What did Joe get for his first birthday? Nothing he died at birth

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you drown a blonde. I recommend that you do not drown a blonde because it is a felony. You could face 30-35 years in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? A cone

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A black man texts his wife to tell her that he is going to be late coming home from work.....Just kidding, pay phones cannot send text messages.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's sad about four children going over a cliff in a car ? Four children just went over a cliff in a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whats so funny about the women bringing fast food home for her family? Nothing shes a single mother who does'nt have time to make food between her two jobs.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

thumb_up thumb_down -13

My girlfriend told me I couldn't satisfy her sexually. I told her she was beautiful and gave her flowers.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call an old lady walking down the street? Widowed.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a white hankerchief dipped into the red sea? Wet.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

One morning a guilty man reluctantly told his wife he was having an affair. After a long awkward silence they were then abducted by aliens.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was the drunk man arrested? he beat his wife and was sentenced too 3 months in federal prison

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did Billy fall off his bike? He tried to kill himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Wanna hear a dirty joke? The pig rolled in the mud!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man walks into a bar. He tricks a lady into smelling a rag doused with chlorophoam, and rapes her.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

thumb_up thumb_down -13

one time at band camp there was a guy guess what he played? no one knows

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the kid lose his mom? She was shot.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A black man and a white man enter a public toilet. They both begin to pee at the urinals. The whiteman peers over to the blackman mid-pee. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype and then blushes embarassed by his own latent homosexuality. They both leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep later that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because his body shut down due to the fact that a bullet went straight through his brain. This happened before he could even order his ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How did the guy survive the plane crash? He didnt, He died like everybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops