What's worse than the common cold? The Plague.

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why did susie fall off the dollar coaster? it only cost 50 cents susie is gone now

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Why is Tommy dead? Because he died.

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So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

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How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

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a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

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*there was a tv sitting on the side of the road..* person 1: hey why doesn't that tv work? person 2: because it's broken?? person 1: no..because its not plugged in!

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The police catch them, and they are sentenced to jail.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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What happens when you run over a black man? It is most likely that he is killed.

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What do you call an Asian guy doing homework? A student

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Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

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Why did the father leave work early on his son's birthday? He was rushed to the hospital after facing a severe heart attack due to a history of cardiovascular disease in his family.

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Why did Jimmy's mom cry? She got stabbed in the arm and was suffering while bleeding to death.

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why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he wanted to walk and the road was the only available place to do so

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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I went to the local RSPCA office today....it's tiny, you couldnt swing a cat in it.

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why did my BFF hate me?i called her an idiot on all the holidays including her birthday

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Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

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Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he's working out.

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Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

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Why was the man walking down the street late at night? Because he's homeless and has nowhere to stay.

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Q. want to hear the biggest lie in the world ? A. sure A.I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops