What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

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what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like. The man says,"I'm feeling light today so I'll just have some H2O." The man's friend says,"I'm feeling the same. I'll have some H2O, too." The second man died.

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What's worse than a crying baby on a trans-Atlantic flight? A hungry lion on a trans-Atlantic flight.

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Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

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Jemal picks 3 apples. He eats two of them, and then picks 3 more. What color was Jamal?

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- i send you a friend request on facebook - okay

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What's the difference between 10 dead baby's and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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Q:Why was 6 afraid of seven? A:Because seven ate (eight) nine

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What's worse than terminal cancer? Two terminal cancer?

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knock knock who's there? your destiny

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Ask me if I care. Do you care? No.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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What's the best part of the 1980s? They're over.

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A wise man once told me that friends are like cookies. He was a cannibal.

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Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

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If you eat a brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundae, your tastebuds will likely turn purple and move to France, where people don't eat brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundaes.

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What happens to a blonde girl who is buying drugs off of a drug dealer? Nothing, she was an undercover police officer trying to arrest said drug dealers on the street.

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Roses are red and so is venus now kneel down and suck my penis:)

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

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Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She is a woman ... Who is blind, deaf and mute Therefore considered a danger to herself And those around her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops