How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Are you mentally handicapped? Bananas are fruit.

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what is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

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was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

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What did the chicken say to the cow? Cluck cluck Knock knock Who's there Chicken Chicken who? Chicken go cluck cluck, cow go moo Piggie go oink oink, how 'bout you?

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

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A young boy walked in on his mom and dad in their room lastnight They were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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What did Michael Jackson say to the little boys before they came to his house? Get on the ferris wheel

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I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

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your so vein that doctors find you really helpful when giving you injections

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Wht did noah7262 cross the road? to abandon his friends and play Modern Warfare 3 on xbox live. asshole.

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Looking's for free... Touching's for free.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead become stranded on a desert island. As they are searching for food and shelter, they come across a mystical-looking lamp. They rub the lamp, but nothing happens because genies don't exist.

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no pen = no studying no studying = bad grades bad grades = no job no job = no money no money = no food no food = death DON'T LOSE YOUR PEN

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what's the only thing funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? The look on the mom's face.

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Whats the difference between males and females? fe

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Mike: Hey Dave knock knock Dave: Come in!

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock eater,

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Whats Brown, Long and is on every black man? Legs

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Please save our environment :) Dont use electricity. Use gas! Like Hitler.

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer.

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Why did jasmine drop her shopping? And no its not because she did'nt have arms infact she did have arms she just did'nt have any hands

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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