When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Well, life isn't a physical being so chances are low that it will actually hand you lemons.

Why did the cow cross the road? He probably saw a delicious looking patch of grass on the otherside.

What do you call a man in a pool with no arms and legs? Bob

why didn't the Asian ask for a calculator cause he was doing the dishes and a calculator seemed inappropriate

Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and a Lepricon were driving 100 MPH towards a brick wall and crash into it. Who survived? No one, they all died due to the rate of velocity that the car was traveling at.

What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

Why did Michael Jackson become white? Because he likes to molest children.

How can you finally get your girlfriend to scream in the bedroom? Store the bodies there.

Why did humpty dumpty fall off a wall? Well it turns out that he was a raging psycopath. to add on, he was also a suicidal

Q: How to fit 10 babies in a suitcase? A: By blender Q: How to get the babies out of the suitcase? A: Using a straw.

What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

Why was the boy mentally retarded? Because his mother was a tree

What do u call a cripple Biv

Q: how do you fit 100 jews in a car A: 3 in the back one in the passenger seat and 96 in the ash tray

Why was Timmy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

what do u call a dumbass phone cia cias phone

Why did the hispanic buy a pepsi? Because he was thirsty.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He was perfectly happy where he was.

Rsoes are geern Voielts are ornage I'm colorbilnd and Dixlesic.

Micael Jackson enters a bar. Everyone screams, and then someone runs over and pulls the cheap mask off the impersonator's face. Michael Jackson IS DEAD, get over it

How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

Why couldn't the pirate boy see the movie? He was blind.

Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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