Why didn't the man go to the movies?? Because he likes pie.

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What happened when the Asian girl got a B on her report card? She committed suicide

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I had a terrible childhood. My mom abandoned me before I was born.

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whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? babies aren't fruit.

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what is black and white and read all over? A penguin in a blender

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A man walks into a bar with a frown on his face His dog just died

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your mom is so fat that she had to start going to a gym to exercise and get her weight under control.

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I am a schizophrenic, so am I.

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What would George Washington do if he was able to talk to all of America? Ask them to dig him up.

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If you call Dani a dog one more time, lick a gooch nut suckers. XoXo Jamie <3

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Why has 8 wheels and costs more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

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What did one dog say to the other? Nothing silly...dogs can't talk.

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? Because he's dead!

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Just kidding, he didn't cross the road, he had no legs.

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Why is it scientifically proven that even Spider-Man would be a match for Superman? Because none exist. Moral: The only Super Hero... not scientifically proven, but I exist so that makes me stronger than both of them!

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What's worse than having AIDS? A piano falling on your left middle finger.

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Why couldn't Bob pick up his pen? Because a nuclear bomb just set off where he lives and it incinerated everything.

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yolo your orange looks orange

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic and so am i

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what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

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knock knock whose there? you have AIDS

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What did the homeless kid get for Christmas? Hypothermia.

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Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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