A man walks into an exam room for a doctor's appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A bar walks into a man... The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs. The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar. The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood. The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily. Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do Michael Jackson and most Catholic priests have in common? They're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what did the chinese man say to the convicts at the side of the road? so long gay boys what did the convicts do to the chinese man? nothing he was in a car

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A young boy is crying in the park, when priest walks up to him -What's the matter son? -My parents died in a horrible car accident 2 weeks ago and now i'm held in an abusive household.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no sense And it doesn't rhyme either

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock knock. Who's there? To To Who? To Whom.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was the black person assassinated behind a drug dealers house? He was purposely shot in the leg and bled out before he could make it to help.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I like my coffee like I like my slaves... Free

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the german killed the jew? Because he was nazi.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why do chickens have feathers? Because chickens are birds and birds have feathers.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

people say i have big feet but you know what the say about people with big feet? :) big socks. sl

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How did the boy get a bruise? His mum threw a fridge at him! How did the boy get a big graise? He got mulched! Why did the boy get molested? Because he was naked in Mr. Molestogiacomo's house!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Guns don't kill people, books kill trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew? One comes back from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the little orphan girl get for christmas? nothing her parents are dead

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's better than winning the Special Olympics? ...Not being retarted.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

2 guys walk into a bar the third one ducked then proceeded homeward where he murdered his whole family by ax

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops