My girlfriend told me I couldn't satisfy her sexually. I told her she was beautiful and gave her flowers.

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the person who wrote 1 under me is gay

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A Rabbi walks into a bar. He does not order any alcoholic beverages, because Orthodox Jews aren't allowed to consume alcohol except for certain times and religious customs.

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Wow Nero, you never explained the process, its like I am at the ocean again, but dont lie, you still fear showers... Sorry its just not you when you lie to me, I know I should be more concerned about you, ill bring those old stuff, im tired, sleepy, I suppose thats your work huh Nero? Thanks, call it as a brother or what you want, but I really love you and wont ever stop doing so. Goodnight Nerochan, promise me you will take care of yourself, we all got a long life ahead of us, and I want to spend more time with you, if its fine for you and your wife.

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What's worse than the holocaust? nothing it was a terrible act in history

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WHATS BROWN AND SMELLS LIKE CRAP!?!?!?!?!?!?!? crap

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Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

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A man walks into a bar. He tricks a lady into smelling a rag doused with chlorophoam, and rapes her.

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One time I said to my friend, "There are too many black people in this country." I forgot he was black.

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Bill goes and buys 45 watermelons, what does he have? 45 watermelons.

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Fine, start by proving to me that you can be a reasonable human being, and I will meet you myself, I have too many of those that rely on my guidance and protection in order for me to send myself off to some suicide mission. Say, are you familiar with the Antony Stark method?

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yo mummas so FAT to get to the other side

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there are three women witch one is married? the one with the ring on its finger

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I am a dog.

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The Lord said to John: "Go forth and receive eternal life" But John went fifth... So he won a toaster

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What's worse than a monkey attack. Nothing monkey attacks absolutely blow.

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Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The first is a person of the Jewish Faith and the other is a popular item of food.

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A man walked into a bar with his parrot, a guy says 'That's a nice pet where did you get it?' 'From africa' The parrot said.

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I am a mime

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Why did the black guy die... Herpees he didn't practice safe sex

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What did the text-to-speech reader say when the 12 year old boy played around with it? "Ass ass ass ass, ass ass ass ass."

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What's grey and can't fly? A castle

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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