Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

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my girlfriend had a weird fetish, she used to dress up like herself and act like a bitch all the time.

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Sarah: Knock knock. Jim: Who’s there? Sarah: It’s me, Sarah. Open the door. Jim: It’s me Sarah open the door who? Sarah: Please Jim, it’s freezing out here. Jim: That wasn’t a very funny joke, Sarah. Sarah: Shut the fuck up and let me in. Jim: Ok.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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Your Mom is so fat.... When she's goes to McDonald's and orders 3 Big Macs the people standing in line behind her all look at her with disgust and a tinge of pity.

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What did the man say when he lost his car? Where the fuck did my car go

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Yo mamas so poor, she should probably find a source of consistent payment to support herself.

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Why is elmo sad? He was brutally raped by Dora :D

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What do you call a skeleton in a closet? The hide-and-seek champion.

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, none of them did.

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Why do gingers get mad when people call them gingers? Because it hurts their feelings

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hey hey hey wanna hear a joke.....................................MENS IQ!!!!!!

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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How do you make an ugly person not ugly? Put a bag over their head. With,, a smiley face.

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What is big white and will kill you if it falls out of a tree in winter A refrigerator

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What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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I recently sent 10 puns to a joke website, hoping that one of them would win a competition. Unfortunately, they were deemed offensive.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme. This one doesn't.

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Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? His pace maker failed.

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Q: What lives in holes? A: Jerks.

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Why was the blonde on the train tracks? Because she was tied up by a madman on crack.

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There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

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How come the man could read the directions? Because it was right side up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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