What did the woman say to the dog? Stop shitting on my carpet your dickhole

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? Hoefuwpugosihfioapfsoihosw[

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Just so you are warned here folks, some of the jokes down here are really nasty, like you know... Antijokes... But luckily you got my family friendly stories about sex, incest, panties, grenades, dripping Meows, yeah... Regular family show stuff... IT HAPPENS TO US ALL! Right? Please tell me right? Riiight? Right? Yes? Phew, okay, for a moment I actually thought you where gonna tell me I was normal...

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I used to be an Adventurer like you, but then i took and arrow to the Elbow.

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If omar has 7 apples and his bus is 7 minutes early, what is the mass of the sun? Pi. Partially because the piece of paper couldnt dance with your mother.

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Who smokes a lot of weed and speaks 5 different languages? Rosetta Stoner.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The Johnson Family was then heard on the morning news for letting a murderer into their home before being brutally killed.

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Yo Mama's so fat Everyone is very concerned for her Health.

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Why is the sky blue during day? Because it would be night if it was black.

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will you like this joke my sources say no

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Why do you have to write a conclusion at the end of your paper? So people dont have to read the whole thing.

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Knock knock I don't even have a door just walk in

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What did the computer say to the mouse? Nothing inanimate objects cant talk

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What did the computer say to his girlfriend? I'm going to RAM you tonight.

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How to smash an apple Iphone <<<<<< Use A Hammer >>>>>>> PS : if u want to break a hammer use an iphone

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Whats big and red and eats rocks? A big red rockeater.

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Q: Why did the 10 year old squirt his dad with the water hose? A: What to year old WOULDN'T?

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My dog has no nose, how does it smell? Using its anus.

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What's blue and wiggles? A baby in a bag

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A man got struck by a car and was rushed to hospital on life support, he died shortly after. His wife was informed of his death by the doctors and shortly after she killed her children and finally hung herself.

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Why did the baby die? Because you had sex with it when it was only 1 years old.

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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why do chairs recline Because they were built that way!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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