Why did the legless person roll down a hill? Because he was in a wheelchair

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Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

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An older man and a young boy are holding hands and walking into the woods together. The boy looks up and say, "gee, I'm scared, it's dark in there." the old man answers, "Yeah, just think how I feel....I have to walk out of here alone!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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An alien just ate your family and all of the things you love

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Knock Knock Who's There Fat white lady with dreadlocks Fat white lady with dreadlocks who? want to buy some girls scout cookies?

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Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

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What is the color of your spleen? I dont know i'm not a doctor

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What's worse than seeing your grandfather dead on the floor? Seeing your grandmother standing over him with a knife

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how do you make a plumber cry? pull up his pants....

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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Me John Kasich! Me win Ohio primary!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just got AIDS, And soon so will you!

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Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

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http://adf.ly/C8MqG

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What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

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What did the cat say to the rabbit? Nothing, cats are incapable of human speech as far as scientists are concerned. Also, the mouse was having a bad day. Rutabaga.

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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Q: What did the two muffins say in the oven? A: OMG we are in an oven, "OMG a talking muffin"

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Scream went into the bar. The bartender says," Why the long face?" "..." *facepalm*

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Dam. Mothers Against Dyslexia.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If you don't know the answer by now, there's something wrong with you.

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You know what's funnier than 24? .... 9-11

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Jerry Sandusky walks into an Under 21

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops