what do you call a middle-aged man with one blue suede shoe on, purple hair, pink skin, white eyes, no toenails, 67 fingers, 1 eye, a pocket watch, no clothes, and 8978967564567898765432345678765321234568909876543w245678909876543456098765323456-0987654367890-098765435678-09876543456789098765432345678909876543456789098765435678909876543234567898765323456890-987654345678900987654323456890987653234567890765434568909876543456899876543456789098765434568909876545678987654345678987654567898765434567898765478579458765456789876543223456789876543098765432123456898765432678987654230987653-098765434567898765434898765434567898765456787654567876 butt cheeks? bob.

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People who find just saying 69 is the funniest thing ever.

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To men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

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Three children had stumbled upon a magic slide. There was a sign on the slide stating that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "JELLY" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of jelly when he reached the bottom of the slide. The next child, so excited to go down the slide began sliding down. She shouted out "LOLLIES" and sure enough she landed in a large pool of sweets and chocolates at the bottom of the slide. Finally, the youngest girl in the group mounted the slide. As she was going down she was enjoying the slide so much that she shouted "POOS POOS" forgetting the rule of the magic slide and finally landing in a large pool of excrement.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go home and beat his wife

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What do Michael Jackson and most Catholic priests have in common? They're dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all began in 1807 when a 7 foot rooster gave birth to a chicken on the sidewalk while purchasing ice cream. Scientists have been intrigued so they went into study with it and won the Nobel prize. This somehow persuaded them to lure the chicken over to the other side by using a lollipop. They threw the lollipop as the chicken crossed the road, hit it in the eye, the chicken spazzed out, jumped in front of a car, teleported to London, and is now a gynecologist.

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Why do skinny women eat their food fresh cooked? So that they don't contract food-borne diseases and risk dying.

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Whats the difference between Sarah Palin and Jason Voorhees? Jason has a chainsaw.

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Penis-biter

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Is Mike here? Mike Hunt? Has anyone seen Mike Hunt? Yes teacher, he is home sick with the flu.

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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hey guys im gay

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How many cans does the average alcoholic drink in one night? None. Cans are solid and therefore cannot be drank.

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If Spongebob lives in Bikini Bottom, Where is Bikini Top?

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What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

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why did the man cross the rode? He didn't he got hit by a bus

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a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

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How do you make a twelve year old girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear.

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Why did the boy wear a winter jacket on the hottest day of the year? Because the boy was in antarctica and the hottest day was still below freezing.

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What do you hear when you put your foot on a man's ear? A man saying, "WTF are you doing?!"

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What is the difference between a ginger and a pile of bricks? nothing. nothing at all.

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CJISTHEBEST Sticks and stones may break my bones because i have osteoperosis.

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how do you call someone? use a phone

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops