welcome to australia. *kangaroo kicks you in the gut and you keel over, whereupon you are stampeded by wild dingoes and eaten by tasmanian devils*

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There is a blonde, Santa and Jesus. Someone throws a million dollars on the ground who picks it up? Me because I shot them

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Q: There's a Brit, Kenyan, German, and Colombian in one room. Where are they? A: Public School

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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Q. Why did the little girl drop her ice cream? A. She dropped it as she got into the van

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Roses are red, violets are red, tulips are red, oh shit my gardens on fire!!!

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

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What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

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What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

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Whats black and white and red all over? Genital Warts...

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If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Plants are green because of the high levels of mitochondria in their cells.

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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Why was the boy in a wheelchair raising money to buy a basketball uniform? Because wheelchair basketball is a popular sport

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Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

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Q. How do you drowned a blond A. Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a pool

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead live in the same neighborhood. They are Desperate Housewives

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Larry The Cableguy....thats it.

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what did the black guy get from churches chicken? fried chicken.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Knock knock. Who is there? My wife. My wife who? My wife is a prostitute, selling her own body for money so we can afford drugs for my son who has cancer.

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Question to make it sound like a racist joke? Politically correct answer that should not offend anyone.

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Interviewer: Are you currently a smoker? Applicant: Are you implying that I look like a chimney?

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops