how much blondes does it take to fix a light bulb 1 to buy the bulb 2 to put it up and 25 to think about what it does

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 17

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'why the long face?'. The horse does not answer as it cannot speak or even understand english. It was later destroyed by the government.

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What did the cow say to the Businessman? Nothing. Cows cant talk.

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What do a tree and I have in common? We would both be mad if we got turned into paper.

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there. Not Mary!!

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What was the black woman doing in the kitchen? She was simply washing her hands after eating dinner.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other... Uh oh. A car just ran it over.

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What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

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you will like this because i am black.

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Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

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Which came first? The chicken? Or the egg? Whichever one was more sexually excited i guess.

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How do you kill a baby swinging on a rope attached to a pole at 40 miles an hour? Hit it with a shovel.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue if something smells bad, its gotta be you! Roses are red this much is true but violets are purple not f***ing blue!

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A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

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what’s worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? one dead baby in 12 trash cans

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What did the bolt say to the wall?? nothing ,they just screwed.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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Moose A: What do you call a moose with diapers on its head? Moose B: Me.

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my egg roll

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What is the difference between a fridge and a tree ? The fridge can't sing

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Knock Knock The occupant uses their peephole and realizes it is a familiar face then proceeds to let them in.

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What does mickee say to other animals. Mouse

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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