What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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What happened when the Asian girl got a B on her report card? She committed suicide

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What's worse than having AIDS? A piano falling on your left middle finger.

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How do you write an anti-joke? With the keyboard Or voice recognition software

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I am a schizophrenic, so am I.

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What is the worst gift a child can get? a gift

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What would George Washington do if he was able to talk to all of America? Ask them to dig him up.

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your mom is so fat that she had to start going to a gym to exercise and get her weight under control.

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Why is it scientifically proven that even Spider-Man would be a match for Superman? Because none exist. Moral: The only Super Hero... not scientifically proven, but I exist so that makes me stronger than both of them!

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hey girl, My Gyarados is BIG enough for you to ride it ALL day and night

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Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? Because he's dead!

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I had a terrible childhood. My mom abandoned me before I was born.

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A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

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whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? babies aren't fruit.

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Why didn't the man go to the movies?? Because he likes pie.

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what is black and white and read all over? A penguin in a blender

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What do you get when you throw a bagel at a chicken? One less bagel.

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knock knock whose there? you have AIDS

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A man walks inti a bar and asks for a drink, he shows the bartender his ID and is kicked out because the man is underaged.

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Mary- Hey Dallas, do you have a suitcase? Dallas- Yeah, why? Mary- I need a suitcase

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how did the woman get her baby to stop crying? she hit him with a axe

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How do you stop a lumberjack? You thrust a javelin through his lungs

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What do you call a full refrigerator? A freezer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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