Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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se* is like math add the couple minus the clothes add the cream and just hope they dont multiply

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Why do new moms put "BABY ON BOARD" stickers on the backs of their cars? No reason. Hitting someone's car baby inside or not is against the law and very dangerous for passengers of any age.

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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What did the black man get for Christmas? A felony conviction.

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How many licks did it take for the owl to get to the center of the tootsie roll tootsie pop? A: Since when did owls have tounges?

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1500 Jews were ordered to walk a straight path whilst in the midst of a blizzard. How close did they ever get to the end? What end? They marched until every last bit of their rotten Jew flesh was driven from their weak bodies. --Amon Goeth

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Why was a black man in a prison cell? He was a highly respected plumber fixing a prisoner's faulty toilet.

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if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

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An overweight man is at a gym. he is trying to lose weight because he feels uncomfortable with his size.

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Where does a one-legged waitress work? Wherever she can get good health insurance.

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Why did the Asian man have to sit down to pee? Because he had no legs.

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knock knock. who's there? Kony. Kony who? Kony says:" Uganda be abducted"

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What's funnier than 24? Many things, the number 24 is not very humorous.

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What's worst than getting hit by a car. -Getting hit by a truck.

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

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Roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, others don't

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Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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Why did dallin fall off the swing he got hit by jds big penis

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What's green and has wheels? The White House. I lied about everything, I'm so sorry.

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What is pink and fuzzy? Pink fuzz

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Theaters say silence is golden... Trap silence in a jar, make millions.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No reason.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a brand new Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops