Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

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What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

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Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Meanwhile in the basement...an elderly man, who lives a lone and whose children lead their own lives and dont have much time for him, lies on the ground unable to move after having falling down the stairs. He has been there for 2 days. He is frightened and confused, he hears someone knocking and his hopes perk up, he tries to call but due to lack of water his mouths is too dry to do so. He sobs in frustration. Knock Knock [Silence] The old man cries, aware of his fate.

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: Someone who just got stabbed to death reading the newspaper.

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what are the best kind of bees none they sting and hurt like hell

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How do you know when it is a Mexican's birthday? They are walking around with "happy birthday" balloons.

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What's the difference between a volleyball and a tree? They're both volleyballs except for the tree.

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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When life gives you limes, say hey! wait a second ,aren't these meant to be lemons? then kill yourself

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What's worse than putting stones in a blender? Putting a baby in a blender.

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why do you kill people in call of duty you don't you kill computer made figures

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding Barney the purple dildo!

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Why do giraffes have long necks? So they can reach higher, un-eaten leaves.

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Roses are red, My name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van

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why do chairs recline Because they were built that way!!!!

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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what looks like a banana? a penis

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How I Met Your Mother, starring Oedipus Rex

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What is Cleopatra's favorite cookie? A: Chips Ahoy

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Rose are red Violets are blue all I what to know is what do that mouth do

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What's heavier: a kilogramme of steel or a kilogramme of feathers? A kilogramme of steel, because steel is heavier than feathers.

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why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by the ice cream van

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

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Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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