Whats green and gets you really high? A green airplane

Why did the sloth swing from the tree? It hung itself.

So there's this big ass bronco right? It goes to a store and it asks Ben Roethlisberger "Do you know where I can find some girls to rape?" Ben Roethlsiberger says "In aisle 5" so the moose goes down to aisle 5 but there aint no girls!

what happened to the boy who got hit by a truck he went to the hospitel

Tifa my ass, if that is your name buddy, then I am Nicholas Cage, or why do you not just call me Cloud Strife? Seriously, if you are a guy just say it and get lost, I will still honor my agreement and show up and see what I can do for your little order though, you pay the trip and the stay of course.

What does and elephant and me have in common. Everything, I am an elephant.

Whats the difference between platinum blondes? Absolutley nothing they all look exactly the same.

Holy mother moley! Britain just brexited! Now there's no more Britain. Britain is all gone.

What did the old women do when she found her husband dead? She had a heart attack and died as well.

Why didn't the dog want to cross the road? there was a flea market on the other side.

What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

What is the difference between a person with Alzheimer's and Aids? 24!

A black man checks his watch. He sees that its 3:50, and calmly carries on with his day.

Why did I call 87 yr old Jamie McMeanBully a douche bag? Because he's sterile

What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

What's worst then leaving a public toilet when you just took a shit and the toilet is now clogged Realising that the maid was waiting for you to get out to clean the toilet...

How do you get a baby in a bowl? You put it in.

Why couldn't Horton hear a who? He was a loaf of bread.

Roses are Red Your Face Has Turned Blue This Pillow I have Is Smothering You

A chicken rode into town on a horse named Friday. He was later shot by a dyslexic Russian dinosaur.

Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

What is worse than finding a dead bug in your coffee? September 11, 2001

how many blondies were at the mall? none they were too busy trying to find the sun.

How did the black kid get in school? By taking the bus.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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