Roses are red, Violets are red, I have a dead body, What do I do.

whats worse than not being able to hear? not being able to breath fvd n avt were here

What do you call Charlie Sheen when he's on drugs? Charlie Sheen.

What happens when you shoot someone? They die.

What is long and painful? It's a sword, get your mind out of the gutter.

Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

If you spill milk Don't cry over it..... Clean it up.

There was once a little boy who started feeling sick. His mother gave him some soup. He died anyway.

what did the boy with cancer get for Christmas a pair of shoes

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies?

Roses are red Violets are blue We decapitated some little children Now I'm in jail too.

Why did little Sammy die of boredom? The WNBA was on

What is worse then your car getting hijacked? A 900 pound man eating a Donut.

A sad guy walks in to a bar and the bartender asks, what's the matter? The guy responds, I just found out i'm deaf

Yo momma stank so bad, she might have a serious vaginal infection. You should take her to the hospital.

what did Tim do when he got married? He kissed the bride Mecheoo LOVES ASS

Q-What happens when you grow tomatoes in Kansas on an odd number year when its an average of 398degrees Kelvin ? A-You eat em

How did Richard the lion heart get his name? From his parents.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not?

Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Getting shot.

What happened to the chicken that crossed the road. It got hit by a fridge.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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