A pirate walks in to a bar. The bartender notices he has a steering wheel in the front of his pants, so he says to the pirate, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, huh?" The pirate responds, "Arrrrrrrrr, it's for me carrrrr."

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was sick and tired of all the repeated monkey jokes and commited suicide and preceded to fall out of the tree.

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How does a dyslexic person read the word 'schitzophrenia'? Schitzophrenia. I leid abuot teh dyslxeia.

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who is gay wit mon james cornish

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What's worse than an earthquake? Two earthquakes. What's worse than two earthquakes? Three earthquakes. What's worse than three earthquakes? The world exploding.

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My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

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Why are Indians so bad at football? Curry

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he got shot in the face. Why couldn't the boy get back on the swing? He had no arms. Why didnt his mum come and save him? She is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair.

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-Bumper Sticker- Honk if you love Jesus. (Text while driving if you want to meet him)

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Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

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Q: Wgat do you call a black man's dead bodie? A: A corpse.

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How do you kill a blind man, run over him in slow motion

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If life gives you lemons, You throw them as hard as you can at the nearest stranger. If life gives you melons, You're probably dyslexic.

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Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. To collect taxes from the houses on the other side

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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I saw a stray dog the other day So I petted it and got on my way.

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Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

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A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

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whats floppy and smells like trout? trout.

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What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

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One Direction has 12 letters. So does gayyyyyyyyyy. Coincidence? I think not.

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Johny got a iphone ipad and a macbook. He bragged to his friend. His friend said, i got an apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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