Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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What? I didn't say anything. Yes you did.

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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eoin burgin is fat

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How did the mexican die while fixing a lightbulb? He fell off the ladder.

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A priest, a rabbi and a mullah walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the three, laughs and says "Please leave now, God is dead"

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What did the nun eat for breakfast? Baseballs.

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On a scale of 1 to Lord Voldemort, how awkward would you say your hugs are?

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John said: "This roller coaster makes me green." HIs mother replied: "That's because you have leprosy."

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He lived a long, full life. Outside of Nantucket. But he visited occasionally.

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How do you get a baby in a bowl? You put it in.

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There was a chicken. It squarked.

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patient: Doctor, doctor, i think i'm a lemon. Doctor: racial segregation and presidency is my middle name.

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When life gives you lemons, Commit felonies

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Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if you father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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What's the difference between you and a sick duck? I forget the rest but your mother's a whore.

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Knock knock... Home invasion

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Some Minions have one eye, others have two. And nobody seems to care.

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"the president is black, my lambo's blue..." no hes not, hes bi-racial.

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Y didnt the grandma go to christmas? She died on thanksgiving

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You want some cake? Sure! Okay, go buy the ingridients and bake me some. YAY!

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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why does my face bleeding theres an axe in it

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How do you confuse a terrorist? Speak another language other than Arabic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops