Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What do you do to vegetables to make them taste good? Nothing. They are still people, and they can't speak up for themselves.

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Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

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Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

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Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

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Whats the difference between obama and Michael Jackson? Michael Jackson Is dead

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Jesse likes to jack off and lick the white stuff off of his balls and digest it

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Why did the man hit the little boy? His brakes failed.

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Why did the man throw the baby at the brick wall? I don't know, but that is a tragic incident and I will now go mourn.

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What does Michael have in common with NASA? Not a lot.

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Why does Tim Teblow love men? Logan Cole told him to.

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Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

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Why do girls swim naked in lakes and oceans? so they have an excuse why their pussies smell like either tuna or cat fish.

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What did the man say to his wife. Hi

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Q: What's worse than tripping down the stairs in front of a crowd of people? A: The bombing of Hiroshima

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Why did women scream loudly!? As the women was unexpectadly frightend!

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what's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? when you slap a mosquito it stops sucking:)

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What happened to the little girl who fell into the lake? She was rescued and made a complete recovery.

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Why did the 15 year old commit suicide? Because his parents and 3 sisters died in a car accident and he went to live with his uncle, who constantly raped him.

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't know either.

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miha kako si?

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What has three legs, one eye, and is green and fuzzy. I don't know. Me either.

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An Aussie, American and Englishman were all drinking beer on a plane to Hawaii. All 3 of them were very excited for their vaction, which they all saved hard for and their breaks from work were well deserved.

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Bang Bang Get the hell out of the house, it's on fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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