red is black green is black i'm batman i'm white,

Hey i just raped you and this is crazy so delete my number and keep the baby

Why did the blonde arrest the man? Because he brutally murdered his wife and children.

What did the man say when he saw a alien? "Look its a Alien"

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender serves the duck the beer. Later, the bartender wonders to himself when his life got so out of control.

Who smokes a lot of weed and speaks 5 different languages? Rosetta Stoner.

What's worse than seeing another antijoke with "The Holocaust" punchline repeated? The Holocaust.

Q. What is ginger and ginger? A. a ginger

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery.. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?” The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, and even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound; a sound like no other that he has ever heard. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, “We can’t tell you because you’re not a monk.” The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery. The monks again accept him, feed him, and even fix his car.. That night, he hears the same strange mesmerizing sound that he had heard years earlier. The next morning, he asks what the sound was, but the monks reply, “We can’t tell you because you’re not a monk.” The man says, “All right, all right. I’m dying to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?” The monks reply, “You must travel the Earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.” The man sets about his task. Some forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, “I have traveled the Earth and devoted my life to the task demanded and have found what you had asked for. There are 371,145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth. The monks reply, “Congratulations, you are correct, and you are now considered a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound.” The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, the sound is behind that door. The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He asks, “May I have the key?” The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone…The man requests the key to the stone door. The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby.. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. And so it went on until the man had gone through doors of emerald,…. ….silver, topaz, and amethyst. Finally, the monks say, “This is the key to the last door.” The man is relieved to be at the end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is astonished to find the source of that strange sound. It is truly an amazing and unbelievable sight…. ….But I can’t tell you what it is because you’re not a monk.

whats flat and useless? the walls of an abandoned house where land prices are increasing and properties are in high demand

Why did the little girl fall of the swing? Because she had no arms.

why was the jew shaking hands with a nazi? they realized their differences and were bonding.

Whats alive and drowning? your new born baby you just threw in the river

You know whats annoying? Steve

What did little John do when he was bored? He went on Anti-Joke

what do you do when see a young girl crying on the swingset? ask her kindly to move, as you would like a turn

A man walks into a chiropractor. The chiropractor asked whats wrong with you? The man replies My boner has scoliosis.

Why did the ginger go to hell? Because after all the bullying she endured for her hair color, she felt her only option was to commit suicide.

So this chick meets a guy at a bar. They never greet each other and the drive home sober.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

yo mother is so fat, the recursive function computing her mass causes a stack overflow.

whats the difrence between santa clause and a jew santa goes down the chimney

What do you call someone trying to be funny? An anti-comedian.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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