What happens when a monkey eats banana. It throws them up and gets some blueberry pie.

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What do you call a woman with two black eyes? Irish sunglasses

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What do you call a man with no arms and half an eye? Larry -Jack Sparrow

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A duck walks into a grocery store. He looks at the shopkeeper, who then grabs a broom and shoos him back outdoors.

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What happens when you put a baby, a dog and a cat in the same bag They will all most likely suffocate if left in the bag too long

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

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Q: How do you know what will happen when the world willl end? A: by experience

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What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

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Did you hear about the monkey in the tree? Oh no wait. It was a lizard.

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Person A - you must be tired, cuz you've been running though my mind all day Person B - i have no legs...

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Kim Jong Un thinks that he is in shape. And when you think about it, he's right. Round is a shape.

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Who do you call when there is a ghost in your house? You should problably call the doctor, you may be hallucinating.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenic, and don't have any friends

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Who's Juan? DIS ONE

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A blonde girl walks into a hairdressers and asks for a slight trim. She leaves the hairdressers fairly happy with the result although she was unhappy with the price which she later concluded was most likely because of the rising inflation. However overall she felt it had been a successful outing.

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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A man is pulled over for drunk driving, and is asked to say the alphabet backwards. When requested to do so, the man says, "officer, I can't even do that when I'm sober," thus admitting that he is drunk. The police officer chuckles at the drunk man's stupidity, and wonders whether or not his wife would find the incident funny. After all, they do share a similar sense of humor.

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Yo mama so fat she at the rest of this joke.

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Ol-ive

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Someone: I like my coffee like I like my men Someone else: Black? Someone: No, tied up, shoved in a burlap sack, and dragged through the mountains.

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i like my rose red and my diamonds blue your screamin mercy so did ur mom but i killed her to

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Q: Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M Factory? A: It's hard to say. HR can not discuss the details of her termination, and the blonde signed a non-discloure agreement. She has since relocated to Biloxi with her family and is doing quit well.

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Why did the black person jump the fences? because he was in a relay race.

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What did the retarded kid get for chrismas? Nothing the orphanage could not afford to give presents to all of the retarded children

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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