Chuck Norris never shows emotion!!!... because he is a pragmatic person and thinks in a more logical manner.

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What happened to the boy who ate a piece of his Halloween candy? He died. It was laced with cyanide.

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What's the difference between a bench and a black man? The black man is alive.

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Whats the best way to tell if your wife has been cheating on you with the UPS guy? simply ask her, trust and communication in relationships are vital in their survival and growth.

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What do you call a Muslim on the moon? An astronaut

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Why did the fish fly It didn't

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I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

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A man walks off a bus. How did he get on top of it in the first place?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other... Uh oh. A car just ran it over.

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I insist, you go ahead. See you around. how about in four six hours?

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Why did the woman make the man a sandwich? Because the man severed his spinal cord and is no longer able to move any of his limbs.

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Why did the teenager drink a beer? Because it was actually full of sizzurp

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Why didn't little Timmy see the bus right before it hit him? Because he was blind

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A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

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A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

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Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

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Why did the black man die? Kidney Failure.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was making its way home after a long day of luckless job interviews

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a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

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Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops