"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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What do you call a fat jew? A person that most likely has an eating problem and needs to seek help from the nearest rabbi

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So this drunk guy pokes this girl. 4 months later she has a misscarrage

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... You mom's a wh0re.

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What do you call a piece of Swiss cheese with human characteristics? Abnormal.

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What did the award-winning physicist say to the community college graduate? I'll have Chicken McNuggets please.

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What's worst that cancer? Murder porn

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What do democrats and fire have in common? They both do damage

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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Why couldn't the blond get into the library? Because the library was closed therefore the door was locked.

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Why did the chicken cross the road??? Suicide.

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A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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What do you call a black man that is on fire? A Man on Fire. The fact that he is black has no relevance in this situation.

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Q: Whats worse then a minor fender bender A: Dieing a long painful death by getting stabbed 27 times then getting hit by a car and laying on the side of the rode for 2 hours then you find out that your wife was cheating on you with her your own brouther

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A duck walked up to a lemonade stand. The owner of the stand marveled at how close such an adorable duck was to him and proceeded to sell lemonade undisturbed.

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I agree Nero, we agree there, but let me ask you, why did you have the deep desire to create such a society before? You managed to do so as a teen, you wanted to help others, you put them before yourself, you where far more loyal to them, than they ever where to you. What motivated you then to sacrifice so much, where is that strength today?

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A black guy, a Jew and a Mexican walked into a bar...so I didn't....not because of their race but because I had already spent all of my money at the gay bar.

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Q) What did one chicken say to the other? A) Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

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What's the best way to piss off a feminist? R@pe her.

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A thief walks into a bank. He has an account there and withdraws 200 bucks.

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Did you hear the one about the spoon and the dis running away while the cow jumped over the moon, IMPOSSIBLE! eating material such as the spoon and dish are inanimate objects, and cows cant jump for they weigh from 600 to 1000 lbs.

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Your mother is so fat because she inherited poor genes and dietary habits from her own parents.

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B=boy G=girl B:hey i got a good nock nock joke but you have to start it G:okay nock nock B:whos there?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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