whats worse then getting a bad present on your birthday? dying.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

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A guy is taking a pee in the ocean and a fish swims up and drinks the pee. The fish says "thanks for the lemonade."

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A woman walked into a college.....which wasn't suprising because she never learned to read

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So there was this cracker sitting on a bench. A pigeon picked it up and flew off. Probably ate it afterwards.

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OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

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Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

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Gullible is not in the dictionary Yes it is

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

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Why didnt the boy go to school the next day? Because he killed himself due to bullying

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face" and the horse says "my wife just died of skin cancer."

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why did the chicken eat his brother? he was a canivore

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Why did Hitler shoot himself? Because he found out Chuck Norris was a Jew.

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What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

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Doesn't matter, had sex. Except for the STD's I possibly contracted.

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What did the penguin say to the other penguin? Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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Whats black and white and red all over? Genital Warts...

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What do a worm and a human have in common? They both have arms and legs apart from the worm

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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There are two blonds in a car, the driver to looks to the other blond (carelessly taking in her surroundings) They crash and the passenger is grusomely killed to the point of not being recognized and the driver later commits suicide from the guilt and pending law suit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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