A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says that there are no dogs allowed, but the man says that he is blind. So the man sits down with his dog and asks for a drink. The bartender decided to check to see if he was really blind, so he says, " Hey, do you know what time it is?" The blind man replies, "7 o'clock," The bartender says, "Ha! You said you were blind! Get out of..." but was interrupted by the man, who promptly said, "No, I'm deaf," and left.

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What happened to the twins? 9/11

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What did the American WWII soldier say to the Feudal-era samurai? Nothing, because the two lived on completely different continents and in completely different time periods.

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A man walks up to his boss and asks "Do you want to hear a funny joke?". His boss replied,"Yes". Before the man could finish his joke, his boss had a heart attack and died instantly. The next day, when he's in his car with his wife, he asks "You want to hear a joke?", the wife replied "Sure,". before the man could finish his joke, a car hit them and the wife died but the man happened to survive. The next day, he sat on a bench mourning, his friend walked up to him and asked, "Why are you sad?". the man answered, "Every time I try and tell a joke someone dies!", his friend said, "That's not true, just tell me the joke." "Ok" "Two Pigeons walk into a-". Before he can finish his joke his friends is kidnapped and killed. Sadly, the man walks to a ledge, jumps off and commits suicide. The End

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What's the name of Hellen keller's dog? She doesn't have a dog, she's blind and deaf and would not be able to give it the adequate amount of care. Additionally, it's morally reprehensible to make fun of Helen Keller.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, this is stupid, Violets are purple Violets are purple Oranges are orange Nothin' rhymes with orange wait.... DOORHINGE!!!!! -sincerely, That famous Orange on YouTube

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Watching your mum get sandwiched by two black guys...

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? She had no arms and legs Knock knock Who's there? Not Lucy

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If you know someone with the last name Schmidt. ALWAYS ask him to take a Schmidt on your chest

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Why was Justin Beiber Booed off the stage. Because I spelt his last name incorrectly.

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Your momma's so not fat that when a school bus rolled by here house, she just sat there and turned on oprah.

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Yo momma so fat, when she runs she makes the cd played skip, at the radio station!!!

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Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

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I have a joke Who is better, Kobe or Lebron? Kobe. But I lied, that wasn't a joke.

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What do Grant and Lee have in common? They're both black males

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What do you call a discrase of a living enviorment? African huts there so muddy

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What's bigger than a breadbox? Whitney Houston's coffin.

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When does 1+1=3? When the condom fails.

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3 Women were on a desert Island, This Island was situated in the middle of the Atlantic so there was no hope of survival.

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A bar walked into a bar. Bars can't walk.

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What's worse than the holocaust? nothing it was a terrible act in history

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why did the chicken cross the road? well... to get to the other side.

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How did the boy fall off his bike? A fridge was thrown off him

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Why did the pig cross the yard? Because the helicopter was chasing him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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