Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know why.

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Why did the blond fall down? She died.

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Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

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A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

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Why couldn't Jimmy breathe? He had a knife in his throat!

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What do you call a black teen on Maury Povich? A mother.

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Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

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What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

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What do you call a cat at the bottom of the ocean? A cat.

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Steve Jobs is alive.

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What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

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do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

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why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile Get in the batmobile

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What long black and tasty? Licorice

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There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

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Why did the man cross the road? Because he was applying for a job that's building was located on the other side of the street.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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why was the little boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops