What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing. The ocean is inanimate and therefore incapable of speech.

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What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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Hey, wanna here a dirty joke? A pig fell in mud.

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Why did everyone die in the world? Its 2012.

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Man: Excuse me sir, is this where I turn in my library book? Farmer: You must be really lost, this is a farm.

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Why was the little girl sad? She had a grown man sexually assault her.

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I remember my first beer. It did not taste good to me at the time.

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Why couldn't the boy with no arms and no Legs swim? Because he was black.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, because they weren't made. Cupcakes were made instead. Sorry, Muffins.

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. Coincidentally, it was also Tuesday.

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What's the difference between katchup and musterd A very long list of things that I don't want to read

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What do you call something that shoots out a white gooey liquid? A shampoo bottle

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How do you confuse a terrorist? Speak another language other than Arabic

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What do you get if you put 2 Korea, 2 Europeans and 2 North Americans together? TSM

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what do you call a cow with no legs? ground BEEF!!!!

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Your mother is so fat, she is at great risk for developing diabetes mellitus type 2.

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Why did the boy let the falling brick hit him in the head? He had no legs, so he could not move

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How do you find a jew amoung italians? Through a dollar and see which one whines its not enough!

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A man walks into a bar, he purchases a drink from the barman proceeds to finish the drink and then leaves.

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Do you want to hear a joke? Well you can't because you are reading this

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What did the boyfriend ask his girlfriend for on his birthday? Pokemon Yellow version.

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What's round, has two hands, and tells time? Some fat guy I know, with a watch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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