- Anti Joke

Knock knock! Who's there? Girl Scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

Why did the boy fall of his bike? He's learning to ride and understandably lost his balance.

Why did the all black baseball team beat the all white baseball team? Because the black team scored more runs than the white team.

A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken a month off from working in their law firm. The mexican man, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

What's worse than a work in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Seeing the same joke repeated thousands of times on anti-joke.com.

a black guy, a white guy, and an asian guy walked into a bar. It was an interracial bar, and served men and women of all nationalities.

Q: what did the grandmother give to her grandson. A: a lightbulb

So a man walks into a bar, right?

Is this the Krusty Krab? Nope, Chuck Testa.

Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

What is worse then falling into a lava pit? Nothing you idiot.

What has two legs? Half a cat

knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

What's the difference between a lamp?

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. John runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

Why did the cookie shader Because someone dropped it

What hurts more than a bee sting? Child birth.

What is the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is a piece of wood, while the black man is a human being.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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