What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile Get in the batmobile

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What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with a live one crawling out.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

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What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

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What's the difference between and orange? The horse wasn't wearing a saddle.

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Inbreeding is really funny if you think about...

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What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

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A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

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Why couldn't Jimmy breathe? He had a knife in his throat!

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Why can't Michel Jackson play chess? He's dead

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There is a blond and a burnette in a car. The blonde is driving. What a nice use of the carpool

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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Don't read this or I'll be angry ...…...... Darn you...

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What is worse then falling into a lava pit? Nothing you idiot.

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Whats blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.

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One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

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2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken a month off from working in their law firm. The mexican man, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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You know why they call me Scuba Steve? Because I Scuba Dive.

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A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

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why did the baby fall down the stairs? i pushed it.

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Have you seen stevie wonders new piano? No Well it's really nice

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON. And Michael Jackson was a child molester.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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