whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? babies aren't fruit.

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your mom is so fat that she had to start going to a gym to exercise and get her weight under control.

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If you call Dani a dog one more time, lick a gooch nut suckers. XoXo Jamie <3

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What's worse than having AIDS? A piano falling on your left middle finger.

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What did one dog say to the other? Nothing silly...dogs can't talk.

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I HATE GEORGE LOPEZ

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hey girl, My Gyarados is BIG enough for you to ride it ALL day and night

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How do you write an anti-joke? With the keyboard Or voice recognition software

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I had a terrible childhood. My mom abandoned me before I was born.

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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What is the worst gift a child can get? a gift

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What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches

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Why didn't the man go to the movies?? Because he likes pie.

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Why is it scientifically proven that even Spider-Man would be a match for Superman? Because none exist. Moral: The only Super Hero... not scientifically proven, but I exist so that makes me stronger than both of them!

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A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

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Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? Because he's dead!

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A man walks into a bar with a frown on his face His dog just died

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what is black and white and read all over? A penguin in a blender

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I am a schizophrenic, so am I.

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What is worse then your car getting hijacked? A 900 pound man eating a Donut.

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An man walks into a bar and then proceeds to purchase an alcoholic drink.

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A man walks into a bar and says, "Hey, Jim, your wife just died from terminal cancer." Jim then says, "Cool. Hey, do you know if the games on tonight?"

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What is the cost of an abortion? 1 life

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Chuck Norris was dropped twice when he was a baby, once on concrete and once on hardwood

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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