yo mamma so fat she should probably look into a clinical weight loss program and exercise daily.

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How many gun shots does it take to kill you? 1..2... 3...4... Samantha reapeatedly kept shooting her enemy until she noticed that her enemy was Chuck Norris. So how many gunshots does it take to kill Chuck Norris? The world may never know.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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We got him in about five minutes, the kid will already be exhausted by the point we get to him, r rather, he gets to us. Pretty quick for a small geek I got to say, the photography we got of him is an obvious Photoshop, but he seems similar enough I guess. I would call, but it seems someone has been messing with all other "Erron`s" homes and phones if I had not dropped mine, I would not have noticed we have been bugged for a while, pretty professional gear too,

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Corvette? What? I don't have a Corvette in my garage Wanna hear something gross? Sure. 1 at the bottom is still alive. Wanna hear something grosser? Yea. It's eating its way out

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How can you make a Russian happy? Giving him two tickets for him and his wife to Disneyworld.

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A man with a PhD walks up to a college student and jokingly says "Hey dude, what did the hat say to the other hat?" The student replies "My name is Joe and a hat does not have a mouth, therefore it cannot speak." The student is then unimpressed on how uneducated the man is, also worring about how the man was able to receive a PhD.

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Q.whats black and white and red all over A. half a zebra

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. You're adopted.

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i bought a knock-knock joke book, and was unamused.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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What's big, black, and just knocked an 8 year old girl off of her bike? The refrigerator I just threw at her. (not all are white you know)

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor, beause he was feeling really crumby...becuase he has testicular cancer

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

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Where do you find a ocean with no water. on a map. thumbs up for great jokes. please

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If you spill milk Don't cry over it..... Clean it up.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I have a dead body, What do I do.

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart. I am still waiting for a transplant.....

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why did the blind kid cross the road... because he was sick of being blind

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Roses are red Violets are blue We decapitated some little children Now I'm in jail too.

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What do you call a black man at KFC? A customer.

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What's Black, white, green, and red? To bloody zebras fighting over a pickle

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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