what did the left foot say to the right foot? Nothing, feet don't talk

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Yeah your point? Anyway, so then the brain surgeon goes: I have have cut into thousands of brains, and never seen a single thought.

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How are this and that alike? They aren't.

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at chess ? Because he is dead.

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Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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Why did George Bush climb the Statue of Liberty? I'm not sure, as this incident is not covered in any of the myriad books written about his administration.

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A banana walks into a bar many people leave considering bananas certainly don't walk. many people are wondering if they are dreaming

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

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I AM SHOWERING IN THE BLOOD AND ORGANS OF ENDORPHIN RUSH IN ORDER TO APPEASE THE GODS KNOWN AS... ME, MYSELF, AND I!

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Whats the difference between a monkey and a baby? Eating a baby tastes better with saltines.

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Yes and no, you would have ruined what is beautiful yet different within your soul.

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Fiona: SHREK! WHERE WERE YOU TONIGHT? Shrek: Out clubbing with the boys. Fiona: What did you do. Shrek: Eat Jews. Borat: iz vedy naaace

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Confucius says... He with whom neither slander that gradually soaks into the mind, nor statements that startle like a wound in the flesh, are successful may be called intelligent indeed.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face" and the horse says "my wife just died of skin cancer."

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A Jew, an Irishman and a Russian walk into the bar and the bartender says, "Get the Hell out."

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How do you fix a chimpanzee? With a monkey wrench

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A man walks out of a bar. Gets in his car and crashes because drunk driving isn't safe.

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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Why does it get hot after a basketball game? Because of the crowd all breathing out carbon dioxide and the high level of activity generating excess body heat.

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Who won the race? I don't know look it up.

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How do you keep black people out of your backyard. A no trespassing sign.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names

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why is your grandfather climbing up a pole? hes not

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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