Why did Humpty Dumpty fall off the wall? The wall was unstable and not to be sat on.

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There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

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Why didn't Jacob marry Bella from Twilight? You have to be real to marry someone

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a black man has a shotgun. having an IQ of 11 he shot his hands off

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What did God say to Abraham? Nothing, because God doesn't exist.

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It's raining, its pouring, the old man is snoring. He bumps his head, and is quickly rushed to the ER for serious head trauma

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Some black guy grabs a white guys wallet. the black guy says " hey I think you dropped this"

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whats big and can vibrate after you turn it on? A washing machine.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i know where you live now I'm coming for you

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What separates man from animal? Divorce.

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What would Hellen Keller say to Obama? Nothing she can't speak.

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Why are leprechauns so happy? The grass tickles their balls

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why are there so many homeless asians with squinty eyes, they cant find their way back home

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Q: Why were there four married men in one room without their pants on? A: because it was the mens bathroom.

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Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because the paint used on their faces makes the extra terrestrials leery of lead poisoning.

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I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

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When SCUBA diving, why is it important to fall backward off the side of the boat? Because if you fell forward, you would still be in the boat.

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Knock Knock. READ THE DAMN SIGN IT SAYS NO SOLICITORS!!! ... yeah.

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Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them, they die.

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Yo mama's so fat that she needs substantially larger clothes than most other people

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What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

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Why was Jimmy so bad at jumping rope? His father's car ran over an IED back in 2009. Jimmy had lost his legs in a tragic explosion.

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i am not a pothead!!! the only time ive evr been high was springbreak last year!!! mm hmm... wat were u doin over spring break to get high? i had jaw surgery and the doctor had me on tons of painkillers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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