How do you make an Indian explode? Push the red button

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the jewish man say to the Irish guy at the bar? Are you Irish?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Don't you just hate it when a sentence doesn't end the way you octopus?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did one viking say to the other viking? I don't know, it was in Danish

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What starts with P and ends with ORN? Popcorn! What starts with F and ends with UCK? Firetruck! What starts with S and ends with EX? Spandex!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Wanna hear a joke? Women Voteing. -Austin Conradt

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

roses are blue violets are red crap i screwed up dont judge me

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Your mom is so black, i shot a bullet at her. It came back and said i need a flashlight.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

"Knock Knock" "Whose there?" Someone who needs to consider not saying "Knock Knock" every time they are about to enter a building.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

This is an anti-joke. It is not funny because "anti" means the opposite of something.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Yo mama so fat, her Patronus is a cake.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What color is an orange chicken? Fried rice

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a dolphin without a head? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats as Heavy as a rock and also as light as a feather? Any object in space because the lack of gravity to give the object weight.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why couldn't John go to the store for his mother? He had no legs...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How did the mom quiet her screaming baby? She threw it out the window.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is the difference between a duck? None! One of their legs are both the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops