Why is Texas so hot? The sun

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Why did I the granda fall out of her wheel chair?. She fell down the steps

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

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Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant monkey

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how do you call someone? use a phone

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Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

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Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener

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what do u call a newspaper boy on brake? your uncle because hes broke and struggling with income.

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What happened when Glen jumped off a building? The rope snapped his neck. He died.

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What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

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Q. what happend to the guy who walked by an alley in new york? A. he got beat up by a robber wich took hes money, cellphone, keys and his abillity to walk.

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why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off

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Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

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What's the best way to toss a salad? With a salad spinner from the home shopping network.

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what's black and hangs from a tree in my garden? a blackberry

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my gamertag so party up maybe?

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How can you get a handicap black man to walk again? You don't...... Unless you motivate him with fried chicken. Anti-anti-joke!

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I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

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What's the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage...

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Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your dick taste like shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops