What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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BTW ANders she is gone, read below, seriously! And your mother is ugly, but she is so kind to me, so ill be nice to her too... Seducing a LONE WIDOW ME 32 years she... 180 and always blushing around me? Thats gonna be hard... No seriously, I kissed her on the cheek the other day, she moaned... And she aint that old... looks like a old 40 year old. ANDERS! AAAANDEERS! CHATTERTON!!! Anyway, tell your mom, that way Ill just need to enter, kill you, and you know... make her feel like she is ... 77 again? Nah she is ahornbag so she must be younger, wont kiss her on those lips though ANDERSSSss because she smokes, the others? Sure, Ill take a pic of her squirting! From the guy that taught you how to make any woman squirt... YOu fucking asshole!

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A man goes to his doctor and asks: ""What is wrong with me doc? One moment I think I am a teepee, the next moment I a, a wigwam." To which the doctor responds: "I have told you several times sir; you have stage IV pancreatic cancer."

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your mama is so fat, she sat on the ipod touch and made the ipad.

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If you throw a red stone in a blue lake what does it become? Simply a wet stone.

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I like my coffee the same way I like my women: without a penis!

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In the time it has taken you to read this, a small African child has died.

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What is the french word for penis? I cannot say because I do not possess an adequate knowledge of the language.

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Roses are red violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in the zoo! But don't you worry I'll be there too! But not in the Ill be laughing at you

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What did the elephant say to the pelican? He didn't say anything. I lied.

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A witch walks into a bar and orders a drink. She gets her drink and proceeds to have a great time.

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What do you call a car with no wheels? Trash

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Kevin+Sean sitting in a tree enjoying mcdonald's free wifi.

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Why don't jews believe in Jesus Because jews believe Jesus Christ was not their savior

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why did the blonde put on a coat? because she was cold.

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a girl? Consensual sexual intercourse between two young adults.

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what did the teacher say to the students when she was talking about the solar system The sun is very hot. At the core it is 15 million degrees Celsius or 27 million degrees Farenheit. Using a magnifying glass, we can see the very hot heat and the light of the sun. Please do not do that because it can hurt your eyes. This makes the light very bright and the heat is so hot it could start a fire.

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A man walked into a bar....he's OK.

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You're tearing apart, Lisa!

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If the blue dog falls out of sample object, how many bananas does my mom eat? No, because markers can't talk

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Why did Stephen hawking walk into A bar? He didn't. This situation is impossible considering the fact that he suffers from a horrible condition causing terrible muscular paralysis preventing him from walking.

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what dyu call a bunch of white guys on a bench? the NBA

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why should not women able to vote? because their stupid and should not vote at all

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A man walked into a bar. He left in a body bag.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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