How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

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Why did mallisa get to go to the bar instead of jeremy... jeremy has prostate cancer and he needs to be examined every 2 1/2 minuites plus he's 7 years old.

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Yo momma's so fat that when she asked the doctor, he said she could have such bad cardiovascular problems if yo mamma keep the typical sedentary habits, wich consist in a diet with a lots of fat and sugar, the lack of physical exercise and genetical characterists which make a person get fatter more easily.

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my mom texted me telling me that my dog died... then she texted me the letters LOL... i texted back asking wat was funny!? she thought it ment 'lots of love' :p

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 8

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Why do dragons shoot fire? I don't know, I'm asking you the question.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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What did the french toast say to the french fry? I don't know, I don't speak french.

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TRENT EGENLAUF IS a LITTLE BOY

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what do you get when a white woman and black man have a child? either a girl or a boy

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I don't often drink beer, but when I do, I make the poor decision to attempt to drive while intoxicated, kill a pedestrian, and end up in jail with a hangover, a DUI, and an account of vehicular homicide. Don't drink and drive simultaneously.

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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Q: Why did the man cross the road? A: Cause he felt like it.

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Q: what do you call a hooker you pay in spaghetti? A: a pasta-tute.

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your mommas so fat she should be worried about getting diabetes

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Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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A man walks into a sofa. BANG

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Why won't Santa be delivering presents this year? Because he can't be bothered.

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Why is the boy home alone on Friday night? Because Hitler took he's parents away.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? You eat them.

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How do you get Doctor Phil in a bikini? Give him a little alcohol to ease inhibitions and offer him a suitable bribe.

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What is terrible and doesn't exist? This joke's punchline,

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Why do so many people enjoy these jokes. They are funny

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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