Children + my basement + my finger = yes

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Why did the boy jump off the building? To get to the bottom.

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Roses are green. Violets are purple. Charlie Sheen. Looks a turtle.

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Why did the pirate have a peg leg? Diabetes

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead become stranded on a desert island. As they are searching for food and shelter, they come across a mystical-looking lamp. They rub the lamp, but nothing happens because genies don't exist.

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Why was Sally sad? She was the only survivor of a plane crash that killed her entire family.

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Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michaelangelo.

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What's worse than finding out your husbands gay...........finding out he's gay with your brother"

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Why did the black man get fired? In this economy businesses are downsizing and outsourcing jobs for cheaper labor.

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Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

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how many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front and 3 in the back depending on how many people decide to go

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Why couldn't Billy eat his dinner? Because a black man amputated his hands.

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What the flower say to the bird. Nothing

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Want to hear a popular joke? Women's Rights

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What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

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My girlfriend is getting an abortion tonight. Its a surprise.

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A fish walked into a bar. Actually it didn't, since fish can't walk.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The unfortunate child in a pedophile's basement who the police have yet to find.

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What do you call someone who kills a black man? A murderer

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Twelve billion Nero, you puppy dog you hot blooded latino man. Why cant I control it myself?

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ha ha, I can talk and you can't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops