Why did Justin Bieber cross the road? Because the chicken chose him as a decoy.

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How do u kill a gay man? Shoot him in the head

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1,000 americans jump off a plane. They all die as a result of not having parachutes.

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What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

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Why couldn't the black man get out of jail? He couldn't post his bond.

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MURRRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Monkey. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Knock knock. Who's there? the police.

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Why did the little kid drop his ice cream? ...... Because he was startled by the pedophiles penis being shoved up his ass.

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How Does My cat have Sex? With Me.

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Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? I dont know lets go play on our bikes.

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A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van.

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How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

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Wanna hear the most repeated joke on anti jokes? Why did [insert name here] fall off the swing? Because he/she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not [insert name here].

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Why did the fish look like a human? Because it was a person, drowning.

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knock knock who`s there me oh come in

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what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

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why did the man fall off his bike? someone threw an oven at him

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How do you have sex with 9 giraffes? you don't because that's weird

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops