How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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whats similar between a chicken and an alligator they both gobble except for they alligator

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Anti-jokes are funny.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

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Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

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What do you put your key on? A key chain.

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Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

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What's worse than a work in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Seeing the same joke repeated thousands of times on anti-joke.com.

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken a month off from working in their law firm. The mexican man, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? He's learning to ride and understandably lost his balance.

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Why did the all black baseball team beat the all white baseball team? Because the black team scored more runs than the white team.

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Everybody love food when they are hungry

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What did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered

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Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

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Knock knock! Who's there? Girl Scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

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knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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What has two legs? Half a cat

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So a man walks into a bar, right?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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