Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from ebola

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Do you know what the worst part about inbreeding is? - It's runs in the family!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

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What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

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1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

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Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's going to buy you a another mockingbird.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

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Two great white sharks are swimming in the ocean together, one turns to the other to speak, but doesn't because sharks can't talk.

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Why couldn't tom concentrate on his homework? Because he was a loaf of bread.

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Q: what sport has a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench? A:the NBA

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally murdered 6's entire family.

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Why did i write an antijoke? Because i can't write real jokes.

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What's brown and red? I lied about the red, it's dirt.

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What did Bob say at Fred's house? "I know where Fred lives."

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What's wet and pink? Bubblegum!

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What happens when an alien goes out in the rain It gets wet

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Two men walk into a bar and begin ordering drinks. Both men engage in polite conversation with each other. At the end of the night they each take taxi's home because they realize the potential risk they pose to others if they drive intoxicated.

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If people are freaking out about this Kony guy I cant wiat to see the look on their faces when they check in my crawl space.

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My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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I? Everett

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What did the Irishman say to the German? "Sorry, do you have the time?"

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What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

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why couldn't the girl watch t.v? Because her house burned down

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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