What did the coconut say to the lizard? Nothing, the coconut fell off the tree and killed the lizard.

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Half life 3 confirmed

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What's the difference between a duck and male black prostitute? The duck is says quack

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What is worse than throwing your baby in the river? Letting Moses out of Egypt

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychological disorder.

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What do you call a man with no arms and half an eye? Larry -Jack Sparrow

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What do you call a woman with two black eyes? Irish sunglasses

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A black man and a mexican jump off a building at the same time, who lands first? Who cares?

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A: What did the Orange say to the Mango? B: Sup Hommie?! A: Wtf.... (awkwardly walks away)

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Naturally I meant to say "Its no fun even when they DO scream in pain" below... What do you think I got? Pleasure? Your friendly r*pist Moral Man: Of course I got pleasure! ;) But I wont share with you!

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What did Facebook say to Twitter, and twitter to blogg ant blogg to youtube? nothing. They cant talk..

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Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

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Why wouldn't they give Helen Keller a driver's liscense? Because she was a woman.

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why did you poop because you are a poop

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Bill goes and buys 45 watermelons, what does he have? 45 watermelons.

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Why the kid can't get off the water? Because your feet is on his head

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Why did the chIcken cross the road? To escape the holocaust.

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It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave

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What do you call 1 black guy and 9 other white guys? Patrick Mills

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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What did the drunk man say to the average civilian? Blahaahahahahahuhuh!

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Why don't pineapples grow on pine trees? Because they're tropical.

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Why did the blond cross the road? The police officer who arrested her for shoplifting parked his car on the other side of the street.

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What does the ship say when it's cold? Shiver me timbers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops