A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face. The horse replies, neigh.

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Q) How many boring people does it take to screw in a light bulb? A) One

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Q: Why did your mom cross the street? A: Because she was so ugly that she fell off both sides of the bed

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Paul walks on a bridge. It collapses.

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What if algebra teachers were actually pirates, and they're making us find the X so they can search for buried treasure?

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What do you call a fish with no "i's"? A blind fish.

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whats worse than finding a dead cat in your kitchen? a dead cat in your bedroom

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Why a polar bear fell over? He drank so much

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What is the Question to Life, the Universe, and Everything? 43 - 1 = ?

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A depressed horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "Millions of years of natural selection." The horse then tries to drink away his sorrows, but the alcohol is only a temporary release from the pain he's feeling. He kills himself the next day.

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, nobody could fit inside a pineapple, nor could a pineapple survive in the sea

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he saw some pandas spooning.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was experiencing financial troubles, and needed money. He tried applying for many jobs, but they just didn't quite work out. After ending up in the drug business to support his family, a deal went bad and he was shot, landing him in the hospital. The night his family arrived to check on him, the same shooter made his way to his room, and murdered his wife and 3 children, and somehow managed to evade police. Months after this incident, Ralph, the same chicken who was in the hospital and witnessed his family's murder, was finally released. He had nothing to live for, nothing to look forward to in the future. He took up alcohol abuse for some time, until realizing what truly had to be done. He began tracking down his family's killer, and with each day spent, he became closer and closer to discovering the dealer's whereabouts. One day, he finally figured out who it was. As he arrived at the killers' home, he took one last deep breath, then stormed in. After fighting through many of the dealers' body-gaurds, Ralph finally reached the notorious drug dealing murder, Froghorn Leghorn. As a bloody battle ensued, it was clear who the winner would be.. As Ralph staggered out of the destroyed home, bloodied, yet victorious, he realized something. All the tracking, all the killing, all the bloodshed he had created, was all in vain. He realized that taking Froghorn's life didn't, and wouldn't, bring his family back. Finding himself dumbfounded, he began to trot, head down, through the field where the bad drug deal happened, almost a year ago now. He took one last deep breath, looked at the stars, and took his first step on the road. This was it he decided, he was finally going to reunite with his family again once more. As the headlights raced towards him, he heard his family in unison whisper to him "You're finally home Ralph, you're finally home."

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What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

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y r black people noses so big??? A= god had to hold tem somehere to spray paint them

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What is worst than a black guy hanging on a tree. A burnt black guy hanging on a tree

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What do you call Bob if he gets a nose ring? Bob

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Knock knock. Who's there? Imaj. Imaj who? Haha, you're a Jew.

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What did the german speech therapist say to his mute patient? There a few methods we can use to help you obtain the power of speech.

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Justin Beiber has fame, his own bodyguards, he has performed many shows and has everyone's attention. What do you have? A penis.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just shot up a plaground Now Im heading to an orphanage

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How did the deaf girl die? I beeped but she didnt hear me

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What did the chicken say when it layed the square egg? Ouch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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