What happens when you throw a red rock into a blue ocean. The rock gets wet.

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The elephant moonwalked. On the moon.

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Who's the fastest kid in AA

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Why is Stevie Wonder called Stevie Wonder? Wonder where I am.

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Your mamma's so dumb, she's had problems functioning in society, due to illiteracy problems, and a general incomprehension of her surroundings and own thoughts.

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What did the pretty young girl get for her birthday? Cake and presents (get your mind out of the gutter).

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Knock Knock Who's there? You know you really should have a safer way of finding out who is really on the other side. Now a days it's just not safe to ask, "who's there". I mean it could have been, Milkman, Plummer, or worst a Land Shark!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No reason.

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Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

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What do you get when you combine lemons, sugar and water? Lemons, sugar, and water

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Why was the baby crying? Because he was tied to a railroad track. How did the baby die? He had a bomb strapped to him. How did the bomb explode? It got ran over by a train.

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What goes in dry and comes out wet and sticky? Bubble Gum

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Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a brand new Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What happened to the homeless guy when a woman gave him five dollars? He shot the woman because he is mentally retarded.

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What do you call a dragon with no wings? a dragon with no wings :(

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Donald Trump decided to run for President.

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What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy. But I have Alzheimer's... Hey, I just met you...

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What do black people and asians have in common? arms

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Impossible, non-living organisms are incapable of moving and babies lack the brain capacity to understand how to screw in a light bulb.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a tire? It depends on the size of the tire.

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,What would you call Morgan Freeman if he was White? Morgan Freeman

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops