What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

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Two black guys were walking down a street to meet up a local drug dealer. Turns out the black guys were undercover cops who arrested the drug dealer and both recieved awards for finding the criminal.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it looked both ways and saw no cars coming.

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But that just reinforces the negative stereotype that women don't have penises.

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Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

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Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

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whats better than a girl getting hit by a car? a girl getting hit by a car with my dick in her

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Q. What's yellow and looks like a duck? A. a baby duck

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Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Roses are red Violets are red Bushes are red Why's my garden on fire?

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What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

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What do you call a blind guy in a library? Kevin. Unless his name isn't Kevin.

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There not the girl

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops