A man walks into a bar He orders a beer, drinks the beer, then leaves.

Two men walk into a bar and begin ordering drinks. Both men engage in polite conversation with each other. At the end of the night they each take taxi's home because they realize the potential risk they pose to others if they drive intoxicated.

How do u kill a gay man? Shoot him in the head

Why did Hitler kill himself? He realized what he'd gotten himself into and became severely depressed

Your city streets are so bumpy that cars get flat tires when going to the gas station.

How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans

Do you know why one side of the V formation that geese fly in is longer than the other? Because there's more geese on that side.

www.xnxx.com

what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

What do you call a boomerang that doesnt come back? A stick.

My mother's star sign was Cancer. Ironic how she died really. She was attacked by a giant crab.

Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

whats worth than finding half a dead worm in your apple getting rapped by your step dad

whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

What did one cat say to the other cat? Nothing.

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Impossible, non-living organisms are incapable of moving and babies lack the brain capacity to understand how to screw in a light bulb.

What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

what's worse than pie? alot of things.

A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

Nero, man, I mean I will hurt you, I am on my way to the hospital, and seriously that pic does not look real, seriously on a hospital? I mean man, I am really sorry! I nearly killed you, how was i supposed to know you do not care about your teeth and take half a bottle of that calcium stuff? My mom? Yeah sure! She laughed at the message you sent her, and if you touch my sis, ill kill you, anyway I am on my way, you better change your mind or I will kick your ass!

Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Green paint.

Why did little polly fall off her her roof? Because she saw a ice-cream van

Where did Jenny go after the explosion? Everywhere

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...