- Anti Joke

Why did the chicken cross the road ( The chicken says) I dream of a world where a chicken can cross the road without having morals questioned.

Ian: Your Mama's so dumb, she tried to commit suicide off a sidewalk. Dan: Yea, and when that didn't work she hanged herself.

Why isn't the dog a rebublican? Because it's a dog.

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

What happens if you fall of a cliff You die

What did the caterpillar say to the robot? Nothing. Caterpillars do not have vocal chords and there are not, as yet, any truly portable robots capable of comprehending speech so to speak to one would be pointless.

PLEASE DONT READ THIS OR YOU'LL BE DIED IF YOU DONT THUMBS UP THIS LIKE POST THIS ON 20 MESSAGES OR YOU'RE BEST MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR LIFE WITHIN THE NEXT 7 DAYS

Q: What's worse than your parents dying in a car crash? A: You were in the backseat and saw your mother plead your father to slit her throat witht he broken glass because her legs were brushed and a windshield wiper was shoved in her kidney. As you stared on in pure horror, your father did as she asked with much contemplation. An ambulance arrives moments later. In the hospital, you tell your dad that you hate him for killing mom. You run away and he dies overnight due to heart failure. Yo suffered paralysis and now and are confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your natural life and are sent away to a born-again foster care home where you are never adopted.

Q: Why couldn't Billy breathe? A: Because when the truck ran over him his lungs were crushed.

A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

Why did the man kill himself? Because he had a gun

A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

So Superman walks into a bar right, WRONG, Superman flies into bar

What is the diffrence between you and I. I am not sure because i have not meet you yet

What's green and has wheels? The White House. I lied about everything, I'm so sorry.

Why did the man yell? Cause he wanted to!

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

Why was the baby flying? Because it's face was stapled to the propeller of a helicopter.

why did the chicken cross the road ...WHO FREAKING CARES!!!!

What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

What do you call Mexicans who go to jail? Criminals.

why did the chicken cross the road? who cares?