Nero7 How are you doing? This is "Eliza" I hope I will be joining, but I cannot reach you by phone, please respond ASAP time is running out.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you blind an Asian man You stab him six times in each eye socket and drop cyan pepper in his eye wound.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red Violets are blue I like pussy Because it feels really good when I stick my penis inside her vaginal opening

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q- if a small quiz is a quizicle then whats a small test A- a testicle

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Yo momma so hairy she needs to shave herself.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you stop a drunk driver? With a minivan and family of four.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you offend a black man? Call him a nigger.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why couldn't the baby play with the blocks? It died during birth.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's worse than hitting your thumb with a hammer? Getting your spine ripped off

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do Michael Jackson and most Catholic priests have in common? They're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because, it realized that it was worth something in life, it had a meaning, a purpose, and a right to freedom, to go where it pleased. The chicken's first act of this freedom was to go across the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A bar walks into a man... The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs. The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar. The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood. The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily. Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man walks into an exam room for a doctor's appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why do chickens have feathers? Because chickens are birds and birds have feathers.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the german killed the jew? Because he was nazi.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the little orphan girl get for christmas? nothing her parents are dead

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A young boy is crying in the park, when priest walks up to him -What's the matter son? -My parents died in a horrible car accident 2 weeks ago and now i'm held in an abusive household.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops