Knock Knock Who's there? John John who? John Williams.

How many Anne Franks does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, cause she's dead.

What is a good remedy for the common cold? A piping hot bowl of chicken-noodle soup.

What's green and has wheels? grass... i lied about the wheels

why was the boy sad He was just abused by his parents and had aids

Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven killed off his entire family.

What did John say to Tim Hi I'm John

Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

Kinky = using a feather Perverted = using the whole chicken Weird = using chicken bones Downright disgusting = all of the above, plus a cat

So this squirrel is walking across the road when a HUGE truck comes and smashes him beneath the tire.

How do you fit an elephant inside your car? I don't understand why this task would even need to be performed. I have never arrived anywhere in my car and thought "Sure could use an elephant right about now..."

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

if u ever get arrested by cop, just tell the cop this: "No no officer, you got it all wrong. It was only a game. It's called RAPE."

What is blue and has wheels? A disabled Smurf!

Knock Knock Who's there? Who Who who? Hoodini

Mike: Johnny pass me the sauce Johnny: I can't pass you the sauce Mike: Johnny pass me the sauce Johnny: I can't pass you the sauce Johnny could pass Mike the sauce as he has no arms and Mike kept on asking as he has short onset alzheimer's.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being black

Your mom is so fat she decided to get out of bed and exercise because she realized her health would become serious and wanted ot do something about it.

What's worse than being named SAID? Having AIDS.. And getting a bee sting - it hurts like ****!

Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Clearly the only answer is because he's blind

Something strange in you're neighborhood. Who you gonna call? The police.

Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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