What do you do if your walking into a room full of Lions and Jaguars? You stop walking.

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A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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Why did Jimy fell down the stairs, because he was adopted.

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What did Billy say to Jesus when he died? Nothing he went to hell. -Austin Conradt

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Q. What do you get when you put a Jew and Adolf Hitler in the same room? A. Trouble

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A blonde, a brunette and a red head are having a discussion on current issues. The brunette says she would like to see improvements in the environment. The red head says she would like to see the economy prosper. The blonde says she has to take a poop.

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Why did the boy fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms

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You're so fake, Barbara Millicent Roberts is jealous of you.

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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Wanna hear the most repeated joke on anti jokes? Why did [insert name here] fall off the swing? Because he/she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not [insert name here].

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Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

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A duck walks into a convenience store and asks for a tube of chapstick.He says "Put it on my tab".

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What's the difference between a bench and a mexican? A bench is an inatimate object that people sit on and a mexican is a person of mexican descent

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A horse walks into a bar. The horse says "why the short face?"

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Whats brown and a fag? A bundle of sticks

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What do u call a matthew vasquez with a guitar, a one man mariachi band... cuz he is mexican

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How do u kill a gay man? Shoot him in the head

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What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

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Q: What's one thing that 5 out of 6 people always agree on? A: Gang Rape

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Who is the most vile man in Britain? Jerry Carr, the guy who works at the casino.

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woman's rights

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1,000 americans jump off a plane. They all die as a result of not having parachutes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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