How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

What did the dinosaur say to the caveman? Nothing. Dinosaurs were wiped off the earth due to a tragic, world wide extinction about 65 million years ago while small mammals which would eventually evolve into humans survived.

what is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Okay

Who wants water? I do.

Yo mama so fat, her Patronus is a cake.

What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken

What do you get when you cross a penis with a dinosaur? A dicklodocus.

why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

a blond readhead and a brunnett were driving to Miami, they saw a sign for next exit Miami, turned off the exit went to the beach did some shopping and all had a great time together.

Q:What did the boy do when his girlfriend cheated on him? A:He broke up with her because cheating is wrong and he deserves better.

What is green and red all over? A christmas tree that is internally bleading.

Q: What do you call a gay dinosaur? A: Mega-saur-ass

What do you call a fish without an eye? A fsh

How do you acquire a bomb? Go to the bomb store.

that wall over there ->

What is the difference between a duck? None! One of their legs are both the same.

Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

What did robin say to batman before they got I the car........ Get in the car.

Why do Asians get 50% off on movies? They don't.

A guy punched himself. He then said ouch.

Do you know what the worst part about inbreeding is? - It's runs in the family!

Why did the man feel like he was flying? Because he had just committed suicide by jumping off of a tall building.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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