Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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"Why is Barney purple and green?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way"

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Who enslaves small people and forces them to work in his factory all year round in ridiculous outfits. Santa

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why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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So a man walks into a bar, right?

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Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

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A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

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What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

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What's green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A pool table

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We can consider a wind turbine as a great ventilator that produces heat.

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Why did the black man sleep all day? He suffered from narcolepsy.

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Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I actually take my shoes off when I jump on the trampoline.

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What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

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What's the best way to get high without doing drugs? Jump.

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A man is talking to his friend. The man suddenly picks up a banana. He says "hello anybody there?" The banana says "yes." After a while of conversing, the man suddenly puts the banana down in a sad type of way. The man then says to his friend "I'm sorry, but your sun has just died in horrible accident.

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Why did the cookie shader Because someone dropped it

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Two black guys walk into a bar the bartender says get out

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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WHY DONT WE HAVE BOTH?

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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What's a vampire's favorite dessert? Vampire's don't exist What's Helen Keller's favorite dessert? Helen Keller doesn't exist

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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