What do you call a seedless pumpkin? A pumpkin.

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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An elephant walks in a bar. The bartender and everyone rushed out as soon as they saw the elephant

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he's working out.

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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What's red and fun to drink through a bendy straw? Period blood

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What did the southern uncle say to his nephew when he woke up? Good morning, son.

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Two friends are sitting on a couch watching TV. One friend accidently turned on a pornography channel. The other friend felt awkward and went home.

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what did one deer say to the other? nothing, he was shot during hunting season.

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A young boy walked in on his mom and dad in their room lastnight They were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Light turned green, indicating that it was a safe and appropriate time to cross

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What did the boy with AIDS, polio, one eye and one arm get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What is Godzilla's favorite sport? Nothing, Godzilla is a fictional character.

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Why did the guy eat pizza? Because he likes pizza.

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If John has 10 packs of beer and he drinks 8 packs,what is John left with? Morbid Obesity.

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A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

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What do you say to the man break dancing?? You don't, call an ambulance he is having an epileptic fit.

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rose's are red violets are blue I have touretts blblblblblblblblbbl

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Why was Allen late for work? He was mauled by a bear. Allen is dead.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have to go to the bathroom.

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Why did he chicken cross the road? The suicide rate in chickens has gone up 50% in the past year alone.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.... Knock, Knock, Who's there?: Not Sarah

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What did the man say to the cat. ~It doesn't matter it impossible for 2 Species to Communicate between one another.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops