What did the orange say to the lemon? "Hello"

What did the schoolgirl say to some of the people of Anti-Joke.com? You're sick. Stop talking about the Holocaust.

My Nan, that is all.

2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

what do grown up's do at night when everyone lese is asleep? Go to sleep as well

What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving? The taxi driver.

What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

Q. What did the girl on drugs get for Easter? A. Down Syndromes Disease.

Why did the man not get his licence He was blind

Why did Jim not go to the park and play football with his Dad today? His dad got hit by a bus and lost his legs

why did the girl stop laughing? there was nothing to laugh about.

What do you call a blind guy in a library? Kevin. Unless his name isn't Kevin.

Two men walk into a bar. The first man says to the bartender "I'd like some h2o". The second man says "I'd like some h2o to". The second man died.

What does Steven Hawking and Justin Bieber have in common? Absolutely nothing.

Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

whats orange and cant talk? an orange

How does a dyslexic person read the word 'schitzophrenia'? Schitzophrenia. I leid abuot teh dyslxeia.

can't you hear that TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT, TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT flute (nicki minaj in a past life listening to a symphony)

You know what sucks? A vacuum.

Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the cupboard cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

Whats the best part about having sex with 25 year olds? There 20 of them.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...