So, there's a black man, an Asian man and an Irishman who are in a bar, politely discussing wether the Asian's phone would break if it was thrown from a plane in the Pacific Ocean. The black man says "Of course it would break." The Irishman says "I have no opinion on this..." The Asian man says "I think it would break, you are right John." Suddenly, a man enters.

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My friends a Jehovahs Witness. He got all pissed at me because he tried to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.......i totally stole this joke lol.

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How do you stop the London riots? - You employ a a highly effective police tactic to diffuse the crisis as quickly as possible.

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What did the caterpillar say to the robot? Nothing. Caterpillars do not have vocal chords and there are not, as yet, any truly portable robots capable of comprehending speech so to speak to one would be pointless.

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Did you hear the one about the guy who went his whole life without ever telling a joke? He was still funnier than David Letterman.

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Helen Keller went to town, riding on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it "NUuhHUhhuUUUuhhhuuuuumph!"

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Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

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Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

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Doctor Doctor! I think im turning into a carrot! Thats a side effect of the drugs Alice, We've just had your test results back. I'm sorry Alice, You've got HIV.

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pull my finger (farts)

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How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

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An Irish man walks into a bar, and then realizes that he's walked into the wrong establishment (He was looking for an upscale restaurant.)

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What happened when Stephen Hawking tried to go down the stairs? He fell and suffered minor injuries.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Poop. Poop who? HAHAHAHAHAHA you said poopoo

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HAHAH MY WORD IS HAPPY CLAPPY

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What is more disappointed the Lake Disappointment? You

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there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

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A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

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Why did the chiken cross the road? It didn't, J-walking is against the law.

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What did the man screem before he crashed his car? i dont know, he died.

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A monk went to a bar. He soon came out because he realized he didn't have cash because he left his wallet in his other robe.

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What do black people and asians have in common? arms

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How does a black man get to his parent's house on Christmas? He drives

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What did the frat guy drink after he lifted? A various assortment of beverages that were chilled at a cool 66 degrees.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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