Why did the old man cross the road? Coz he was in an ambulance

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HOw do u DEFeat thE hatErsz shitted on em

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We could have had it all Rolling in the deep You have my heart inside of your hand As you've just now inexplicably ripped it out of my ribcage.

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A young baby died.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

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How do you rape someone? No, its a question. I don't know the best way to go about this.

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I like my women how I like my coffee; without a penis.

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Periods are red, waffles are blue, some poems rhym, this one doesn't.

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What's blue and can't read? The Pacific Ocean

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your in court a woman police officer says anything you say can and will be held against you. the man replies titty

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What do you call an asian jumping off of a building? A suicide victim.

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What do Muslims have for breakfast? Corn Flakes.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? one, hes an electrician

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

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I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

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How does a black guy in debt make money fast at the bank? He applies for a loan and conscientiously works hard to pay off the loan in turn, which he was lucky enough to get at a low interest rate.

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what did the cat say to the potato? meow

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Whats the best way to tell if your wife has been cheating on you with the UPS guy? simply ask her, trust and communication in relationships are vital in their survival and growth.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? ... A boy played in mud.

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Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

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Why didn't the boy eat his vegetables? he was dead

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how much swag could a swagchuck chuck, if a swagchuck could chuck swag?

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What's the best part about having sex with twenty eight year olds? They've reached sexual peak but aren't yet past it. Plus, they still aren't in their 30's.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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