What did the cow say to the Businessman? Nothing. Cows cant talk.

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what did the penguin say to the other penguin after they rolled down a hill, and fell into a pile of leaves then proceeded to go swimming, play basketball, go swimming again and then play ping pong and pool? nothing. penguins cant talk

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Panda walks into a restaurant with gun ready to eat, shoot and leave to finish a really good grammar joke, but before he can eat, Animal Control tranquilize him and seize his gun. So all he can do is leave unconscious. Meanwhile someone takes enjoyment in slowly burning the dictionary entry for "Panda".

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police, your entire family died in a car accident. ... ... The police, your entire family died in a car accident who?

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whats the difference between a black guy and a park bench? well a park bench is an inanimate object that people use to sit on and feed the birds at the park. and a black guy is a living being who is looked down upon in society.

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Andoni was here

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Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Against city ordinates, an old woman was keeping chickens in her suburban back yard. One escaped, and there was no where else to go.

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oh, brown loaf is fine, i'm on my bike.

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What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put C where A is. :D

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What did one dead baby say to another dead baby? Nothing... they were dead.

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?? Cause he got hit by a bus.

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What's worse than Hitler killing six million Jews? All of the Jews. --ZeNaziGermanDoctior

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How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

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A black car pulls up early in the morning and slows down by your house You see him pull a mysterious object out of his car and point it at you, The paper boy tosses a newspaper at you

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if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus unable to speak or comprehend the complexities of conversation, does not reply and shits on the floor.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. wow i missed the entire purpose of this.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Depends on the polar bear and its dietary habits

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Why did the man yell? Cause he wanted to!

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what is white on top and black on the bottom? society... ha ha

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Why did anna stop wanting to build a snowman? Beacuse she died of cancer.

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How do you make a drug dealer cry? Just say no

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops