Two Pigs are in a bath. One pig says to the other "pass me the soap", to which the other pig replies "Do I look like a typewriter?"

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You know that Duck song on youtube? I dont get it... ducks cant talk...

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How do you beat a black in sports. "shot him when the game starts"

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flink geit, nei ikkke kneck bena hans jeh er på "forgiftnings avdelingen" third flor deen ask arund I mena i am the ønly guy in the world named Angelo Nero, so ull find me, srsly, got some ritalin on u? Do not respond, u know am not into drugz, but i waanna stay awak, get the detailz, remembeeer if you kicke his nuts, you get paid, if not go back. God jobb gutta, seriøst, kaffipiller ritalin, stimulanter? Not opiats, come with my phon so i can fuuk this netwerk,.. Ps: Okay break his leg, but ust one, hurry up remembr, cut his tungue (it grows bak jes) then tell dem you save him, you can be heroews, goat, tell fingern that when im bak, we are takin a trip on da limo, galz included becuz Mr.Black is the gentz. NO MOR REPLYES whre u? I want my phone not answrs her. Nero is a fucking demoppsn

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A blind man is jumped and doesn't see it coming

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person 1. Did you here about the black guy who went to college? person 2.no person 1. either have i whats ironic is that they are both black

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There was a irishmen in his house. He was thirsty. so he drank some water

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What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer..... Just Kidding! He got a bike!

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What has four legs and is always ready to travel? Siamese twin fugitives.

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Of course, you have always found more joy in seeing others happy, that pursuing your own happiness.

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Yesterday, my friend said I should facebook him. So I slammed a book into his face.

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If a red house has red bricks, and a yellow house has yellow bricks, what colour of bricks does a greenhouse have? Greenhouses are made of glass.

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How do you keep the crime rate down in a black neighborhood? Blow everybody up all at one time.

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What do you call a dead man walking? Someone on death row.

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Once upon a time there was a king who had a daughter. She eventually grew up and contracted aids got run over by a bus and shit her pants..

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What did the doctor say to the person who is suffering from obesity? Run fatass Run

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What's the difference bettween the holocaust and a bee, 6 million jews died during the holocaust. Bees make honey.

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Q: What do you call a bathtub? A: A bathtub

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Doctor I have a headace! The doctor was dead.

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-Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? -No. -Well niether has he.

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Whats the difference between a boy scout and a jew? A boy scout gets to come home after camp.

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what's worse than dropping half your sandwich? Getting hit in the face with a sledgehammer

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Love and attention from his parents.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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