Harry thrust his wand forward, "Expelliarmus!" Voldemort casually ducks, and fires a killing curse at our hero.

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why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

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A black man walks into a store with a gun. It is a gun store and he needs to buy amunition after using all of his to fend of a home invader, and protect his family. He lives in a bad area because he never went to college and cannot get a well paying job in this economy, so he can't afford to buy a house in a better area He then used the gun to rob a bank. He no longer lives in a poor area

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Your mom is so retard that she needs "special help" from medical professionals. :3 <33

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Why did the mokey board the westbound train? I said gray umbrella noodle head!

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What did the homeless man do with his trolley of aluminium cans He took them to the scrapyard and sold them back for money as this is his only source of income right now

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american idol

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A black man, a Mexican man, a white man, an Asian man, a priest, a rabbi, and a prostitute walk into a bar. It was a very popular bar.

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A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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A woman stopped making sandwiches.

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A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

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what would george washington do if he was alive today? he would scream and scratch his coffiin

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Why did the woman stop making a sandwich for her husband? Because he's dead.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms Why couldnt he get up? He had no legs What did the boy get for Christmas? Cancer What did the boy get for Easter? A funeral Knock, knock Who's there? Not the boy.

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whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

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Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

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Why'd the guy fall off the building? I pushed him

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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