What does the ship say when it's cold? Shiver me timbers

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Q: What was the name of the armless elf in Snow White? A: Stumpy

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I took your mother out for a classy steak dinner. I decided not to call her agian because we weren't very compatible and the conversation was very superficial.

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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Q: How do you stop a black man from drowning? A: Quit peeing in his mouth.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why was the girl's clitoris cut off? Her country practiced Sharia Law.

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What do you call a human with no eye? A Human.

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On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown how angry are you?

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Laughter and joy... You are really sweet you know.. Excuuuse me princess! But Like Mickey Mouse never changed... From a Potato peeler to some fuckup private detective in a trenchcoat. So tell me, what character did Walt Disney draw before Mickey Mouse?

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Why can't basketball players play hockey? Because hockey and basketball season occur at the same time.

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Q: Why couldn't the little girl ride a bike? A: Because she didn't have legs.

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what happened to the chicken who crossed the road he didn't realize that the light was green

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Why did the little boy fall over. Because someone shot him in the face.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the engine wasnt working.

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So this drunk guy pokes this girl. 4 months later she has a misscarrage

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"Do you like pie?" "No." "Do you like blueberries?" "No." "I have something you won't like." "Is it a blueberry pie?" "No, I shagged your wife last night".

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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Matthew Wyckoff

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Why is my penis rainbow colored?

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Whats the difference between a red cup and a blue cup. Ones red and the other is blue.

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whats big and green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a snooker table

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Me either. Well, later. Later.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops