Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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Your Mom is so fat.... When she's goes to McDonald's and orders 3 Big Macs the people standing in line behind her all look at her with disgust and a tinge of pity.

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Why do gingers get mad when people call them gingers? Because it hurts their feelings

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Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

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What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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How do you make an ugly person not ugly? Put a bag over their head. With,, a smiley face.

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If at first you don't succeed, go kill yourself

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Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Can you sign for this package? Certainly

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Hitler wasn't such a bad guy. He did kill Hitler.

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Why did the white man beat the black man in a fight? The white man was bigger. Also, he was a black belt in Brazillian Jiu Jitsu.

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do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

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If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

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All of these jokes are about white people

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how much kush does it take to get kushagra high

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Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

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Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

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Why'd the plane crash? Because the pilot was an orange.

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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Q: What is white, and comes out of a woman? A: No, milk you perve

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What do you call a swimming pool full of black people? A family enjoying their holiday.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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