How do you call leprechaun with leprosy? Sick.

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Why was the cookie sad? It had just been eaten and is currently disintegrating in the hydrochloric acid of someones stomach.

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What do you get when you cross a moose with a crépe? A moose with a crépe up his nose. -ilikecrepes97

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How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen Beatle? Two in the front, two in the back, and one hundred in the ash tray.

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How do you know when an elephant is in your refrigerator Theres printson the cheese cakes

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If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

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toby limbers is gonna follow in his uncles footsteps, the gay ones

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How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

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Why couldn't the hobo buy any clothes? They did not have his size available.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ now I know my ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ no I know my ABC etc:

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What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

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What is black and hangs on a rope next to a rebel flag in my back yard? A tire swing for my redneck kids to swing on.

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why didnt the black guy die on the bus fire? The fire was in the front of the bus!

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Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

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a rabbi and a priest walk into a wall

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Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

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Yo momma's so hot I raped her and slit her throat afterwards and hid her body in a ditch.

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What is worse then rain on your wedding day? Getting married.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well why wouldn't it?

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Puns are terrible. I love them.

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y r black people noses so big??? A= god had to hold tem somehere to spray paint them

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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We are both missing the picture here friend, those bastards chose to fuck up my eye themselves, and while I do not completely trust you, (as far as I know you might still be a faggotqueer trying to mindfuck me), I trust you enough to take my chances. As for my eye, its fucked, I see light with it, and that is pretty much what I am going to keep seeing from it besides it looks like shit, on the bright side I look 20 percent more bad ass with an eye-patch than without, I am physically and mentally scarred, and as far as physically goes, I dig the look. Dont worry, you seem overly concerned about what people here are gonna think, it is ironic how the shitty system here makes it so easy to hide ones identity, you know if people do it right, know nothing about computers myself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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