How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

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Take part of what?

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What is worse than catching someone trying to cheat by looking at your exam? Getting struck by lightning.

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Why did sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by an 18 wheeler Knock knock Whos there not sally

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. -It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile? 'Get in the batmobile Robin'

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a priest, a rabbi, and a nun walk into a bar...and the bartender goes...what is this a joke? mr. healey

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A man walks into a bar at 4:00 PM NO it was actually 4:01 because my clock is messed up and My dad likes cheese plus pie

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One time there was a man walking down the street. Wrong, it is physically impossible to walk down a street, you can only walk along it.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Sandwich.

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what do you call a man that is hurt? A: you call him an ambulanse

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HELP!!! I locked myself in my bathroom and can't get out! my laptop is running out of batteries!

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Why did the clown have a heart attack? He had long term heart problems.

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Whats cold and frozen? ice

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A black man shoots someone. He was a cop and he killed a dangerous man who attacked him.

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What happened to the Jewish man while he was in the shower? He accidentally fell asleep and was late to his job.

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Why did the pot-head have red eyes? He got soap in them.

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An Asian man walks into a bar and ask the Barman for a beer, the Barman is racist and therefore tells the Asian man to leave his pub. The man goes home and drowns his children in the bath and pushes his wife down the stairs, he is found out by the police and is given a life sentence in jail. 5 years later the Barman kills someone in a bar fight and is also sent to jail for life. The Barman meats the Asian man in prison and they settle there differences with a handshake. Two days later the Barman was stabbed in the neck.

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what did the guy say to the goose? i know you don't understand but my life sucks. my wife just dumped me for another man and my kids hate me. thank you. you are the only one to understand.

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Roses are smiling, violets are trying to kill me. DId I mention I'm a paranoid schizophrenic?

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What was the last thing that went through the crashing helicopter pilot's head? The propeller.

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roses are gray, violets are grayer, f*ck this poem and listen to the slayer.

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a blonde girl gets behind the wheel of a car. and drives to her community college for her morning class

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what's the difference between a lion and an ostrich? they are both birds, a part from the lion

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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