What did the homeless man do with his trolley of aluminium cans He took them to the scrapyard and sold them back for money as this is his only source of income right now

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american idol

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A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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A woman stopped making sandwiches.

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A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms Why couldnt he get up? He had no legs What did the boy get for Christmas? Cancer What did the boy get for Easter? A funeral Knock, knock Who's there? Not the boy.

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what would george washington do if he was alive today? he would scream and scratch his coffiin

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Why did the woman stop making a sandwich for her husband? Because he's dead.

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

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If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

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Why'd the guy fall off the building? I pushed him

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Why did the blind man laugh at the book. He didn't

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

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Your mommas so dumb she had to climb a glass wall to see what was on the other side! But the glass was slippy so she never saw what was on the other side.

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A guy is at a party and he's really thirsty, so he goes to get a drink. He goes to get some soda, but the line is too long. He goes to get some water, but the line is also too long. He goes to get some punch, and it turns out there's no punch line.

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Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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