A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't going to come.

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Wooooah! Thats literally the sound I made, anyway, can you like type the entire story in one setting, I feel weird, did you just try to hypnotize me? Anyway, are you trying to, woah, I am like high now...

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What did the man screem before he crashed his car? i dont know, he died.

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What do you get when you combine lemons, sugar and water? Lemons, sugar, and water

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What did the red apple say when it saw a black man an irish man, and an asian walk into a bar? nothing apples cant talk.

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Wanna know what I don't get? I was gonna say yo face, but that would be mean.

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http://www.booksie.com/declan_mckimm

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What do black people eat? What everyone else does!

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Two guys fight over a girl. The girl gets up from under them.

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When it comes ro the zodiac my grandmother was a cancer and... She ws killed by... A giant crab

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A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

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What did the bolt say to the wall?? nothing ,they just screwed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a car ran him over.

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

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Jon walked into a bar. Ouch.

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What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red shirt.

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Death by kayak

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Q: why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: He had no arms Q: Why couldn't he get up? A: He died when he hit the ground

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Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill your neighbor. Can I have some flour?

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Why were 5 tall white guys sitting on a bench? They were in the NBA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops