Why did the horse die? I shot it in the face.

Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

What's blue and wiggles? A baby in a bag

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your limbs scliced off with a chainsaw and being put in a cage to get mauled by a Mutant Man-eating horse.

Curiosity killed the cat, Oh wait, I thought the dog did.

Why did the guy stay up all night on the internet? because hes a fat ugly bastard with no life

What do you call someone trying to be funny? An anti-comedian.

It was a chilly saturday afternoon coles's brother asked cole to baby sit cole said yes and when his brother left cole proceeded to give it to his niece in the ass. Little did cole know he said his little niece on fire that was the end of his little nieces life.

whats the difrence between santa clause and a jew santa goes down the chimney

How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

Why is the sky blue? Time to get a watch.

what are the best kind of bees none they sting and hurt like hell

Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: Someone who just got stabbed to death reading the newspaper.

why do chairs recline Because they were built that way!!!!

what looks like a banana? a penis

When life gives you limes, say hey! wait a second ,aren't these meant to be lemons? then kill yourself

What's worse than putting stones in a blender? Putting a baby in a blender.

How I Met Your Mother, starring Oedipus Rex

What's the difference between a volleyball and a tree? They're both volleyballs except for the tree.

Roses are red, My name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van

why do you kill people in call of duty you don't you kill computer made figures

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding Barney the purple dildo!

Why do giraffes have long necks? So they can reach higher, un-eaten leaves.

How do you know when it is a Mexican's birthday? They are walking around with "happy birthday" balloons.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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