Sosiopath vs How I met your mother: BABABABABA BABABA RARARA LALALA ETC YOU GOT THE DRILL Kids, this is how I met your mother. I saw her at some store, I said "Hey sexy" She told me to fuck off, so I raped her, got out of prison years later, and kids, that is how I met your mother. ...Why I am leaving? Did I ever fucking say I was your father? I Just came here to tell you I raped and killed her after serving my time which was about 2 minutes, so kids, that is how I killed your mother. YOU ARE WELCOME BY THE WAY!Ungrateful kids. Moral of the story: If they are your kids, just say no and get away, and kill Robin for better television. Sociopath vs Grounded for life Moral: Shot the little kid, nobody will notice, not even his own family.Heck if you look at episode 34 you can see a tall handsome dude choking the life of a little boy in the background, and then letting him go just before he passes out and chokes him again? FUN FOR HOURS!

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A guy walks into a doctor's office and says: "Doctor! Doctor! You gotta help me! One day I'm a teepee, and the next day I'm a wigwam, and then the next day I'm a teepee, and then the next day I'm a wigwam again. The doctor says: Sir, we've been over this 100 times! You have stage 4 pancreatic cancer...

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Knock Knock. Erm, sorry to be weird, but can you perhaps use the doorbell, because it's new and has a novelty chime. I'm proud of it and get a little chuckle everytime it rings in the vain hope that, perhaps you, the visitor, may also find it entertaining. Who's there anyway?'

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Q. What did the barber say to the Italian kid? A. Do you want your hair cut or should I just change the oil.?

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What did the blind kid say to his dad Nothing , his dads dead

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yo Dawg I heard you like dogs... So I sent yo ass to prison and got an NFL contract

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What happens when you tickle a rabid iguana? It bites you and you die.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a brick at him.

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Why did the boy play Xbox? Because its a quality source of entertainment

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Why didn't the boy cross the road? Because there was traffic moving at high speed and he didn't want to be paralyzed from the waist down

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What is the least funny thing in the world? This joke.

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Is it a ironic if a man with ADD is driving a Ford Focus?

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wanna hear a sad joke? you! by mad james

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What do you get when you mix a bulldog with a shitzu? One delicious smoothie.

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What is funnier than Miley Cirus getting a Record Album? Justin Bieber's voice.

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If you search "fat black man" on Google, you will find many reesults about black people who happen to be chronicly obese.

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Why did I miss my bus? Because my watch was wrong.

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Why didn't the black man understand an anti-joke? Because like any other member of the human race, he expected a typical joke structure to occur, starting with a misleading introduction which then using surrealism or misguidance trails into a humorous punchline.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

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"So, what do you fancy doing tonight?" "Does it matter? We'll end up doing what you want anyway..."

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Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

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I got stopped for speeding the other day. The policeman said I had to pay a £50 fine. I was gutted. However, later that night I had amazing sex with my wife, which helped me to take my mind off things a bit.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because he wanted to. Problem, AntiJoke community?

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What happened to the old lady with a hat? She fell down

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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