Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why did the woman stop making a sandwich for her husband? Because he's dead.

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what would george washington do if he was alive today? he would scream and scratch his coffiin

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

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If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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Why'd the guy fall off the building? I pushed him

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Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

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Why did the blind man laugh at the book. He didn't

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

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A guy is at a party and he's really thirsty, so he goes to get a drink. He goes to get some soda, but the line is too long. He goes to get some water, but the line is also too long. He goes to get some punch, and it turns out there's no punch line.

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Your mommas so dumb she had to climb a glass wall to see what was on the other side! But the glass was slippy so she never saw what was on the other side.

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a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

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Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

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What did the man say when he found a bar of soap in his mailbox? Why is there soap in my mailbox?

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A blonde dies Lololol

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what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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Person 1: What do you get when you cross a cow and your mom? Person 2: What? Person 1: A cow that looks like your mom

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You know what rhymes with sloth? Rape.

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whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

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What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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