Why was the boy sad? I don't know, what do think I am? An umbrella? Why would you even think FOR A MOMENT that it's OK to just ASK me random stuff? Do you have ANY IDEA who I am?! I'm your worst nightmare, and if you ever ask me ANYTHING without permission again, or so help me I will drown the nearest pet goldfish. P.S. His cat died.

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Q: why does batman die in the end of dark night rises? A: he smoked got cancer and died.

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What goes up and down but never physically moves? My grade.

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How are friends and bananas alike? If you peel their skin and eat them they die.

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How can you outsmart Stephen Hawking? Steal the wheels of his chair and replace them with a dolphin.

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Joe has 30 candy bars and eats 25. What does john have now? DIABETIES. Joe has diabeties. Please comment!!!!!!!

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How do you kill Glenn Campbell? Stab him with a screwdriver.

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There once was a man from Peru, he couldn't fit into his shoe. He went to Brazil bought a big. Swallowed it and died.

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A. Why did the boy cross the road? B. Why? A. I don't know! That's why I'm asking you.

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What did the aliens say when they first landed on planet Earth? We've come back for Anthony Davis.

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What do you call a black man eating fried chicken? A black man eating fried chicken.

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what goes in hard and comes out soft? bubblegum, what were you thinking?

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What do you call a Knight who farts a lot? Sir Farts-a-lot

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Q: What do you say when you see your T.V. floating at night? A: That's so frickin awesome

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the other kids at recess? I chopped her legs off.

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John said: "This roller coaster makes me green." HIs mother replied: "That's because you have leprosy."

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why cant the kid find any friends? he was stranded in a desert.

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What's worse than crying over spilt milk? The Holocaust.

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A black man walks into a bar and orders a shot. He then precedes to drink it.

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What shoots rockets but is not classed as a deadly weapon? A toy rocket launcher, I lied about the rockets.

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Knock knock Who's there? Orange That's impossible...

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A priest and a rabbi walks into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "is this some kind of joke?".

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Hey babe, do you like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people? Because I like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people.

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Shelly tells Rob to go home... Thats what she said

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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