You thought i'd be telling you a joke. Turns out im not.. !! haha

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How do you drown a blonde? Force her head underwater until she can no longer breathe, thus shutting down her brain and killing her.

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A cat playing laser tag.

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A terrorist robs a walrus.

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A guy dared his friend to jump off a bridge for 10 bucks. His friend, fearing for his life did not jump.

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Why were two black men fighting for a dollar that fell on the floor? Because they both lost their homes in the crashing market and have to care for their ill children that need money for medical expenses.

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A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

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What do you call a man who burns his country's flag on it's independence day? Unpatriotic

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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how did the woman get her baby to stop crying? she hit him with a axe

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I don't often drink beer, but when I do, I make the poor decision to attempt to drive while intoxicated, kill a pedestrian, and end up in jail with a hangover, a DUI, and an account of vehicular homicide. Don't drink and drive simultaneously.

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A man walks inti a bar and asks for a drink, he shows the bartender his ID and is kicked out because the man is underaged.

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Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

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yolo your orange looks orange

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What happened to the dog that ate to much? It became obese.

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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Why is there a corpse in this TV box? Bob was never a great skydiver.

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A black man walks into a KFC. He buys a bucket of chicken, then distributes it to several homeless men he supports off of his meager income because he knows their situations are much worse than his.

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Why did the plane crash? The Pilot Wash a Loaf of Bread

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Can anyone Lenin money?

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What do a watermelon and a bunny have in common? they are both green except the bunny

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Why did the baby die? Lack of oxygenated blood to the brain.

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BOYS ARE DUMB AND THEY SMELL FUNNY AND IM ANGRY

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HAVE A GOOD DAY. DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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