Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

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If you eat a brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundae, your tastebuds will likely turn purple and move to France, where people don't eat brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundaes.

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Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

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I met a muslim girl the other day Shes the bomb

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What has four legs and rocks? Your baby kitten that just got stoned to death.

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WHAT? FRIENDS? DID YOU NOT READ MY QUICKFUCK PROFILE? Likes: Orgies. Favorite color: Pussy. Description:Looking for women with vaginas (maybe an asshole is fine too) Please, I am a womanizer, of course we are friends, heck I am even romantic, you know romantic as in... Uh... Well, maybe not my rose bud... (because that did really not appear at the solve media right now)

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Ask me if I care. Do you care? No.

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knock,knock you suck

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Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

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Whats the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Unfortunate

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Q: What's worse than burning your tongue on hot chocolate. A: Getting shanked by a homeless man

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A black man approaches a customer service desk and asks for help. He is racially discriminated and receives no help with his problem.

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Why did the rapper carry an umbrella? Because the weather report said there was a 90% chance of rain, and he didn't want to get his posh new coat wet on the way to the studio

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the farmer let him out, and he found a road to cross!

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A dyslectic man walks into a bra. It was dark and he didn't see the laundry his wife hanged on the clothes line.

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A man walks up to you and asks you:"What's funnier than a dead baby?" and then smiles, you then proceed to frown and tell him he needs to seek help. The next day you see his face on your TV

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What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck!

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Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

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How many omish people did it take to screw in a lightbulb.

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Why did the gay man sneek out of the brothel? Because he was ashamed of his well paying reception job

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Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops