"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

A black man bites into a watermelon. Just kidding he was white.

Four blondes began their road trip from NYC to Europe and promptly drowned.

Little Brianna has a special body part. That's why I kidnapped and sexually assaulted her.

whats worse than 9/11? not much haaaa

Obama lin Baden.

Why did the man feel like he was flying? Because he had just committed suicide by jumping off of a tall building.

roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

Do you know what the worst part about inbreeding is? - It's runs in the family!

A guy punched himself. He then said ouch.

Why did the black guy not like oreos? because he is a very health concious person and knowes that too much of a bad thing can make you fat.

What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

What's worse than dying in a car wreck with your family? You being the only one that dies.

Why did Humpty Dumpty fall off the wall? The wall was unstable and not to be sat on.

If one train is heading North at 60 mph, na danother train is heading South at 45 mph, how many waffles are on the roof? The answer is purple, because aliens like coffee.

Q: What did the dog say to the owner when he took him to the vet? A: Nothing. It's a dog. It can't talk.

What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? You can't Jelly your dick into your girlfriend's ass.

Q: How are a plum and a rabbit alike? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

A man walks inta pet store looking for a dog. All he finds are cats.What did he end up buying. A weasel

How do you get a one armed Polish man out of a tree? With a ladder, he needs help.

What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

What did the aborted fetus say to the recycling bin? Nothing because it isn't capable of speaking, and it was in the dumpster

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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