what do you call a man that is hurt? A: you call him an ambulanse

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Why was the tree sad? Because a bird shat on it.

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People really hate it when sentenses don't end the way elephants wear hats

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Dad, why do people say mom is a nympho? No idea son, try asking one of your other dads.

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What do you call five gay men walking in the same direction? I don't know the usual human does not take note of such circumstance.

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Q What did Stevens mum say when he asked to be an astronaut A no your heads too big

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He believed pedestrians had the right

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Whats worse than standing on lego? Rebecca black. whats worse than Rebecca Black? Justin Bieber. Whats worse than justin Bieber? Standing on a baby that isnt yours.

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A raptor and a Tyrannosaurus Rex walk into a bar. Everyone runs for their lives as the dinosaurs ate everyone who was too slow.

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Why did the girl trip in the middle of the street? She tripped over the kid who dropped his ice cream because he got hit by a bus.

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When does a cat not land on its feet? When it lands on its back.

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Why was the black man running down the street with a suitcase? He was late for work.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's witness Damn...

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What did the boy who was in a chainsaw accident yell to his mom when he was on a rollercoaster? Look ma, no hands!

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What does NASCAR stand for? Non-athletic sport centered around rednecks.

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How do you drown a black? - pop their lips

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"Knock, Knock." "Who's There?" "Banana."

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What is worse than ten babies in the street, eleven babies in the street.

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What do you call a boomerang that wont come back? Broken.

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why did the plane crash?.............the pilot was a tomato

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We was all sat down at the table ready to eat then Gary must've said something to Lucy because she just burst into tears and left the table.

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What do u call 30000 Mexicans rolling Dow a hill. Hahaha your mom

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What do Kurt Cobain and a whale have in common? Both have holes in the back of their heads

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops