can't you hear that TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT, TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT flute (nicki minaj in a past life listening to a symphony)

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How did the failing slut get an A -she studied really hard

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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I like my coffee like i like my women, blonde with big boobs.

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? It depends on how sound is defined

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What does "Fiat" stand for? "Fabbrica Italiana Automobili Torino."

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, He cracked his skull and died on impact. He will be missed.

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why was the little boy sad he found out he had breast cancer

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Why did the kid get a bicycle for his birthday? Cause his father is a respectable parent who loves his child.

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why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

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"Knock-knock." "Come in, sorry that the doorbell is broken."

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how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, he found his tractor and went back to work.

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Three men were lost in a desert when a genie appeared and granted them each a wish. they died of dehydration shortly afterward, never realizing they were hallucinating.

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Two men walk into a bar. The first man says to the bartender "I'd like some h2o". The second man says "I'd like some h2o to". The second man died.

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Why are Indians so bad at football? Curry

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What did the man say to the ugly woman? Your face makes my penis soft.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Whatever their names happen to be.

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Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

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There are 2 black guys in a car. Who's driving? The police.

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What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

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Are you kidding? If you can slow down time when stressed, then that means that your perception of time is, well... Oh relative, but still wow! What about now though? Can you do it? And for curiosity`s sake, what if you jumped off a roof? Would the stress make it all really slow?

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What do you get when you cross Dracula and a snowman. Probably a little startled from the man's Dracula costume and a little chilly because the weather is cold enough to support a snowman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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