Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: I didn't get to ask. He got hit by a car.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house... Knock, knock Who's there? The chicken.

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A new pair of shoes

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A Jew walks into a bar........... he buys it.

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What do you call a fat computer? Adele :)

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Why was Timmy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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knock knock whos there the game __i lost the game__

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Unfortunate

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what happened to the kid who opened the goldfish? he got eaten by a cixelsyd dinosaur

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, what can I get you?" He is then checked into the psychiatric ward at the local hospital, for talking to a duck.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? I shot him in the face.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink Bartender: Why the long face Man: My wife was recently killed in a horrible car accident Bartender: Oh my god, I'm so sorry Man: Jks I have AIDS

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If you eat a brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundae, your tastebuds will likely turn purple and move to France, where people don't eat brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundaes.

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Roses are red and so is venus now kneel down and suck my penis:)

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What do you get when you mix a turtle and a dog An animal

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Why does the Green Giant's vegetables taste funny? He stands over his peas and corn.

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Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

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What's the best part of the 1980s? They're over.

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what did your mum say when she ran into chuck norris? hello chuck norris

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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How many dinosaurs does it take to fill a pool? I don't know and no one will know as they are extinct organisms

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

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quantum physics?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops