I was about to do an triathlon, but i took an arrow to the knee. It got infected and i promptly died two days later.

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How do you survive the zombie apocolypse? You avoid dieing or being mutated in the living dead.

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How do you get a black guy down from your tree? You can't, because there aint any.

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A man and a midget walk into a bar each carrying a suitcase. They were stopping by after work.

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How does Hitler like his juice? With pulp

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steven hawking walks into a bar

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Go ask your mom.

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Three ladies were seen eating ice cream. One of them was licking the ice cream. Another was sucking the ice cream and the other was biting the ice cream. One of these ladies is currently married. Which one among them is the married lady? The one with a wedding ring on.

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What's blue, orange, and silver all over? Nothing. That's a ridiculous combination of colors.

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Got a card in the mail from my estranged uncle today. Yep.

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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Why did the potato cross the road? It didn't. A potato is a vegetable. It cannot walk, think or speak.

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I was not scared, I was disappointed, I was expecting to see you for you, not the whole strange outfit getup, what was the point of that? I know the deal about hypnosis and stuff, did you know it is actually known as monoideoism? But I really cant figure for the life of me how it is physically possible to be under a deep state of trance and completely awake at the same time.

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A man walked in to a store and asked for four candles. The storeman brought some fork handles and placed them on the counter. The customer said "No... 'Four Candles' a rather amusing sketch performed by The Two Ronnies, a comedy double act in the 1970s."

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Quinn Grifith Randel lives in Roswell, GA

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What do you get when you cross the ocean with a dinosaur? Wet.

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What did the fat confused man say? I am confused.

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If I am from Texas, where are you from? You know the answer? HOLY SH*T! YOU ARE A GENIUS!

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

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Why wasn't the black kid allowed in the school? Because it was the Southern United States in the 1930s and due to racial tensions at the time most public facilities were seperated by race.

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Well, I feel that I've stepped outside my comfort zone.

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What do you call a million pigs jumping out of an aircraft? Bacon.

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69, Is funny because the numbers are backwards

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Q: Why was the cook put in jail. A: He has killed 2 people and robbed several stores

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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