Brother : you see this hand Sister : yes Brother : if you dont leave ill slap you with it Sister : no you wont !SLAP!!!!

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A bloke runs into the bank, says to the girl "Stick 'em up!" She says "Righty-o, matey" and sellotapes his bollocks to the ceiling.

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Max Head fingered himself, HAH

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Question to make it sound like a racist joke? Politically correct answer that should not offend anyone.

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Larry The Cableguy....thats it.

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead live in the same neighborhood. They are Desperate Housewives

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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Q. How do you drowned a blond A. Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a pool

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Why was the boy in a wheelchair raising money to buy a basketball uniform? Because wheelchair basketball is a popular sport

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic and so am i

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Knock knock. Who is there? My wife. My wife who? My wife is a prostitute, selling her own body for money so we can afford drugs for my son who has cancer.

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what did the black guy get from churches chicken? fried chicken.

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Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

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how do you know when you've had too much to drink? . . . when you're dead.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Interviewer: Are you currently a smoker? Applicant: Are you implying that I look like a chimney?

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

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Whats 2 Plus 2? God Just Solve It.

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What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

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what is the difference between hitler and the jews? They had different religions

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What's worst than realizing your mom is actually a transvestite? Simultaneously realizing this means you are adopted

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What did the boy with no legs get? A treadmill.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops