why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

How do you stop a train? You stand in front of it.

What did the prisoner get for Christmas? A lethal injection.

What did the man do when he got home from work? Hit his wife.

antijoke is the best website.

Montague goes to the alcoholics meeting and says "Hello I'm Montague and I am an alcoholic" Evreyone points at him and chants "LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!" Montague is appaled, he expected to be welcomed with sympathy and respect. Then he realises his mistake. He has walked into meeting with a bottle of whisky and is wearing a Justin Beiber T Shirt

I wouldn't consider the Titanic sinking to be a disaster, ????It is better down where it is wetter under the sea! ????.

What do you call it when the Doctor goes back in time to meet himself? A pair o' Docs. What do you call it when Shaquille O'Neil goes back in time to meet himself? Shaquille O'Neil can't go back in time.

whats black and strange a paki

What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? They both can't ride a bike

What's fatter than your mum? Your mum's mum

Why was the Jew gassed to death? Because he forgot to turn the gas off.

Why did the car crash? Because the driver was blind

What do you do if a goose comes flying towards you? Duck.

Why Bono always walk barefoot ? Because he's an asshole.

How do you kill a baby swinging on a rope attached to a pole at 40 miles an hour? Hit it with a shovel.

A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender says, "Why the short face?"

What did the Ginger get for his birthday? A soul...................................……................……………•

What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

A Jew, a Catholic, and a Muslim walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What'll you have?" The Jew says, "I'll have a whiskey straight." The Catholic says, "I'll have a vodka tonic." The Muslim says, "I can't drink it's against my religion and I really shouldn't be here."

What's nappy,brown,intoxicated,and stealing my bike? A Blazed, black guy that stole my bike.

What's the best part about having sex with twenty eight year olds? They've reached sexual peak but aren't yet past it. Plus, they still aren't in their 30's.

a pope and a catholic priest walk into a bar... the priest orders... then the pope says to the bartender "I'll have what hes having." so the bartender takes out a small child and says ...."are you sure?"

1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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