Guess what my dad got me for my birthday? NOTHING, he left my mom and I when I was a baby.

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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what does an adhd kid that causes all kind of trouble get? a buncha ass whoopins and some meds to dope his ass up

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What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

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what happened when a chicken laid an egg? it died

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you gay?

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

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What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches

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girls basketball

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was heading to the funeral house to mourn his dead family.

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A man walks into a bar and orders four shots. Before the bartender asks "If it really is that bad of a day". The man says "Yea I need this shit". The next day the bar is overwhelmed with police and investigators. The bartender had emptied a revolver in the tired business man's face and vanished.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get slaughtered.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daffodils are yellow, Flowers come in lots of colours...

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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Why was the minority sad? Because the police beat him and then he was raped in jail.

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Why was the boy put on his socks? So he wouldn't get blisters.

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What happens when you get your leg caught in an elevator door? Nothing. It is likely that the elevator has advanced sensory components that won't allow the door to close on your leg.

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Q. How much Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A. None, they just steal one.

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What do you call a boy with one arm one leg and an eye patch? Names

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Boy: Why is the sky blue? Man: Because it is

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What's the difference between Jews and pizza? One is an adherent to the religion of Judaism, and the other is a doughy bread topped with tomato sauce and cheese. They share virtually no similarities.

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OK, Billy went to his friend Fred in the tree. And then went inside to get a snack. Then Fred fell out of the Tree and.....landed on a comfy mattress.

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops