What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

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13 =B you just learned something

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*there was a tv sitting on the side of the road..* person 1: hey why doesn't that tv work? person 2: because it's broken?? person 1: no..because its not plugged in!

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Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

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Penis

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What did the black man say to the Jew? Hi.

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Q: What is black and white, black and white, black and white? A: A Nun falling down the stairs.

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whats worse than getting caught by a teacher for chewing gum? getting kidnapped by a giant hawk.

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Dont be racist be like mario he is an italian who looks like a mexican speaks english and picks up coins like a jew.

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whats black and white and red all over? ...a nun in a blender

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Why did the black man go to the store with a gun? He recently bought it a couple days before to go hunting, but it wasn't working correctly.

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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a horse walks into a bar, hours later it walks out on two legs and the man who saw it all happen couldn't believe his eyes. The man then turns to the bartender and says, "I theenk eye've had enuf, Cut me hoff!"

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies " My daughter just died of leukemia."

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whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was getting chased by nazis.

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What song did Buddy the elf sing for Santa on his birthday? Happy birthday

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Person 1: Ask me if i'm a tree Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No

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What happens when you run over a black man? It is most likely that he is killed.

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why did my BFF hate me?i called her an idiot on all the holidays including her birthday

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie!

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A man walks into a bar with a frown. The bartender asks, "Why are you sad." "My wife got brutally raped then shot last night."

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There was three women stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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