Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A dancer walks into a barre

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the jew save his money? Because his wife has cancer and the radiation treatments are very expensive.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why is the sky blue? You like men.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

drugs.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red Violets are blue You just lost the game UMAD Bro?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why do people waste time reading these jokes. Because they like anti jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the man say when he lost his car? Where the fuck did my car go

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I met a hot girl in the Tampon aisle and i asked if she wanted to hang out in 5-7 days

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Who's obsessed with death and love to make jokes about it? The majority of the contributors in this site.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.... I hate your guts.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

roses are red, violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow, i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by 2 giant scorpions, a fridge, some potatoes and a hule bunch of worms.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How was breakdancing inventented? From niggas trying to steal hubcaps of moving cars!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops