How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen Beatle? Two in the front, two in the back, and one hundred in the ash tray.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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Roses are red violets are blue i have aids and now so do you

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Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

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What has Whitney Houston got in common with a spider? They're both black and they can't get out of the bathtub

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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What did modern scientists say to Einstein? Neurtinos travel faster than the speed of light! :)

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Q: what is blue and has no legs A: A crippled boy painted blue

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What did the black guy say to the drug dealer? "You should probably stop dealing drugs to people because it is illegal and you could be sent to prison for doing so."

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A: Can I get a tall white Russian. B: No. A: Why not? B: Because this is a Barnes and Nobles. However, we do have a Starbucks, and I can offer you a venti caramel iced coffee"

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Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? Because it was sold out

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What do you call a really bad band? One with a poor guitar player, a bad bass player, sloppy drums, obnoxious vocals, and all of the songs sound the same. Or Nickelback.

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Why did the black man eat KFC? Because he got hungry.

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How do you get rid of black people in your back yard? Politely ask them to leave.

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Why is minecraft so awesome? Because real life is boring as crap.

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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why did suzie fall of the swings? because she had no arms.

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So, a monkey walks ino a bar... I can't remember the rest of the joke, but your mother is a whore.

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WARNING: this is a black joke Why does everybody hate darth vader? he is all black

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What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder and rape of a 7 year old child.

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Why'd the kid stick ice up his nose? To keep his lunch cold.

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What is better than one wors roll - two wors rolls

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I once met a giraffe, It needed a bath, When I turned on the water, It started to swim, Because it was actually a fish.

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You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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