What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

How do you make a baby stop crying for the rest of its life? Shoot it in the face.

WHAT HAS MAN BOOBS THE SIXE OF JUPITER BOMBER NEVILLE

Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have your test results, You have cancer.

Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

Q; Whats the hardest part about nailing a dead baby to a wall? A; my dick while doing it.

How many days can a pelican whisper? Pelicans can't whisper.

what is red and can grow hair water i lied about it growing hair and that it is red

How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: The wheel chair.

What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

What do you call a popular rap and hip-hop artist? Tunde

why did little suzy fall off the swing? she was stabbed by a drugaddict

Why did the girl fall of the swing? I hit her with an axe.

Why Jimmy doesn't listen to his mother? Because he's deaf

Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

What did the man with no head get for Christmas? Nothing he was dead

How do you kill a jew? Same way you would anyone

What is black and blue, with nothing to do? The prostitute in my basement.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the cock was on the other side.

Q:What did the duck say to the other duck A:We are both ducks

What makes George Michael gay? The fact he engages in sexual intercourse with other men.

Whats worse than getting an "F" on a test? Stage diving with a kilt on.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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