Why wasn't the chicken able to cross the road? Because it was disabled.

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What do you do if you are surrounded by 2000 Hungry cannibals? You talk to them in a calm yet determined diplomatic voice, then you become a part of them. Moral: A part of them... Forever.

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What do you call a duck playing a trombone? Hallucinations

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What is an antijoke? Not Knock

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How many apples does it take to keep the doctor away? 1 if you throw it hard enough! haha

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A: Knock Knock B: 7

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My dog has no nose, how does it smell? Using its anus.

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like if your cool

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add me on facebook guys , im sexy , i get mad girls and guys, im bisexual , and im a blood (the gang) http://www.facebook.com/brock.beatty.1?ref=ts

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The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

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Why are many frogs green? Because yes they are.

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What's the deal with airline food? Food tastes different on an airplane. The atmosphere dries out your nose, the air pressure numbs 1/3 of your taste buds, and low humidity levels give you cotton mouth. These factors cause the food to taste worse than it normally would.

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How do you cause ultimate pain to a imprisoned Jew during the holocaust? Moral: You give him an apple WITH a worm in it.

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why was the boy sad his whole family just died in a plane crash

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Why did the man jump off the cliff? Because he suffered from chronic depression as a result of frequent drug abuse.

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Knock knock. I know who is there... What? No, I lied...

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: Someone who just got stabbed to death reading the newspaper.

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I am Asian, I've seen the color blue, but God made a mistake, Asians are taller than you.

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Q: what is the most confusing day in the ghetto? A: fathers Day

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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My mom

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If omar has 7 apples and his bus is 7 minutes early, what is the mass of the sun? Pi. Partially because the piece of paper couldnt dance with your mother.

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What would Walt Disney do if he were alive today? Gurgle and choke inside his cryogenic vault as liquid nitrogen flooded into his lungs.

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What did the woman say to the dog? Stop shitting on my carpet your dickhole

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops