Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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What's worse than being hit with a falling brick? Being hit with many falling bricks. -ilikecrepes97

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What do you tell a woman who claims that she is going to yell "fire" in a crowded movie theater? That doing so could result in serious injuries or even death, and that she would be wise to reconsider her future options, as she could be held responsible for any and all problems that arise.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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what's the worst part about owning a prius? telling your parents you're gay

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Two lions are walking down the street. One lion says to the other, "where is everybody?"

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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How do u wake up lady gaga You go into her room and yell at her

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You thought i'd be telling you a joke. Turns out im not.. !! haha

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Asexuals aren't known for f***ing around.

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An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

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Why did the virgin masturbate until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

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Knock Knock Fuck off. I am new here. I do not know anyone here.

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David Cameron

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when your out of toilet paper what do you do? get more

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Texas! You are doing it the wrong way! Learn from Hitler, gas is cheaper.

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What's worse then a worm in your apple? When your apples a human

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Your mumma's so ugly. Period.

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Why did the overweight black man wake up & then not get out of bed? He was paraplegic.

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Why did the dish run away from the spoon? None of them ran neither one has legs

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Two muffins are in the oven. They don't say anything because muffins can't talk. The end.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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They say laughter is the best medicine but i've always found it hard to laugh at cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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