some weirdo nerd was just convicted of a hit and run Just kidding. All he did was suffocate your dad with a whoopee cusion.

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What's worse than requesting a three-some to your in-laws? Forgetting to suggest that they me too fragile and disabled, resulting in one of their limbs breaking.

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What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

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why did jenny drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock who's there? not jenny.

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What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

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Q: which is easier to unload a truck of dead babies or a truck of alove babies? A: dead babies cause u can use a pitchfork

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what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

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My closet is like the wardrobe to Narnia, accept my closet isnt a portal into a magical world.

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Why did the student fail his test? He forget to study for it the night before.

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roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

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Whats the difference between a monkey and a baby? Eating a baby tastes better with saltines.

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A man stops another man on the street in Manhattan and asks "How do I get to Carnegie Hall ?" The other man gives him direction, including which subway stop to get off at.

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Every circle of friends has a "crazy one". If you can't figure out who the "crazy one" in your group is... Try harder. Either that or you are a terrible judge of character.

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What looks like poo but is rainbow colored? Rainbow colored poo.

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Why do jews have large noses? Genetics.

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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Julian Ha.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The Pterodactyl species became extinct 65 million years ago, and thus if you saw one today, you would be immediately taken into a mental hospital.

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A girl is talking with her boyfriend - God, you're selfish!!! - No, i sell meat.

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-Whats this? -Anti-Jokes.. -Theyre not funny

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A woman walked into a college.....which wasn't suprising because she never learned to read

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: "There goes my income. I dont know how I'll support my family now, or keep my crops alive."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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