So there were these three guys on a plane, one with a ruptured hernia, one with a stomach infection and one with a raging case of gingivitis. Half way through the flight the pilot said, "unfortunately we will not it make to our destination... we are crashing." The three men then went to get the parachutes. they then say that there was only two. the man with the ruptured hernia picked one up and threw it out the door and pushed out the guy with the stomach infection. The guy with the raging case of gingivitis said, "why did you do that... we could have used that parachute!" the man with the ruptured hernia responded, "taco." and jumped out of the plane. the pilot then goes on the intercom and says," sorry. false alarm. we will not be crashing, please enjoy the rest of your flight."

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Two black guys are in a car. Who is driving? One of the black guys.

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Why did the plane crash The pilot, being an uneducated pilot, crashed the plane as he didn't have proper training, and the whole of the passengers died.

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When life hands you lemons you can't make lemonade, Sugar and Water are two other key ingredients that were not included with the lemons.

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

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What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

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the teacher enters the room she sits in her chair and yells, "i am your substitute teacher. get out your books and write me a story."

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Your dad is so old, he should go to a nursing home.

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do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

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Whats really down a black hole? I don't know...The last person to go down one never came back because he died of AIDS.

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Why did the Jewish man stop to pick up a quarter off the filthy street? He saw a homeless man begging on the street corner and thought that he could give him the spare change he found.

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Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

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How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

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Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

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-Is your refrigerator running? -Yes. -Just wondering.

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how do you get a happy man to stop smiling? hit him in the face repeatedly untill he is dead.

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What has two legs and oinks? Half a pig.

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Why did the cow fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second cow fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first cow.

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so a horse walks into a bar and the bartender syas why the long face and the horse says naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay guys house Knock Knock Who's there? The chicken

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A black guy and a mexican get into a car Who is driving? Whoever takes a seat in the drivers side of the car

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how many jews does it take to fit in a mid-size sedan? -5 comfortably.

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Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was on a diet

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What's the meaning of life? I forgot to write it down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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