A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink.

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Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

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Why was the cancer ward sad? They just lost a patient who couldn't ward off cancer.

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What do you call a a chinese abortion? My dinner

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Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Can Anti-Jokes censor curse-word tenses? Fuck Fucking Fucked Fucks

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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They say time heals all wounds, yet my leg still had to be amputated.

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My favorite part of the movie Frozen is when the parents die.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw a lightbulb? None, they couldn't cross the border.

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What did 4 Year Old Jonny get for his birthday? Death.

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Why did the boy show off his ps4? Because his mom was rapped and murdered And his dad molested him when he was younger

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What do you call Jack Black on a bad day? Kevin Hart.

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Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant monkey

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Grace Ackerson

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Snake: YES muahaha Eve eat the fruit from the three of wisdom muahahaha! Why do you not share with Adam? Muahahaha! Snake: Why is nothing happening? Then the sky opened and a heavenly voice spoke: "Well as long as none eats fruit from the three of KNOWLEDGE... Hmm, I better get rid of it altogether..." Snake: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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what did the maker of anti jokes website say while reading some of the jokes on here? these people r idiots. and he lived happily ever after. then died. Good one

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27

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when life gives you lemons throw them away.. they are probably bad

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Q: How Do you make a baby be quiet? A: slowly chop it's head off with a blunted axe once it's head is off eat it

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Why did Rachel fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Rachel.

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What did Marshawn Lynch say? Yeah

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how did the little black boy cross the river? he walked over the bridge.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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