What has two legs and oinks? Half a pig.

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do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

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What's the difference between a lesbian and a Pringle ? One is a snack cracker, the other is a crack snacker.

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whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

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Why did the Asian man have to sit down to pee? Because he had no legs.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was making its way home after a long day of luckless job interviews

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Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

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The number 69 is? Just a plain old number that has just as much meaning as 68 and 70.

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What's funny about your mom? Nothing, she died three weeks ago.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, Retinal Hemorrhage.

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Yo mamas so poor, she should probably find a source of consistent payment to support herself.

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Whats faster than a black guy with a tv? His brother who is a dentist and drives a fast sports car.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

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Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

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Why was the little boy late for school? Because he was hit by a truck.

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why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. why;d the banana fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

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Why was a black man in a police car? He is a police officer.

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What do you call a black man who flys an airplane? A Pilot

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You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

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So there were these three guys on a plane, one with a ruptured hernia, one with a stomach infection and one with a raging case of gingivitis. Half way through the flight the pilot said, "unfortunately we will not it make to our destination... we are crashing." The three men then went to get the parachutes. they then say that there was only two. the man with the ruptured hernia picked one up and threw it out the door and pushed out the guy with the stomach infection. The guy with the raging case of gingivitis said, "why did you do that... we could have used that parachute!" the man with the ruptured hernia responded, "taco." and jumped out of the plane. the pilot then goes on the intercom and says," sorry. false alarm. we will not be crashing, please enjoy the rest of your flight."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops