Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you insult him, you'll be a mile away, and have his shoes.

Whats brown and sticky? Shit.

What's faster, a train or a bike? A horse because a cow gives milk

What was so incredible about this bigger new oven i just bought? It could fit twice as many Jews in it. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

what did Stan say to Dave? nothing, Dave died 500 years before Stan was born, thus he said nothing.

What do you call a calculator without a brain? A calculator.

What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

im 14, over weight and spotty! you interested? .... im desperate:)

What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

dont you hate it when your reading something and it doesnt end the way you cactus

Knock Knock Who's there? Sorry, wrong house.

My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

Text this number just cuz 16305208722

What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

Bob: I have a funny knock knock joke, but you have to start it. Joe: Ok. Knock Knock. Bob: Who's there? Joe: Uhhhhhhh Bob: Exactly.

whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping cart? One holds groceries. The other molests small children.

A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

Why did Santa die? Because he got diabetes from so many cookies

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Someone said "catch" and threw a bowling ball at him.

What is round and bad-tempered? A vicious circle

Help i have fallen and i cannont get up Life alert life alert To bad just sit there we dont care

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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