how do you make a plumber cry? pull up his pants....

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why does Tim Teblow love men? Logan Cole told him to.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Who is a pussy ass bitch and is and has a chode? - Jeff Misner

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Me John Kasich! Me win Ohio primary!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock knock. Who's there? Bob, your neighbor. Okay, come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's worse then AIDS? Chad Wolbert

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Hollywood presents: In a world... Where darkness and crime is at every corner... The governments darkest secret... MUST... BE... UNLEASHED! Jack Kirby: So, with this technology I can swallow criminals and gain their abilities? But is there not a lot wrong with this? Hollywood: Meh... Sorry, we are gonna go with The Fast and The Furious 64: Mario Kart style.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock Knock Who's There Fat white lady with dreadlocks Fat white lady with dreadlocks who? want to buy some girls scout cookies?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the man die when he hugged the pillow? He was hallucinating at the grand canyon.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q:What do you call a mexican witha clean record? A: Impossible

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Red my dear, we are no exceptions.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

So I was standing in line at the grocery store and this little old lady let me cut in front of her. It was neat.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A vulture gets on a transatlantic flight with a dead animal in each claw. The flight attendant stops him, and says "I'm sorry, sir, only one piece of carrion per passenger allowed"

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did hitler say to the jews? Die.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Does Anti-Joke have a purpose?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did one wall say to the other wall? Nothing. Walls are inanimate objects and thus incapable of conversing with one another.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do all homosexuals have in common? Not much.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Wife: "I suggest you check properly next time you lose your keys so that you find them quicker" Husband: "I suggest that next time I sit down and have a beer while I wait for Doc Martin and his time machine to give my keys back.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

The Big Band Theory

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the elephant die? It was murdered by poachers for it's valuable ivory tusks.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Will farrow now gimme your hentai"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops