Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

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Whats worse than the death of a celebrity? An anonymous person posting a joke on this site.

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Whats louder than a dinosaur? 2 Dinosaurs

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Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

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There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

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What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

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Two black guys were walking down a street to meet up a local drug dealer. Turns out the black guys were undercover cops who arrested the drug dealer and both recieved awards for finding the criminal.

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What city likes baseball the most? New York

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A manly man drives up in a yellow bug, What do the girls think? They think its very manly! (;

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but the real question is why there are two flies having sex inside a light bulb.

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There was once a really smart Hufflepuff.

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Why did the young boy drop his bus. He was hit by an ice cream.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

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What is square, brown, and smells funny? A box with a dead body in it.

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

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(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

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What long black and tasty? Licorice

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Hey Shea

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's really irrelevant when you realize this joke is about a suicidal chicken...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops