so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

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What's 9 + 10 19 AB

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a chicken and was probably not aware that it was walking across a road at all, especially considering that it was likely in a low-traffic rural area.

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Wanna know what I don't get? I was gonna say yo face, but that would be mean.

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What do black people eat? What everyone else does!

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Why do white people drive big trucks? 'Cause they can afford it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a car ran him over.

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What did the bolt say to the wall?? nothing ,they just screwed.

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Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? ... To get to the bottom.

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Death by kayak

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Why were 5 tall white guys sitting on a bench? They were in the NBA

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When it comes ro the zodiac my grandmother was a cancer and... She ws killed by... A giant crab

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Q: why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: He had no arms Q: Why couldn't he get up? A: He died when he hit the ground

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Ask me if I want an orange. Do you want an orange? No.

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A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

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http://www.booksie.com/declan_mckimm

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Two guys fight over a girl. The girl gets up from under them.

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Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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A horse walks into a bar, prompting the show-jumping judges to subtract points for failing to clear the obstacle.

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How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

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what did Stan say to Dave? nothing, Dave died 500 years before Stan was born, thus he said nothing.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

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What's green and has wheels? The White House. I lied about everything, I'm so sorry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops