See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

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2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

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like most people my age. im 27

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Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

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How do you kill a black man wearing a bullet proof turbin? Shoot him anywere other then his turbin.

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How many Woman does it take to change a lightbulb? none they had a back up lamp

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i'm here at a school my friend is eats a pool fuck yeh

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Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

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What's the best example of an anti-joke? This one.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

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do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

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The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

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a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

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Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

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How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

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How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? None because alligators don't fly.

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A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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What happend when they were 3 guys in the air? They were skydiving

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Shltskc gw? G

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Girl Scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

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Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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