What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

Children + my basement + my finger = yes

What did the man with no head get for Christmas? Nothing he was dead

What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

Thank you very much for being so kind to me throughout the years. I have never known a better man. Rest in peace.

Who didn't allow the gorilla into the ballet studio? Whoever was in charge.

Whats worse than getting an "F" on a test? Stage diving with a kilt on.

How can you tell the difference between a black guy and a white guy? skin color

Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

Whats worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding out that that apple was the tip of a dick

Why do bees fly? Because evolution made them

How did the Mexican got into the USA? Trough the border.

What makes George Michael gay? The fact he engages in sexual intercourse with other men.

Why'd the squrille fall out of the Tree? Cause it was dead

Why did the chicken cross the road? It is hard to know things like that.

A blonde goes to school, and completes a difficult math problem.

Why did the duck cross the road? It followed the chicken.

A man walks into a bar and says, "I'll take a drink."

How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

Roses are red.

Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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