How many babies does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Julian Ha.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A doctor tells a woman he needs to take her rectal temperature. The woman tells the doctor "That's not my rectum." The doctor promptly apologizes and conducts the rest of the check up.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock Knock Come in

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs waterskiing? Skip

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Thank you, you remind me that I am not insane, just because I believe we humans can accomplish more, by uniting as one, rather than fighting one another. I feel as if I belong somewhere else, yet the question remains always, are people such as you better, or are we relics from the past?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

wat did one chicken say to the other bock bock

thumb_up thumb_down -8

teacher:humpty dumpty sat on a wall.... me: wait, why was he up there ms.park? teacher: well hes never been the same since vietnam, his wife divorced him and now hes a raging alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What starts with "P" and ends with "orn"? Popcorn

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Evan Ramsey hahaha go CAD

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the duck cross the road? Because there was a gunman on the same side of the path and it would most likely be safer to avoid making eye contact

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Do You Know You Have Cancer?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the lady say after she returned home from the grocery store? "Oh no! I forgot the milk!"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is the difference between a car accident and being on your period? A period is less bloody.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear Fuzzy wuzzy had no hair Fuzzy wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy, was he? No, because he had cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it's a grape and therefore unable to speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Two monkeys are sitting in a tree. One monkey looks to the other monkey and says, "I bet I can jump from this tree to the next tree without falling." The other monkey replies, "I'm sure you could. You're a monkey."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

knock knock who's there? F uck F uck who? F uck off

thumb_up thumb_down -8

There was a blonde, brunette and red head driving in a car. The car breaks down so the three of them decide to walk. So the red head takes water bottles, the brunette takes food and the blonde took the car. The red head asked the brunette why she was taking the food, the brunette said "incase i get hungry i can eat" then the brunette asked the red head why she brought water the red head said "incase i get thirsty i can have a drink. Then the brunette asked the blonde why she brought the car the blonde said "to drive home".

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats better than giving birth to a disabled son? A Blowjob

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A Chinese man, a Mexican man, and an American man are all on a plane in-flight when the pilot screams over the intercom, "We are two pounds over weight! The plane is going down unless you all throw off useless things that have no value in your countries!" The Chinese man throws out a pair of chopsticks and an egg roll and says, "I have too many of those in my country." The Mexican does the same with a taco and sombrero, repeating, "I have too many of those in my country." The American looks around his items pondering what things are too common in the USA. He locks his eyes on the Mexican. The other passengers are shocked as the American throws off a hamburger and a football.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the elephant cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops