Why was 6 afraid of seven? It isn't numbers are not sentiment objects therefore incapable of feeling fear

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Q: Why did the black man shit himself? A: He experienced post-mortem bowel release after he was murdered due to his racial identification.

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Whats black and hangs from trees? To get to the other side.

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what do call a car full of people on the side of the road? a cool explosion waiting to happen

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Two muffins are in the oven, one muffin says "Gosh it's hot in here!", the other muffin says "HOLY CRAP A TALKING MUFFIN!".

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven brutally raped and murder six's parents whilst six hid in the closet and watched.

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What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Nope! Chuck Testa.

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Chuck Norris will eventually die because he is a human being, just like all of us. His movies weren't very good either.

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what do you call the breaching of the anal cavity with a penis? butt sex

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When a mommy and a daddy love each other very much... and after being married for 39 years... They get divorced

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How do get a cat to like you? Give it lots of love and attention

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Why lets go Mets? Lets go Yankees!

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curtis campbell has no ear lobes so he bought some milk and drank it with his cereal.

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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Everybody will die

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What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

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How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

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why did the little boy drop his ice cream cone? because he was hit by the planes that hit twin towers

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It was the week of the school formal and a girl rang up her date and said I don't have a dress for the formal. He said ok the lets go out and buy one. So they went to the dress shop to buy one but the line was really, really long so they waited in the dress line for ages and ages until they finally got to the front, paid and walked out. As they did, the girl said well I suppose you need a suit, so they went to the suit shop, and again, the suit line was really long but they waited in the suit line and they finally got to the front, paid and walked out. Then the guy said, well if we want to go to the formal in style, then we will need a limo. So they went to the limo shop but the limo line was really long as well. But again, they waited in the limo line and they got to the front, paid and left. It was finally the night of the formal, she had her dress, he had his suit and they arrived in their limo. Everyone was having a great time and the the girl said to her partner, I'm a bit thirsty could you please get me a drink? So the guy went over to the drinks table and went to get a glass of punch but there was no punch line.

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Q. What's long and hard and full of seamen? A. A penis. Oops, I misspelled "semen". Sorry. Also, to clarify, this doesn't describe the normal state of the average penis. Usually they are flaccid, and they can only be said to be "full of semen" at the exact moment of ejaculation.

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Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

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whats better than the london bridge burning down... all the jews burning down and getting put in bins .

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If you're having girl problems, I feel bad for you, son... Because I can empathise with you, and it's not a very nice situation to be in. Hope you work it out.

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A man walks into a bar and sees a man with a big orange head. The man asks the bartender, "Why does that guy have a big orange head?" The bartender replies," If you buy him a beer, maybe he'll tell you." So the man buys a beer and gives it to the man with the big orange head and asks why he has a big orange head. The man says, "One day I found a genie and my first wish was to be the richest man in the world, my second wish was to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world, and for my third wish, I told the genie,'Ya know, why don't you give me a big orange head."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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