What do you call 1000 black men walking down a street? The million man march

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There is my brain said the English man stop leaving it in the fridge and let me mug you now get in the car OK!

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One night, a man dreams that he is a bird that can fly into outer space. The next day the man finds out that his son is a homosexual.

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why was the little girl crying? she just watched her whole family get murdered.

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why was little johnny crying? he had frogs stapled to his face.

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Listen Nero, you are the only one I suspect right now, how do you know all of this? Why should I believe you?!

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A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

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Whats the difference between a boy scout and a jew? A boy scout gets to come home after camp.

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Two 16 year old girls are chatting on their way to school: Girl 1 : "hey, is that a hickey on your neck? say, have you been naughty? is it Brian's mark?" Girl 2 : "That's not a hickey, it's a bruise. My dad came home drunk again last night and beat me up for no reason."

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A man walks into a bar and takes a seat at the bar stool. He then proceeds to look over and said a man in a suit and tie open up the window , jumps, and begins to float in mid air. In amazement he approaches the man. He says " That's amazing! How do you do that?" The man in the suit and tie replies "Drink this liquid and you will be able to fly." The man with excitement quickly rushes to the window, opens it, and suddenly falls to his death. The bartender says to the man with the suit and tie " Superman, you're a real dick when your drunk."

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Why did the chicken cross the road?? Because he felt like it okay!!! Just let him be!!!

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What do you call 2 lesbians in a canoe? Fur traders

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Do you like fishsticks? Ya, me too.

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How do you know when a blonde has been using your computer? If you're lucky some of his or hair will have fallen out and be left on the keyboard as evidence.

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What's green, has 4 legs and can kill you if lands on your head? a pool table.

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a man was shot.... he died

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

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When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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what worse than bitting into an apple and finding a worm bitting into a worm and finding an apple

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If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why did the woman stop making a sandwich for her husband? Because he's dead.

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops