Johnny fell out of the window. Except he didn't fall I pushed him

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What do you get when you combine lemons, sugar and water? Lemons, sugar, and water

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Why did the car crash? Because the driver was blind

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Which came first? The chicken? Or the egg? Whichever one was more sexually excited i guess.

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When is the only time you see a Mexican and Black person driving together ? When they feel like it .

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Why would you kill a black man? Well, murderers have different motives, the most common of these are revenge or a psychological illness.

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

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Hey how is your wife and my kids

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,What would you call Morgan Freeman if he was White? Morgan Freeman

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What do dragonflies do when they are a couple? One sits on the others head, causing the bottom dragonfly to have a loss of vision, and increases the weight on the bottom dragonfly, which increases the chance of both the dragonflies deaths.

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White men's rights

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles there balls

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are potentially dangerous weapons that may inflict bodily harm.

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Why can't you lie to atoms? Because they make up everything!

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What's green and has wheels? The White House. I lied about everything, I'm so sorry.

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Why did the Mexican man grow a mustache? It wasn't his choice. Men naturally grow facial hair and he ran out of razors.

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Yo' Mama is so fat, her driver's license says, "picture continued on other side."

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How much does a dead battery cost? Nothing, it's free of charge.

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What was little Sarah's last Words to johnny before he got hit by the bus??? Can i have your ice cream.

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Lollies are sweet warheads are sour, open your legs and feel my power

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Q: What's worse than your parents dying in a car crash? A: You were in the backseat and saw your mother plead your father to slit her throat witht he broken glass because her legs were brushed and a windshield wiper was shoved in her kidney. As you stared on in pure horror, your father did as she asked with much contemplation. An ambulance arrives moments later. In the hospital, you tell your dad that you hate him for killing mom. You run away and he dies overnight due to heart failure. Yo suffered paralysis and now and are confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your natural life and are sent away to a born-again foster care home where you are never adopted.

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A wise man once said a journey of a thousand steps starts with one step. The wise man also smoked weed and starved to death in a cave.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops