Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

Guy 1: "Smells like UpDog in here." Guy 2: "No it doesnt.."

what do you call a black man in the bank holding a bag of money. One wealthy man

What has straight black lines and is square? A refferee.

a black guy a mexican guy and a puerto rican guy are driving together in a car whos driving? Whoevers car it is.

A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

why did the chicken cross the road? i have no idea, i dont know what goes on in a chicken's brain. the better question would be why was a chicken loose in a city

What's worse than a rapist? 2 rapists

What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

Has anyone else noticed that the very least popular and the most popular anti-joke on this site are both related to the Holocaust.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

Q:What's colorful and waves like a flag? A: A flag.

Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

What do you call a blind guy in a library? Kevin. Unless his name isn't Kevin.

What did Jimmy get for his first bithday A coffin

Why did the man cross the road? Because the light was red!

jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

did you know r kelly and jay z had a album together?

What did one ginger say to the other? W are both gingers.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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