What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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A woman takes a shortcut through a dark alley. She is raped, robbed, and murdered. Her family mourns her death.

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Why did the bald man go to hospital? Because we was getting chemotherapy

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im 14, over weight and spotty! you interested? .... im desperate:)

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Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because the paint used on their faces makes the extra terrestrials leery of lead poisoning.

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Whats brown and sticky? Shit.

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Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you insult him, you'll be a mile away, and have his shoes.

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What did the squirrel say to Justin Bieber? We both enjoy nuts.

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Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure!

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Why can't you lie to atoms? Because they make up everything!

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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A man rode into town on Friday and came out on Friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a couple of hours

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This joke is not funny, So don't read it.

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What's the difference between cancer and my grandmother? She doesn't have cancer.

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what does I.C.T mean when a teacher says it it means I cant teach

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why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

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Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Monkey. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

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An orthodox rabbi, a Methodist preacher and a Muslim Cleric walk into a bar and blow that month's tithings on video slots.

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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