Whats worse than forgetting your first homework assignment of the new school year? Being hazed on the first day of school to the point where you seriously consider suicide

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Whats green and smells like a red apple? A green apple

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What's the difference between an alien and Obama? - Nothing they are both aliens.

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How do you steal from a sushi buffet? You say please.

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Whats worse then a worm in your apple This joke

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide.

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Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A: This question has many different possible answers due to the range of sizes and shapes of bath tubs available on the market, and also depending on the size of the baby in question. It is therefore only possible to give a specific example.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A husband and a wife were having a conversation: Woman: Why is the baby on fire? Man: I dont know. Woman: BUY ME SHOES!!!!!!

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A horse walked into a bar. The bar was part of the fence he was enclosed by.

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Whats sad about 6 mexicans driving off a cliff in an escalade? An escalade sits 7 people.

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What's the scariest thing about the dark? There's a black man in my bed.

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Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

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How did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. On its way there, he got hit by a bus.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He didn't say anything because ducks can't talk.

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Whats worse than tripping? Getting shot

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u know whats a crime? rape

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whats worse than getting lost in europe? becoming the middle in the human centipede.

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff.

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why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

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What is green and drives around in the desert and is not a tank? secretly a tank

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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