In retrospect, I was wrong to microwave all those cats.

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What's worse than terminal cancer? Two terminal cancer?

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What's the difference between an airplane and a cantaloupe? What? Wow your a dumby head.

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Obama = ebola

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What song did Buddy the elf sing for Santa on his birthday? Happy birthday

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Your mamma is so fat that she is undergoing strict diet and exercise in order to reduce the risk of premature death due to health complications.

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Why was little Timmy mauled by a bear? He poked it with a pointy stick.

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If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

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What's the difference between 10 dead baby's and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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It was Jimmy's 18th bday so his parents let him have the house to himself. He ate shrooms, fucked his turtle, then had his dick bitten off.

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No it doesnt..

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I'm black and I will beat your children. (This is not an anti-joke)

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Whats blue and fuzzy? Blue fuzz. Whats pink and fuzzy? Blue fuzz that's embarrassed.

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knock knock who's there? your destiny

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Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

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What do you call a Mexican flying a plane? A pilot

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whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He didn't say anything because ducks can't talk.

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What's worse than a crying baby on a trans-Atlantic flight? A hungry lion on a trans-Atlantic flight.

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How do you get an elephant in the fridge in three moves open the door, put it in, close the door How do you put an giraffe in the fridge in four moves open the door, take out the elephant, put the giraffe in, and close the door

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Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Unfortunate

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A man is driving down the highway. He falls asleep at the wheel due to his case of narcolepsy, and dies in a fiery car crash.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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