Knock Knock. Who's there? Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak. Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak who? Moo.

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My grandma once told me " never trust the blacks"

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally. Why did Sally fall of the swings? She had no arms. Why didn't Jimmy help her up? Jimmy is a fish. There's a guy with no arms and no legs who loves to swim. What's his name? Bob. Ya know Bob's twin brother is in the same condition. He loves to play in the leaves. And what's his name? Russell. Why couldn't Sally swing on the swing? She had no arms. What did the girls mom tell her to do before she went to bed? Go to bed. How do you wake up Will Ferrell? You set his alarm clock to a reasonable hour. What did the fat man who had his car stolen tell the police? Someone stole my car.

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Pick a number between 2 and 8. Now multiply that number by 9. Now add the 2 digits of that answer together. (example 18 is 1+8) Now subtract that answer number by 5. Now choose the letter below that corresponds to that answer. 1 = A 2 = B 3 = C 4 = D 5 = E 6 = F Now pick a country that starts with that letter. Now pick an animal where the first letter of the animals name is the last letter of the country's name. Now think of a color where the first letter of the colors name is the last letter of the animals name. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Are you thinking of an orange kangaroo from Denmark?

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I have a dead body, What do I do.

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What's worse than getting murdered? Getting murdered twice? - Louis

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What did the home-less man eat for dinner last night? Nothing.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daffodils are yellow, Flowers come in lots of colours...

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This is my favorite antijoke.

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what does a slim jim taste like? there is no answer because everyone has a different amount of taste buds

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Q. Why can’t a Skeleton Lift Weights? A. He’s all bone & no muscle.

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What has two legs but can't walk A paraplegic

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Why did little Sammy die of boredom? The WNBA was on

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Whats dark, has an opening, and guys like to go into it? A Vagina

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A Finnish guy and a Russian guy go into a sauna. The Russian died.

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One sux, the other is decent. But supporting the sucky one shows u are dedicated.

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I'm not one to tell gay jokes So I won't

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Q: What's worse than getting hit by a bus? A: Herpes, AIDS, Diarrhea, Constipation, Castration, Super Herpes, or the song "Friday."

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A blonde woman is creating an account for a website when she gets the "enter the following" box. The box says"How are you". She looks down at the bottom seeing the answer and puts"Good!".

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What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has dates!!

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why did the black man drink grape kool-aid kool-aid refreshed him after a hard days work out in the field picking cotton

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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What do you call a Jew talking on a cellphone ? Well one should mind his/her business and shouldn't call people names and discriminate against them on religious or ethnic grounds .

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whats the similarities between an xbox and michael jackson? there both made of plastic and they both get turned on by children

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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