Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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What's Blue And Fat? A Brick. I like to lie a lot.

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What is big, round, hairy, black with a little bit of white and red stripes, large feet, small hands, squinty eyes and a purple beret? Nothing. How ridiculous.

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks heavily and dies of alcohol poisoning.

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What's funny about a small child with no arms, no legs? Nothing.. Nothing at all.

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roses are red violets are microwaves i have amnesia what ma name iiizzz 'SHAWTAY

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Have you heard of the dog that sounds like Megan fox? No Oh, well ummm apperantally there's this ummm dog that sounds like Megan fox. So ummm yeah. Pretty interesting stuff

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why did the car go to the bathroom? it had gas.

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Q: There's a Brit, Kenyan, German, and Colombian in one room. Where are they? A: Public School

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Have You Ever Seen Stevie Wonder's New House? No.. Neither Has He.

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the rest of te people in his car.

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Why did the man lose the spelling bee? He was mentally retarded and had no friends.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Mormens...

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? YOU'RE UNDER ARREST! GET DOWN ON THE FLOOR! NOW!

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Why did the girl drop out of school? She was being sexually assaulted by her mothers alcoholic boyfriend and was having trouble coping.

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What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

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23 convicts were showering. One of them dropping his soap bar. The person next to him picked it up, and the one who dropped it said thanks.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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What's worse than a bruise in your knee? A bruise in your other knee. And what is worse than that? The Holocaust. And what is worse than that? A second Holocaust, much bigger, with much more casualties.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his wife in the hospital. She has terminal cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It didn't.

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Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops