Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Who enslaves small people and forces them to work in his factory all year round in ridiculous outfits. Santa

thumb_up thumb_down +24

why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon and Michael Jackson appeared in court several times under charges of child molestation

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

An Iranian, a Mexican, and an American are on an airplane. The plane is too heavy to take off, so to lighten the load, each person has to throw off something their country has a lot of. The Iranian throws off a nuclear bomb. The Mexican throws off a sombrero. The American throws off an apple pie.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the bad boy get for Christmas? Incurable cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you kill a black man wearing a bullet proof turbin? Shoot him anywere other then his turbin.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

wanna hear a joke? womans rights

thumb_up thumb_down +24

why did nick kiss esther because he cheated

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I once duped this chick with a parrot. Crazy thing wouldn't shut up. The parrot was pretty cool

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

thumb_up thumb_down +24

2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

thumb_up thumb_down +22

why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did Osama Bin Laden Say to Obama when they met? Nothing Osama is Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer while the other is just a water melon.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What has two legs? Half a cat

thumb_up thumb_down +22

This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops