Q: Why is daddy wrestling mommy? A: Well Jimmy, that is called sexual intercourse. That is how you were created, and many people of all ages engage in this activity every second.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I chucked a shit and flushed the toilet.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is both blind and deaf, and doing so would put others in danger.

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Why can't so many guys get it up? Because erectile dysfunction affects 30 million men nationwide.

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Why is the baby not crying? Because it died of herpes. JUST KIDDING! Babies can't get herpes.

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven, one muffin says to the other; boy it's hot in here. the other other muffin doesn't reply because it's a muffin, muffins don't talk. Now consider that the first muffin was a squirrel, A TALKING SQUIRREL!

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Did you see my sandwitch? No. I am your sandwitch, and therefore no one thought to put me up to a mirror. Would you like me to? No. I have no eyes. And why are you talking to a sandwitch??? ...

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners unfamiliar with the Latin alphabet.

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what's 2 + 2 ? 4, unless you add it up wrong.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Super Monkey Ball Deluxe. Super Monkey Ball Deluxe who? Oh no.

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Why did the man cross the road? He was in a state of depression and chose to commit suicide.

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A black man walks into a bar. The barman says 'We don't serve your kind here'. The man leaves and goes to a nearby bar that doesn't have racist staff.

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Whats cooler than cool? nothing because cool does not have a defined temperature therefore nothing can be cooler than it.

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There were two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Does it feel hot in here?". The other muffin says back, "Holy crap! It's a talking muffin!".

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why was the black kid made fun of at school? Because he was a nerdy boy who drinks tea

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Why doesn't the farmer have a dog? He doesn't like dogs.

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Why is nate asian? no one knows neither of his parents appear to be of asian desent

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George Lopez never said anything funny in his life.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he was on his wheelchair.

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Sarah Palin.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was a woman

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what sucks blows and gets laid in the closet. YOUR MOM VACUMING

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what is green and red and goes 100 miles per hour? frog in a blender

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Q. Why doesn't a woman need a wrist watch? A. Because they're actually becoming generally obsolete with the advent of the cell phone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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