How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

guy walks into a bar.... Ouch.

roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

your friend is gay, but you are not. nothing happens

What did the platypus do whenever he walked into the bar? Nothing. It's a platypus, they don't do much.

What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas?? Nobody knows because he had no arms, therefore he could not open any presents.

Why were Billy's parents laughing at him? Because he was just diagnosed with cancer!

Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple ? The Holacoast

A man walked into a pole barn oh wait I meant a pole bar so it actually hurt.

what's worse than waiting 45 minutes in an amusement park ride? getting your penis chopped off.

What do you call a girl who denies that she is one? Justin Beiber

Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

Q. Whats red and smells like blue paint? A. Wheres my tractor?

Why do thieves shower before undertaking a robbery? Probably part of their morning routine.

What starts with "P" and ends with "orn"? Popcorn

Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

Why do jews have large noses? Genetics.

why did your mom die? Cuz i killed her

Whats the biggest party fowl? Murder

What's purple, smells like an eggplant, and looks like an eggplant? An eggplant.

Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house? She didn't either.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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