Two fish are in a tank. One asks the other, "How do you drive this thing?"

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Q: How many dead babies does it take to fill a mixing bowl? A: There is an infinite amount of answers to this question depending on the sizes and shapes or the dead babies, so lets assume that an average would probably be about 4 babies that dies just as the left the mother.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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two elephants in a bathtub Elephant 1: pass me the soap Elephant 2: no, radio!

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A guy walks into a doctor's office and says: "Doctor! Doctor! You gotta help me! One day I'm a teepee, and the next day I'm a wigwam, and then the next day I'm a teepee, and then the next day I'm a wigwam again. The doctor says: Sir, we've been over this 100 times! You have stage 4 pancreatic cancer...

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what do you call a middle-aged man with one blue suede shoe on, purple hair, pink skin, white eyes, no toenails, 67 fingers, 1 eye, a pocket watch, no clothes, and 8978967564567898765432345678765321234568909876543w245678909876543456098765323456-0987654367890-098765435678-09876543456789098765432345678909876543456789098765435678909876543234567898765323456890-987654345678900987654323456890987653234567890765434568909876543456899876543456789098765434568909876545678987654345678987654567898765434567898765478579458765456789876543223456789876543098765432123456898765432678987654230987653-098765434567898765434898765434567898765456787654567876 butt cheeks? bob.

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Why doesn't the chicken cross the road Because his dad got ran over by a car when he crossed the road

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People who find just saying 69 is the funniest thing ever.

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What did the rich white student to the poor arabian teacher? good morning Mr.Stevenson.

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A princess kisses a frog to acquire a prince. Then gets arrested for beastiality.

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Why did they bury the fireman at the side of the hill? Because he was dead

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what's worse then the holocaust finding a worm in your apple.

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What's funnier than British people ? Their tea in the Harbor

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If you don't know the answer by now, there's something wrong with you.

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what do you get a man with no arms or legs for his birthday? a quick, painless death.

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When did Dom become so brave? When he made friends

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What did the archangel Michael say to Jesus? "Hello, Jesus."

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What do you call a lion eating a gazelle? the food chain.

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What is worse than finding dead parents? Not finding them.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because there were no cars in the way.

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what did the dog say to the cat? nothing cause animals dont talk.

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What's better than winning the Special Olympics? ...Not being retarted.

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THe Election

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What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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