A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and its killing his family.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whroe whore whore whore whroe

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why was the little boy crying? He had dead mice shoved up his asshole.

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A man walks into a restaurant and asks a waiter, "Do you serve crabs here?" The waiter says, "Certainly! In fact, stuffed crab is today's special."

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What's worse than finding a worm on your apple? Trench foot on your eyebrow.

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A boy spelled the word "banana" wrong on a spelling test... Points were deducted.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. At what point would a chicken consciously know it was crossing a road.

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What do call a man with a daranged wife? Married

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What is terrible and doesn't exist? This joke's punchline,

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Where did the kid go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere

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what's the difference between a duck? You can't wash a window with a brick.

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Who doesn't love finding money in your pocket when you go to put your pants on? a rape victim

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A German, an Irishman, a Mexican and a Texan are flying together on an airplane over the ocean. When the plane begins to experience engine trouble, they find that there is only one parachute for the four of them! Through an amazing display of flying skill, however, the pilot is able to complete the flight and land safely.

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What's worse than tripping over your shoelace? Watching your mother get her tits cut off with a chainsaw then getting ripped apart and eaten alive by cannibals

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what happened to the slut last time she opened her legs. a bee flew in and stung her. turned out she was deathly allergic. she died a painful death.

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Q: whats funnier than watching a black man and a midget fight? A: anything technically, your opinion

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A dog walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer The barman replies : Woof Woof

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Q. What do you call an average middle-aged white man who walks into a bar and asks for a drink? A. Not a very funny joke

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's hard to tell, but i could really use a cigarette.

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Why didn't suzzana go to school on Monday?? Because it was Sunday...I lied about it being monday

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Why did the vulture cross the road? To get to the pile of dead babies left over from the Holocaust.

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Why does it get hot after a basketball game? Because of the crowd all breathing out carbon dioxide and the high level of activity generating excess body heat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops