Knock, knock. Who's there? "Dwane!" I don't know any Dwane. Perhaps you have the wrong address. "Oh. Sorry to have bothered you!"

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

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Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

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What's the worst part about eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheel chair.

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Your mother is so large she finds it difficult to fit into regular sized clothing

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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Bob: I have a funny knock knock joke, but you have to start it. Joe: Ok. Knock Knock. Bob: Who's there? Joe: Uhhhhhhh Bob: Exactly.

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Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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How did the Muslim pilot die? He had a fatal heart attack while flying over the Atlantic and as a result the 300 passengers died by drowning.

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A bar walks into Chuck Norris.

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Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

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What does the homosexual arab who plays football who has a best friend called Dave enjoy doing? Playing football.

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How do you make a person cry? You bury them alive.

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What's faster, a train or a bike? A horse because a cow gives milk

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Why can't you lie to atoms? Because they make up everything!

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Text this number just cuz 16305208722

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Can you get me a stapler,but make sure it has staples or else I won't be able to staple anything

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Q. What happened to the women who cut her finger? A. she got staff infection and died.

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When SCUBA diving, why is it important to fall backward off the side of the boat? Because if you fell forward, you would still be in the boat.

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Texter 1: Hey, do you want to hang out? Texter 2: Sorry dude, i lost my phone, i'm trying to find it Texter 1: Ok, text me when you find it Texter 2: OK

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Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

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what is worse - this joke or the last one? what is worse still - sex what is worster - nothing that's not a real word what is wurst? a type of sausage

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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How did the clown get the baby to stop crying? He hit it with an axe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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