Jack and Jill went up the hill....Just kidding, it was only Jill. Jack had no legs

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What did the french toast say to the french fry? I don't know, I don't speak french.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words are merely the smallest element of language capable of containing meaning and isolation and, as such could never directly produce the 4,000 Newtons of force per square centimetre required to break bones.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic and so am i

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what did the Nazi say to the Jew? I hate you

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Why did the plane crash? The Pilot Wash a Loaf of Bread

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A terrorist robs a walrus.

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Why'd the kid stick ice up his nose? To keep his lunch cold.

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Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

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how did the woman get her baby to stop crying? she hit him with a axe

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies "my whole family was killed in 911... And I used the money I got from life insurance to get plastic surgery to always have a smile on my face. My doctor botched the surgery, so now my face is elongated. Even for a horse, of course."

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cake cake and no cake, your life just ended

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Roses are red Violets are blue Plants are green because of the high levels of mitochondria in their cells.

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Roses are red violets are blue i have aids and now so do you

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

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A man walks into a restaurant and asks a waiter, "Do you serve crabs here?" The waiter says, "Certainly! In fact, stuffed crab is today's special."

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A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his town.

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Knock knock. who's there? Banana. Banana Who? Knock KNOCK!!! WHO IS THERE!!! BANANA!!!! BANANA WHOOOOO!!! Banana Johnson....... I'M YOUR NEIGHBOR!!!!

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Why did little Lynn fall of her bike? Because she has no legs.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Slowly being tortured to death.

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Are you thinking Arby's? No. My grandmother died of tuberculosis and it's troubling me.

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took my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry

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So a guy walks into a bar.... he gets a few drinks pays his bill and goes home.

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how many baby's does it take to paint a wall?? depends how hard u throw them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops