My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

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You know why they call me Scuba Steve? Because I Scuba Dive.

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Have you seen stevie wonders new piano? No Well it's really nice

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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has anybody else just skipped to the short ones

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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The cow's name was Friday, But can you guess what day it died? Monday, it had a fun weekend with its family before it was brutally slaughtered.

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I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

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Knock knock! Who's there? Girl Scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Who is that? That is my daughter, She likes climbing trees.

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Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

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Knock Knock Who did that?

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yo mama is so hairy she has afros on her nipples

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Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a terrorist.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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whats black red and white. a zebra with a contagious red rash

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a lazy boy sleeps 23/24 hours. what does he do in the remaining hour ? he takes a nap

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You wanna hear a clean joke? Mary takes a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man.

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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It was a boys birthday, his mom died of cancer, his dad of aids, and all of his siblings were put in a gas chamber. Happy Birthday

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why did the baby fall down the stairs? i pushed it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops