What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

You know why they call me Scuba Steve? Because I Scuba Dive.

Who enslaves small people and forces them to work in his factory all year round in ridiculous outfits. Santa

What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They got in a crash and died.

What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

What is my cats favorite college? Harvard

What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

i'm here at a school my friend is eats a pool fuck yeh

Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Why the long face?" And the horse says "I have cancer".

No soup for you!

A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

A muslim walks out of a plane.

roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

Whats white and sticky? Glue.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...