A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first? Give us the bad news first, the parents reply. Your baby has red hair, says the doctor. Well whats the good news, ask the parents. It’s dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the dog cross the road? To eat the chicken. Why did the police officer cross the road? To tranquilize the dog and the chicken.

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Q: What did the clown say when he got in a car accident? A: Nothing. He died.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because he couldn't get his dick out of the chicken

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CAUSE IT'S ONE, TWO, THREE STRIKES YOU'RE OUT

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A white guy, a black guy, an Asian guy, and a hispanic guy are standing before a cliff. They proceeded to take lovely pictures.

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Q - What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a trampoline? A - I take my shoes off when I jump on a trampoline.

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Whats a lion in Antartica? . Dead

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How many pupils does the teacher have? 2.

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Gorillas are black, Roses are red, Were out of milk, GET THE F**K OUT!

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What did the horse get for Christmas? Starvation and neglect because its owner has been dead for three months of old age and he was a raging, angry, achoholic so no one cared if hey was dead and/or bothered to see if he was alive

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a duck wanted grapes. he didnt get any

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What did michael jackson say to the boys he touched? Nothing. Hes dead

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What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? People that make dead baby jokes.

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Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

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A hooded black man walks into a pharmacy, he caught a cold due to the gelid weather and bought some medicine for himself.

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Mickey Mouse peed on a house what color was it? It wasn't a color, or any pee for that matter. Mickey Mouse is a fictional character for children's amusement.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally murdered 6's entire family.

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When life gives you lemons, you probably just found lemons.

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

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Whats worse than being a black guy? NOTHING.

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Q: What happens when Lisa drops an iPad? A: She plays Desperado on the sax.

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What happens when an alien goes out in the rain It gets wet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops