Why didn't the lttle boy fasten his seatbelt? It doesn't matter, it's too late now.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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Your momma is so fat, shes skinny.

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why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms why did suzie get hit by a bus? she was blind knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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whats yellow and very big? I dont know. no one will tell me

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Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

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Why did the old lady talk to a tree? She had Alzheimer's and was going to die.

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Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

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So yesterday i walked into a bar, so what?

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Three guys walk into a bar: a Priest, a rapist, and a pedophile...and two other guys

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Q: If you are debating whether to smoke marijuana, consider: what will your mother say when she finds your corpse? A: As a relatively harmless and non-addictive substance, Marijuana was most likely not the cause of my child’s death. It was probably AIDS.

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What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

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The man was so nice It's too bad he couldn't hear the bus coming.

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Dementia.

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What's John Lennon doing these days? Decomposing.

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Q: whats the difference between a shoe and a ginger? A: shoes have soles.

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A Jew was walking home one night when two thugs leapt out of the darkness and demanded his money and other possessions at gunpoint. A reflection of how dangerous our streets can be at night.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. The fight began and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing you say when you don't want to fight anymore and you let the other person win?" The other guy says to the challanger, "I give up?" Then the challenger yells. "I WIN!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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