A duck walks into a bar and says, "Put it on my bill"

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Why is the sky blue during day? Because it would be night if it was black.

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I don't always drink beer but when I do, I viciously beat my wife and children.

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What did the traffic light say to the car? Bye.

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What happened when the old man fell off the roof? He died....

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Joke- Blah Blah Blah, punch line -LOL -Shut the hell up

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why was the boy sad his whole family just died in a plane crash

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Guess what I was with your mom last night so I wraped her in foil and put her in the oven.

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Knock knock Who's there? Hi I'm John from the jehovah witness society down the street and I'd love to talk to you about your beliefs! Would you like a pamphlet?

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What happens when you finish a bottle of Sprite? You finish it

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See what I did here? ;) Ladies, I just need some space okay? Damn Space Invaders... Ijustmetthespaceinvaderstheytookmyspace << DOUBLE MEANING!

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Why did the ginger go to hell? Because after all the bullying she endured for her hair color, she felt her only option was to commit suicide.

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what does STFU stand for? the southern tenant farmers union.

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What do you call an horse? A horse, because horse does not start with a vowel and that would be grammatically incorrect.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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A man walks into a bar and is promptly sent out because he is under the age of 21.

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a cancer patient walks into a bar and has a stroke

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Why? Because.

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well shit whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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Girl, why are you crying? I'm not a girl, I'm a strawberry.

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What smells like diarrhea and looks like poop? A rotten banana.

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Two elderly men were sat next to a children's playground... They were there to pick up their grandchildren because their parents were at work.

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What happened when a star exploded? It killed billions of other sentient beings.

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What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops