a naked man walks into a bar the police arrived 10 minutes

A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar and order two beers

What do you get when you cross a rooster with a cocker spaniel? Nothing, because roosters and Dog's don't mix.

Did you see Helen Keller at the movie theater? I didn't either, she's dead.

Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

your mother is so fat that I am concerned that her health is at stake and she may develop diabetes and heart disease

How are a chicken and a grape similar? They're both round. Except the chicken.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Why did the boy fall off the swing? -Because he didn't have any arms!

Whats worse than standing on lego? Rebecca black. whats worse than Rebecca Black? Justin Bieber. Whats worse than justin Bieber? Standing on a baby that isnt yours.

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

What did the teenage girl get for just sweet 16? An abortion

how do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The fridge is on its side, the door is torn off, and the ruined food scattered all over the floor. Not to mention there is an elephant in your kitchen.

what did the chickpea say to the raison when he got called big but? Atleast i dont have a stick up my but.

How many holes can you poke in my chest, When my chest is by far the best If you believe you can stab Then then grab a knife...that you can grab Skewer my breast Which lies on the best chest And you will discover A man under your covers Yes, keep on pokin' Poke my chest with the knife you are strokin' And then swallow a chode because you are stupid.

Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

What did the pencil say to the other pencil? Nothing, pencils do not have the ability to speak as they are an object.

How do you scare a lawyer? Threaten to kill his family.

How many theropists does it take to change a lightbulb? -only one, but it takes a very long time and the lightbulb has to want to change.

A raptor and a Tyrannosaurus Rex walk into a bar. Everyone runs for their lives as the dinosaurs ate everyone who was too slow.

A black man walks into a bar. The barman says 'We don't serve your kind here'. The man leaves and goes to a nearby bar that doesn't have racist staff.

Me - Ask me if I am a Frog. You - Are you a Frog? Me - No.

why was six afraid of seven? it wasn't. numbers dont have feelings.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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