If a train leaves Chicago at 50 miles per hour, how hard does the baby strapped to the tracks get splattered?

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I DO NOT CARE ABOUT NOVA! MY NAME IS VIKTOR REZNOV! AND I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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whats the difference between and black guy and a bench? a bench can supoort a family

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how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

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Why did jack fall off a cliff? Coz the hill was on a cliff.

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I had a terrible childhood. My mom abandoned me before I was born.

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Did you hear about the dyslexic insomniac that stayed awake all night wondering if there really is a dog?

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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What size pants did the gorilla wear? An abnormaly large pair compared to the average human because their weight and width are porportionaly larger for their speices.

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roses are red violets are blue i have some cheese im going to eat it

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What's worse than having AIDS? A piano falling on your left middle finger.

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What is Hellen Keller's favorite TV show? She doesn't have one - She is blind and deaf.

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Hi I'm Ben What's your name? I forgot. Hi "I forgot" what's your name? Ben

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Knock Knock! But nobody was home and couldn't hear it.

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What's round and bounces A basketball No!!!!!!! You dummy!!! Then what? Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes? A: A whine cellar.

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Your mother is so morbidly obese that she greatly exceeds the necessary recommended serving sizes of each meal.

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batman farted so hes retarded

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What is E.T. short For? So he can fit on ship

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How old are you? 7

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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Dear Six, Please stop spreading rumors about me and nine. I hear you two also do some pretty nasty things. Love, Seven.

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Q) Why are there no aspirin in the jungle? A) Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest

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I'm a wise old man, so I'm aloud to touch you in the bathing suit area.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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