Yo mama so fat when she goes to the gym, she makes her trainer skinnier.

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I was runover.

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Why didn't Josh go to school? On his way to school, a majestic flying homeless man hit him in the head with a sea cucumber.

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A Mexican and a black man are in a car. Who's driving? The black man, because he was the designated driver for the night and was being helped by his good friend, Paco the Mexican, to quit his alcohol addiction. The AA meetings and rehab clininc were failing and he had lost his job. Jamaal, the black man, is now attending night school and holding down a part-time job at his local Baha Fresh. paco is very proud of him.

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Where do drunk asians live? In their house or apartment with their families, who are concerned about his drinking.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Anything you like, he's blind.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing.

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So a guy with alsimers walks into a bar........I forget the rest.

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An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

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What did the man with no head say to the women?

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How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

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What do you call a discounted watercraft? It is traditional to give it a female name.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven they say nothing to eachother because they are muffins and cannot speak if they did they would most likely be taken by the US government and studied and assumed to be alien life forms but anyway the muffins were taken out later and presumably eaten

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Three people walk into a bar. Eight people follow them. They all go back to Bob's house, except Anna, Jimmy, and Joe. TImes the amount of people going to Bob's house by four. Thats how many people get arrested at the end of the night. How many people aren't arrested? Do you even know why you read this? Get a life and go to an actual bar, a party and get arrested.

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There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

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What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why are rich guys gay? Because they hang around other rich guys

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's a free drink, you'll wake up in my basement.

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cccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccorn

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i know you talk the talk but can you talk the talk

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I climbed through your window, I'm under your bed

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Q:What did the boy do when his girlfriend cheated on him? A:He broke up with her because cheating is wrong and he deserves better.

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Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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