Why did Billy fall off the tree? Why? Because he had no arms or legs. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy

An egg and a sausage walk into a bar, and the barman says "sorry, we don't serve breakfast".

What's the difference between a Pile of Dead Babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamboghini in my garage

What did the no-arm, no-leg, paraplegic orphan with cancer get for christmas? Pregnant.

Roses are red, Violets are red, Oh shit my gardens on fire

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because on the other side of the road people don't question his motives

September 11 was the 9/11 of all terrorist attacks.

Why did the Jewish man bend down to pick up a penny? Because he had dropped it and required the penny as part of his payment for his food.

Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

Why was six afraid of seven? Six wasn't. He listens in on women's self defense classes and can deliver a kick to the crotch so hard that it will create for you a new vagina.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

What's worse then a missed call from your dad? A missed call from your mom.

women's rights.

Whats better then a guard llama two Guard llamas

Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

everyone dislike the first joke on page one

A brunette, a redhead, and a blond are all stuck on an island 100 miles away from the nearest civilization with no resources. After 2 weeks, they decide that no one is going to save them and they have to swim for it. The brunette swims 25 miles and then gets eaten by sharks. The redhead swims 75 miles and then drowns. The blond swims 99 miles but got tired, so she swam back.

Q: How long does it take to dig to China? A: 5 mins. I hire a bunch of mexicans

hey whats your name Im gonna hit you so hard........ that im gonna knock your block off

Boy: Knock Knock. Man: Who's there? Boy: Doctor. Man: Doctor Who? Boy: Haha! The man then invites the boy into his home, where he gives him a glass of lemonade laced with Ruphalyn. He then proceeds to take off the boy's clothes and rape him. When the boy awakes, the man starts to fear for the police discovering the boy in his home, so he kills the boy and cuts off his limbs and head, and buries the body parts in a hole in his backyard.

What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? DAM!

You dork, seriously, the comment where I mentioned that I am married is like 60000 comments PAGES behind. What? Now you ashamed of losing your, I mean I can say that I am your first right? That I am going to stick my MANFLESH into your CHERRY AND POP IT RIGHT? JUST TRYING TO BE SUBTLE HERE! Seriously though, Your name is really Tifa? And you look a FUCKING HELL A LOT Like Tifa From Final Fantasy... You know, except she has gigantic feet and no lips and you know...

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

okay so three men are in a plane ( this is the type of plane you can open the windows) so the stewardess goes up to the first man he asks for a gun she agrees but hes gotta throw it out the window he confused but he does it anyways the stewardess goes to the second man he asks for a beer she agrees but he has to throw it out the window hes confused but he does it anyways the stewardess walks up the the third man he asks for a pack of C4 she agrees but hes gotta throw it out the window without hesitation he gets it and throws it out the window. so they land and the first man sees a women crieing i was walking down the street and got hit in the head by a gun and arested for being armed the second man sees a hobo cheering loudly hes says he was sleeping in the ally and it started raining budlight the third man shes a women hysterically laughing she says i was going to work and spilled my coffe then my house blew up!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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