What is round and bad-tempered? A vicious circle

Wayne Rooney's face and intelligence.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was booted into the air by a screaming Russian osselot.

Why is bobsledding the coolest sport? Because this is my subjective opinion.

Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

Why did Santa die? Because he got diabetes from so many cookies

My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

Q: Whats worse than spilling milk? A: Cancer Q: Whats worse than cancer? A: Rebecca Black

What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

Knock Knock Who's there? Sorry, wrong house.

What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

why did Sarah fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? not sarah

Text this number just cuz 16305208722

What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping cart? One holds groceries. The other molests small children.

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Someone said "catch" and threw a bowling ball at him.

Bob: I have a funny knock knock joke, but you have to start it. Joe: Ok. Knock Knock. Bob: Who's there? Joe: Uhhhhhhh Bob: Exactly.

dont you hate it when your reading something and it doesnt end the way you cactus

whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? thier skin tone.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

Texter 1: Hey, do you want to hang out? Texter 2: Sorry dude, i lost my phone, i'm trying to find it Texter 1: Ok, text me when you find it Texter 2: OK

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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