Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

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A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

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Doctor, I keep believing I am stuck in the Matrix! Oh thats common, you know existencial crisis and so on but we got medications, you want the blue or the red pill?

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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what is fun to eat but dumb when its alive? A dumb yummy candy

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What's green and runs through the forest? - A pack of cucumbers. What's wrong with that? - Cucumbers aren't pack animals.

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roses are red violets are blue me + you =the perfect 2

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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What's better than 24-year-olds? Twenty 4-year-olds.

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Q.Whats the difference between a black guy and a bench? A.One is a human and the other is an inanimate object used to give people a rest.

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Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

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Hello, my name is John, and you are reading this paragraph. Find the mistake...

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What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? Hi. He said it in sign language.

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your mom is so fat that she had to start going to a gym to exercise and get her weight under control.

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What did they gay chicken say to the straight chicken? .... nothing, chickens dont speek.

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Q: What did a rock say to a Another Rock? A: Don't take things for Granite!

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What is E.T. short For? So he can fit on ship

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How do you drown a blonde. Put a scratch 'n' sniff at the bottom of a pool.

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Why couldn't the gay man grow a beard? He shaved his face frequently.

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Q) Why are there no aspirin in the jungle? A) Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest

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an old lady walked into a bar, used the bathroom and left. THE END

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Dear Six, Please stop spreading rumors about me and nine. I hear you two also do some pretty nasty things. Love, Seven.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting c- Moo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops