What do you call a guy with an ax in his chest? An ambulance.

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A horse walks into a bar, prompting the show-jumping judges to subtract points for failing to clear the obstacle.

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what did Stan say to Dave? nothing, Dave died 500 years before Stan was born, thus he said nothing.

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Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

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Two Jewish men are walking when they see a penny on the ground. They continue walking because pennies are not worth picking up in today's economy

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

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What did nearly headless nick say when he became headless nick. Nothing because he doesnt have a head

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knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

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How many Japanese people does it take to make a whirlpool? - None, because they're all dead.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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A bartender walks into a bar. I know what you're thinking. You think he works there but that is not correct. He works at a different bar. Anyways, he buys a few drinks and leaves. He was impressed with the service.

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What do you get when you cross a hamster with a zebra? A genetic abomination that you should put out of it's misery.

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What did the boy say to the girl? I like you hi.

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An eleven year old boy walks into a bar... he is searching for his father, who has a known alchol problem, and has been missing for five days.

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How many babies can you fit in an oven? Depends how hungry you are.

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Why is Stevie Wonder called Stevie Wonder? Wonder where I am.

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How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

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A man was complaining about not getting enough sleep. He was then raped.

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In soviet russia, the cow milks you!

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How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

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NEVER

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops