Knock knock Who's there? Orange That's impossible...

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There once was a man from Peru, he couldn't fit into his shoe. He went to Brazil bought a big. Swallowed it and died.

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How do you kill Glenn Campbell? Stab him with a screwdriver.

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Joe has 30 candy bars and eats 25. What does john have now? DIABETIES. Joe has diabeties. Please comment!!!!!!!

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What did the aliens say when they first landed on planet Earth? We've come back for Anthony Davis.

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A. Why did the boy cross the road? B. Why? A. I don't know! That's why I'm asking you.

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How are friends and bananas alike? If you peel their skin and eat them they die.

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How can you outsmart Stephen Hawking? Steal the wheels of his chair and replace them with a dolphin.

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What goes up and down but never physically moves? My grade.

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A jew walked into a bar Hitler said.... A jew walked out of a concentration camp

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a cancer patient walks into a bar and has a stroke

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A little boy had a candle by his bedside. It fell over. The candle was fake, and it didn't burn down his house. When he woke up, he picked up the candle, put it back on his nightstand and had a wonderful day.

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what do you call a fat black cat and a skinny white dog? Freckles and Spot

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Indians

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What do you call a alcaholic walking down the street..... Roadkill

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I'm a Banker. A woman asked if I could check her balance... So I pushed her off a cliff.

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What do you call a girl who can run faster than me? Virgin

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What do Tutankhamun and Elvis Presley have in common? They're dead

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What did tyler say to Jake? My pussy is wet jew

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A rapist leaps out a woman and yells "surprise!" and proceeds to have non-consensual intercourse with her. Later, he is arrested by the police and charged with sexual assault.

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Why do you have to write a conclusion at the end of your paper? So people dont have to read the whole thing.

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Why did Kim Kardashian's and Kris Humphries marriage last so long? It didn't

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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My dog has no nose, how does it smell? Using its anus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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