why did the baby fall down the stairs? i pushed it.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A Jew was walking home one night when two thugs leapt out of the darkness and demanded his money and other possessions at gunpoint. A reflection of how dangerous our streets can be at night.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is your favorite color???? My mom I got u s o godd.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: how do u make a fireman cry? A: set his wife on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did Jill fall off the swings? -Because she had no arms. Knock Knock? --Who's there? Not Jill. What did Jill get for Christmas? -What? I don't know. She couldn't open it.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

AAAnd that did not totally send a rush of sweet endorphin's up my spine, I think myself of as really really blunt, I value individualism rather than complete assimilation, I think that, if people want to hear my opinion, they ask me, and if they want to hear what they want to hear, they can ask... Pff, anybody else. I end up insulting a lot of people literally asking for it, but moments like these make it all worth it. I am also extremely superstitious, the catchphra states "Grain of salt" so I wont take your comment completely... I am just screwing around...

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: How many teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they just sit in the dark and complain about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

You go to the Anti Joke website, what do you find under the "newest" section? Black jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock, Knock Come in

thumb_up thumb_down +20

“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How many baby's does it to paint a wall red? It depends how many you throw.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Bacon makes everything delicious, yes? And coffee makes everything exciting, yes? Put the two together and you get a caffeinated porky roller coaster in your mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's red, white, and black, and spins around and around? A penguin in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +18

drugs.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the fish fly It didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's Brown and Sticky? A Stick

thumb_up thumb_down +18

knock knock Dave's not here.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

whats yellow and very big? I dont know. no one will tell me

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops