What long black and tasty? Licorice

Justin Bieber's gay!! My butt is sexier!(;

Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

What is an Indian's favourite country? North Currya

Why was the uneducated black guy raped? To make this joke more risky and therefore funnier.

What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

Why did the boy fall of his bike? He's learning to ride and understandably lost his balance.

What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

Rosees are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia and I do too

Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

What's the best way to get high without doing drugs? Jump.

Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

what do you call a black man in the bank holding a bag of money. One wealthy man

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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