How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

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What did the poor boy get for Christmas? Orphaned.

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hashtags suck balls

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Why can't Lake Mossman find his penis? Because he's a fat ass, and he doesn't have any arms.

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What happens when you shoot someone? They die.

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Roses are red, Facebook is blue, we have mutual friends, and violets are blue and roses are red. FRIDGE

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Why did the blonde get a tattoo of her adress on her arm? She never wanted to forget her great childhood at her family home, and she hoped that she would come back some day.

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Two blonds walk into a building....they couldnt see it.

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Obama One Big Ass Mistake America

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Q: Whats better than not being a Jew? A: Being a Jew.

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Why doesn't a ducks quack echo? Actually, it does, but the echo is imperceptible to human ears.

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How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? depends on how thin you can slice them.

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Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

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If your fighting an octopus on mars how many lamps does it take to repair a dog house? Nine because a toaster cannot ride a bicycle.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the street? A: Because that was the direction it was headed.

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A sad guy walks in to a bar and the bartender asks, what's the matter? The guy responds, I just found out i'm deaf

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I haven't been this tired since the last time I was tired

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was stapled to the head of a penis that belonged to an asian man

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what did the boy with cancer get for Christmas a pair of shoes

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give a man a blow job and he'll come for a second. teach a man to blow job and .... no that just doesn't work

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb? NONE A YO F******G BUSINESS!!!

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What do you get when you breed a dog and a cat together? A call from the RSPCA.

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A white man a black man a french man and a mexican are on a sinking ship. The French man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of begets over board. The Black man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of red hot cheetos overboard The Mexican man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of Tacos over board. And then the White man says "we have too many of these" and throws the Mexican man overboard

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#If you go down in the woods today, your sure of a big surprise #If you go down in the woods today, you better go in disguise. # I don't know why, I started typing this out and realized I couldn't actually come up with a suitable concluding line.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops