Roses are red Violets are purple, and anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong.

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Why did the plane to New York not land? It was redirected to Boston because of inclement weather.

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Why was the penguin popular? He cuts himself.

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Two Scientologists walk into a bar. For $5,000 you can hear the rest of this joke.

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. The rabbi says "ow my head"

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A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

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My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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What do you call a fly with no wings? Disabled

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"I'm so hungry!" "Hello so hungry, I am Matt. You must come from a very odd family if your name is " so hungry"!

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for ya?" The man replies, "A beer."

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An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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a man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. The Bartender says okay, here you go.

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Why does Rebecca Black like Friday? Because it's the start of the weekend

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Why did the chicken cross the road I don't know

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Why was the prostitute's throat sore? Allergies.

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Then I contracted bronchitis from the smoke. Unfortunately I don't not have time to visit a doctor to mend this debilitation. In fact, nobody does.

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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P1: why did the chicken cross the road? P2: to get to the other side. P1: Knock! Knock! P2: whos there? P1: THE CHICKEN!

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Fenestrade De Riguerto sat aloft his might horse Bentereuse and called for his brigadiers. At home his wife was opening a package. 2 minutes later a sound could be heard reverberating across the countryside. It was the invasion fleet from Denarus V wiping out humanity

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What did the man with no head say to the women?

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How many pancakes does it take to lift up a dog house? Silly goose, alligators can't fly!

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Q. why did the girl fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms.

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem doesn't make sense Potato

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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