What do you call it when a plane crashes into a school? A terrible accident.

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why barack obama sad he realized the 4 trillion dollars of debt wasn't going be solved by borrowing more money

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what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

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What did the pineapple say to the apple? Nothing, neither can speak.

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How much does a dead battery cost? Nothing, it's free of charge.

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how do you make Will Smith cry? cut off his toes and fingers.

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WHART++EWEEEEEEEP FLARPEN CARPEN FLARP

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what is the difference between a puppy and a baby... ...they are different animals

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Why did Santa die? Because he got diabetes from so many cookies

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What did Billy get his dad for Father's day? Nothing, his dad was killed by a spinning helicopter blade when Billy was 3.

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Mr. Krabs lives in bikini bottom (pinch pinch)

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What is worse than being paralyzed from the neck down Nothing

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So Superman walks into a bar right, WRONG, Superman flies into bar

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Poop

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Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Anal

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Why was the black guy sad? Because he has a knife through his throat

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3 guys are walking in the woods there are 3 paths they each take a path. the first path lead to a shed that said blowjobs 25 cents the second path lead to the same place after they all made it threw the first guy said he got a blowjob so dose the second guy. the third guy said i made 50 cents

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Why did James drop his ice-cream? He was mourning the loss of his mother to terminal illness so he threw himself in front of a train.

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Whats from Hattersley? Someone who lives in Hattersley.

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What's the difference between a dead black man in the road, and a dead dog in the road? One is a human being that probably leaves behind family and friends that will miss his absence. The other is an animal that will also be missed, but to a lesser degree since dogs don't form a bond with people other than the family it shared its life with. In either of the two cases, if I witnessed the accident that caused the death, I would promptly notify the authorities so as to make sure that the driver of the vehicle that hit them would be subjected to a breathalyzer test.

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You decide, drink or drive. But don't do all 3 at the same time.

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 17

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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