What's yellow and can't swim? A tractor.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his forehead.

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What's the difference between a grape and a duck? They're both purple, apart from the duck.

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why don't bears wear shoes? because they have bear feet

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What did the Black women tell her Asian boyfriend in bed Nothing because they don't talk when they are sleeping

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Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

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Waitress: Would you like to have a drink? Customer: (Looks at the drink's menu) Hmmmm... What are my choices? Waitress: Yes and no.

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why did your mom leave your dad because he was a drunk :l

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How can a black person and a white person be friends? The civil right's movement.

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Q. What does the kool aid man say when he breaks into a wall A. Ow

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A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

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roses are blue violets are red crap i screwed up dont judge me

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knock knock who`s there me oh come in

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Why did the chicken cross the road I don't know

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A man walks into a bar, politely orders one drink, sips it while having social conversations with his peers, pays his tab, and goes to take the bus home. I can respect that.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and mentally retarded; you sexist fiend.

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Why did the little girl only walk half way across the street She fell into a man hole and died

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How many Dead Babies does it take fill a phone booth? There is an obvious epidemic going around causing millions of babies to die. This is no laughing matter and the mothers of these babies are probably going through therapy to get over their lost.

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Why did Michael Jackson get so many nose jobs? He was incredibly insecure.

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Spot the mistake: a) x+2= 5 => x=3. b You.

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? No seriously, I don't know because we've only just got electricity in our village.

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Why was Jimmy upset? He wasn't.

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What's long and blackand goes all night? night time

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PATIENT: Doctor, doctor, I can't see my legs DOCTOR: That's because you're blind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops