roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

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How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem, Penis knuckle.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw a lightbulb? None, they couldn't cross the border.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. And that's when I found out my Uncle Ted was a cross-dresser.

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"I have a job perfromance review today!" Earl told his wife. "Good luck, I will make you a special dinner tonight," Melinda, his wife, responded.

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What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

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Roses are gray, violets are blue; I'm red-green colorblind so I occasionally have difficulty seeing most shades of red or green.

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How do you make Justin Bieber cry? You take away his marijuana.

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What's the scariest thing about the dark? There's a black man in my bed.

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What do you call it when an old person cuts off their fingers? Dementia

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What's the difference between my girlfriend and a dead baby? I don't make out with my girlfriend after sex.

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What color is a red house Red What color is a blue house Blue What color is a white house White What color is a green house Clear

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Why did the man get a DUI? Because he was driving under the influence.

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Why did the student fail his test? He forget to study for it the night before.

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What happened to the hungry child? He got out of Africa

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Chuck Norris can carry very heavy objects.

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Why did the black man across the road? just kidding he didnt make it across the road i hit him with my car

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Why did the puerto rican cross the road? To get back to his country, but then he realized there wasn't a road then fell in the ocean and drowned.

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Whats worse than getting broken into by a robber? Looking at Obama

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What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus? Trying not to laugh.

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whats the hardest answer ever? The one without a question.

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What do the Chinese call "Ping Pong"? Ping Pong

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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