Why did the man yell? Cause he wanted to!

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What's the difference between marmalade and jam?... you can't marmalade your dick down a girls throat.

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knock knock Goodbye

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What's the difference between cancer and my grandmother? She doesn't have cancer.

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How do you make spongebob come to Life? You kiss him????????

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Why was the white man's girlfriend a whore? Because she engaged in sexual relations with a multitude of other men.

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a boy scout wipes his butt with a dollar cause he had no toilet paper then the other boy scout hears him screaming they meet up later and the other boy scout askes why he was scream and the first boy scout says that is hard to wip your butt with 4 quarters.

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Why was johnny so good at reading? Because he had 3. Toes

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Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

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What do you call a black man in church? Religious

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Why was a black man in a prison cell? He was a highly respected plumber fixing a prisoner's faulty toilet.

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Q: How many Jewish people can fit in a four door sedan? A: 4, or possibly 5, depending on the sedan's optional seating, and depending on whether the gentleman are comfortable enough with each other to scoot closer to allow a 5th friend to join in.

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Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

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Why did the boat sink I shot a missile at it

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Why did dallin fall off the swing he got hit by jds big penis

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whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping cart? One holds groceries. The other molests small children.

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Roses are red. Violets are grey. People hate me. Mongoose.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

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The doctor said to the boy that a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down. He is diabetic.

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A man walks into a movie theater.and attempts to parate a film. He is then caught by employees of the theater and now faces fines and possible jail time for his actions.

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What did the Chicken say to the Interviewer Interviewer: how do you feel about your eggs chicken: the eggs are actually my periods. Interviewer: how do you feel about your periods ChicKen: you eat my periods everyday. people make cakes, omlettes and all these food out of my period. Imagine the world running on your period. Interviewer: what are your feelings on your periods Chicken: I have a mixture of feelings. i feel really scared because the farmers would kill me if i can have my periods. i feel glorified because the world runs on my eggs and i feel proud. I feel freaked out because the world actualy runs on my periods

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What's 8 foot tall and can't breathe? Ryan Eisenhour

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops