Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's wrong with black people? They tend to make mistakes, as do all humans

thumb_up thumb_down -5

If Jewish men light a menorah during Hanukkah, what do Jewish women light? Jewish women light a menorah as well; Judaism is a relatively fair religion to both sexes.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Fight fire with with fire! That would be impossible, it'd just make the fire bigger. And probably kill you.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's yellow, black, and makes you laugh? A bus full of black people going off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How did bill lose his legs he got them amputated after contracting a severe case of "INeedToGetMyLegsAmputatedSyndrome"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How long does it take for a black woman to have a shit. 9 months.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I love this website, oh shit *Car* Dead*

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Yo momma so fat that she was diagnosed with obesity and may need medical assistance in the future and will be reliant on you, her child.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.''

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a black man driving a plane? A pilot, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the homosexual man buy the antijoke book he enjoys reading

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why is a cat in the desert like Christmas? Because Egypt is a country of deserts, the Egyptians had cats and Jesus, Mary and Joseph escaped to Egypt in the Christmas story before Herod carried out his massacre in Bethlehem on baby boys of under two years old.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

When did the ball-room finally close? Closing time.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

whats red and green and has 8 wheels. a stick

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's worse than seeing your grandfather dead on the floor? Seeing your grandmother standing over him with a knife

thumb_up thumb_down -5

whats an aids victims last wish not to have aids

thumb_up thumb_down -5

penis. nuff said.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the traffic filled road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? Chicken delivery.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A friend? Just a friend that you told to stop pretending to be me? And you had no idea whatsoever that I am Nero as in not one of the six hundred thousand wabbabes?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

thumb_up thumb_down -5

(A man goes to visit his neighbor) Knock! Knock! ...................... ................... ................ ............ he walks back home

thumb_up thumb_down -5

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AS FAT AS JESSE WHEN... 1. The scales don't go up to the weight you weigh. 2. You know the true meaning of the word Plus-Size. 3. You can't see your feet without sitting down.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops