What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

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Pain Olympics.

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why did the students in 7/8 red try to commit suicide? they had miss harding as a teacher!

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Yo mamas so fat she hates her life and the example she sets for her children.

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend........... Wiped his ass

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Q: What did the two muffins say in the oven? A: OMG we are in an oven, "OMG a talking muffin"

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your best friend, and I'll always be there for you.

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Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

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Knock Knock Come in

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Why did the girl cry when her boyfriend brought up the topic about rape? Because she was raped by her father as a child and it was a suppressed memory.

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An orphan falls off a cliff.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

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Q.sam is 18 years old, why can't she get her licence? A.because Sam is a lost dog on the street

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A muslim, a jew, and a black man jump off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? They all hit the ground at the same time because gravity pulls all objects at the same rate regardless of their mass.

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What did the horse say to the man? The man woke up from his dream so he didn't know either

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What is the difference between a fridge? I'm sorry, I have a severe mental disability and telling jokes is not... F'tang F'tang Zoop Pong Wii!

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

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What's the difference in an orange? A chicken because a vest has no sleeves.

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where does al queda go on a business trip the twin towers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops