Ask me if im a truck are you a truck no

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What color is a red house Red What color is a blue house Blue What color is a white house White What color is a green house Clear

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guy walks into a bar.... Ouch.

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How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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you're so stupid, you have trouble understanding what you read, like the newspaper, for example

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Why did the student fail his test? He forget to study for it the night before.

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What's the different between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my penis up your butthole

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what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

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Roses are gray, violets are blue; I'm red-green colorblind so I occasionally have difficulty seeing most shades of red or green.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. And that's when I found out my Uncle Ted was a cross-dresser.

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What do you say to a cat with a helmet on? Silly cat, you rhyme with hat but you shouldn't wear one.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why couldn't the old man see the Moon? Because he was blind and it was daytime.

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Why did Suzy have burns on her face? Because her little brother attacked her with a hot curling iron thinking it was a lightsaber.

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if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

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Q: Why could John say goodbye to his girlfriend ? A: He didnt have one

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What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

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Hillo, its Spodermen, teiling u i fuked ur bich.

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What did the magician say to the little boy after he "cut" his mother in half. She is dead now. Your dad is on Row 4, he is crying.

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Your legs are more open than my back door! Which is closed.

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Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

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What did the Blonde do when she saw train tracks? She walked over slowly, looked both ways, and crossed safely

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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