What's blue and can't read? The Pacific Ocean

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A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

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Knock Knock Who's there Kevin Kevin who Kevin your friend dumbass

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Women's rights.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing hide and seek with Dennis Ferguson

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Call of Duty Infinite Warfare

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If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

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knock knock Dave's not here.

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Q) What do you get when you cross a brown chicken with a brown cow? A) An abomination

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Where is boots, Dora asks Why the hell are you asking me when your the one who is with him.

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But that just reinforces the negative stereotype that women don't have penises.

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Q: What do you get when you cross Rebecca Black and a day of the week. A: a stupid song called FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

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ms caissie is secretly laughing at these...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

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I am green. You are blue. Jokes are infinite. This is too.

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Are you kidding? If you can slow down time when stressed, then that means that your perception of time is, well... Oh relative, but still wow! What about now though? Can you do it? And for curiosity`s sake, what if you jumped off a roof? Would the stress make it all really slow?

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Yo mamma's so stupid, she couldn't get a high paying job and had to settle for working full time at McDonalds, just to get your family through the week.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

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What is orange and smells like oranges? Oranges.

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Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops