Why do midgets laugh when they run? The grass tickles their balls.

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George Washington delivered a short speech to his troops before they crossed the delaware river. Here it is: "Get in the boat."

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what’s worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? one dead baby in 12 trash cans

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Your momma's so fat she has a hard time finding clothes to fit

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whats the easiest way to kill a baby? let it live a long and meaningful life, prolonging the inevitable death of old age.

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What's worse than finding ants in your kitchen? A truckload of dead babies.

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles there balls

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,What would you call Morgan Freeman if he was White? Morgan Freeman

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What do you get when you combine lemons, sugar and water? Lemons, sugar, and water

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Which came first? The chicken? Or the egg? Whichever one was more sexually excited i guess.

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Johnny fell out of the window. Except he didn't fall I pushed him

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When is the only time you see a Mexican and Black person driving together ? When they feel like it .

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are potentially dangerous weapons that may inflict bodily harm.

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Donald Trump decided to run for President.

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing, you should call a local animal rescue number and care to its needs.

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White men's rights

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Why would you kill a black man? Well, murderers have different motives, the most common of these are revenge or a psychological illness.

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Hey how is your wife and my kids

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Q: What's worse than your parents dying in a car crash? A: You were in the backseat and saw your mother plead your father to slit her throat witht he broken glass because her legs were brushed and a windshield wiper was shoved in her kidney. As you stared on in pure horror, your father did as she asked with much contemplation. An ambulance arrives moments later. In the hospital, you tell your dad that you hate him for killing mom. You run away and he dies overnight due to heart failure. Yo suffered paralysis and now and are confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your natural life and are sent away to a born-again foster care home where you are never adopted.

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A lion, a leopard, a sheep, and a flesh eating New Zealand parrot stalk, trot and fly, respectively, into a bar. The parrot lands on the the sheep's back and begins to tear into its flesh in order to reach the succulent deposits of fatty tissue located around the sheep's kidneys. "Ouch!" Said the sheep. "Why would you do that? Oh, the pain! The pain!" "Squak!", Replied the NZ parrot, wiping blood of its sharp, hooked beak on the counter. "I think," Began the lion, "This parrot from New Zealand is hungry for fat from a sheep's soft, woolly back." The sheep's wool was now damp with blood. "Perhaps this parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from its soft woolly back." "Ah!" Said the sheep. "This parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from my soft woolly back!" "Yes", Replied the lion. "You could also say..." Started the sheep, "That an NZ parro-" The sheep did not finish his sentence. He died from his wounds. The lion left. The parrot flew off to tear up some windshield wipers. And the leopard stashed the sheep carcass in a tree branch for later consumption.

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A wise man once said a journey of a thousand steps starts with one step. The wise man also smoked weed and starved to death in a cave.

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A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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