Two men walked into a bar. Only one came out. What happened? One Passed out.

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Why did the boy get hit by a bus? Because he was standing in front of the bus.

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Thanks, I admire your sincerity, and I am happy to see that I got a lot more in common with you, than with well, my nerdy and geeky friends, which are not reading this here and now unless they are going against their orders and messing up their own work schedule. I just want you to know that I have fallen in love with you Nero, and if that is a problem for you, please let me know ASAP.

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You can pick your nose and you can pick your friends but you can't wipe your friends on the couch.

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What happened when Tim's house caught on fire? The fire department was contacted and they put the fire out.

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Why did Jennifer shit herself? Because there was a black man staring through her window!

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You know your in deep shit when you hit somebody in the head with a 2 by 4 and they dont go down.

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What did the Mexican, the European, and the Canadian all have in common? They weren't used in this joke the last time someone posted it on anti-joke.com.

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Superman and Batman get in a fight, who wins? No one the world has just lost a superhero.

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God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

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Whats the difference between a Corvette and a dead bag of babies. -there's not a Corvette in my garage

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Have you heats about the Guy who's parents died in à car crash... No He killen himself because of hus parents Deathstars

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

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What does the kitty say to his owner? you've CAT to KITTEN right MEOW

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What happens when an alien touches fire? It gets burnt

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What is black, white, and red all over? A zebra that was shot by poachers.

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why am I who i am, and you are who you are? dick spice

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Roses are red, Here's something new. Violets are violet, Not f***ing blue.

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There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

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What's the difference between a chicken and a bartender? A chicken is a domesticated fowl, a subspecies of the red junglefowl. As one of the most common and widespread domestic animals, with a population of more than 24 billion in 2003, there are more chickens in the world than any other species of bird. Humans keep chickens primarily as a source of food, consuming both their meat and their eggs. A bartender is a person who mixes and serves alcoholic drinks at a bar. also bar-tender ; 1836, American English,

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what did the captcha response say to the man? ofdorno which.

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A coach walks into the team dressing room at halftime; his team is down 42-0. He screams at the players, "You guys are playing like a bunch of grannies. No offense"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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