What is Cleopatra's favorite cookie? A: Chips Ahoy

What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

How do you wake up lady gaga Set her alarm clock to an appropriate time

I've got a dig bick. You that read wrong. You also read the second sentence wrong.

I like to give help to people, expecting that they will be my slaves for life.

Why is is afraid of seven? Because seven is a date rapist

Why did the duck cross road? It didn't, it got ran over.

Roses are red, violets are blue, my life didn't start, until I met you! :) Megan _____

A man gets a paternity test. It's better than beating his wife senseless due to his own insecurity.

Sir, do you know what time it is? Yes, it is 5:15 PM

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don't know how much I want. They don't know my life. They don't know what I've been through.

hello i hav a growing interes in math and arithmetic especially when it involves pi if u are still reading this you either didnt realize that this was a joke or just didnt care but most likely it means that the first line interested or bored u and u wanted to find out wut the rest was u like????

What smells like diarrhea and looks like poop? A rotten banana.

A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

What would you do if Spider Man gave you super powers like his? Nothing. Spider Man is not real therefore you are most likely dreaming and need to wake up soon.

A blode walks into a bar, She gets her hair dyed brown and is later presumed smarter due to a the genral public being steriotipical.

Why did the man jump off the cliff? Because he suffered from chronic depression as a result of frequent drug abuse.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well for a chicken to cross a road there would need to be a farm right next a road and, the fence in the farm would have to be torn for the chicken to get out and the chicken would probably end up not crossing the road because of cars.

Knock knock, ... Little Timmy bursts into tears, Because his parents don't love him.

What's big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

there are two wales chilling at a bar one looks at the other and does a wale call for 2 minutes and the other looks back and say "dude your drunk we gotta go!"

Dad: Blind side was the black kid who played tight end. Me: Offensive line. Dad: Sorry, African American kid.

Q: Who was shot 50 years ago? A: Abraham Lincoln was shot 50 years ago! (=

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...