Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the KFC worker dislike his job? He was paid lower than minumum wage due to the plummeting economy.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why do people make fun of Laquesha? Because she's white.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A present.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +16

roses are red, violets are blue, if you want to success, stop being a mess..

thumb_up thumb_down +14

POOP.....People Order Our Patties

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what did the white man call a black man that was awarded the job he applied for? He stated the man was a hard worker and deserved the job. Then he walked up to the man with a smile and congraduated him. Then he went home and commited suicide after he concluded he didnt deserve to live.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Your mom is so fat she probably has a body mass index of between 25 and 30 which is considered to be "overweight" but paradoxically is associated with fewer health risks by medical professionals.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

The good part of "Age" of Ultron? THANOS REIGNS! Disagree? Just leave the green thumb and fuck off!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Chuck Norris never shows emotion!!!... because he is a pragmatic person and thinks in a more logical manner.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Wanna hear a dirty joke? ... A boy played in mud.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What happened to the boy who ate a piece of his Halloween candy? He died. It was laced with cyanide.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What does "Ford" stand for? Nothing. It's the name of the company founder, not an acronym.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

on a scale from 0 to 100, how childish are you? 69

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, Retinal Hemorrhage.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A muslim and a jew walk into a bar. The muslim proceeds to detonate the bomb he had strapped to his chest, killing himself and dozens of bar patrons.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops