Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she's a woman

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What do you call a person who is black? A black person.

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What word starts with N and ends with R that you never want to call a black person? Neighbor.

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Why did the muffin not eat the other muffin. Because muffins do not have a digestive system.

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tiger woods played golf against peyton manning and yet tiger still cant win.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

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Why aren't fish good at telling jokes? Their neural structure isn't capable of processing languages or creating a method of communicating with humans, thus they both do not know any jokes since they are incapable of understanding the concept of humour.

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two peanuts were walking down the street one was assualted

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a brick cheats on another brick the brick finds out and dose nothing because it is a brick

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What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? They both can't ride a bike

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If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

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A man in a state penitentiary drops his soap. He then picks it up and continues his shower.

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Why didn't Clemson accept John Burns' college application? Because John Burns was wanted for five counts of first degree murder.

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I wouldn't consider the Titanic sinking to be a disaster, ????It is better down where it is wetter under the sea! ????.

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Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

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What does the redhead miss most at a party? Her father. He was in a car accident when she was young.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

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Gay rights.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

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So there were these three guys on a plane, one with a ruptured hernia, one with a stomach infection and one with a raging case of gingivitis. Half way through the flight the pilot said, "unfortunately we will not it make to our destination... we are crashing." The three men then went to get the parachutes. they then say that there was only two. the man with the ruptured hernia picked one up and threw it out the door and pushed out the guy with the stomach infection. The guy with the raging case of gingivitis said, "why did you do that... we could have used that parachute!" the man with the ruptured hernia responded, "taco." and jumped out of the plane. the pilot then goes on the intercom and says," sorry. false alarm. we will not be crashing, please enjoy the rest of your flight."

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Why did the teenager drink a beer? Because it was actually full of sizzurp

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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