Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

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Q: If you are debating whether to smoke marijuana, consider: what will your mother say when she finds your corpse? A: As a relatively harmless and non-addictive substance, Marijuana was most likely not the cause of my child’s death. It was probably AIDS.

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What's worse then the bomb that went off in boston? The second one right after.

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Wanna hear a joke? no

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a girl had just gotten dumped by her boyfriend over a text message. she got very sad and became suicidal

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- Knock knock. - Who's there? - Jehovah - Jehovah who? - Jehovah's Witness - Go f*** yourself.

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Blonde: Where's the ice? Asian: In the freezer.

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When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

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What did the depressed teenage fat kid do to resolve his issues? Commited suicide.

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what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

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Three gay men are in a bath tub and bubbles come up and one says "who farted?"

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what's wose than finding a holocaust in your anti-joke? the potential offspring of courtney love and al gore

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A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and gives a heavy sigh. The bartender asks, "What's wrong?" The guy says, "Nothing."

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What is Mary short for? She has no legs.

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I met a hot girl in the Tampon aisle and i asked if she wanted to hang out in 5-7 days

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What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

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Q:Why did the little girl jump in the pool and drown? A:because she didn't know how to swim

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reality TV.

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Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

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I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

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What has straight black lines and is square? A refferee.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Whose there? Obviously not Suzie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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