A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim are on a plane to France. When they arrive in Paris one will go visit a friend who recently found inspiration in the many magical streets of the city and is in the middle of a year abroad. Another will search for a job and home to support himself and any future family that he might choose to have in the future. The last will check into a hotel and proceed to have a wonderful time seeing all the sights that Paris has to offer.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's Tyrion Lannister short for? It's not short for anything, it's his full name.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what's the difference between a lion and an ostrich? they are both birds, a part from the lion

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's harder than nailing a dead baby on a tree? My dick while doing it.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Once opon a time there was a black America He name was Bob

thumb_up thumb_down -19

"Do you like pie?" "No." "Do you like blueberries?" "No." "I have something you won't like." "Is it a blueberry pie?" "No, I shagged your wife last night".

thumb_up thumb_down -19

The awkward moment when you are reading these jokes and either it's not funny or you don't get it...

thumb_up thumb_down -19

a blonde girl gets behind the wheel of a car. and drives to her community college for her morning class

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what's the worst part about owning a prius? telling your parents you're gay

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What is BIG, STIFF, AND FULL OF SEMEN!!!? A SUBMARINE!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What is worst than a black guy hanging on a tree. A burnt black guy hanging on a tree

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, nobody could fit inside a pineapple, nor could a pineapple survive in the sea

thumb_up thumb_down -19

To Daniel You must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A depressed horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "Millions of years of natural selection." The horse then tries to drink away his sorrows, but the alcohol is only a temporary release from the pain he's feeling. He kills himself the next day.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A Mayor accidently killed one of the citizens of his town through dangerous driving. He could not be charged with murder, as it was an accident, but there was an uproar, and he was humiliated beyond question and forced out of office straight away. Even his family rejected him, owing to the fact that the unfortunate citizen he struck was his son's girlfriend.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I chucked a shit and flushed the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

the person above me ^ lost his virginity to a howler monkey and the person below me was his gay friend untill he found out about his recent run in with a howler monkey and does not wish the same fait as he does.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: Why is daddy wrestling mommy? A: Well Jimmy, that is called sexual intercourse. That is how you were created, and many people of all ages engage in this activity every second.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

So let's pretend two men that had been friends for a very long time, one man asks the other man how he is, so the man tells the other man how he is doing. Then that man asks the other man how he is doing. The two men were engaged in a very interesting conversation. What did the men do next? Nothing. We're pretending, remember?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? If i knew, I'd tell you.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

H o m o comes out as homo

thumb_up thumb_down -19

If your Jewish, then don't go to Germany.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops