What do u call a matthew vasquez with a guitar, a one man mariachi band... cuz he is mexican

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PLEASE DONT READ THIS OR YOU'LL BE DIED IF YOU DONT THUMBS UP THIS LIKE POST THIS ON 20 MESSAGES OR YOU'RE BEST MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR LIFE WITHIN THE NEXT 7 DAYS

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Why did silly Miss Sally put her baby in the dishwasher? Because she was suffering from advanced stages of Schizophrenia. She thought that her baby was a dish. Her mother, Carol watched in horror as her granddaughter was placed inside. A tear dribbled from her eye. Things had been bad, but because Sally was her daughter, she had been tolerant. Carol sobbed as the baby screamed in terror, unable to escape. Finally, Carol, tears in her eyes, called Child Protective Services on her own daughter, something she didn't want to do. When CPS representatives finally came, they were horrified at the sight of a screaming baby covered in suds with burnt skin that had been scorched by hot jets. Sally's baby, Alex was taken from her and put into foster care.

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What separates man from animal? Divorce.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Q. What did the dead man do after he died? A. Nothing. He's dead.

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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What's worse than opening your pantry door and finding nothing desirable to eat? Repeated high voltage electrical shocks to the anus.

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are potentially dangerous weapons that may inflict bodily harm.

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Daughter: Dad I have some news for you Dad: What is it? Daughter: I am pregnant Dad: ... I am so happy I am going to have a grandson, my 27 year old daughter just married and now pregnant, this is a great day!

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whats the difference between samios and a dog? Nothing.

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A man walks into a bar he orders a drink

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How many babies can you fit in an oven? Depends how hungry you are.

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Help, this is an urgent message from the S.S. Obesity. We're sinking; I can't imagine why.

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What is a chicken? Because 7, 8, 9.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

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What happens when you cut down a tree? It falls over.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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No, Sarah. You know your hooks scratch the keys.

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What's silent but deadly? A baby falling from a 10 story building

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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Yo mamma's so fat she attracts other matter with a force proportional to the product of their masses divided by the square of the distance.

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How come the bartender didnt let the black guys in the bar Because the bar was closed.noone was aloud in the bar

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? Because she is enjoying the meal her husband has prepared for her after a long day at her second full-time job of the day

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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