I hate it when I press submit, and I forgot to finish the jo

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? Because she has no arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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Whats the difference between Qantas and Malaysia Airlines? Qantas only looses money.

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What does a homeless guy do when he's hungry ? Nothing, he has no food.

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What happened to the boy that got raped? He later died of depression

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Q: what do you call the green and the (stone eater) animal? A:the green and the (stone eater) animal

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knock knock whos there **gunshot ...man that gun show next door is annoying

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What do you call an Asian guy doing homework? A student

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Why did two rhinos engage in vigorous sex? They were horny.

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Its a bird!! Its a plane!! No, its a bird.

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Why did the little girl fall of the swingset. She got kidnapt and raped by a giant scorpion.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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Q: What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? A: A genetic aberration that is an insult to both God and man.

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How many women does it take to ski across the pit of lava? None, they would burn and die.

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What's the difference between a good anti joke, and a bad anti joke? There literally is no good anti joke.

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Why don't you make like a tree, and get out of here.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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what's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? when you slap a mosquito it stops sucking:)

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Well, I feel that I've stepped outside my comfort zone.

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Why was the ghast from minecraft crying? His family died

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A man dressed as a woman gets hit in the nuts they fall to the ground in pain

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

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whats red and green and has 8 wheels. a stick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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