What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

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What dd the man say to his wife? Make me a samich!

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Whats the opposite of red? Fish!

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you need 2 pple for this. Ask me if im a tree? Are you a tree? no

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a larger worm in your apple.

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What did the Jewish girl do when I asked for her number? Roll up her sleeve...

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Why did the boy fall off his skateboard before running into a cross-section? Because he was shot.

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Wife, "Wake up... i think there's someone in the house, do something... go downstairs and have a look!" Husband, "Do it yourself." Wife, "You what? You can't expect a woman to fight off an intruder..." Husband, "You women wanted equal rights so here you go, do it yourself."

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some poems have endings

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what did the black women name her child jamaal

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A horse enters a bar. The bartender looks at the horse and says "Why the harness?"

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"How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door." "How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door." "The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend.... except one. Which one?" "The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator." "There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat." "You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting."

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Q: What did hitler say to his generals? a: In a circumstance as the one we have found ourselves in. Eliminating our most threatening of enemies would be very logical. Unless they were of the superior race therefore, it may be frowned apon by our low ranked comrades. Causing another assasionation attempt on myself. So in conclusion I believe eliminating a rich and intelligent race far more superior than our own, would be the best way to go. So collect the Jews of Warsaw and we might have a chance.

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What's worse than finding a spider hidden in your sheets? The spiders being followers of the devil then sucking out your soul and giving it to the devil while your body gets stretched and you die a very painful death.

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nick Oh hi Nick come in

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What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

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Why did the Asian student do well in school? Because he worked hard and studied everyday

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it looking for food for it was starving to death.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Big Brother. Big Brother who? That's right. ALL are who, Akbar!

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Why was 10 afraid of 9? Because 9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1...Kaboom!

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A man walks into a police station with a gun... He is there to turn it in, he found it on the side of the road and realized that this situation would best be handled by the proper authorities.

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Timmy's mom is an alcoholic. His dog is asleep in the backyard. Timmy asks his mother, "Why is our dog sleeping?" His mother replies, "It's not sleeping, its dead."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops