What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting stabbed.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic and so am i

What looks like a horse, but smells and has feathers? A dead horse with a pidgeon in its ass.

What did the cop say to his belly? "Hey in there!"

One day 2 people were gonna fight after school and the final bell wrung then they started the mtch and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing that you say when you don't want to fight and ypu let the other person win?" The other guy says, "I give up?" Then the challenger says, " I WIN!!!"

What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? What do you mean what's the difference?!?! One of them is a fucking elephant!

Whats worse than getting hit in the face with an axe? Getting hit in the face with two axes.

What do you get when you mix a donkey with a bungee cord? My bouncy ass

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

What's worse than missing your flight? 9/11

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being brutally murdered as you are watching your guts spilling out of your body

you see theres this guy.

What is a hammer? It's not a screwdriver

Why did they bury the fireman at the side of the hill? Because he was dead

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

What do you call a dear with no eyes? A no-idear

Why can't Anne Frank write a sequel? Because she's dead.

Doesn't matter, had sex. Except for the STD's I possibly contracted.

Why didnt the boy go to school the next day? Because he killed himself due to bullying

why did the mexican steal the money? because he was financially struggling and needed the money to support his family

Oooh. That fish smells delicious.

what do you call a man who likes other men? A fag

3 black guys are in the back of a car. Who is driving? A taxi driver

Neither have I, nobody knew him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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