Bill: Wanna know the difference between knowledge and wisdom? Joe: Sure Bill: Knowledge is knowing that an apple is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

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What did the man say to the prostitute? Can I pay you to come with me to a cheap motel and partake in sexual intercourse with me?

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What does 10 dead babies in a microwave look like? I dont know. I was too busy masturbating.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

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whats red and green and has 8 wheels. a stick

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What did the driver have when he got hit by another car? An accident.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms. Why doesnt she have arms? they got bit off by a shark. Knock knock. Who's there? Not the girl.

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Why did sally fall off the swings? She didn't have any arms. Knock Knock, Who's there? Not Sally, she doesn't have any arms.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse then says nothing because horses cannot talk, only humans can talk.

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how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

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Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

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ha ha, I can talk and you can't.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Get out".

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What has three legs, one eye, and is green and fuzzy. I don't know. Me either.

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Paris Hilton spend 2 whole days in the slammer due to possesion of narcotics. I would have gotten 20 to life... no... it's not funny...

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what's blue , and you can urinate it? a rim block.

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whats the difference between marmalade and jam? you cant marmalade ur cock up a girls arse

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Your mom is soo fat that when God said "let there be light" he had to ask her to move

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- Pete and Repeat are in a boat. Repeat falls off, who's left? - Pete? - F**k yes.

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How did little Tommy die? i pushed him into the deep end of the pool

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Why is a dog smarter than a human? Because you an asshole if you believe me

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Colorblindness isn't funny And neither are you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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