Why was the drunk man arrested? he beat his wife and was sentenced too 3 months in federal prison

A black man texts his wife to tell her that he is going to be late coming home from work.....Just kidding, pay phones cannot send text messages.

How do you piss of camon? Have sex with shelby!

A dog walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer The barman replies : Woof Woof

how many baby's does it take to paint a wall?? depends how hard u throw them

A blonde heard that 90% of all crimes occur within a one-mile radius of the home, so she had a security alarm installed.

It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave

what did Charlie Sheen say after he won a game of chess? I just won a game of chess!

Two lifelong friends walk into the locl Bar and each order a Beer. " So how's life treating ya?" Phil replies, " Well Doug, I've got Stage Four Lung Cancer. I'm going to Die, remember?" Unfortunately, Doug doesn't remember because Doug has a Brain Tumor.

Whites black white and red all over? The nazi flag.

What do you call an asian that is black? Please tell me, I was asking a question.

What do you call a teenager who cant add? A Total Failure

Roses are black Violets are black Oh fuck I'm blind!

Oooh. That fish smells delicious.

What do you call a dog with no legs? A seal.

An indian boy asked his Dad,'Why do we have such long names?' His father didn't reply, he died on the road home.

so a man walks into a bar and Cancer

A rabbi walks into a bar mitzwa.

Why do all asians all look alike? Because they do.

why did the blonde put on a coat? because she was cold.

Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

What do you call a black man who lands on the moon? An astronaut...f*cking racist.

A thief walks into a bank. He has an account there and withdraws 200 bucks.

So, a Vulcan walks into a bar... and he doesn't say anything, because Vulcan's suppress their emotions.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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