Why did the girl drop her ice cream? Because seeing as a bus was heading straight toward her, she quickly decided to sacrifice her frozen treat and dodge the oncoming vehicle in order to save her life.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

"What's your name?" "Josephine." "Josephine?" "No, Josephine." "That's what I said." "I know,"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

how much fish could a chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree no

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the TV not turn off? You need to use a remote.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a piece of Swiss cheese with human characteristics? Abnormal.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's Green and has Wheels? Ian Leighton... I LIED ABOUT THE GREEN

thumb_up thumb_down -11

how do you make a cripple depressed? stairs..

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are rose, violets are violet, that's just a fact, I've got aspergers.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why did the black man start crying? because his ancestors were treated horribly

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why do migets laught when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Two corns were decided to get married. In wedding, bridegroom can't find bride, so he asked a popcorn next to him, "Do you know where is the bride?" The popcorn answered, "I just change my hair style."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the asian driver crash his car? Because he was driving while intoxicated.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is about the size of a sausage, flesh-colored and looks like a penis, if you illuminate it with a flashlight on monday nights? - a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Fred and DooDah go to their favorite lake to fish. After getting out on the water, DooDah hooks a huge fish, which pulls him overboard, and he drowns. Fred is brokenhearted and goes to tell DooDah's wife the news. She opens the door and hears Fred sing: "Guess who drowned in the lake today? DooDah! DooDah!"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

You attend a school atop a hill in the middle of the town. A river flows east of the hill, under the bridge built for the highway that runs two miles behind the school. You mother leaves for work at 6:00 a.m., and your brother leaves at 9:00 a.m. Schools starts at 7:30 a.m., and you have to pick up a sandwich on the way, for lunch. Also, you forgot to do an assignment that's due today, and it'll take you at least thirty minutes to complete it. How do you get to school on time? You walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A bear wakes up from hibernation and is hungry. He sees a nearby forest cabin and decides to see if he can find food inside. The bear breaks into the cabin and thus the people staying there frantically run away to call animal control.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

You are in a room with hitler and bin Ladin. You have a gun with 1 bullet. Who do shoot? Don't worry you don't have to make that decision. They are already both dead

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There is a Asian a black guy and a white guy the black guy loves apples the white guy loves pears and the Asian loves Macaroni the white guy gets a apple the black guy gets a pear and the Asian has no lunch so the black guy kills the white guy for the apple and the Asian kills the black guy because he is hungry

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops