An Iranian, a Mexican, and an American are on an airplane. The plane is too heavy to take off, so to lighten the load, each person has to throw off something their country has a lot of. The Iranian throws off a nuclear bomb. The Mexican throws off a sombrero. The American throws off an apple pie.

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What did the bad boy get for Christmas? Incurable cancer.

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what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

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How do you kill a black man wearing a bullet proof turbin? Shoot him anywere other then his turbin.

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I once duped this chick with a parrot. Crazy thing wouldn't shut up. The parrot was pretty cool

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why did nick kiss esther because he cheated

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why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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Who enslaves small people and forces them to work in his factory all year round in ridiculous outfits. Santa

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

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What has four legs and a tail? A table with a tail

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A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

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Steve Jobs is alive.

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What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

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star wars kid

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What did Osama Bin Laden Say to Obama when they met? Nothing Osama is Dead

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There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer while the other is just a water melon.

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Me:Oh wait, I got a joke! Friends:Oh boy, what is it? Tell us! Me:..my grandma died.. *Everyones silent* Some random guy:Oh haha, I get it! Me:Shut up, you have no friends. Some random guy: Oh........

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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What has two legs? Half a cat

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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Why couldn't Jimmy breathe? He had a knife in his throat!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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