Me: Ask me if I'm an orange. You: Are you an orange? Me: No

Robin, get in the car, please.

A child wasn't wearing knee pads when he was skateboarding. He proceeded to fall of his board and break his arm

Roses are reds, Viloets are blue, Thank God I'm a christian, And not a jew.

whats worse than failing your maths test?

Roses are blue, Violets are purple, I like chicken. Do you like chicken?

If I was in a room with Osama bin laden and george bush, and my friend. And I had a gun with two bullets, I'd shoot my friend twice.

A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

What do you call a black man holding a stone with bloody hands A hard working stone mason

Why can't Helen Keller just kidding she's dead

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

Where do you go when you find a fork in the road? To the nearest restaurant.

What's grey and can't swim? A castle.

What is the Pirates favorite letter? C

A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

what did the monitor say to the boy? Im a Monitor

Doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "Never-mind that, you've got AIDS.

what do you call a gay guy? kevin

In soviet Russia, your dead because it doesn't exist anymore

My friend just phoned me from the Boston marathon. He was being taken to the hospital due to being injured by the explosions and had to have his leg amputated.

Q: Why did the Asian fail his driving test? A: Lack of concentration on the road and low knowledge of functioning a car.

My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

What's worse than Twilight? New Moon. What's worse than New Moon? Eclipse. What's worse than Eclipse? Breaking Dawn. What's worse than Breaking Dawn? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Breaking Dawn Part 2.

Why did the rapper carry an umbrella? Because the weather report said there was a 90% chance of rain, and he didn't want to get his posh new coat wet on the way to the studio

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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