what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

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What did the kI'd with cancer get for Christmas? A coffin.

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There once was a student named Bob. Every morning he would rush to his job. But one day there was rain, He slipped in front of his train, There used to be a student named Bob.

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what do you call a fish with no gills? Dead

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HEYEEYAHEYAYYAEEAHHAAA

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Lady gaga suposedly has a wener.What does that make her? A man

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Why do we have brown eggs? Because black people have sex with chickens

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Kameron Brown is gay.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How am I supposed to know?

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What's do you call a prostitute in a hospital? A concerned parent.

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Its Eliza, hope you are still there, would you mind getting here sooner? This site is not safe, besides its cold here, I mean send somebody else if you got to, I might look frail but Nero taught me a thing or two, so I can honestly say that Nero taught me better than you guys just in case. Funny you say there is no code, yet add three, yeah you better expect nothing "fancy", Mr.Torture dungeon master. Honestly though I do not blame you, and if I really meant you where a psycho, I would not have agreed/asked you showed up, I am serious I need to get out of here.

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What did Billy say to Timmy? Timmy! I'm so sorry. *Sniffles* I didn't mean to throw the fork that hard. Rest in peace Timmy...

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what's worse than the holocaust the man who thought of it

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What's dark, scary, and full of puppies? My van. I lied about the puppies...

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Your mother is so slutty that she seduced me while I was drunk. I'm so sorry.

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how many babies does it take to paint a house depends on how hard you throw em

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Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

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Why couldn't Horton hear a who? He was a loaf of bread.

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how do you open a can of coke with no tab? throw a washing machine at it

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Q:why is steven balmont gonna beat up mr fatty goral A:because hes a fat czech Shout out to my mandem lewis hall&moses

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Why did lil' Jenny fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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How do you tell if your lesbian lover has cheated on you? If she's pregnant.

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What's funnier than Tom Cruise laughing like a badass? Chuck Norris

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops