roses are red violets are blue me + you =the perfect 2

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What's black and white and red all over? Nothing, it is impossible for something to be red all over if there is black and white also.

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Q: What's the upside to your otherwise miserable life? A: You only got raped twice last week.

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Hey you must be a parking ticket, because your yellow.

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FOX News: Fair and balanced

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I had a terrible childhood. My mom abandoned me before I was born.

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knock know. who there?.............. whose there?.........whose there!?!?! damn kids

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Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

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Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

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whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? babies aren't fruit.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you smoke, the blacker your lungs get.

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What do you call a fat kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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whats the differnece between a bag of dead babies and a ferarri? nothing ill never have either

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Why was Mr. Smith always so sad at the block party? His uncle molested him as a child, when he was 10 he finally told his mother. His mother and father later fought if they should tell the police, the mother wanted him to go to jail, and the dad didn't want to ruin his family because the uncle was his brother, and the uncle had children. Right before his mother would call the police his father stabbed her in the back, mr smith saw what happened. Him and his father hid his mothers body and mr smith"s dad told him if he tells anyone about this he will kill him. Years later when mr smith was 13 he went on drugs to ease the pain, he later became an addict, and dropped out of school. He know suffers from depression and has killed all 3 of his wives. He is wanted in many middle eastern countries. So when ever he goes to sleep he has the same dream were him mom offers him pot and right before he gets it his dad stabs her in the back. So know mr smith is sad at the block party because he will kill himself later tonight.

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what is the difference between the dead baby and the sandwich? i don't put my penis into the sandwich before i eat it.

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Son: "Mommy That Boy Over There Beat Me Up" Mom: Good I Like When You Suffer

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A guy walks into a bar. But this was a bar like a pole, so the man ended up with a broken nose.

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I'm so stupid that I'm posting on Anti Jokes!

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Q: Whats worse then a minor fender bender A: Dieing a long painful death by getting stabbed 27 times then getting hit by a car and laying on the side of the rode for 2 hours then you find out that your wife was cheating on you with her your own brouther

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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What do you say to a homeless man sat in a train station? That there is a homeless shelter around the corner.

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A brunette, a redhead, and a blond are all stuck on an island 100 miles away from the nearest civilization with no resources. After 2 weeks, they decide that no one is going to save them and they have to swim for it. The brunette swims 25 miles and then gets eaten by sharks. The redhead swims 75 miles and then drowns. The blond swims 99 miles but got tired, so she swam back.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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