Why was the tree sad? Because a bird shat on it.

A buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand asks the server to make him one with everything

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than Nickelback? Nothing. -Win G.

How many blond girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, it is a faily simple task

Roses are red Violets are blue I tryed to hang myself But my neck qad to fat

Why did I get thumbs up from everyone? Answer: Because they like my anti-joke.

Why was the black man hanging from the tree? He fell and had to grab a branch.

Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got ran over by a drunken driver yesterday, when he was cycling back home from school.

There is a bus driving down the street, suddenly a man jumps out of the buss and splatters on to the sidewalk, why does he jump out? the buss driver was asian

There were two blondes going to California for the summer, they are about two hours into the flight and the pilot gets on the intercom and says we just lost an engine but it is all right we have three more but it will take us an hour longer. A half hour later he gets on the intercom again and says we just lost another engine but its all right we have two more it will take us another half hour though. One of the blondes says "If we lose the two last engines we will be up here all day"

Why are women such horrible drivers? Their hair gets in the way.

Why did the man drink a glass of water? Why not?

yo mama's so dumb, she had to retake the 11th grade.

What are you going to get your mom for mothers day? I have two gay dads.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Although this is a highly improbable scenario, one would assume that, being a chicken, it did not have much of an intuitive idea as to what to do while it was stray for whatever reason in an urbanized area. Considering chickens do not harbor nearly as much of a mental capacity as it would require to even comprehend the concept of a "road" and is impervious to the idea of oncoming traffic and such, the fact that it happened to be crossing the road was in fact not even recognized by the chicken. For this reasons I deem this question unanswerable.

A Jew walks into Macy's

A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

The teachers cat is a fat cat and his name is ... why do even whant to know you stalker

A stand-up comedian quits his job. He has social anxiety and can't stand the pressure.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he saw some pandas spooning.

To Daniel You must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen

96 right now there mad at each other but pretty soon it will look like this 69

what did one apple say to another apple nothing apples cant talk

Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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