"This is defamation!" proclaimed the Fox, as he sat in the panels of the courtroom. "I attest, with full honesty, Your Honor, that never have I said any of the allegations the two defendants have quoted upon me." He looked with contempt at the Ylvis brothers, who sat at the other end of the room. "I say, Your Honor," he continued, "that I never, ever in my entire life, said 'Gering-ding-ding-dingerdingerding', to which I am willing to testify."

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There once was an old man. He had worked hard his whole life to make sure his children got everything they needed, and that they were always happy. He had a beautiul life and a great big house with a marvelous view of the ocean. In time his kids moved away, and his wife died. The old man was left all by himself in the great big house, and sometimes the emptiness of the house reminded him of the emptiness of his own heart. He very seldom cried though, and kept all of his emotions inside. One day it all became to much for him and he took his own life in the silence of his great big empty house. I was that ocean.

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Why didn't the little boy have a good time at his birthday party? Because his friends lit him on fire.

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Bill gates walked into a store and farted. It stunk up the entire place and the employees were mad. But it was their fault for not having windows.

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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Next time someone says "I have mad money"... Say "whys it mad"

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What do you call a woman with two black eyes? Irish sunglasses

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What do you call an awesome bucket? An epic pail.

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

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Why did Susan fall off the swing? -Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susan.

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I'd love to submit an anti joke, but unfortunatley I don't own a computer.

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Why'd the Squirrel fall out of the tree? Cause it was dead

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What's the hardest part about being a pedophile? Fitting in.

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Yo mama is so stupid that see should really be concerned with furthering her education in a four-year university

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So theres a Black guy, White guy and Mexican guy all sitting at a bar. They were friends.

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roses are red violets are blue i have no money could i have some

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whats red and looks like a bucket? a red bucket.

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Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because his ears were stapled to the floor.

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why did the kid get in trouble. Because he put this up in typing class -charles hall aka chuckles

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Why do cow say moo? Because you touch yourself at night

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NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

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What did the Albino say to the other albino? Due to heredity and our inheritance of Chromosomes causing albinism, We could be displaced in society but luckily, we have eachother. They went home and lived happily. But not ever after. That craps or normal people. (freaking albinos...)

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I like my wine like I like my women. Not at all.

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HELP!!! I locked myself in my bathroom and can't get out! my laptop is running out of batteries!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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