Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

roses are red violets are blue im a paki and you are a jew!

Who pushed joe off the building? Nobody. joe hated his life and wanted to die

what do you call it when everyone becomes tolerant about gender identity. whatever pronoun it prefers.

Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

Why is sally sad her parents abuse her daily

knock knock come in

Who won the championship last year? There was no championship

Why is the deer afraid of the hunter? Because he doesn't want to get shot.

How do you get Jake snow to shut up? Say shut up

What's worse than being short? Being a Tutsi in 1994.

Who wants water? I do.

What does Santa give to a naughty child who wants coal for Christmas? Nothing, Santa doesn't exist.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? It depends on their painting skills.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

How do you acquire a bomb? Go to the bomb store.

A Jew ran into a wall with a boner. He broke his nose first.

anti jokes are really funny

what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

A plane crashes in a polish cemetery the authorities have found 2000 bodies

Why is it OK to make fun of a deaf person? Because they can't hear.

How did the chicken cross the road? Assuming the vehicles yielded to the chicken, it looked both directions before crossing then proceded across the street while staying between the crosswalk lines until it had reached the other side of the road.

A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father ****s on his desk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...