How do you put a baby to sleep? Snap its neck.

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Do they censor Ass? TESTING TESTING ASS ASS ASS

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What's worse than biting into a worm in your apple? Being run over by a stampede of elephants

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Did you know: it is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer

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What's green and has wheels? Nope, it's a car.

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Why do Jew's have long noses? To dig out of the ashes.

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Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

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What do you get when you cross a Zebra with a Sheep? Hounded by a religious group for playing God.

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roses are gray, violets are grayer, f*ck this poem and listen to the slayer.

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A buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand asks the server to make him one with everything

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why does chuck norris not have a middle name? because his parents didn't want him to have one.

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What do you get a Jewish boy for Christmas? Nothing he died in 1943!

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What is the best part about being a rapist? The orgasms.

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

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A lion, a tiger, and a bear walk down the side of the road. This is what I observed last week in a suburb of Columbus, Ohio.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

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A man walks into a bar. He asks for a beer. One of the bar tenders twlls him they are all out. He takes out his gun. He has 1 bullet and there are 3 bar tenders. He wants to kill them all. What does he do? A: Shoots 1 and pegs bricks at the other two.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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"You can't get past" "I'll get future" dad cri mom cri boy bang girl girl cri women's rites sholdnt exist.

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What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time

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Why are black people afraid of lawn mowers? Because whenever you start it, it says run nigga nigga.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Postman Will you sign hear please he said Oh my toaster came

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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