Why did the blonde girl drink lots of water? Because the fat comments got to her and she changed her diet to nothing but water

thumb_up thumb_down -26

knock knock. who's there? your neighbor. o hi come one in!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the blonde turn down prostitution? She knows it is illegal and has better moral values than that.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

your mommas so fat she jumped for joy and got stuck

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did Emmanuel Frimpong say to George Elokobi? you sir, are DENCH

thumb_up thumb_down -28

what is the difference between a blond and a red head? one is has blond hair and one has red hair

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why is little johnny sad? He won the lottery but then found out the next day he had cancer and cried in a corner.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A man walks into a pizza place and orders a pizza. When he got the pizza, he saw it had pepporonis on it. He liked that, so he ate the pizza.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why didn't the little boy have arms or legs? Because they were savagely ripped off of him by a black bear on a very unfortunate camping trip.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

When life gives you lemons......you should be really scared because life shouldnt be giving you anything....espically lemons so if life offers you lemons you better run

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's the difference between a chicken and a bartender? A chicken is a domesticated fowl, a subspecies of the red junglefowl. As one of the most common and widespread domestic animals, with a population of more than 24 billion in 2003, there are more chickens in the world than any other species of bird. Humans keep chickens primarily as a source of food, consuming both their meat and their eggs. A bartender is a person who mixes and serves alcoholic drinks at a bar. also bar-tender ; 1836, American English,

thumb_up thumb_down -28

will you like this joke my sources say no

thumb_up thumb_down -28

what is worse than a joke? an anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's the difference between katchup and musterd A very long list of things that I don't want to read

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How do you confuse a terrorist? Speak another language other than Arabic

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did the man say when he saw a alien? "Look its a Alien"

thumb_up thumb_down -28

There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. Coincidentally, it was also Tuesday.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Bob: This joke is so hilarious but you must start off by saying knock knock. Tom: okay... Knock knock Bob: who's there? Tom: ...... Bob: well? Tom: I don't know what to say??? Bob: so the joke left ya speechless!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

It's bright in here *puts on? sunglasses* Ahhh, that's better...

thumb_up thumb_down -28

why cant the kid find any friends? he was stranded in a desert.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops