Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

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Why does a new mother have big jugs? Her baby died of Sudden infant death syndrome.

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Why can Michael Jackson no longer moonwalk? because he's dead.

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Got a card in the mail from my estranged uncle today. Yep.

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Q: How do you stop a black man from drowning? A: Quit peeing in his mouth.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

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What's big or small, can come in different colors, and would kill you if it was forced inside you? A refrigerator.

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Why is it okay to have four cats? Because I said so.

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Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

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How can you tell if a woman is stupid? Yell the word "STUPID'' and see if she turns around.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm allergic to both Now I'm dead

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What's the difference between a bench and a black guy? A bench can support a family

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What did Hitler say to Mussolini? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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Dont listen to your heart all it dose is BEAT BEAT BEAT

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Your mother is so stupid that she had to study, a lot.

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really? are people insistantly so totally stupid? Now read that again and you may notice something. :P

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guy walks into a bar.... Ouch.

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what's black and hangs from a tree in my garden? a blackberry

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why didn't the chicken cross the road?!

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

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what is the difference between gravel and dead baby guts? i dont eat gravel.

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Q. what happend to the guy who walked by an alley in new york? A. he got beat up by a robber wich took hes money, cellphone, keys and his abillity to walk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops