So there were these three guys on a plane, one with a ruptured hernia, one with a stomach infection and one with a raging case of gingivitis. Half way through the flight the pilot said, "unfortunately we will not it make to our destination... we are crashing." The three men then went to get the parachutes. they then say that there was only two. the man with the ruptured hernia picked one up and threw it out the door and pushed out the guy with the stomach infection. The guy with the raging case of gingivitis said, "why did you do that... we could have used that parachute!" the man with the ruptured hernia responded, "taco." and jumped out of the plane. the pilot then goes on the intercom and says," sorry. false alarm. we will not be crashing, please enjoy the rest of your flight."

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their was a black man in my family tree hes still hanging on

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a mus lim walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the mus lim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the mus lim that he's keeping company with a swine, and the mus lim feels offense for the poor horse.

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What did the politician say to the other politician? We are both politicians.

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How did the man kill the black fly? He called the KKK fly and had it lynch the black fly

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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Day turn night. Dreaming is now true . Turn on your flashlight, slenderman is behind you.

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Why did the Asian man have to sit down to pee? Because he had no legs.

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Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

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Q. What did the blond say when she woke up? A. I don"t know. I wasn't there.

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Hitler wasn't such a bad guy. He did kill Hitler.

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Do you know what happens to a toad when it's struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

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Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

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a brick cheats on another brick the brick finds out and dose nothing because it is a brick

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Maybe we simply need to keep the door open, but one cannot bring happiness to others, until one is happy oneself. Do I change something within you Red?

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two peanuts were walking down the street one was assualted

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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Q: Why did the child fall? A: Because I shot him in the leg.

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What is brown and sticky? A lot of things are brown and sticky

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What did the baseball coach say to his son? Nothing. He was dead.

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A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom says, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender replies, "Exactly. That's a health hazard. The health department already gave two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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