What did the 3 month old puppy get for Valentines day? Heart Worms. What'd he get for Christmas? Put down.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why can't monkeys and kuala bears get along? Because they are two entirely different species that cannot communicate with each other...

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Tin is a chemical element with symbol Sn (for Latin: stannum) and atomic number 50. It is a main group metal in group 14 of the periodic table. Tin shows chemical similarity to both neighboring group-14 elements, germanium and lead, It is also the material Aodhan's house is made from.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the fat man say when he saw the giant twinky on the billboard? I wish that twinky was real, because I am too poor to pay my bills, am getting audited, and cannot feed my four children on minimum wage.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What has a skinny head and specky? Josh Moran.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

knock knock. who's there? your neighbor. o hi come one in!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you call 100 dead babies in my garage? Murder.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did Prius driver go to jail? Because he ran over someone and then fled the scene of the crime (at 11 mph)

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Roses are red, You're a failed abortion, Happy Valentines Day. :D

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's so funny about Mexicans? Nothing. They're all humans too.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why couldn't the towel talk? Because it didn't have a language.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How do you kill a blonde? Kick her off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am epileptic. SLAWWAWASWAKHINGAGAGAGAKIHARGAVBAZSAWAWAWAWAAAAA

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's sad about a pile of dead people? They didn't have life insurance.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Its crackers to slip a rozer and dropsey in snide.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

i like candy and other things that are edible... please dont thumbs down just cuz this suxxx just put thumbs up and santa claus will haunt u :)

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why are women bad drivers? -There are no roads in between the bedroom and the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Pikachu says "Pikachu!" Squirtle says "Squirtle!" Charmander says "Charmander!" Ash is upset because he cannot communicate with his Pokemon in their foreign tongue.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you say to a womam with two black eyes? Nothing, she's already been told twice.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How did Jimmy lose seven pounds? I killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops