A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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What's worse than biting into a worm in your apple? Being run over by a stampede of elephants

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What do you call a black man with a lip desiese? Jumbo shrimp

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Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

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A kid walks into a bar. He leaves wasted.

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What did Ghandi tell St Peter as he passed through the Gates of Heaven? He didn't. There is no afterlife.

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Why'd the cop pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

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Knock knock. whos their! Grammar police. We'd like to have a little chat.

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How do you make a pool table laugh? You cant it is'nt a living thing which means emotions.

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What do a Nazi and a Democrat have in common? They are both members of a highly supported political faction.

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A man walks into a bar. He asks for a beer. One of the bar tenders twlls him they are all out. He takes out his gun. He has 1 bullet and there are 3 bar tenders. He wants to kill them all. What does he do? A: Shoots 1 and pegs bricks at the other two.

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What do you get a Jewish boy for Christmas? Nothing he died in 1943!

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Why do things made by Glen taste so good? Because he has mastered the cream

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What do you do when a burglar breaks into your house and tries to kill and rape you and you family? Nothing, he as an AK-47 and shoots you all dead and then has sex with your corpses.

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What do a plum and a bunny have in common? They're both purple. Except the bunny.

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A man walks into a bar. He then takes a step back and notices that his head hurts.

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How many blondes does it take to finish a math test? 1 if she isn't copying.

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What sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler.

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Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO? A: One is a human while the other is an unidentified flying object.

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What does society have in common with laundry? They both get ruined when you mix colors with whites.

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You are joking right?

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Why was the young child dead in the middle of the road? His mother wasn't there to prevent him from chasing the ball across the road, and therefore, he ran in front of a truck

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How do you make a fat man cry? You call him fat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side... (other side as in the afterlife, for it committed suicide by crossing the road)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops