There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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Why did Hitler kill himslef? He saw his gas bills.

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Subject A: Knock Knock! Subject B: *silence* Subsequently, Subject A dejectedly walks home and hangs himself.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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what's the best way to remove leaves from a tree? take them off

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum sucker, and the other is an advisor who assists people by representing them on legal matters.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

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Why was the girl crying? Because I raped her

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A: What dose God listen to? B: Slayer. A: Trick Question, God=Slayer

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Did you hear about the homosexual that walked out of a hospital? He just found out he was HIV positive. (ic3)

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Q - What is worse than a nerdy joke on anti-jokes with a lot of big words in it? A - Although I get scared when i see big words, the page long jokes are probably worse

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Why did the chicken cross the road...

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What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

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Yes and no, you would have ruined what is beautiful yet different within your soul.

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Confucius says... He with whom neither slander that gradually soaks into the mind, nor statements that startle like a wound in the flesh, are successful may be called intelligent indeed.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names

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Q. Why did the little girl drop her ice cream? A. She dropped it as she got into the van

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Why didn't the dog come to his master when it was called? It didn't have any legs.

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Three men walk in to a bar, One ducked

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A Jew, an Irishman and a Russian walk into the bar and the bartender says, "Get the Hell out."

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My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. I guess I make a good milkshake.

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What's the difference between an apple and a baby. An apple is a fruit. A baby is a human being.

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An orphan falls off a cliff.

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If the goverment wants us to be eco friendly then why are the eco friendly cars so expensive?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops