What did the kid with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bicycle.

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Man 1: Ask me if im a flower Man 2: "are you a flower?" Man 1: if i was a flower do you think i could talk? man 1 was wondering why man 2 was so uneducated

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Your momma's so fat, people make jokes about her.

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Pain Olympics.

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What does it mean when people say your mom? it means that there name is Hunter

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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How did the Jew survive the holocaust? He didn't, he died.

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What color is a red house Red What color is a blue house Blue What color is a white house White What color is a green house Clear

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Roses are gray, violets are blue; I'm red-green colorblind so I occasionally have difficulty seeing most shades of red or green.

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What did the cop say to the speeding black man? "Can I see your license and registration?"

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Why did the man get a DUI? Because he was driving under the influence.

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"I have a job perfromance review today!" Earl told his wife. "Good luck, I will make you a special dinner tonight," Melinda, his wife, responded.

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whos on the right track? lady gaga

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stoplight turned green

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you're so stupid, you have trouble understanding what you read, like the newspaper, for example

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What do you call it when an old person cuts off their fingers? Dementia

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what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

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What's the difference between my girlfriend and a dead baby? I don't make out with my girlfriend after sex.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw a lightbulb? None, they couldn't cross the border.

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What's the scariest thing about the dark? There's a black man in my bed.

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Why did the student fail his test? He forget to study for it the night before.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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