If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

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What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

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Committing Suicide #YOLO

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What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

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Q: What is white, and comes out of a woman? A: No, milk you perve

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How does a black guy in debt make money fast at the bank? He applies for a loan and conscientiously works hard to pay off the loan in turn, which he was lucky enough to get at a low interest rate.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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your skull would make a nice pen holder

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What is yellow and dangerous? Shark infested butter

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

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why did every one care when i killed my self they didn't

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Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

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A bomb went off in japan where did sally go Everywhere

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Q: What did blue say to red? A: Let's make some purple

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Feminism.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A Jehovah's witness.

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Why did the old man die? He was old.

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How far can a baby fly? As far as you can throw it.

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I may be ugly, but I'm also dumb.

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So there were these three guys on a plane, one with a ruptured hernia, one with a stomach infection and one with a raging case of gingivitis. Half way through the flight the pilot said, "unfortunately we will not it make to our destination... we are crashing." The three men then went to get the parachutes. they then say that there was only two. the man with the ruptured hernia picked one up and threw it out the door and pushed out the guy with the stomach infection. The guy with the raging case of gingivitis said, "why did you do that... we could have used that parachute!" the man with the ruptured hernia responded, "taco." and jumped out of the plane. the pilot then goes on the intercom and says," sorry. false alarm. we will not be crashing, please enjoy the rest of your flight."

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What do you not want to call a african american that begins with an N and ends with an R? A Neighbor!

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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