what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Christmas presents.

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I love bacon therefor I love people who eat bacon execpt people who eat my bacon then I hate people who eat bacon

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Knock Knock Who's there? A Crazy Rhinoceros

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What time is it? 2:47 PM.

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WHAT? FRIENDS? DID YOU NOT READ MY QUICKFUCK PROFILE? Likes: Orgies. Favorite color: Pussy. Description:Looking for women with vaginas (maybe an asshole is fine too) Please, I am a womanizer, of course we are friends, heck I am even romantic, you know romantic as in... Uh... Well, maybe not my rose bud... (because that did really not appear at the solve media right now)

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue This joke isn't funny And neither are you!

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So a woman walks out of a kitchen, she is instantly mauled by a bear.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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How did the Mexican get into the united States of America? He was an american citizen, just of mexican descent.

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Chuck Norris was in a staring contest with the sun. He's blind now.

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Why did Maggie shit herself? Because she saw her son.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Sex with helen keller.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A lot of things, you just gotta keep your eyes peeled.

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What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

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What's worse than finding gum on your shoe? Being molested by a sea urchin.

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What's the best part of the 1980s? They're over.

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what do you call a black guy with a bachelor's degree? by his first name, "Carl".

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How do you kill somebody? A: I don't know, I'm not a murderer.

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How many infants does it take to paint a house? Forty-Seven.

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What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? No seriously, I don't know because we've only just got electricity in our village.

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Have you heard the one about the Priest, the Pastor, and the Mail Man? -no, how's that go? Oh you haven't? That's too bad, it's really good.

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What's long and blackand goes all night? night time

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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