im 14, over weight and spotty! you interested? .... im desperate:)

A man walks in to a bar, Has a drink, and leaves.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm locked in someone's basement, Please help me.

Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- (commits suicide)

What's the worst thing that can go wrong while trying to archieve something you desperately want? -Everything.

An Jewish man worked at a bank, and ate chicken noodles for lunch and then stabbed and man playing the saxophone.

Why was little Johnny crying? He is regularly raped by his father.

I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

An Irish man walks into a bar, and then realizes that he's walked into the wrong establishment (He was looking for an upscale restaurant.)

Doctor, doctor! I think I've got an ear infection. I best give you some medicine.

Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

A man walks into a bar. He hits his head and dies.

What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a mustang? I don't have a mustang in my garage..

Why is 6 so afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered six offender.

The funniest thing happened the other day, it was like one went like this, and the other went like that, and then everyone laughed... ...Oh, its one of those where you would have had to be there to see how funny it was.

Why did the guy go to the store? He really doesn't want you to know every detail of his life.

A pretty funny pick-up line that probably doesn't work: "Hey, do you work at Little Caesar's? Because you're hot and I'm ready.

Knock Knock Who's there? Hitler... Time to go to Aushcwitz

What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "come" on your face.

Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

what's worse than falling and scraping your knee? living within a 10 mile radius of a Japanese nuclear reactor

Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

Why did Suzie get raped? because she was out past her bedtime. and the morale to this story is that its funny to be raped.

what do you get when you have an albino black man, a lesbian middle eastern siamese twin of the female gender, a polygamist indian and a jewish native american? A very cultured and diversified posse of hostages. Take your pick.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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