Why was billy sad? He was being brutally hacked to peices behind his garage

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Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

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how do you confuse a blonde do nothing

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Ehh

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roses are red violents are blue your dad is gay soon it all be you !

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Do you know what would happen if Hitler was still alive today. Nothing he's not.

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How many Mexicans eating a Taco in California does it take to fix a lightbulb? 1

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the teacher enters the room she sits in her chair and yells, "i am your substitute teacher. get out your books and write me a story."

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What is worse then a bus driver A man who drives an ice cream truck

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How many blonds does it take to screw in a light bulb? ... It shouldn't take anymore than one person to do this job, regardless of there hair color.

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Why did the boat sink I shot a missile at it

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by your great grandma

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Whats worse than cutting yourself with scissors? Being forced into a blender by your baby's ghost.

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What do you call it when a cigarette is brown instead of white? A cigarette that is or has been damp so that the nicotine was able to bleed into the paper and dye it.

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THAT'S RIGHT, BEST INVISIBLE PAINT I EVER BOUGHT. LOOK WHAT A GREAT JOB IT DID ON THIS PAGE YEAH! I RECKON IT IS THE BEST INVISIBLE PAINT I EVER DIDN'T SEE

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to compromise his health and career

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What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

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Your momma's so stupid that she might not have graduated from high school, ceasing her ability to have an educated job. Now, she makes minimum wage and can barely feed her son.

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What do you call a horse with a missing leg Calling it names could be considered animal abuse and should be reported immediately

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Q: Why couldn't Billy breathe? A: Because when the truck ran over him his lungs were crushed.

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What is white and flys at you from a tree? A refridgarator. I lied about the flying part.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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When life hands you lemons you can't make lemonade, Sugar and Water are two other key ingredients that were not included with the lemons.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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