What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

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What is it... Michael J Fox has a small one, modonna doesnt have one, Arnold Shwatznegger has a long one, the pope doesn't use his, and bill clinton uses his a lot. A last name

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How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Your mamas so fat, she was self-conscious about her weight and became an antisocial vegetable.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a gardener

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A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

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You're mama's so stupid, she decided to go back to school and finish her degree in Russian Literature to improve her self-esteem and maybe -- just maybe -- save her marriage, which had been on the rocks, mostly due to her intolerable self-loathing.

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How many mentally challenged beings does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well one couldn't do it so adding more to the equation will only make it worse sir.

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what do you call something that dosint exist? nothing.

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What happened to George's pet rock? It ran away.

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A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

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How about that airplane food? Ive never been on a plane you tell me

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What do you get we you mix a ginger with gasoline? A forest fire.

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A man died in a sky-diving accident. What was the last thing that went through his mind before he died? His feet

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

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What do you call a black man backfilping off a roof The dark knight

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Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

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I contracted AID's from a prostitute So I went out and killed 4 gay since they are the most prominent carriers of the disease I also killed a black man I kill a black man everyday

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There's a blind man walking on the south coast of England. He walks off a cliff.

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Knock knock. Knock knock. Knock knock. I'm hammering nails. Knock knock.

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Why did the boy fail his midterm? he didnt study.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. But it was winter and they froze to death

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How many people are in the world? More than one. -David Papile

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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