What did hitler say to the jews? Die.

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Knock Knock Who's There Fat white lady with dreadlocks Fat white lady with dreadlocks who? want to buy some girls scout cookies?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Bob, your neighbor. Okay, come in.

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womens rights

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Hollywood presents: In a world... Where darkness and crime is at every corner... The governments darkest secret... MUST... BE... UNLEASHED! Jack Kirby: So, with this technology I can swallow criminals and gain their abilities? But is there not a lot wrong with this? Hollywood: Meh... Sorry, we are gonna go with The Fast and The Furious 64: Mario Kart style.

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What's worse than seeing your grandfather dead on the floor? Seeing your grandmother standing over him with a knife

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Me John Kasich! Me win Ohio primary!

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What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

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What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

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what's the funniest joke? wish i knew

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Why did Alec cross the road? He didn't, he was hit by an axe.

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What scares little children and befriends their parents? A clown

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What do you get when you mix a bulldog with a shitzu? One delicious smoothie.

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Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

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10 Mexicans are in a car. Who is driving? 1 of the Mexicans.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

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Q. There were 2 Mexicans in a car, who was driving it? A. The police officer.

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Men's rights

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what this: b a dead one of these: p

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Who the hell knows..?

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Q: What's so funny about medical records? A: You're not the one dying.

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why was the 6 year old boy crying? his mother had just passed away from terminal cancer and his stepdad caught him crying so he kicke hm in the face and told him to man up.

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What's more fun than nailing a baby to a wall? Pulling it off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops