What is the fastest bird in air? NONE WHO NEEDS TO RIDE BIRDS WHEN YOU HAVE AIROPLANES!!!!

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm really drunk so show me your tits.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? X box Kinect

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What do you call Madeline McCann at the bottom of the sea? Drowned Madeline McCann.

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What is worse then rain on your wedding day? Getting married.

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Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

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What is better than one wors roll - two wors rolls

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why didnt the black guy die on the bus fire? The fire was in the front of the bus!

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Why was the cookie sad? It had just been eaten and is currently disintegrating in the hydrochloric acid of someones stomach.

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How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

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ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ now I know my ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ no I know my ABC etc:

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What is black and hangs on a rope next to a rebel flag in my back yard? A tire swing for my redneck kids to swing on.

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Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

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Yo momma's so hot I raped her and slit her throat afterwards and hid her body in a ditch.

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A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

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What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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Why couldn't the hobo buy any clothes? They did not have his size available.

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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What do you get when you cross a moose with a crépe? A moose with a crépe up his nose. -ilikecrepes97

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toby limbers is gonna follow in his uncles footsteps, the gay ones

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How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen Beatle? Two in the front, two in the back, and one hundred in the ash tray.

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If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

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Puns are terrible. I love them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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