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a black guy walks into a store and is caught stealing things the police are called they get there and hes calmly escorted to the police car

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what do you get a man with no arms or legs for his birthday? a quick, painless death.

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How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

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you know why they're called ear wigs, right? cause they go in your ears! then they wig out? no, they kill you.

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What is the difference between a group of magicians and a cheerleading squad? One has a cunning array of stunts.

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Knock knock Come in

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Why did the naked blonde crossed the road? Because she a man

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whats red and hard to eat a brick.

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What's worse than missing your flight? 9/11

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

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So a guy walks up to a gay guy and says: "You are a fag." The gay guy says: "That is very offensive, you jerk." So the guy says: "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know what it meant" and the gay guy says: "I accept your apology." Then the gay guy crosses the street and gets hit by a bus

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A princess kisses a frog to acquire a prince. Then gets arrested for beastiality.

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People who find just saying 69 is the funniest thing ever.

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Guess what? That is actually a ridiculously broad question, and I can be referring to anything. You really have no chance in guessing "what" is. As a matter of fact, I can just be thinking about a thought of something else, which is not even a concrete thing. Therefore, you really have no chance of guessing what "what" actually is. So I win. You lose.

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What has 389,236,587 arms, has rainbow colored fur, and fornicates on your front lawn? Absolutely nothing. That's pretty much physically impossible.

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What is the difference between Jesus and jackAwhole lota fat

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, Oh wait... I'm blind.

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Why did the old man throw the clock out the window? Because he didn't want to go to a store that could repair it, so then he thought that it was better off on his yard where it could compost.

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What stars with C, is hairy on the outside, moist on the inside and ends with T and has UN in the middle? Coconut

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who is 2 chainz? no one 2 chains is just 2 chains. spelled with an "s" not a "z"

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. One of them says, "Man, it sure is hot in here." and the other muffin replies, "Yep." They later die a horrid and painful death as their flesh gets burned into a nice golden brown crisp.

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Paul was mowing his lawn when he felt a bump. It turned out it was a bunny. Paul felt bad but the bunny felt worse

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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