Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

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What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

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What's worse than finding out your friend is gay? Being gang-raped.

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What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

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Ask me if I'm well Are you well? No

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What do you get when you add two boys and two girls in a basement? Four people fearing their lives during a tornado.

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Whats funnier than a black man? A black president

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Lil Wayne's song 6 foot 7 foot was named after my wewe

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What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

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Yo momma so fat shes eating right now

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I am black. And i will beat your children. At checkers. They can be the red .

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What did the chicken say to the cow? Cluck cluck Knock knock Who's there Chicken Chicken who? Chicken go cluck cluck, cow go moo Piggie go oink oink, how 'bout you?

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind, not to mention deaf and mute.

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Why isn't Michael Jackson good at chess? Because he's dead.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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Whats sad about 6 mexicans driving off a cliff in an escalade? An escalade sits 7 people.

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What did the murderer do after killing the family? he went to jail.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, FUCK, MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Hard work and dedication.

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a drunk man got 3 beers and a 5 whiskys

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What did Timmothy get when he got back from his vacation in a tropical destination? Malaria.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve you kind here." The black man says, "Is it because I'm black?" The bartender replies, "Yes."

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- i send you a friend request on facebook - okay

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops