What would Hellen Keller say to Obama? Nothing she can't speak.

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Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? Their religion.

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what do you call a white man who appears to be standing on water? a surfer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No reason.

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Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

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A Jew walks into a gas chamber...

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead

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I have existed for over 6000 years and around vi0lating people long before you where ever born kid... You do not believe me you say? friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: You do not believe me? According to this DNA test... Welcome to papa son/daughter... Its time to make you a man/woman now, and then TIME TO MAKE YOU my BlTCH!

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Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

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what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

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how did the guy in the wheelchair cross the road he didnt he got dragged down the street cause his chair was hooked to the bus

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Q: Why did the child fall? A: Because I shot him in the leg.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a car ran him over.

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Q: what did Don Draper do after he saw an attractive woman at the ABC store? A: went home and thought about her while drinking his scotch.

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Why did the Indian have a hard time getting a hotel room? He didn't. He owned the hotel.

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why did kim kardashian get divorced? because she was unhappy with her marrige. and because shes a slut

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Why do white people drive big trucks? 'Cause they can afford it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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What is small, black and has 18 legs? A centipede with 82 legs cut off.

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ADAM SAS IS A GREAT GUY!

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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