A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

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Christopher Reeve walks into a bar.

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Steve is getting paid $29.50 to bounce a ball Steve is getting fired monday

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There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. But everything turned out alright, as the fly was dissolved by stomach acid.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Q: Whats a spanish teacher who cant speak spanish A: duhh. it called an english teacher

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What's red and fun to drink through a bendy straw? Period blood

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There are fewer coppers on sundays. As well as criminality.

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Why did the ANTI-JOKE book cry? -It wasn't funny

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Why was the girl distressed by the photo of her boyfriend's mutilated corpse? Because it was out of focus.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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i'm hard

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Why did the woman go in a elevator with Ray Rice? Because they were both going to the 25th floor and stairs would take too long.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Enough.

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What is the difference between Julis Ceaser, and the moon? The moon is covered in rocks and craters, and Julis Ceaser is DEAD

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer, the bartender quickly takes out a shot gun and shoots the horse because he is secretly dealing horse meat to tescos

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a muslim cleric walk into a bar. In Syria. Dead children.

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a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

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What's the difference between 10 dead baby's and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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george goodburn is secretly mexican

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Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

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what is the best way to start a car? put in the key and turn it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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