Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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what do u call a newspaper boy on brake? your uncle because hes broke and struggling with income.

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If you have 12 apples and I have 12 ice cubes how many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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Why did the little girl drop her balloon? Because she was getting raped in the face.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one.It is a very simple task for somebody who knows what to do.

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Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

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Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

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Two guys walk into a bar together. They are diagnosed with a concussion and later on in life have serious brain issues

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What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

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Whats black, blue, and red all over? A man who has just been severally beaten.

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Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

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Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your dick taste like shit.

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What did the Jewish boy get for Christmas? Nothing, Jews celebrate Hanukkah.

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what's black and hangs from a tree in my garden? a blackberry

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One day a baby hit himself on the head with a stuffed animal. I lied, it was a brick, so he died.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Your face Godammit!!!

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What do you do when you come across a dead baby? Add it to your collection.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

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Why is a bird when it flies? Because the higher it goes the much.

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What's black white and red all over? Steegers.

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How do you put 100 kids on a girls face ? skeet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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