Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms Why couldnt he get up? He had no legs What did the boy get for Christmas? Cancer What did the boy get for Easter? A funeral Knock, knock Who's there? Not the boy.

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Have you ever had a traditional Ethiopian Dinner? Neither have they.

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Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

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Your mommas so dumb she had to climb a glass wall to see what was on the other side! But the glass was slippy so she never saw what was on the other side.

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When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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how do you know if your friend is your best friend? if he cries you cry, if he laughs you laughs, if he jumps out a window you laugh again.

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Knock,Knock Who's there? The Police, Your under arrest for urinating on a toliet.

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

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How many Jews can fit in a Volkswagen beetle? Four, although five is possible if you are not afraid of getting a ticket.

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When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

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Why is travis so funny? Trick question, He died of cancer 3 years ago.

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You know what rhymes with sloth? Rape.

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Roommate 1: I want to make food but I'm not going to Roommate 2: Why not? Roommate 1: Because I'm tired and lazy.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

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Many people dont know this about me, but I'm not very famous.

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What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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Q: What's worse than not having a good relationship? A: Starving Africans

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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