What the difference between a black person and a piece of shit in a bucket? The bucket

Whats worse than death? Getting expelled from Hogwarts

Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

Robin, get in the Batmobile.

Three men were lost in a desert when a genie appeared and granted them each a wish. they died of dehydration shortly afterward, never realizing they were hallucinating.

How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I touch myself at night.

Q: How do you make Kobie Bryant cry? A: Kill his family.

HOw do u DEFeat thE hatErsz shitted on em

What has red dots and is yellow all over A poisonous frog

What did the star say to the asteroid? Nothing, astral bodies can't talk, you dipshit.

why has kallum just changed clothes to speak to a counsellor because he's socially awkward and has no peers

Theres a blonde and a brunette at a party. The redhead is left out because she has no soul.

Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

Life is like the Titanic. You cruise along on course and everything is great -- until you hit an iceberg and 1,517 people die.

What has straight black lines and is square? A refferee.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

your mom.

What's the difference between a man and a woman? The latter has two additional letters added to the beginning.

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

An armadillo walks into a bar, and shouts "I hear you don't serve armadillos." "That is correct," the bartender replies.

Q: What do you call a gay man in a... A: Keith.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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