What are the biggest ants in the world? Ants under a magnifying glass.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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NEVER

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

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How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage in my hand.

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A tall German man and a short Ukrainian woman walk into a pub and sit down for a drink. The German, not wanting to seem rude, asks the Ukrainian how her day has been. The Ukrainian smiles confusedly as she doesn't understand German.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dead one.

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what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

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Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

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So, a Bobcat walks into a bar. A few moments later, the bar was empty, save a bobcat and two critically wounded men.

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Why did the asain fail his tests? They weren't math tests...

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What can bankrupt people buy? Free stuff.

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What did the penis say to the vagina during intercourse? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

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What did the blonde do when she reached the traffic lights? She stopped, as the lights were red.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

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how do you make a baby cry? put a nail through its foot

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Wanna hear a joke? Zeke friends Wanna hear a better jokes? Zeke with his friends

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my penis

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Q: What used to be black, and then became white, and touches young boys? A: Michael Jackson.

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

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What's smelly and Dirty? Someone who hasn't shower in a reasonably long time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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