What's the difference between a lamp?

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How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

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Two black guys were walking down a street to meet up a local drug dealer. Turns out the black guys were undercover cops who arrested the drug dealer and both recieved awards for finding the criminal.

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What's a vampire's favorite dessert? Vampire's don't exist What's Helen Keller's favorite dessert? Helen Keller doesn't exist

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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Why did the family sue disney? Because at a meet and greet location mickey mouse shot their youngest in the heart.

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whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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A muslim walks out of a plane.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because the light was red!

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what do you call a black man in the bank holding a bag of money. One wealthy man

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

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Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it looked both ways and saw no cars coming.

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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What did the schoolgirl say to some of the people of Anti-Joke.com? You're sick. Stop talking about the Holocaust.

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Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops