69.

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Q. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car. A. Get in the car.

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Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? jhdfsuigtreyuiertfguiryhg

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What did the ginger say to god? Nothing it has no soul

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What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "come" on your face.

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What did the blonde call her pet zebra? Isaac

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"I just don't understand the difference between yours and mines." "Well, you see, yours belong to you, whereas mines explode when you step on them."

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Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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What did the bolt say to the wall?? nothing ,they just screwed.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Or so the tell me, Because I'm Blind

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Yo mama so old when I slapped her on the back her tits fell off.

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What did Timmy's mom think of his art project? Nothing, she screamed and called an ambulance because she saw that he had tripped and fallin onto a pair of scissors and they just so happened to peirce his heart.

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What does an orange and a lemon have in common? They are both orange, exept lemon

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boling water: why is it taking so long for you to get hard? egg: sorry, it's just because i recently got laid by a chick.

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Q: What happens when Lisa drops an iPad? A: She plays Desperado on the sax.

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I'm called the! no i wish am I left

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Whats the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? The Porsche isn't in my garage

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What happened when the man turned on his TV? It was tuned to the Discovery Channel

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What do you call a mexican with a driveable lawnmower? Rather wealthy.. He must have a secure job to pay for a home with a lawn, and a lawnmower.

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Did you hear the one about the koala bear that fell out of the tree? Yeah it died.

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob What do you call that same kid when he's at your doorstep? Matt What do you call that same kid when he's hanging in your room? I don't know, but you should stop calling him names.

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Knock knock (who's there) Orange ( orange who) orange you glad to see

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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