How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

Why were 50 police officers in the supermarket? A tsunami had struck and they were cleaning out hundreds of bodies

How did the Cuban get into Florida? Well he got his passport and other papers, flew in, then went to Customs.

Knock Knock, Who's there? Duck, Duck who? Duck Sandwich

Gus's mom

Why do women have boobs? So you've got something to look at while you talk to them. That's sexist... I'm sorry.

What do you call the man with no arms or legs, swimming in the bay? Bob.

What happens when a drunk driver meets a stoned driver? A head on collision

Why didn't Little Timmy's parrot talk? It's neck had snapped.

Where was sally during the bombing? Everywhere!

Why are the asians on cabin services? Because they do not speak english well enough to converse with guests.

whats funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff cathcing him at the bottom with a pitch fork

What was Helen Keller's favourite colour? None, due her disability she was unable to see colours...

Why did it take a long time to read the anti-joke? Because of the great amount of space between the question and the answer.

Why didn't the black boy get any presents from Santa? Because he isn't real.

What do you get when you mix a donkey with a bungee cord? My bouncy ass

A: Knock knock B:The door is open.

For 10 cents a day you can feed an African...they eat pennies.

What did the apple say to the carrot? Nothing, apples don't talk

Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

Why did Hitler shoot himself? Because he found out Chuck Norris was a Jew.

welcome to australia. *kangaroo kicks you in the gut and you keel over, whereupon you are stampeded by wild dingoes and eaten by tasmanian devils*

Got a card in the mail from my estranged uncle today. Yep.

My friend is a famous actor. Fooled you! I have no friends.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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