Why was the little boy hit by a bus? I pushed him

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it looking for food for it was starving to death.

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what did the red towel and the blue towel say? Nothing because towels are inanimate objects and therefore can't talk.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar, the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you", the grasshopper replies, "you have a drink named Bob"

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

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Q:What did the homeless guy say to the business man on the cell phone A: Nothing because he doesn't want to disturb his phone call

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A blonde walks into a bar. She got free drinks.

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What do you call a man with no eyes? A hero for going to war and surviving being tortured by the Vietnamese.

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What did the snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

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what happened to the girl next door ? she was brutally murdered.

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Why was the white man chosen for the job over the black guy? He had more work experience and was clearly the better suited applicant.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue If you think this is gonna rhyme, You're dead wrong.

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i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

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Q: Why did the boy fall off his bicycle? A: Because someone threw a fridge at him.

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What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

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A Mexican guy, a black guy, and an ISIS member walk into a bar. The black and Mexican men, realizing the potential danger in the situation quickly exit the bar and alert the proper authorities. $

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When is a door not a door? When it is ajar.

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Two elves walk into a bar. The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

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yo momma so fat... she went on a calorie controlled diet and lost 3 stone, she's a really nice lady too.

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why did susie fall off the dollar coaster? it only cost 50 cents susie is gone now

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why did my BFF hate me?i called her an idiot on all the holidays including her birthday

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Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

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I went to the local RSPCA office today....it's tiny, you couldnt swing a cat in it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops