How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

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Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

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why did susie fall off the dollar coaster? it only cost 50 cents susie is gone now

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Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Why is Tommy dead? Because he died.

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So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

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*there was a tv sitting on the side of the road..* person 1: hey why doesn't that tv work? person 2: because it's broken?? person 1: no..because its not plugged in!

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Why did Jimmy's mom cry? She got stabbed in the arm and was suffering while bleeding to death.

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Why was the man walking down the street late at night? Because he's homeless and has nowhere to stay.

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Why did the father leave work early on his son's birthday? He was rushed to the hospital after facing a severe heart attack due to a history of cardiovascular disease in his family.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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Why did the boy fall off the sky scraper. It was hit by an axe.

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How did little Tommy die? i pushed him into the deep end of the pool

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Iceland is actually green and Greenland is actually icy and Germany started the Holocaust.

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What did the physicist say when he got his penis stuck in a test tube? Ah jeesh! I got my penis stuck in a test tube.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Colorblindness isn't funny And neither are you

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Q: Why did the Asian fail his driving test? A: Lack of concentration on the road and low knowledge of functioning a car.

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A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

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Robin, get in the car, please.

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Roses are reds, Viloets are blue, Thank God I'm a christian, And not a jew.

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Whats fat and gay joe diragi

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A child wasn't wearing knee pads when he was skateboarding. He proceeded to fall of his board and break his arm

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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