What worse than a hurt puppy? Two hurt puppies.

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what did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "Grggglgluglguggarglegerrrllggglge"

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What did the kI'd with cancer get for Christmas? A coffin.

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Old McDonald had a farm. He grew corn there, and got reasonably wealthy. Then he retired to the Bahamas.

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your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it shows that she is overwhieght

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What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

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It only takes one drink to get me drunk.

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How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

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a man walks into a bar.... his? drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

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what do you call a fish with no gills? Dead

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First speaker: "why are there so many anti-jokes about something walking into a bar!?!? Second speaker: "there are only a couple thousand of them." First speaker: "it is getting so damn annoying!" Second speaker: "Well, that's too bad for you" The first speaker proceeds in stabbing himself with a knife while laughing hysterecly. First speaker: "ha ha ha ha" Second speaker "emo."

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(two firefighters are climbing an undersea mountain in Brazil) Why do elephants fear the natural causes of silver icecream cones? Because the cars in the parking garage jump the moon while doing jumping jacks.

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What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza? The black man is a human being with all of man's well-deserved rights, and the large pizza is an edible item. Furthermore, the black man, if adult and employed, has the propensity to feed a family of four far longer than a large pizza can.

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What can you tell by a black guy who walks into a bank with a ski mask on? His face was severely disfigured in a horrific accident.

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How many calories are in a bag of Fritos? 160 calories.

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What's the difference between your momma and a bucket of shit? Well, for starters your mother and a bucket of shit aren't even made of the same physical structure, and secondly, your mother is sentient while a bucket is not.

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What did the Chinese man say to the black man? I'm Part of my Asian herritage.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a corvette? I didn't get 20 years for owning a corvette.

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"knock knock" "whos there?" "pizza delivery!"

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Why did the blonde fail her drug test? She's actually never did drugs before but since she didn't show up for appointment, that counts as an automatic fail.

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What's worse than dying of boredom? ...Being stabbed.

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Why do things made by Glen taste so good? Because he has mastered the cream

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Guy 1: So how did you get into hospital Guy 2: I was drinking near my computer Guy 1: So why did it explode? Guy 2: (Doesn't reply)

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What do you call a child that has been stabbed? A dead child

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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