Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

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How many dead babies would it take to plug the Fukushima Dai-Ichi nuclear power plant? None -- they are using thousands of litres of liquid glass coagulant instead.

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What's long hard and full of seman. A submarine.

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My dad died on Mothers Day, my mother was happy. Actually Iied, we were all sad.

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justin beiber is having intimate sex with a woman.

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Why does everyone treat Jesus as some sort of saint for making five thousand people bread, when Hitler made six million people toast?

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scenario: two teddy bears wrestling under water question: how many apples does it take to tussel with a potato answer: 96 becouse pillows dont eat chease

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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I FEEL LIKE I'M RIDING ON A CLOUD actually it's physically impossible to ride on clouds because they are sparsely situated ice particles.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A present.

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Why wasn't the black man served at the bar? Because they didn't serve his kind there... Did I say black guy? I meant to say a horse, wait, did I say bar? I meant the barn, yes, a horse walks into a barn but they couldn't serve him because he wasn't tamed

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why dont you hit a black kid on a bike? its probably your bike.

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What did the black boy get for Christmas? A bike his parents bought him.

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(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

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What did the Doctor say to the patient. You have AIDS The patient took out a machete and stabbed the Doctor. The Doctor died. Two weeks later, the patient died of AIDS.

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What do Alzheimer patients think of the internet. Happy pi day.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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-I have an idea! Let's play twenty questions! -Alright! But i have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

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What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

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Q: What is white, and comes out of a woman? A: No, milk you perve

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How did the man kill the black fly? He called the KKK fly and had it lynch the black fly

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A man realizes the whole time he has wanted to fly like a bird. His funeral was two weeks later

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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