Dad: Blind side was the black kid who played tight end. Me: Offensive line. Dad: Sorry, African American kid.

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A boy walks into a bar. He wakes up in a hospital 3 days later with a bruise on his head. He asks the doctor, "What happened?" The doctor replies, "The bartender smashed a glass on your forehead."

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What do you call a cat with a pop tart for a body and rainbows flying out of its butt? Nyan Cat

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A blind man walks into a bar No literally he does, he has a guide dog and everything, he's a capable member of society, don't be rude.

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A platypus walks into a bar. Why is there a butter knife in my basement?

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What is green and fuzzy and can kill you when it falls out of a tree A pooltable

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A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

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A father and son get into a car crash. They go to the hospital and both the father and son are unconsciuos. The doctor comes in to the son's room and says, "I can't operate on this boy, he is my son. How could this happen if the dad is knocked out? It was a gay couple.

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This is not an anti-joke... A man is walking down a street and see's a small boy crying in an alley. The man walks up to him and asks him "What's wrong little guy?" The boy replies that his family is poor, they just got evicted from there house and his parents decided to kill themselves. The man decides out of guilt to bring the boy home and support him for a few days. Three days later the man see's a note on the couch that says "Thank You..." Signed Jamal. The man sighs and says to himself "Your Welcome." The man walks into his room and see's the boy's body in his closet. He starts hysterically laughing and cries into his pillow for many minutes. When he is done sobbing he asks himself "What could be worst than this?" The man walks to his kitchen asking that question over and over. He reaches into his cabinet and grabs his cereal and pours into his bowl. The boy walks out chuckling and says, "Bye bye..." The man was poisoned and died. Now the boy get's the other cereal out and is about to pour it only to find out it was empty. "Screw the Holocaust this SUCKS!!!!!"

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knock knock whos there? dave dave who ? dave starts to cry because his grandmothers oldtimers has restricted her from remembering her grandson dave.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the only way to get across

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How do you knock a cat out of a tree? If that doesn't work, use a lethal BB gun

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I SAID I WANT A GLASS OF JUICE. NOT I WANT TO GAS THE JEWS!-hitler

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If you die, and have 5 cents in your pocket, does the toast still land jelly side down?

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Why do black people always sit in the back of the bus? There aren't any available seats in the front.

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Never mail in your wished to a genie, he may be dyslexic.

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dallen loves penis

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black people swimming

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why did the black child cry? strange men cut his penis off

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It's likely that very few people will read this.

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Hey Patrick what am i ? Ebola No im Texas! What's the difference?

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Doctor: You want the good news or bad news? Patient: Bad news. Doctor: You have terminal cancer. Patient: What's the good news? Doctor: You have AIDS.

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What has four legs and is always ready to travel? Siamese twin fugitives.

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When life gives you lemons, chuck them at someone's face!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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