What do you call a black man with a lip desiese? Jumbo shrimp

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How do you make a pool table laugh? You cant it is'nt a living thing which means emotions.

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What did Ghandi tell St Peter as he passed through the Gates of Heaven? He didn't. There is no afterlife.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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What do you get a Jewish boy for Christmas? Nothing he died in 1943!

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A kid walks into a bar. He leaves wasted.

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Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

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A man walks into a bar. He asks for a beer. One of the bar tenders twlls him they are all out. He takes out his gun. He has 1 bullet and there are 3 bar tenders. He wants to kill them all. What does he do? A: Shoots 1 and pegs bricks at the other two.

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What's worse than biting into a worm in your apple? Being run over by a stampede of elephants

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Knock knock. whos their! Grammar police. We'd like to have a little chat.

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How many blondes does it take to finish a math test? 1 if she isn't copying.

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Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO? A: One is a human while the other is an unidentified flying object.

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What do a plum and a bunny have in common? They're both purple. Except the bunny.

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Why do things made by Glen taste so good? Because he has mastered the cream

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What sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler.

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What do you do when a burglar breaks into your house and tries to kill and rape you and you family? Nothing, he as an AK-47 and shoots you all dead and then has sex with your corpses.

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A man walks into a bar. He then takes a step back and notices that his head hurts.

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Tifa my ass, if that is your name buddy, then I am Nicholas Cage, or why do you not just call me Cloud Strife? Seriously, if you are a guy just say it and get lost, I will still honor my agreement and show up and see what I can do for your little order though, you pay the trip and the stay of course.

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You are joking right?

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What does society have in common with laundry? They both get ruined when you mix colors with whites.

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wut du u cull a niggre whos wyte nut a niggre

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How do you make a fat man cry? You call him fat.

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What's funnier than Tom Cruise laughing like a badass? Chuck Norris

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side... (other side as in the afterlife, for it committed suicide by crossing the road)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops