Q: Why did Captain Kirk suck his own dick? A: Nobody else was around, I guess.

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How do you make a Dead Baby Float..... ......With 3 scoops of ice cream and 1 cup of liquid stem cells.

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Dad: Blind side was the black kid who played tight end. Me: Offensive line. Dad: Sorry, African American kid.

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A plane crashed in the rainforest. The survivors all buried themselves because no survival equipment was left and they all sought to kill themselves in their deep state of shock and fear.

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Q.How many blonds does it take to change a light bulb? A.1

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What did the pc say to the Mac? You suck

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Son come here OK daddy Daddy what are you doing DADDY NO! DADDY NO!

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, build up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because her husband was abusive and he killed her for not making him a sandwich. They had to take the body the the funeral home so she could have a proper ceremony. Her friends and family mourned her daeth.

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Sally bought a shakeweight. She is an alcoholic and is ruining her family.

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I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don't know how much I want. They don't know my life. They don't know what I've been through.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have STD's, Now so do you!

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Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

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There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

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Why is the Asian 2nd grader sad? Her best friend was diagnosed with breast cancer. She has 3 weeks to live.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, my life didn't start, until I met you! :) Megan _____

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why are some people black? Because god decided there needs to be different people in the world therefore none are congruent

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dallen loves penis

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Guess what?..... I once saw a black man who had a job that wasnt on work release........

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what goes ha ha ha ..plop? We are all going to die.

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why did the chicken cross the road? i don't know u tell me

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What did one sexy babe say to the other? We are sexy

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What do you call a black guy who flys a plane? A pilot.

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Q: A man walked into a bar and said, "Ouch!" Why? A: The man walked into a METAL bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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