What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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XD Jackass.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Clause? Tiger Woods is a well-known golfer and Santa Clause is a mythical man who delivers presents to young children.

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Dear Jim, I have a problem with my Hymen... "Jim'll fix it for you..."

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What did the man say to his wife. Hi

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What do you call a cow who can't produce milk? Utter failure.

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A duck walks into a bar. Then he walks out.

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A Blonde, a Jew, a Rooster, and a Mexican walk into a bar and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Hollywood presents: In a world... Where darkness and crime is at every corner... The governments darkest secret... MUST... BE... UNLEASHED! Jack Kirby: So, with this technology I can swallow criminals and gain their abilities? But is there not a lot wrong with this? Hollywood: Meh... Sorry, we are gonna go with The Fast and The Furious 64: Mario Kart style.

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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What is the color of your spleen? I dont know i'm not a doctor

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You!!!!!! Cause your whole existence is just one big joke.

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Bill: Wanna know the difference between knowledge and wisdom? Joe: Sure Bill: Knowledge is knowing that an apple is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

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You're in the middle of the ocean and you see a roller coaster. What color is the penny? Tree.

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What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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Whats worse than getting hit by a bus? Getting hit by two busses.

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What do you call an iPod that doesn't work? An iPod that doesn't work.

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How do you make etheopians rave ? glue bread to the roof

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Whats black on top and white on bottom? Rape.

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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Q:What did the duck say to the other duck A:We are both ducks

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What do you get from M&M bags? M&Ms.

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What do you call cheese that's mine? My cheese

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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