Q: What's one thing that 5 out of 6 people always agree on? A: Gang Rape

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Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

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MURRRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Michael Jackson? Spelling.

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Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Monkey. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

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What do you do if your walking into a room full of Lions and Jaguars? You stop walking.

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69...you know how awkward this is now...

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What's big, black, and girls love to ride on? A horse

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

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What's the difference between a bench and a mexican? A bench is an inatimate object that people sit on and a mexican is a person of mexican descent

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I was runover.

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A naked man walks into a bar and is promptly arrested for indecent exposure.

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Knock Knock? Whos there? Not Madeleine McCann.

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Roses are red, My name is Dave, This poem makes no sense, Microwave.

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

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Why did the mouse cross the road? Because he had been attached to the chicken with a nail gun.

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What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

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What did Jesus say to the jews? Fuck you.

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What did the woman say to her abusive husband? You're hurting me.

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Why did Batman brush his teeth? So he wouldn't get bat breath

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a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

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How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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