how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

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Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house?. No, Well neither has he...

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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Next Q: What's worse than a bee sting? A: Two bee stings. Q: What's worse than two bee stings? A: Three bee stings. Q: What's worse than three bee stings? A: Sexual assault.

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What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

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What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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A fully grown cow walks into a man's house and says to him, "Hey, how have you been?" Traumatized by the vivid circumstances, the man falls to the floor and begins sobbing relentlessly until he passes out onto the floor from a violent mental breakdown.

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Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

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a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause he felt like it.

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whats similar between a chicken and an alligator they both gobble except for they alligator

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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

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What's worse than finding 7 dead babies in a bin? Finding one is missing.

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What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

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Q. What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? A. An ambulance due to the fact that he has a rather serious head wound.

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What's worse than being fired? Eating a bucket of diarrhea.

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A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

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Inbreeding is really funny if you think about...

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I once duped this chick with a parrot. Crazy thing wouldn't shut up. The parrot was pretty cool

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Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops