Why did the Alzheimer's patient fail the history exam? I don't remember.....

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What do you call a man with a Club approaching a Seal Very Strong considering he can hold a building

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

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What did the kid say when the doctor said he had cancer Oh No

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why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

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Q: Whats metal and shiny? A: You're lame childhood accomplishments.

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A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

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A muslim walks onto a plane. He goes to 13C as that is his seat designated on his ticket.

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Dear Six, Please stop spreading rumors about me and nine. I hear you two also do some pretty nasty things. Love, Seven.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A jew is a human being who will understand and laugh at a joke, while a pizza will just sit there because it is only a delicious thing that people eat.

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Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? Because he always increases the treble input in his songs, and he doesnt have a rod.

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What did you call something that is long, hard and full of seamen? A ship.

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How do you know when your pizza is ready? When the oven timer goes off, indicating that it is done.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple Finding 2 worms in your apple

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Why was the man attracted to other men? Because he was gay, and that is typically what happens when people are attracted to members of the same sex, and it is as natural as a man being attracted to women.

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A horse walks into a bar You have been reading so many anti jokes that you can actually anticipate the anti-joke punchline to this joke, because it is one of maybe 3 or 4.

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Whats faster than a mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

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I'm a wise old man, so I'm aloud to touch you in the bathing suit area.

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How high is the grass in Germany? Approximately the same height as the grass in America.

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What is green and slow Grass.

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

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Whats the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? You can't unload one with a pitchfork

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whats black and yellow and screams? A bus full of black kids going over a cliff.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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