Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

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Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

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MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

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Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

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Once there was this duck. he was the best dentist in the world...

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What's a good joke? Not this one.

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whats the difference between 69 and 6.9 theres a period in the middle

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what do grown up's do at night when everyone lese is asleep? Go to sleep as well

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A blone walks into a bank in New York City and asks the bank teller for a $5000 loan because she's going to Mexico for 2 weeks. The bank teller said he would need some security for the money. The blonde tells him her new Rolls Royce is in the parking Lot and she hands him the keys. The blonde gets the money and goes on her trip. Another employee at the bank then parks the car in the underground parking garage. He later ffinds out the blonde is a multi millionaire. When the blonde arrives home from she pays back the $5000 and $15 interest. When the bank teller asks her why she gave them a $250000 car for security or needed the $5000 loan if she was a multi millionaire, the blonde answers, "Where else can you park your car in New York City and expect it to stillbe there when you return?"

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Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

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Q: How many teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they just sit in the dark and complain about it.

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How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

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"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

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There are 2 black guys in a car. Who's driving? The police.

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Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

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can't you hear that TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT, TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT flute (nicki minaj in a past life listening to a symphony)

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Two men walk into a bar. The first man says to the bartender "I'd like some h2o". The second man says "I'd like some h2o to". The second man died.

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

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Q: What's worse than biting into and apple and finding a worm? A: being severely malnourished, thus physically inept to do most simple tasks

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Why are Indians so bad at football? Curry

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If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

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knock knock who's there? the man the man who? the man who murdered your whole family

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Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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