What does it mean when people say your mom? it means that there name is Hunter

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Your momma's so fat, people make jokes about her.

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How did the Jew survive the holocaust? He didn't, he died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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Where did the cow go? To the slaughter house!!!

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How did the little boy die? A speeding moving truck took a sharp turn, the locks on the doors broke open and a huge office desk flew out and crushed the boy.

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Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

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Pain Olympics.

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Man 1: Ask me if im a flower Man 2: "are you a flower?" Man 1: if i was a flower do you think i could talk? man 1 was wondering why man 2 was so uneducated

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What's black and runs fast? Newsflash: Most of you are racist.

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A black man, Jew and a Mexican go camping. A bear wanders into their campsite, but upon seeing them runs away because it's afraid of humans.

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FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

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Whats the sad thing about 4 black guys going over a cliff in a car? It was my car!

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Whats black and hanging from a tree in my backyard? A tire swing

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bicycle.

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Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

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If I had a nickel for everyday I lived...... I would get a nickel a day

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Two frogs go to the bar only to leave because frogs can't open up doors.

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Roses are OK, Violets do the trick, C'mon and let me whip out my Dick.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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A man walks into an exam room for a doctor's appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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If life throws you melons, you should do your best to avoid them. Large and hard objects such as melons can easily harm you if moving at high speeds. Fortunately, life is not a physical entity that can throw melons or anything else - so the chances of this event occurring to you are exceedingly low.

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Nero, listen, do not try to imply that you created the Iron man method, that was developed by many people over the duration of many years in the former underground society. You seem far too educated to be the savage you claim to be, if I told you that our people will do the uttermost to see if we can fix that eye of yours and succeed, will you forgive my failure and imperfections as a leader? Look at it this way, I am a leader, not a ruler, what my followers do is up to them, but if they cannot understand that they have to pay the consequences behind their actions, they have no place within the order, as for the expression "my order" it is simply what my many followers like for me to say, not because they are unwilling to take responsibility, but as a token of praise. Our articulations and means of expressing desire and such are very much the same, have you ever been part of our order?

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being hit by a plane.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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