Two cats are sat on a window ledge. One cat looks to the other and says "Meoww".

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why did the bear fall out of the tree? He died. Why did the raccoon fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the bear.

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Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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What did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered

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How do you get a Jew to jump off a cliff? You kidnap his family and threaten to kill them if he doesn’t.

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

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A black man and a mexican man jump off the empire state building.Who wins? Nobody,suicide is a serious thing and it is depressing to think that the minorities In America would do such a thing to themselves.

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Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

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What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

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Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

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A manly man drives up in a yellow bug, What do the girls think? They think its very manly! (;

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

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So God answered a paralyzed boy's prayer the other day...He said 'No'

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What did Al gore say after he sold his TV Station to Arab Oil Money? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. CHA-CHING!

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary.

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Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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who is gay wit mon james cornish

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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