Who enslaves small people and forces them to work in his factory all year round in ridiculous outfits. Santa

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A muslim walks out of a plane.

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

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- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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What's red and can sing? Elmo

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What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

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How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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Knock Knock. Doors open

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

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What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

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What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

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Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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haiku's are funny. but sometimes they don't make sense. refrigerator.

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Why did Jill fall off the swings? -Because she had no arms. Knock Knock? --Who's there? Not Jill. What did Jill get for Christmas? -What? I don't know. She couldn't open it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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