why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

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A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

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what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

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What did the retarded handicap say to the bully who called him the biggest retard in the world? "atleast I didn't make SOPA"

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Why did the jewish family move? Their house burnt down. They lost everything and was tragic

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What do you get when a black man crosses a white man on the street? A black man and a white man on the street..

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Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

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A blonde dies Lololol

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I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. But it wasn't actually getting bigger, it was just getting closer. So I got hit in the face.

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When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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You know your in Houston when... The highway sign says so.

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There is a mom a dad and a son, they walk into the museum and the dad is in the bathroom.

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See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

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2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

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i'm here at a school my friend is eats a pool fuck yeh

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Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

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How do you kill a black man wearing a bullet proof turbin? Shoot him anywere other then his turbin.

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like most people my age. im 27

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

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A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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