Why couldn't Bruce drive a truck? Cause Bruce was a Fish.

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What did the Chicken say to the Interviewer Interviewer: how do you feel about your eggs chicken: the eggs are actually my periods. Interviewer: how do you feel about your periods ChicKen: you eat my periods everyday. people make cakes, omlettes and all these food out of my period. Imagine the world running on your period. Interviewer: what are your feelings on your periods Chicken: I have a mixture of feelings. i feel really scared because the farmers would kill me if i can have my periods. i feel glorified because the world runs on my eggs and i feel proud. I feel freaked out because the world actualy runs on my periods

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Q: What did the forgetful person say to the other? A:

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Joe is a negotiator. When joe sees someone in trouble, he tries to help them out of it by talking. Joe failed to talk to Osama bin laden correctly. Joe is no longer living in this world. Joe drank his sorrows away and died from the alcohol in his body. Osama is completely unrelated to this, his family died in a car crash.

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What do you call a zebra with no stripes? A zebra with no stripes

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

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How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

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Roses are red, Violets aren't. This doesn't make sense. Potatoes and brown.

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a guy walks in to a bar in iraq. 10 people died because of it

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Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

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Why did the guy lose the race? Because he had explosive diarrhea

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There was a bunch of kids on a bus. One boy yelled "Look a squirrel!" Nobody saw it because he's dyslexic

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How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

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What did Ann Frank say when she dropped her icecream Nothing because she was captured by Natzis

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what do a toothbrush and an ice maker have in common? ....They're both in your house.

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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Why did the man feel like he was flying? Because he had just committed suicide by jumping off of a tall building.

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How many plumbers does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Plumbers don't do that. Electricians do.

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What is the difference between john madsen and a gay person. There isn't because john is gay

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I'm tired of hearing Holocaust jokes, Anne Frankly I'm disappointed.

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Yo momma so fat she couldn't even fit in a house

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Why does Magic Johnson have to use extra-large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops