Why did the chicken cross the road? Doesn't matter. He was hit by a semi truck.

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Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? People that make dead baby jokes.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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knock knock whos there? i dont know arent you supposed to get the door?

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So a man and his wife were in a horrible car accident. The man died, so why isn't the wife mourning his death? Because she is also dead. But, do you know who did mourn and cry over this horrible tragedy? Their children, other family members, and friends.

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Why didn't the condemned man seek a reprieve of his execution? He forgot.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What did the Christian say to the atheist? "Even though we don't share the same beliefs, I think it's great that we can still be good friends."

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Q: Why did the mugger kill the bus driver? A: Because he had a gun.

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What's black and has ne education? A tire.

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What do you call a Jewish dinosaur? Fossil Fuel

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Whats worse than ten babies stapled to a tree? One baby stapled to ten trees.

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What has four legs and rocks? Your baby kitten that just got stoned to death.

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Q: What's worse than ten babies stapled to one tree? A: One baby stapled to ten trees.

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Why did the boy die while brushing his teeth? The toothbrush wasn't water-proof.

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What's greenish blue, smelly, and mushy? The fungus under my sink.

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some dude: weed is bad Other dude: then why do they prescribe it to people are you dumb or are you stupid

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Jesse is so fat that Roy is jealous of his big ass tits

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

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Why was the ghast from minecraft crying? His family died

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What did the man say to his wife. Hi

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What's Hitler's favorite drink? Jews (meaning juice)

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Paris Hilton spend 2 whole days in the slammer due to possesion of narcotics. I would have gotten 20 to life... no... it's not funny...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops