Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put C where A is. :D

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? He said "Get in the car".

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according to the ewspickle, it is Dumbledore's favorite food.

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What's the difference between cancer and my grandmother? She doesn't have cancer.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

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WHat is funnier than a baby swimming. - A baby drowing.!

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Your momma's so fat she has a hard time finding clothes to fit

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

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Whats worse than getting a splinter? Taking a shower at penn state

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What's the best part about having sex with twenty eight year olds? They've reached sexual peak but aren't yet past it. Plus, they still aren't in their 30's.

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Why was the Jew gassed to death? Because he forgot to turn the gas off.

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Yo' mama's so poor that she can't afford many of the privileges of everyday life.

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whats big and can vibrate after you turn it on? A washing machine.

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What did the Black man say to the prostitute? Your job makes the risks of getting AIDs and other STDs much higher than the average person's.

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What's the hardest part of the pizza to eat? The motorbike.

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Impossible, non-living organisms are incapable of moving and babies lack the brain capacity to understand how to screw in a light bulb.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got run over on the way there.

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles there balls

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy. But I have Alzheimer's... Hey, I just met you...

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Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike? Because Lucy didn't like Mia and shot her in the face.

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Why do bats fly in circles? They're mentally retarded.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops