What do you call it when the Doctor goes back in time to meet himself? A pair o' Docs. What do you call it when Shaquille O'Neil goes back in time to meet himself? Shaquille O'Neil can't go back in time.

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What's better than a stick? A stone

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se* is like math add the couple minus the clothes add the cream and just hope they dont multiply

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why did the little girl scream?She was afraid of clowns and hated small cars running around a tent at 6 o'clock at night

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your brother so fine that hes skinney

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Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

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What did the zero say to the eight? I don't know,numbers are inanimate objects so they can't talk.God, what did you think?

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how do you stop a black man from drowning take your foot off his head

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Two guys fight over a girl. The girl gets up from under them.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Disreguard Females Aquire Currency

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Why do white people drive big trucks? 'Cause they can afford it.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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What did the bolt say to the wall?? nothing ,they just screwed.

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What does an orange and a lemon have in common? They are both orange, exept lemon

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I was there when Lebron James hit a home run to win the Super Bowl.

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Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? ... To get to the bottom.

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Jon walked into a bar. Ouch.

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What did Bob say at Fred's house? "I know where Fred lives."

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Why do Jews fast for Yom Kippur? It's part of their tradition.

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How do you make a mime make noise? Throw a brick at his face

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There's a blind man walking on the south coast of England. He walks off a cliff.

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Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike? Because Lucy didn't like Mia and shot her in the face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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