whats awesome? a blade of grass with a mexican hat and a revolver.

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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What do you get when you cross the ocean with a dinosaur? Wet.

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The saying "When Pigs Fly" Can easily be canceled. Just tie a rocket and wings to it and let it go.

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the only thing i learned in geometry is when you push two circles together it makes a titty venn diagram

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Why was the Chinese man so sad? He's Asian.

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Obama stumbles upon a KKK meeting. All the klansmen shake his hand and respect him because he is the President.

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so today, i was walking along, and i noticed that it was sunny outside.

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What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying Cut its head off

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Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

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What do you get when you put a woman in a room with 4 guys? She gets Gang Banged.

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Knock Knock Whos there 9/11 nine eleven who? You said you would never forget...

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What do you get when you reverse Zelda's Lullaby ? Skyward Sword's theme.

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Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? Actually it's my cookie jar, and my cookies. I stole nothing.

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why did the hater hate? everyone else has a much better life

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Why was the man upset? Both sides of his pillow were warm.

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Why doesn't McDonald's sell hot dogs? They don't want to advertise for McWeenies.

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Why did the woman come out of the kitchen? She didn't.

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My dad weights 350 lbs. He decided to switch to diet soda.

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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What's awesome that's awesome that squirts out of a bottle? Ketchup What else is awesome that squirts out of a bottle? Mustard

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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