Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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What is orange and smells like oranges? Oranges.

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A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

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I am green. You are blue. Jokes are infinite. This is too.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

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ms caissie is secretly laughing at these...

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What's blue and can't read? The Pacific Ocean

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What's worse than an earthquake? Two earthquakes. What's worse than two earthquakes? Three earthquakes. What's worse than three earthquakes? The world exploding.

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what do you call a black man flying an airplane a pilot, you racist

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What is black white and red all over? A zebra which a lion did not finish eating.

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

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A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

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Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

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Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Whats green and has wings? grass, I lied about the wings.

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What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

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Why didn't the mexican make the basketball team? He had never practiced and was overweight

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What do Helen Keller and Beethoven have in common? They both died wondering what the hell their last words were.

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What did the lawyer name is daughter? Caroline, in honor of his grandmother who died in THe Holocaust.

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What do you call a black man in the south? An example of diverse America

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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