Roses are red, Violets are dead, I climbed through your window, I'm under your bed

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There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

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Knock knock Who's there Why? Why who? Why so serious?

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i know you talk the talk but can you talk the talk

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Three people walk into a bar. Eight people follow them. They all go back to Bob's house, except Anna, Jimmy, and Joe. TImes the amount of people going to Bob's house by four. Thats how many people get arrested at the end of the night. How many people aren't arrested? Do you even know why you read this? Get a life and go to an actual bar, a party and get arrested.

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Q:What did the boy do when his girlfriend cheated on him? A:He broke up with her because cheating is wrong and he deserves better.

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cccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccorn

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Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

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What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

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What did Timmy's mom think of his art project? Nothing, she screamed and called an ambulance because she saw that he had tripped and fallin onto a pair of scissors and they just so happened to peirce his heart.

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What does an orange and a lemon have in common? They are both orange, exept lemon

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There was a bunch of kids on a bus. One boy yelled "Look a squirrel!" Nobody saw it because he's dyslexic

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What do you say when you see a black guy? Hello,how are you today?

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What do you get when you cross a gay man with a chainsaw? A decapitated homosexual.

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How do spell____? awk moment when u try asking someone how to spell something over text but they have no idea what ur saying

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what do you call a dead man rolling down a hill on fire, being shot in the head, and strapped to a bomb Dead

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What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

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why did the chicken cross the road because on the other side his wife that he had loved for years was being tortured and he was trying to save her life.

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Two Chav's jump off a cliff who wins? Neither, the affects of gravity are equal despite the weight of said object.

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So a guy with alsimers walks into a bar........I forget the rest.

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What did the man with no head say to the women?

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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