What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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A guy walks into a bar. But this was a bar like a pole, so the man ended up with a broken nose.

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What do you say to a homeless man sat in a train station? That there is a homeless shelter around the corner.

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I'm so stupid that I'm posting on Anti Jokes!

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A woman was in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband. Shortly after she brings the sandwich to him and he thanks her seeing as his disabled legs prevent him from walking to the kitchen and making one himself. His wife later heads to her job as a firefighter.

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In what way are a pile of deceased children and a Ferrari F430 similar? Neither can be found in my garage, nor anywhere under my possession. As for the Ferrari, this is an unfortunate truth. Due to Ferraris' high level of desirability, and to their low supply, the cost of one such car is much more than an average person can afford. As for the pile of deceased children, anyone in possesion (for lack of a better term, as one can not truly possess another human being, even post mortem) of such a grotesque thing is probably too sick and twisted to be submitting jokes with no apparent climax in hopes of stimulating the minds of the joke's readers sense of humor.

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What did the boy with no legs get? A treadmill.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychological disorder.

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Why did the Alzheimer's patient fail the history exam? I don't remember.....

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A: What dose God listen to? B: Slayer. A: Trick Question, God=Slayer

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Q: Why is eminem such a good rapper? A: well if you want to know its becuase he had a bad childhood experience and and needed some money so he put hard work and dedication into rapping.

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Q: What do you call an exact duplicate of Homer Simpson who's been enhanced with numerous special powers and a strength-boosting inducer among other beneficial additions? A: A mobidly overweigth individual who hasn't realized what the phrase, "Go on a diet", even denotes/implies.

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Q: How do you know what will happen when the world willl end? A: by experience

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Whats worse than finding an actual joke on anti-jokes? A.I.D.S.

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How do you spell orange? O-R-A-N-G-E-U-D-U-M-B-A-S-S

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Your mom's so fat that she is going to contract heart disease by age 30.

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What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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Ask me if I'm a human. Are you a human? Yes.

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Why does the same anti-jokes pop up over and over again? Because people have no creativity.

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Your mamas so fat that she went to the doctor and he said she has a very high case of diabetes so now she's trying to excerise more and watching what she eats.

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Have You Ever Seen Stevie Wonder's New House? No.. Neither Has He.

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How do you get rid of an STD? You give it to someone else.

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Two cows in a field. One said, "Moo!" the other said, "Shit! i was going to say that."

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How are this and that alike? They aren't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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