But there's a sound Dumbledore knows... What does the Fawkes say?

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why did your mum die young because she had canser

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"I want a boyfriend for these cold winter nights" ... Shut up you slut go buy a blanket.

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what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

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Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

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Q: Why does the blonde have the biggest tits in the third grade? A: Because she's 21

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? Actually it's my cookie jar, and my cookies. I stole nothing.

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You know what's funny? Rape

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a horse walks into a bar. Noticing the potentially dangerous situation everyone leaves, the bartender calls RSPCA who come and retrieve the horse and order is restored.

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What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident

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whats red and green and has 8 wheels. a stick

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what do u call a black guys dick a pogo stick

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

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What do all homosexuals have in common? Not much.

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your face

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A priest sneeks in to a pre-school and is arrested shortly after for tresspassing.

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What's worse than finding out your husbands gay...........finding out he's gay with your brother"

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What do you call a bunch of Cubans on a boat in the Gulf of Mexico? A guy who just so happens to own a boat and is on a fishing trip with his buddies. -Mitch Hastings

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Yo mama's so fat, that when she jumped, gravity pushed her back to the floor!

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Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

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what did the maker of anti jokes website say while reading some of the jokes on here? these people r idiots. and he lived happily ever after. then died. Good one

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Why is the bowler right handed? He has no left hand.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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