A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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That awkward moment when your brother goes to crack his neck, but he dies instead.

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Roses are red Violets are blue one plus one Equals two

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-Have you ever seen an elephant hidden behind a thread? -No. -How come you're seeing it, he's hidden.

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knock knock whose there? penis penis who? penis want vagina

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why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by the ice cream van

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Q How do you make the fire fighter sad? A Kill his dog

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Much to my surprise, the Hoover Dam was not built by beavers.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a train? Because she's blind.

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Yo mama got so bad teeth her dentist said she should get them surgicly removed and get lifelike dentures

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well shit whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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a blind man walks into a wall

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A Jew, Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. They have fun there a good time and then they go home.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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im typing this without looking at the jetviard. I can;t toycg type thar wekk yet

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roses are red, violets are blue, dandelions are yellow, tulips are pink, sunflowers are black and yellow, my dick is 13 inches long.

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What's black and blue and made of poo? A drowning black guy, holding some blue poop

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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What is the same about a Duck and a Pickle? Neither of them can ride a bike.

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What do you call dinosaur flatulence? Jurassic Fart!

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What would happen if Obama got reelected? The economy would turn to shit.

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What did the white boy say to the black boy? You're black

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side XD

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What do a porkchop and a watermelon have in common? They're both edible, organic, and delicious. Also, both are fun to throw at people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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