why doesnt john lipka have a job? because the unemployment rate is high these days.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

There were 3 men on a rough each granted one wish to make. The first guy sees a bird and runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a bird and he flies away. The second guy sees a butterfly so he too runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a butterfly and flies away. The third guy telling himself those were all stupid wishes, makes up his mind what he is going to wish for so he runs to the ledge and just after he says "I wish to be" he trips on the ledge and says, "shit!" So his wish was granted and shit he became. The End.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, technically speaking, chickens lack the capability to cross said road because chances are that it was a highway because highways cover 64% of america's roads. This being said, the possibility of a chicken being able to cross is is highly improbable. So to answer the question.... BACON!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats worse than the Holacaust? Stepping on damn Lego's. MrBounty44

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do polar bears have that no other animal has? Polar bear babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man wakes up after only one hour of sleep due to his insomnia. He starts to cry because his wife just passed away and his parents were recently killed in a car accident. The man gathers his composure, takes a shower, and drives to his minimum wage job. He was expelled from high school for an assault he didnt even commit and has no money to get an education. At work, he accidentally drops a box of valuable, fragile electronic parts and gets fired by his boss. He goes home to his dirty 1 bedroom apartment and contemplates suicide. He decides to wait as his favorite tv show is on. He turns on the tv to the news his show has been cancelled. The man, depressed, suicidal and alone, picks up his .22 and kills himself. There is no God.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What musical band do you get if you keep shouting while in the mountain? The rolling stones. What do you get if you keep shouting in a snow covered mountain top? Blizzard Entertainment.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

- What's better than just sitting on a couch in a summerhouse with a bottle of wine and reading a good book? - An orgy.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

rarw

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the asain fail his tests? They weren't math tests...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you make a mime make noise? Throw a brick at his face

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Wayne Rooney's face and intelligence.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why do white people drive big trucks? 'Cause they can afford it.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Two Chav's jump off a cliff who wins? Neither, the affects of gravity are equal despite the weight of said object.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why is 6 so afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered six offender.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? ... To get to the bottom.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Jon walked into a bar. Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The little girl asks her father "Daddy why is santa fat?" "you have to exist to lose weight" he answered

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was i sad when 4 black people in a cadillac fell over a cliff. The car blew up...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? It's dependent on many factors, like the size of the babies and the tub. It would be a horrific endeavor, and you should probably stop thinking about such things.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Ian: Your Mama's so dumb, she tried to commit suicide off a sidewalk. Dan: Yea, and when that didn't work she hanged herself.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man walks into a bar he orders a drink

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops