How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

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a jew, a muslim and a christian all walk into a bar; because of the difference in religion im afraid such an event is unlikely to occur in the future.

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In the time it has taken you to read this, a small African child has died.

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why should not women able to vote? because their stupid and should not vote at all

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A man walked into a bar....he's OK.

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What do you call a car with no wheels? Trash

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Roses are red violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in the zoo! But don't you worry I'll be there too! But not in the Ill be laughing at you

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a girl? Consensual sexual intercourse between two young adults.

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why did the blonde put on a coat? because she was cold.

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You're tearing apart, Lisa!

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage.

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What did the elephant say to the pelican? He didn't say anything. I lied.

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what dyu call a bunch of white guys on a bench? the NBA

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what did the teacher say to the students when she was talking about the solar system The sun is very hot. At the core it is 15 million degrees Celsius or 27 million degrees Farenheit. Using a magnifying glass, we can see the very hot heat and the light of the sun. Please do not do that because it can hurt your eyes. This makes the light very bright and the heat is so hot it could start a fire.

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your mama is so fat, she sat on the ipod touch and made the ipad.

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What is the french word for penis? I cannot say because I do not possess an adequate knowledge of the language.

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Why don't jews believe in Jesus Because jews believe Jesus Christ was not their savior

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A witch walks into a bar and orders a drink. She gets her drink and proceeds to have a great time.

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Why did Stephen hawking walk into A bar? He didn't. This situation is impossible considering the fact that he suffers from a horrible condition causing terrible muscular paralysis preventing him from walking.

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If you throw a red stone in a blue lake what does it become? Simply a wet stone.

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If the blue dog falls out of sample object, how many bananas does my mom eat? No, because markers can't talk

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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An old jew, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

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hes climbing in your window, hes snatching your people up. Hes a fireman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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