What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're parents are dead All your friends are too

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Have you seen stevie wonders new piano? No Well it's really nice

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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What's a vampire's favorite dessert? Vampire's don't exist What's Helen Keller's favorite dessert? Helen Keller doesn't exist

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's really irrelevant when you realize this joke is about a suicidal chicken...

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Why was the uneducated black guy raped? To make this joke more risky and therefore funnier.

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why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

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Whats Brown and Sticky A) a stick

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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bangers and mash?

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Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the chicken!

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You just lost the game UMAD Bro?

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

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A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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Where is boots, Dora asks Why the hell are you asking me when your the one who is with him.

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What did John say to Paul before they entered the car? "Paul, get in the car."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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