What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

What happened when the 16 year old told her mother she was pregnant? Her mother was extremely disappointed that her daughter did not stay faithful to an abstinent life but eventually became proud of the fact that she would soon be a grandmother.

I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

A man walks into a pizza place and orders a pizza. When he got the pizza, he saw it had pepporonis on it. He liked that, so he ate the pizza.

A duck walks into a bar and says, "Put it on my bill"

once upon a time there was a chicken, it crossed a road however unlikely this chicken has become famed for its crossing and will be hailed for eternity. through the chickens actions thus the first anti joke was born

What happened when the old man fell off the roof? He died....

how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw 'em.

Knock knock, ... Little Timmy bursts into tears, Because his parents don't love him.

What did the traffic light say to the car? Bye.

I don't always drink beer but when I do, I viciously beat my wife and children.

What is Cleopatra's favorite cookie? A: Chips Ahoy

Hey i just raped you and this is crazy so delete my number and keep the baby

will you like this joke my sources say no

What do you call a duck playing a trombone? Hallucinations

Why did the teacher need sunglasses? Because she taught in a classroom with a very big window and the sun kept getting in her eyes.

My mom

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead get pulled over. The cop says "Yuck!" Then shoots the redhead because red hair is disgusting.

You've got more chins than a Chinese... Girl with a lot of chins, because she's so fat

A man walks into a chiropractor. The chiropractor asked whats wrong with you? The man replies My boner has scoliosis.

I used to be an Adventurer like you, but then i took and arrow to the Elbow.

Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if you father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

You know what they say about guys with big feet. They have big feet.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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