Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

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What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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ROSE ARE BROWN VIOLETS ARE BROWN WHO SH*IT IN MY GARDEN!!!!!

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took my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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Three men walk in to a bar, One ducked

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Ele PHa n T

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face" and the horse says "my wife just died of skin cancer."

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What's funny about a small child with no arms, no legs? Nothing.. Nothing at all.

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An old man walks across the street. Several cars start to honk in irritation, for they are in a hurry and the man is walking quite sluggishly.

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hers a joke... japanese people

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

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"What starts with an 'F' and ends with 'uck'?" "I don't know, what?" "'Firetruck.'"

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Why did the Harry Potter fan cry in school? She ran out of tampons.

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Theres a tomatoe a cucumber and a mouth. HA

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Wake up in the morning feeling like... Helen Keller

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What do u call a joke with no punchline? An anti-joke

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So a guy walks into a bar.... he gets a few drinks pays his bill and goes home.

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Q. What do you call a black pilot A. A pilot

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What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops