Why didn't the man walk done the stairs? Because he had no legs

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter anyway because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: What do you get when you have water, sodium C14-16 olefin sulfonate, glycerin, disodium lauroamphodiacetate, polysorbate 20, cocamidopropyl, betaine, PEG-6 Phenoxyethanol, PPG-15 Stearyl, Ether, Citric Acid, isocateth-20, Fragrance, Methylparaben, Tetrasodium EDTA, Xanthan Gum, Propylparben, Ethylparagen, and Camelia Sinensis Leaf Extract? A: All New Clean & Clear Oil Free Make-up Dissolving Foaming Cleanser.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

knock knock who's there? Jehovah's witness GOOD BYE!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man walks into a bar. He gets drunk, goes home, and beats his wife and kids.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Butterfly is standing on a flower. Cow comes and steps on that flower

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the lampshade say to the other lampshade? Nothing they sat in silence

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is said about the man who is addicted to online gaming? He plays more than 5 hours per day and doesn't have any social contacts or whatsoever.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock. Who's there? ...(No answer)

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Dane Cook makes a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Guy: I have a gun get in my van Girl: SHOTGUN!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the Jewish girl do when I asked for her number? Roll up her sleeve...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Your mother is so ugly, her genes were passed down through two generations, and now your children are of a similar caliber of ugliness. I'm so sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats more fun than swinging a baby around on a clothesline at 200 miles per hour ? Stopping it with a shovel

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did ben 10's omnitrix or watch break? Because he kept slapping it.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did one penguin-necrophiliac say to another penguin-necrophiliac? Nothing. Penguins cant talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple, finding two worms in your apple. Whats worse than finding two worms in your apple, the Holocaust. Whats worse than the Holocaust, finding three worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the red bag have written on it? Yellow bag

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Stripper went to strip club to ask for work. - It was closed

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why didn't Cheryl's mother recognize her when she was wearing a blue shirt and jeans? Because Cheryl's mother has Alzheimer's.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing becasue a mute is a person who cannot speak and a deaf man ould not hear the jumbled mumblings anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's a fry cook's favorite day? Saturday. It's his day off.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man walks into a bar. Splash.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops