Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

Chuck Norris once jumped off of a 9 story building. He broke half of the bones in his body because he is 71 years old.

If I said you had a beautiful body would you stop asking me if those jeans make you look fat?

A Rabi, a priest, and a monk all go to different churches because they all have different beliefs an respect each others decisions.

Spot the mistake: a) x+2= 5 => x=3. b You.

A duck walks into a convenience store and asks for a tube of chapstick.He says "Put it on my tab".

How do you survive the zombie apocolypse? You avoid dieing or being mutated in the living dead.

What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: I didn't get to ask. He got hit by a car.

What's white and looks like paper? Paper

As we had been trying for some months now, I called my wife to ask her the result of her pregnancy test. A stranger answered and promptly told me she was killed in a car crash.

Have you seen stevie wonders new house No Niether has he

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

I was going to type an anti-joke but I totally forgot how it starts. It goes something like something something something something something your mom's a whore.

A guy punched himself. He then said ouch.

Why shouldn't you tell a joke during an earthquake. Cause it is not the time nor the place to tell a joke

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas many gift card to stores he liked

Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

Why does the black man take drugs. Because he is very sick.

What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way. ernkso

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Enough.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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