My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why was the uneducated black guy raped? To make this joke more risky and therefore funnier.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what did the anorexic girl eat today? nothing..

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Holocaust jokes are in bad taste, Anne Frankly I won't have any of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did Romney loose the election? Because Obama had more votes

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Johny got a iphone ipad and a macbook. He bragged to his friend. His friend said, i got an apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock Knock! Who's There? Billy Sup Billy, come on in!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A Black man, and Jewish man, and a Asian man walk into a bar. They then proceed to buy a drink, leave the bar, and move on with their day.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall? A: Fish don't have vocal cords that allow them to speak in a way discernable by humans, and if they did, it would just sound garbled and bubbly due to their being underwater.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

"Knock knock," said the guy about to deliver a knock knock joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Where is boots, Dora asks Why the hell are you asking me when your the one who is with him.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the baby fall off the swing? Because i hit it with a bat.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops