Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How do you scare a lawyer? Threaten to kill his family.

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Actually it was me Josh brown

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Roses are read, Violets are blue, I have aids, now so do you

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You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

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A black man walks into a bar. The barman says 'We don't serve your kind here'. The man leaves and goes to a nearby bar that doesn't have racist staff.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Jim Jim who? Oops, wrong house.

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Why do things made by Glen taste so good? Because he has mastered the cream

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Weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee

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How did Sarah Offet win? He had no arms. Knock, knock? Whose there? Not Sarah Offet

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What do a plum and a bunny have in common? They're both purple. Except the bunny.

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have u ever have to clean up ur own poop? me niether.

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Q: whats red, spins, and screams? A: a baby in a blender

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Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

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what did the obese kid get for chistmas? an athsma attack ,which led to death.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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I'm attracted to you like the earth is attracted to the sun. With a force that is inversely proportional to the distance squared.

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Why could'nt the Jew drink milk? He was laptose intolerant.

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Three penguins sitting in a tub. The first penguin says to the third penguin, "Hey would you pass the soap?" The penguin in the middle says, "What do you think I am a typewriter?"

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What do you get a Jewish boy for Christmas? Nothing he died in 1943!

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This is hypothetical remember, just examples with no roots in real life events. The problem with your former employee, was that he would easily have played the victim, certain organizations would have paid him a fortune for the intel he had collected, and surely also agreed to let him walk away, and get you and your small (relatively) crack team death penalty on the spot, just like the underground, you would have been branded terrorists simply because certain people would have earned billions by doing so. The wizard would most likely have gone free, as long as he shared every tiny bit of info, then the cops, the feds, would have blamed it all on you for being his supervisor, you would not have survived the ordeal, trust me.

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How many women does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Thomas Edison was a man.

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? the pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven. By darragh Hamilton

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2 muffins are in an oven. One says to the other, "it's really hot in here!" the other replies, "WHOA. A talking muffin!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops