Why doesn't the farmer have a dog? He doesn't like dogs.

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if someone chucks skittles at u and says "taste the rainbow!!!!" chuck m&ms at them and say "Im not afraid!!!!!"

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my friend died in a car crash, now i have no friends.

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Why the babie was not drinking his milk? He was dead.

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There were two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Does it feel hot in here?". The other muffin says back, "Holy crap! It's a talking muffin!".

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were 5 brothers chasing it with a bat.

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A black man walks into a bar. The barman says 'We don't serve your kind here'. The man leaves and goes to a nearby bar that doesn't have racist staff.

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Q: How do you find the population of Mexico? A: Take a census

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Why is nate asian? no one knows neither of his parents appear to be of asian desent

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what's 2 + 2 ? 4, unless you add it up wrong.

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Q. Why doesn't a woman need a wrist watch? A. Because they're actually becoming generally obsolete with the advent of the cell phone.

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Whats cooler than cool? nothing because cool does not have a defined temperature therefore nothing can be cooler than it.

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George Lopez never said anything funny in his life.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was a woman

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A guy went to a girl asked if she wanted to have sex with him. She said yes and they promptly had sex.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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What do you call a spoiled black daughter? Tiana (Disney Princess)

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What is worse than menopause? Falling down the stairs breaking your next....

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners unfamiliar with the Latin alphabet.

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Did you see my sandwitch? No. I am your sandwitch, and therefore no one thought to put me up to a mirror. Would you like me to? No. I have no eyes. And why are you talking to a sandwitch??? ...

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Knock, knock ... ... ... Well I guess no one is home.

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Why is the baby not crying? Because it died of herpes. JUST KIDDING! Babies can't get herpes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops