What's long and hard and full of semen? An erect penis at the climax of an orgasm.

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What's white and sticky.... Jizz

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Q:What happens when you mix Justin Bieber with a women? A: Well, since is a very highly impossible circumstance, I have no need to give a name for this.

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a chicken walks into a bar and gets drunk. the locals then proceed to tell the police because the chicken was harrassing people after he got drunk

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Why did the little boy grow up to be a homosexual man? He didn't find the female reproductive system sexually appealing

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How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? depends on how thin you can slice them.

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why was the man denied his teaching job? because he is a wanted cerial killer in 43 states.

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Q: knok knok A: Im home

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a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse does not say anything because its a horse and horses cannot talk.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why isn't Hellen Keller a good driver? She's dead.

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Why did Gina laugh? Because something was funny.

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mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

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roses are red, violets are blue, open your legs and give me an hour.

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What is the difference between a mallard with a cold and you? One is a sick duck I forget how this ends, but your mother is a whore.

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What should you never give to your friends as a wedding present? An old plastic bag full of rubbish.

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What's the difference between a hipster and a steaming pile of shit? Many things.

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The awkward moment when you are reading these jokes and either it's not funny or you don't get it...

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steve walked into a bar, what happened next? A: He fell down.

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What's an X-BOX? A box where you find a treasure

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What comes after Friday? A ?.

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what did one apple say to another apple nothing apples cant talk

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There is a bus driving down the street, suddenly a man jumps out of the buss and splatters on to the sidewalk, why does he jump out? the buss driver was asian

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops