How did little jimmy survive the plane crash? He ate all the survivors, then when the helicopter arrived he ate them too and took the helicopter.

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Why did the pot-head have red eyes? He got soap in them.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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A man walks into a bar and says, "Hey, Jim, your wife just died from terminal cancer." Jim then says, "Cool. Hey, do you know if the games on tonight?"

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What is long and painful? It's a sword, get your mind out of the gutter.

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why was the man denied his teaching job? because he is a wanted cerial killer in 43 states.

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i look around to find that my air head is missing, i then figure out that i had eaten it.

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What do you do to a brain dead man to get his money? Pull the plug.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Cause he wanted to

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

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you can either take the test now or on monday. (hand movement)

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What did the mom say to her daughter? I love you.

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How do you scare a lawyer? Threaten to kill his family.

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Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?

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why did the magician stop doing magic ? he got hit by a bus and died

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A man walks into a bar. He realizes that he would need a designated driver if he would want to return home safely. So he then leaves.

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Q: what did Katy Perry say when someone told her that she was adaopted? A: That's not true, my parents took pictures of me in the hospital just minutes after I was born.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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What do you call a man who never farts in public? A private tooter!

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What do you call a girl who has recently been raped? Dead.

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What did the little boy do when he got his test grade? Cried, it was 0

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A raptor and a Tyrannosaurus Rex walk into a bar. Everyone runs for their lives as the dinosaurs ate everyone who was too slow.

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What does a blond do when she stops at a red light? She gets arrested.

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What did the black man say to the white man? "Hi"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops