Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

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Max Head fingered himself, HAH

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dog house, if your parents are a washing machine and a dryer? A: Trick Question, dog houses can't fly!

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Two penguins are in the shower. One of them asks if he can have the soap. The other responds, "What am I, a telephone?"

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Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

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Two men are walking down the street. They both don't make eye contact and continue walking.

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What did the black kid say to the white kid My parents are slaves

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Did you hear about that creepy guy on Facebook? He was un-friended

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roses are red violets should be purple

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What did the apple say to the carrot? Nothing, apples don't talk

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Gary.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle!

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What do you call the man with no arms or legs, swimming in the bay? Bob.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, incapable of understanding the human languages, promptly shits on the floor and leaves...

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Whats black and hangs from trees? To get to the other side.

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What do you get when you mix a donkey with a bungee cord? My bouncy ass

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A man walks into a bar He wakes up from his coma 21 years later and learns that humans now serve pumpkins as gods.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Your momma smells so bad that she purchased arm and hammer products to improve upon her natural scent.

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

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knock knock who's there ?

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Whats worse than the holocaust A: not much

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Why did the man have a finger coming out of his ear? He had a birth defect.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops