Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the young boy drop his bus. He was hit by an ice cream.

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When life gives you cancer, make cancer-aids.

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Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

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a boy poops in class everybody laughs and now he has no friends

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What's worse than a work in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Seeing the same joke repeated thousands of times on anti-joke.com.

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Hi im a joke i eat turtles

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Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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What do u do to blow off steam? I simply go to the top of the empire states building, poor gasoline in a bag, put a baby in it, light it on fire, and through it off the side. problem?

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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Q:What's colorful and waves like a flag? A: A flag.

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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What's the difference between a lamp?

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Think of a number, add it by 7, subtract it by 2, and multiply it by 4. Now close your eyes, isn't it dark?

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What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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