A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

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what's worse than falling and scraping your knee? living within a 10 mile radius of a Japanese nuclear reactor

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Mary.

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Why did whitney Houston become a drug addict? Because she made some very bad decisions in her life.

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what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

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What do you call a black man in church? Religious

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The war against the moral men was long and hard, yet the Victor stands, the most dark of metals. Nero Metal, enjoy 2016 as much as you can enjoy both hellfire and the wrath of heaven against you, as there will be years no more for mankind to Count, trust not my Words, but the visions in Your head, and if you doubt Your sanity, know that by september the 13th, you will not be the only one. The end of the children of God is upon you, as you took his, he shall take Yours, eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth... Rest well... ...While you still can`t

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Yo mamma so fat when I searched her on the internet, I got 28,000,000 results

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I'm called the! no i wish am I left

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how did the fat man survive the plane crash? he didn't, he died like everyone else.

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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What's brown and red? I lied about the red, it's dirt.

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

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What did the Zen Buddhist say in the hamburger store? He said, "Make me one with everything."

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Why was i sad when 4 black people in a cadillac fell over a cliff. The car blew up...

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how do you make a baby cry? put a nail through its foot

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What happened when the man turned on his TV? It was tuned to the Discovery Channel

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Knock knock. Who's there? Stop fucking around I told you I was coming. I'm sorry. Come in.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. But it was winter and they froze to death

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Q. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car. A. Get in the car.

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boling water: why is it taking so long for you to get hard? egg: sorry, it's just because i recently got laid by a chick.

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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Deja moo: The feeling you've heard this bull before.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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