Q How do you make the fire fighter sad? A Kill his dog

thumb_up thumb_down -33

That awkward moment when your brother goes to crack his neck, but he dies instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

knock knock whose there? penis penis who? penis want vagina

thumb_up thumb_down -33

why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by the ice cream van

thumb_up thumb_down -33

-Have you ever seen an elephant hidden behind a thread? -No. -How come you're seeing it, he's hidden.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Roses are red Violets are blue one plus one Equals two

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A Jew, Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. They have fun there a good time and then they go home.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well shit whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

thumb_up thumb_down -33

a blind man walks into a wall

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

thumb_up thumb_down -35

A man got struck by a car and was rushed to hospital on life support, he died shortly after. His wife was informed of his death by the doctors and shortly after she killed her children and finally hung herself.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why did the man eat his cellphone? Because he has a serious mental disability, and did not know that it was not a normal thing to do, and for anybody to laugh at him for doing something like this is just a sick person.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Sally bought a shakeweight. She is an alcoholic and is ruining her family.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What do a porkchop and a watermelon have in common? They're both edible, organic, and delicious. Also, both are fun to throw at people.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What would happen if Obama got reelected? The economy would turn to shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Knock knock Who's there A girl scout A girl scout who? A girl scout trying to sell cookies to support her alcoholic parents who beat her

thumb_up thumb_down -35

How do you keep the crime rate down in a black neighborhood? Blow everybody up all at one time.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What do you call a spider with no legs? A spider.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side XD

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What did the white boy say to the black boy? You're black

thumb_up thumb_down -35

If I could Rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and Q together.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

knock knock whos there? dave dave who ? dave starts to cry because his grandmothers oldtimers has restricted her from remembering her grandson dave.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops