how do you make a cripple depressed? stairs..

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fridge

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Roses are red Violets are blue Carnations are cheap and they will not get you a blow job.

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I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do you call something green and fuzzy? Grass, I lied about the fuziness.

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roses are red poo is poo

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What do you call a piece of Swiss cheese with human characteristics? Abnormal.

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Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? Three bee stings. Whats worse than three bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Four bee stings.

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whats white and sticky? a white stick

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If monkeys ate trees, than what would trees be made out of? No one knows because that will never happen.

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What do you call a black man with a gun a soldier who is fighting for his country

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A white man, a black man, and a brown man are all in an elevator. The white man laughs "this is like the start to a racist joke or something." The other two men strangle him because he is white.

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What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

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What's the difference between sand and menstral blood? I can't gargle sand

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hey, I like your shirt.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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how many black people does it take to complete the simplest task such as washing their own hair? A shitload! thats why slavery was so populer back in the day. (and gays were big then to because they had to shower together to remember to wash their hair.)

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What's better than finding a $5.00 bill on the floor? Finding the person who actually owns it.

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Question to make it sound like a racist joke? Politically correct answer that should not offend anyone.

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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