Gerald: Hey did you know I was named AFTER Abraham Lincoln? Gloria: Because he was born in the 1800's and you were born and named many years afterward? Gerald: Ah... I guess I emphasized that joke a little to much - I'm sorry this conversation happened

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Jack just got his new yellow bicycle. His dad got it for his 12th anniversary. Jack was ecstatic to ride it down his street for the first time. He immediately called his friends Paul and Erick and went for his first ride. The neighbors were in AWE when they saw Jack taking off on his new ride. That day the three friends had one of the best day of their young lives, they went up to the lake, had some peanut ice cream and made fun of Alexia. Jack was in love with his new bike and euphoric that they were reunited and did all their favorite things with an incredible amount of passion. Erick hated his new bike.

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How do you make 5 lbs of fat look good? Draw a smiley face on it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

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Why did two rhinos engage in vigorous sex? They were horny.

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Immaculate Misconception - Motionless In White \m/

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gilbert Gilbert who? Goddamn it David just open the door

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-How do you wake up Lady Gaga? -Poke her face

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, FUCK, MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!

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What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

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What is funnier then 25 9/11

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Why did the woman go in a elevator with Ray Rice? Because they were both going to the 25th floor and stairs would take too long.

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The chickens have become self-aware!

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Why was the protester on the floor? Because the protest had become a riot, and police brutality is a serious issue.

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Who swept the woman off her feet? A kidnapper

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He didn't say anything because ducks can't talk.

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Who was at the door when Helen Keller answered? She doesn't know

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What's worse than a papercut? why do you insist on asking me these questions?

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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welcome to anti joke.com. you were expecting an anti joke wernt you.

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human centipede

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why do you park in the driveway and drive on the park way

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Q-What's funnier than 24? A-Most black jokes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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