A man walks into a bar. He then says "ow".

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whats the difference between an orange and a dead baby? one is a tasty treat and the other is an orange

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Why was the ghast from minecraft crying? His family died

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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whats the difference between a black and a bunk bed? a bunk bed can support 2 kids.

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A woman walks out of the kitchen.

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sky silverstein

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Why from a friends phone? I demand a full explanation, here, you got my number, you got my home address, and who the hell was that crying little bitch on the phone? I got friends in the UK which owe me some money, and nothing to lose, if I have to take care of you before you take care of me and even possibly my wife in the crossfire, I will take you down and everything in my path! Moral: Got ya!.

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What did the doctor say to the lawyer? Nothing. They weren't even together. He was in the hospital saving people and the lawyer was in his office working on a case.

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What was the strangest part about meeting a girl called Suzie? She had arms.

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Why did the butcher have blood on his hands? He murdered his daughter.

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how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

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Why did the computer explode into a million peices? It was thrown off the Empire State building.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends, but most weigh around 775 to 1,200 pounds.

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I am strangling you. Do you see my arms? I AM FREAKEN STRANGLING YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

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Why did the black guy lose the race? He toke an arrow to the knee

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Why was Ethan talking to the potato? Because he is stupid.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Sex with helen keller.

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What's the best part of the 1980s? They're over.

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What is frowned upon no matter what country you're in? Sex on a plane.

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Have you heard about the awesome farmer? He was outstanding in his field. -ymda

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A boy walks up to a girl he finds attractive and says "You're body's kick'in! ... i mean...hey, do you know karate?"

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four blondes where on their way to disneyworld they see a sign that say disneyworld:left so they turn around wondering where disneyworld went

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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