Roses are cars, violets are rude, this poem makes no sense, neither do you

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Q: What did the hooker say to the priest? A: That was a wonderful sermon. I look forward to next Sunday's church service.

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Your momma's so fat that she contracted type 2 diabetes and died at a young age because obesity is a huge problem in America.

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What's red, black, and green all over? This is! I only wish you could see it too - the website wont let me upload a picture - but it is pretty impressive! Oh well.

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Q: Whats red and not a penis A: A lot of things

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What do you call a green dog? A green dog.

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What’s funnier than cancer? Most things, really.

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What do you call a white guy pointing a gun at someone? A member of the United States Army.

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curtis campbell has no ear lobes so he bought some milk and drank it with his cereal.

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you know whats worse than cantaloupe? no cantaloupe

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Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A: None. Woodchucks do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grasp or throw anything, so the point is moot unless they evolve thumbs for the sole purpose of chucking wood.

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What did the Jewish kid get for Christmas? Nothing, Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

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Jack and Jeff went up a hill to fetch a pail of water, They both turned gay, and had some sex, and now they have HIV

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas were meant to be put in an oven.

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Why was the clown in red shoes wearing skis? Because he likes to ski in red shoes, and he's a clown

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1:Your reading my text. 2:Your wondering what the point is. 3:Your getting angry. 5:Your going to click thumbs down. 6:But wait! You didn't realize that there was no number 4. 7:Your checking it. 9:Your smiling. 10:Your smiling so much you forgot to check for number 8. 11:Your checking it. 12:Jokes on you.

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A fish didn't walk into a bar, because fish cannot walk.

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A black man, Jew and a Mexican go camping. A bear wanders into their campsite, but upon seeing them runs away because it's afraid of humans.

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What is the difference between Switzerland and Sudan? One is in Europe the other is in Africa

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being brutally murdered as you are watching your guts spilling out of your body

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What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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