How do you teach a blond how to cook? You give her a cookbook, a kitchen, and maybe turn Paula Dean's show on.

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Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

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Ask me if I'm a grapefruit. -Are u a grapefruit? NO!

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why was 14 scared of 15? 7-8-9

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Which is heavier, a tonne of feathers or a tonne of lead? It doesn't matter when your loved ones are being torn apart by bears.

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What did the boy say to his father? I don't know. With the seemingly infinite number of topics that two people could discuss and the fact that both the father and son are fictional, it would be unreasonable and border edge mentally unstable for me to assume that you would know what they may or may not be talking about.

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You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

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Three men walk into a bar, one ducks and two fall down. What happened? They walked into a metal bar, like a sideways flagpole!

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Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name ia not Mark.

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Me - Ask me if I am a Frog. You - Are you a Frog? Me - No.

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A bar walked into a bar. To get to the other horse.

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What did the banana say to the apple? We're fruity.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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My dog poops u pick it up if i poop ill say f@#% you eat it DumbS%^&

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How do you scare a lawyer? Threaten to kill his family.

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How do you get through a locked door? Unlock it.

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A man walks into a bar. He then takes a step back and notices that his head hurts.

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why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was taped to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? it didn't

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What do you do when a burglar breaks into your house and tries to kill and rape you and you family? Nothing, he as an AK-47 and shoots you all dead and then has sex with your corpses.

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Why did sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by an 18 wheeler Knock knock Whos there not sally

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Whats the difference between a black man and a paraplegic? A paraplegic doesn't walk out on his family

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS

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What sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler.

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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