Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

Q: What did the police officer tell the man without a shirt on? A: Put a shirt on.

What is round and bad-tempered? A vicious circle

Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

what did batman say to robin to get him into the car? Get in the car

What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

What is the difference between john madsen and a gay person. There isn't because john is gay

What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was booted into the air by a screaming Russian osselot.

What is rainbow-colored, makes no sounds, and smells like a banana? A rainbow-colored banana

Why does Magic Johnson have to use extra-large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

Roses are red, Violets aren't. This doesn't make sense. Potatoes and brown.

Sam Hengal.

What do you call a fat, ugly kid? An unloved child.

Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

What did little Timmy get for Christmas after he was diagnosed with leukemia? A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond because he was interested in redecorating.

What's twelve inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

"HEY DUMB FU** THIS STUFF IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY!!!" SAID SIMON COWELL!!!

Why did Suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz

How Do You Solve A Impossible Math Question? You Dont. cause its impossible.

123 f*ck off

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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