How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

what is worse finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grub in your apple.

How does Batman's mother call him to dinner? She doesn't, she's dead.

what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN cil you have such a dirty mind

What's the difference between a black person and cancer? If you don't know already, you should really question your countries education system and your parents upbringing.

theres a taco and a blonde...who eats who? the blonde eats the taco.

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't eat your friends Nose it is!

But I don't use all those things myself Nero, I do however teach people how to use it.

Why is it bad luck for a black cat to cross your path? I'll tell you in Heaven

a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

What did Jesus say to the jews? Fuck you.

What is hard, long, moist, and flesh colored? A hotdog you dirty, dirty bastard!

How many Santa Clauses does it take to change a light bulb? Santa Claus isn't real.

A kid goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor! it hurts when I do this!" The Doctor says, "Well, because you have been diagnosed with ALD, and to make matters worse you are allergic to rapeseed oil" The child then cries because he will never live past 40 years old

Q: How did Helen Keller cross the street? A: She walked.

You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

what can keep u alive for many years- -not being shot

I was walking down the street the other day And I pushed a child under a bus

April showers bring... tornadoes that kill families

What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

I named my son ps2 controller

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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