What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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Why were Billy's parents laughing at him? Because he was just diagnosed with cancer!

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Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

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a man walks into a bar with a poodle stuffed halfway up his rectum... WHY ARE YOU WAITING FOR A PUNCHLINE!? MY GOD! THIS MAN HAS A DOG UP HIS ANUS!

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Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michaelangelo.

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How many drugs does it take for Eminem to sing in a live concert? Enough.

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How does a chubby baby eat his chili In a very chubby way with his hands smearing it all over is face

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What does a frog in a blender sound like? *WWWRRRRRRRBFFFFZZZZZCHWEEERRRRRR*

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why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black guy on a bike? Just because its not very nice.

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knock knock... whos there? NOT BIN LADEN!

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what is the difference of a bag of dead babies and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline

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Why did the black man get a zero on his SAT? He was up so late helping orphans with disabilities that he fell asleep during the test.

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Did you see Stevie wonders house? Neither did he.

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A doctor tells a woman he needs to take her rectal temperature. The woman tells the doctor "That's not my rectum." The doctor promptly apologizes and conducts the rest of the check up.

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Q: What is the difference between Jimmy and a kite A: Jimmy is higher MR

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What wuld u do for a klondike bar? Nothing taste like shit.

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Knock Knock Come in

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a white van was driving really slow and he stopped in front 3 children. "do you want some candy" the old man said. the kids took the candy and the old man drove away happily, knowing he made someones day.

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Mail Man: *Knocks on door* Guy & Girl: WHAT?! *laughing* Mail Man: Mail! Guy & Girl: Hold on she is almost done with the whip cream.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them

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Have u ever noticed why a Police car siren isnt as loud as an ambulance siren? Do u know why that is? Because i dont, and i would like to know because my over active and curious brain is pounding through my skull and throbbing with question and wont stop until i know the answer!

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What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved

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RIDE A PONY, RIDE A PONY

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Once upon a time a was born

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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