I don't always drink beer but when I do, I viciously beat my wife and children.

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Why didn't Billy's parents get him any birthday presents? Billy was an accident.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ben, you just called me. Aren't we supposed to go jogging. Oh yea, I lost track of time. Is it cold out? Yea it is. You should bring a jacket. Alright, can you get me a water? Yea, no problem. Thankyou.

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What did the woman say to the dog? Stop shitting on my carpet your dickhole

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Read a Book.

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You've got more chins than a Chinese... Girl with a lot of chins, because she's so fat

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Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if you father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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A rapist leaps out a woman and yells "surprise!" and proceeds to have non-consensual intercourse with her. Later, he is arrested by the police and charged with sexual assault.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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How did the seal die? It went clubbing ... Then overdosed on ecstasy, it was very sad.

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My dog has no nose, how does it smell? Using its anus.

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Why did Kim Kardashian's and Kris Humphries marriage last so long? It didn't

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How many days did abraham lincoln take a crap for? Turquoise because pancakes cannot fly without wings during the summer unless giraffes smell pineapple on tuesday.

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yo momma so old that when she whent to school there was no history class

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a cancer patient walks into a bar and has a stroke

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A little boy had a candle by his bedside. It fell over. The candle was fake, and it didn't burn down his house. When he woke up, he picked up the candle, put it back on his nightstand and had a wonderful day.

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A bunch of teens were egging the house of their science teacher for giving them homework over break. They got caught by their teacher's ex-husband and he told them, "She broke up with me for telling her she was being too hard on her students. So, my friends, egg on!!!!!"

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What do you call a someone who steals from a black guy? A thief.

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What do you call a alcaholic walking down the street..... Roadkill

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what do you call a fat black cat and a skinny white dog? Freckles and Spot

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What did tyler say to Jake? My pussy is wet jew

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Indians

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What do you call a girl who can run faster than me? Virgin

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A jew walked into a bar Hitler said.... A jew walked out of a concentration camp

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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