How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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A Mexican and a black man are in a car. Who's driving? The black man, because he was the designated driver for the night and was being helped by his good friend, Paco the Mexican, to quit his alcohol addiction. The AA meetings and rehab clininc were failing and he had lost his job. Jamaal, the black man, is now attending night school and holding down a part-time job at his local Baha Fresh. paco is very proud of him.

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What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

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What did the little asian boy get for his birthday? To work for minimun wage making high quality shoes for greedy white people in North America who dont care about anybody but themselves.

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A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

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What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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Q. why did the girl fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms.

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You know how they say cats have nine lives? They don't.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? You shouldn't call him anything. He needs help. -Tag

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What did Timmy's mom think of his art project? Nothing, she screamed and called an ambulance because she saw that he had tripped and fallin onto a pair of scissors and they just so happened to peirce his heart.

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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What's wet and pink? Bubblegum!

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What does an orange and a lemon have in common? They are both orange, exept lemon

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I'm called the! no i wish am I left

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boling water: why is it taking so long for you to get hard? egg: sorry, it's just because i recently got laid by a chick.

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Q: What happens when Lisa drops an iPad? A: She plays Desperado on the sax.

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Do you know what the worst part about inbreeding is? - It's runs in the family!

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob What do you call that same kid when he's at your doorstep? Matt What do you call that same kid when he's hanging in your room? I don't know, but you should stop calling him names.

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Why was the Mexican in the back of a pick up truck? There were not any available seats.

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Whats the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? The Porsche isn't in my garage

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. The Clouds are white. Thank God I am too.

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Did you hear the one about the koala bear that fell out of the tree? Yeah it died.

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Whats funnier than a guy in a wheelchair? A guy on the floor squirming to get back in his wheelchair.

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Knock knock (who's there) Orange ( orange who) orange you glad to see

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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