What would happen if Obama got reelected? The economy would turn to shit.

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Knock knock Who's there A girl scout A girl scout who? A girl scout trying to sell cookies to support her alcoholic parents who beat her

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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What do a porkchop and a watermelon have in common? They're both edible, organic, and delicious. Also, both are fun to throw at people.

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What did the white boy say to the black boy? You're black

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side XD

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How do you keep the crime rate down in a black neighborhood? Blow everybody up all at one time.

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Hey, is that your corvette. No I thought it was yours.

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A platypus walks into a bar. Why is there a butter knife in my basement?

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A blind man walks into a bar No literally he does, he has a guide dog and everything, he's a capable member of society, don't be rude.

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Sally bought a shakeweight. She is an alcoholic and is ruining her family.

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A man got struck by a car and was rushed to hospital on life support, he died shortly after. His wife was informed of his death by the doctors and shortly after she killed her children and finally hung herself.

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What's worse than having a gay friend? 9/11.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

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How did the man know he was gay? Australia is full of kangaroos

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink.

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What's worse than putting stones in a blender? Putting a baby in a blender.

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knock knock whos there? dave dave who ? dave starts to cry because his grandmothers oldtimers has restricted her from remembering her grandson dave.

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Who's Micheal Jackson?

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What's worse than depression? Having depression and killing yourself

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All of these jokes suck; so I just made one that equally sucks!

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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Hey Patrick what am i ? Ebola No im Texas! What's the difference?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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