his right hand walked in to a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x z y.

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Why did the girl go to Jupiter? To get more stupider

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have alzheimers, cheese on toast.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a child's swimming pool? 9 (Trust me, you won't be able to squeeze the tenth one in there.)

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?" The horse replies, "I have cancer."

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why didn't the unicorn have a horn? It was a horse. Why didn't the horse have a horn? it was not a unicorn.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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What did the alphabetical soup spell for little Bobby? U gOt SUzie prEgnant ....... aGaiN

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What did the Chinese man say to the black man? I'm Part of my Asian herritage.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Sanderson. Sanderson who? You're boyfriend. Let me in. No, I'm a bit busy chopping up dead bodies. Come back in a bit. Oh let me help you! I like the way the blood runs out of the fresh ones!

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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A Hideo Kojima AntiJoke Typed by Hideo Kojima. Idea By Hideo Kojima. Concept By Hideo Kojima Spacing by Hideo Kojima Controlled for typos by Hideo Kojima Overseen By Hideo Kojima Aproved By Hideo Kojima. Reconsidered By Hideo Kojima Accepted by Hideo Kojima What took you so long?

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one of the idiot

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A Priest, a Rabbi and a Shaman walk into a bar. The Bartender looks at them and says "What is this a Joke?"

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What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

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A man asks his friend "what's black, blue, and red all over?" He repiles, "Nothing, because I'm colorblind."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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