A man walks into an exam room for a doctor's appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

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Why is Jesse so fat? A horse, Because a cow gives milk thus creating pee wee Herman to jack off at an astonishing speed

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Why doesn't Batman exist? Because he was made up.

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To men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

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An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? Nothing, it didn't get stuck in the first place because cows are incapable of climbing trees.

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A black man logs on to facebook. He checks his news feed then logs off

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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What's the best way to toss a salad? With a salad spinner from the home shopping network.

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What do you hear when you put your foot on a man's ear? A man saying, "WTF are you doing?!"

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what's black and hangs from a tree in my garden? a blackberry

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Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

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a fat kid walked up to me today at school and claimed he could do more pull ups than i. i found this very funny because i have known this boy since i was two months old, and he witnessed the day where i lost both of my arms to cancer.

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If Spongebob lives in Bikini Bottom, Where is Bikini Top?

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When does the Narwhal bacon? The Narwhal bacons at mid-night.

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Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

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Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

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Why is my grandpa always so grumpy? Because he has diabetes and life is very difficult for him.

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What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

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what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

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A blonde takes a math test it says find x? She circles x and puts there it is!

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Why did the student fail his test? He forget to study for it the night before.

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Your legs are more open than my back door! Which is closed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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