why was six afraid of seven? it wasn't. numbers dont have feelings.

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What's worse than crying over spilt milk? The Holocaust.

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How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

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Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an orange and finding a worm.

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Dude! That movie was so gay! It had a bunch of naked men having sex with other naked men!

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What would you call Martin Luther King Jr. If he was alive today? Alive

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what happened to the boy who got hit by a truck he went to the hospitel

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What more fun than a barrel full of monkeys? A barrel of dead babies

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What do you do with a wombat? Allow it to freely express instinctive behaviour in its natural habitat.

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How do you make a tissue dance? Tissues are inanimate objects, they cannot dance and thinking otherwise is foolish.

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Your mumma's so fat she is fat

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Don`t be mean? WOMAN! DO YOU NOT HOW TERRIBLE THE DEMAND YOU MAKE IS? ...Fine alright, I wont leave you hanging then... So I wont call. Moral: "Seriously though, I am leaving too, but I want the top comment"

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God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

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Tifa my ass, if that is your name buddy, then I am Nicholas Cage, or why do you not just call me Cloud Strife? Seriously, if you are a guy just say it and get lost, I will still honor my agreement and show up and see what I can do for your little order though, you pay the trip and the stay of course.

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What's the time when black men take over? Poor past never.

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Its Eliza, hope you are still there, would you mind getting here sooner? This site is not safe, besides its cold here, I mean send somebody else if you got to, I might look frail but Nero taught me a thing or two, so I can honestly say that Nero taught me better than you guys just in case. Funny you say there is no code, yet add three, yeah you better expect nothing "fancy", Mr.Torture dungeon master. Honestly though I do not blame you, and if I really meant you where a psycho, I would not have agreed/asked you showed up, I am serious I need to get out of here.

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Why did apple fall off the tree? Because Sally was holding on for dear life and she grab the apple. The apple was still in good condition; Sally however, not so good.

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A boy in Bible class was poking a girl in front of him with a pencil. Atfer, maybe ten minutes of this, she was asked "Sarah, what did Eve say to Adam after they had had twenty-seven children" The boy poked her with the pencil again. She stood up, and said "I think we have enough kids Adam."

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What did the kid with no arms get for his birthday? A sock puppet.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face?" the man replies, "my wife has terminal cancer and has been given 2 weeks to live."

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Q: What did Peter say after a long day of work when he got home? A: Nothing, in fact he has job, home, family, or anyone to help him. His leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

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How did little jimmy survive the plane crash? He ate all the survivors, then when the helicopter arrived he ate them too and took the helicopter.

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What's as hard as rock and as light as a feather? Any object in the space, once the lack of gravity makes atoms to have not weight, since mass x gravity equals to weight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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