you know why they're called ear wigs, right? cause they go in your ears! then they wig out? no, they kill you.

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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Jerry Sandusky walks into an Under 21

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Did you hear about the comedian cereal killer?...He raped his victims before strangling them to death.

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Whats bent but straight for danielle? Joseph Plummer

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why'd the Chinese kid die how the hell should i now

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4 score and 7 years ago was 1965

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Whats more funny than 1 bomb on 8 babies? 8 bombs on 1 baby.

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what kind of mexicans are NOT in the U.S. -legal

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Why doesn't McDonald's sell hot dogs? They don't want to advertise for McWeenies.

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a man decided to climb a tree. he got to the top,raised his arms above his head and said "I am on top of the world ". after that he fell because he was not holding on to anything

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How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

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Why did Jimmy fall over? Jimmy was hit by a bus.

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Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first polar bear says, "Pass the soap." The second polar bear replies, "No soap, radio." OMG YOU DON'T GET IT?!?!?!?! NOOB

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Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

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a blind person walks into a deaf person and the deaf person says "dadadader"

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Q: Why do only 10% of women go to heaven? Your question is fundamentally wrong. Religion is a collective hallucination.

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Why did the girl throw the clock out of the window? The clock was broken, and it was the only valuable object in her possession.

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KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

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What is white, average height and cannot jump as high as a black man? A fridge.

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A door walks up with a knob what does the guy do? he opens the door

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What was the women doing out of the kitchen? Watching the movie 'Birth of a Nation' at her father's house

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What do you call a zebra eating Cheerios? A zebra eating Cheerios.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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