A man walks into a store. He purchases what he was intending to, walks out, and gets on with his day.

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Why is Jesse so fat? A horse, Because a cow gives milk thus creating pee wee Herman to jack off at an astonishing speed

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Ten black people are on the 100th floor of a 110 floor building. They are going to die because they are trapped in the World Trade Center and are leaving a very happy life with their loving families.

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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A deer looks at the ground and sees something strange. He wonders what it could be. A rabbit comes along and thinks the same. A badger promptly arrives after the rabbit and thinks the exact same. 4 seconds later they all get hit by a train.

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A man buys some expensive lingerie for his wife on the occasion of their 10th wedding anniversary. After a lovely candlelight dinner at home, he tells her to close her eyes at which point he retrieves the gift box containing her anniversary present. Thoroughly exited, she rips open the box and takes out the beautiful garment, holding it up to the light in wide-eyed amazement. Her husband gives her a suggestive wink and says "would you like to join me in the bedroom to try it on?" To which she replies, "I AIN'T YER WHORE!"

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why Is the teen's sock crusty? he stepped in the glue that his little sister was using for her art project.

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What was Helen Keller's favourite colour? None, due her disability she was unable to see colours...

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I don't understand what's so bad about a worm in your apple. Just get the proper software to clean it up, or even better, get a PC

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what came first the chicken or the chips

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BIG MAC'S

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What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? Nothing, chimneys can't talk!

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CAOIMHIN JUST BE QUITE

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people say i have big feet but you know what the say about people with big feet? :) big socks. sl

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What did the librarian say to the rude man who was talking very loudly? The librarian said "shhh keep it down."

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Studies prove that bald people have no hair?.

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Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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I like my coffee like I like my slaves... Free

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I think everybody should have a penis.

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Why is the mexican navy so bad? They have insufficient funds to give to their military as they are a 2nd world country.

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whats funny about four dead horses in a park ? the horses are dead!

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Who killed Lincoln Nobody knows

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a black guy walks into a store and is caught stealing things the police are called they get there and hes calmly escorted to the police car

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What Did Gretel say to Hansel? Stop having sex with Ariana Grande!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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