A man stops another man on the street in Manhattan and asks "How do I get to Carnegie Hall ?" The other man gives him direction, including which subway stop to get off at.

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Yeah your point? Anyway, so then the brain surgeon goes: I have have cut into thousands of brains, and never seen a single thought.

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A pope meets another one

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How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

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why did the man choke at the lunch table. Police there is a banana attacking me what should I do?

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why did the chicken eat his brother? he was a canivore

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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A student asks a teacher: Sir, how much time would it take for me to do this quiz. Teacher says: From the second I give you this test to the second you hand it back to me.

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J- Jiggly E- Enormous S- Sad S- Smelly E- Ethiopian

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what do you call a black man with a job? dont know, has never happened.

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whats pink, brown, and smells like a banana. monkey vomit?

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, and they don't have to be blonde, anyone can screw in a light bulb.

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Jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams,heat does.

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What happened to the guy that got a perfect score on his S.A.T.'s? He was murdered.

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Two guys walk into a bar, but the third guy is a duck.

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An American, a Mexican and a Cuban are in a car. For they are heading to the store to buy groceries and then come home to make dinner.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? You eat them.

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how do you know your sister is on her period? you dads dick taste like blood.

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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3 black guys are in the back of a car. Who is driving? A taxi driver

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Every circle of friends has a "crazy one". If you can't figure out who the "crazy one" in your group is... Try harder. Either that or you are a terrible judge of character.

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Knock knock. who's there? Banana. Banana Who? Knock KNOCK!!! WHO IS THERE!!! BANANA!!!! BANANA WHOOOOO!!! Banana Johnson....... I'M YOUR NEIGHBOR!!!!

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What did the dog say to his owner? Bark.

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How do you describe a cranky rapist? Cranky and rapist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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