When life hands you lemons you can't make lemonade, Sugar and Water are two other key ingredients that were not included with the lemons.

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A man walks into a bar after a hard day of work, and he meets this girl and they really kick it off, so the girl says, "lets go somewhere more, private" and they both go to a more secluded bar that has less decibels of noise.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because her dad pushed her too hard -Knock knock -Who's there? -Suzie, I'm dead now with a knife through my neck and I'm ready to kill you since you didn't forward that chain letter, now hold still so I can chop off your toes one by one and peel your skin off then leave a bloody mess for your parents -k

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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What did the dog do in the phone booth? Nothing, as dog do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grip objects. The previous user must have left the door open and the dog walked in, only to leave a few moments later.

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Whats worse than the Holacaust? Stepping on damn Lego's. MrBounty44

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What looks good hanging from trees? Spanish moss.

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what happened when joey asked the teacher to go to the restroom? The Teacher said "yes you may go to the restroom," not even putting into consideration that joey was a ginger and discriminating him because of it.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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An Asian girl is playing with a rubber band. She accidentally slings it into her eye, cries, and receives immediate attention from her mother.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

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Why did dallin fall off the swing he got hit by jds big penis

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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Why was a black man in a prison cell? He was a highly respected plumber fixing a prisoner's faulty toilet.

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Why did the Mexican man grow a mustache? It wasn't his choice. Men naturally grow facial hair and he ran out of razors.

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Irish man English man and a Scottish man all in a plane they jump out then they land

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What's the difference between cancer and my grandmother? She doesn't have cancer.

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?? Cause he got hit by a bus.

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knock knock whos there? your mom really? well whats she wearing a refridgerator.

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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Where does a one-legged waitress work? Wherever she can get good health insurance.

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"I just don't understand the difference between yours and mines." "Well, you see, yours belong to you, whereas mines explode when you step on them."

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Yo mama so old when I slapped her on the back her tits fell off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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