My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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dont you hate it when your reading something and it doesnt end the way you cactus

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Text this number just cuz 16305208722

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Why was the boy sad? because the serotonin level in his brain was significantly lower than normal.

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"Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pepper" "Like the drink?" "Huh... yes... just like the drink" Would you mind to sit right here Mr..... "Nike" "Oh, just like the shoes" "How do you dare!"

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What are you getting for Christmas? Wasted.

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no? sense Microwave

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Knock Knock Who's there? Tank tank who? You're welcome

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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Whats brown and a fag? A bundle of sticks

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Knock knock. Who's there? the police.

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Customer Service "May I help you?" "Yes."

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Why can't the T-Rex give high fives? Because they are extinct.

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Texter 1: Hey, do you want to hang out? Texter 2: Sorry dude, i lost my phone, i'm trying to find it Texter 1: Ok, text me when you find it Texter 2: OK

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How do you discover a gay snowman? If the carrot is in the ass.

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

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Why did the little kid drop his ice cream? ...... Because he was startled by the pedophiles penis being shoved up his ass.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your Mom is a fake, she adopted you!

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? thier skin tone.

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why couldn't the girl watch t.v? Because her house burned down

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What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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