Why did Johnathan drop his popsicle? He was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Johnathan

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Why couldn't tom concentrate on his homework? Because he was a loaf of bread.

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Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's going to buy you a another mockingbird.

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Do you know what the worst part about inbreeding is? - It's runs in the family!

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roses are red. violetss are black. a knife would go good in your back

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Obama = ebola

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Joey: hey bobby who you talking to? Bobby: oh yeah I forgot to tell you your mom died.

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench is nonsentient, generally heavier and not necessarily light-dark brown colored, whereas the black man is fully capable of thinking and usually has dark toned skin.

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That awkwad moment when a homeless man runs naked around a golf cource yelling hears the 19th hole bitches.

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What make's a constuction worker drop's his hammer? MC Hammer moves.

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A man walks into a bar He is now in the emergency room suffering from deep lacerations to the forehead as well as a bloody nose.

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Why couldn't Bruce drive a truck? Cause Bruce was a Fish.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

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Jesse uses a prescription shampoo called " greasey poop" because he feels like his hair doesnt look greasy enough. He cries himself asleep every night because he wants a slim body like the rest of the cool kids, so he eats his pain away, which digs him an even deeper hole. the life of Jesse zigenbein is quite tragic to say the least. Please donate 10$ to the "eat ourselves to sleep" campaign

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Q: Are you a tree? A: No.

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Why is it OK to make fun of a deaf person? Because they can't hear.

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What is the only non-racist animal? The mexican panda. Why? It's black, white, hispanic, and asian.

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What's slow and spotted? A cheetah, I lied about the slow part

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A horse walks into a butcher shop and asks for two apple pies. The butcher says "sorry, but we don't have apple pies. It's a butcher shop." And the horse says "nevermind, I came here on my bike."

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Q: What did the forgetful person say to the other? A:

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Why did Humpty Dumpty fall off the wall? The wall was unstable and not to be sat on.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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