If I was in a room with Osama bin laden and george bush, and my friend. And I had a gun with two bullets, I'd shoot my friend twice.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I once saw my grandparents making love.. that's why I dont eat raisens

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Man walks into Malaysian Airlines "Hey, can I have the next flight to--" "This is our only policy! You pay the fare we pick the where."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because its rayseans favorite number

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first? Give us the bad news first, the parents reply. Your baby has red hair, says the doctor. Well whats the good news, ask the parents. It’s dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was the black man running? he was participating in race for the cure, a charity event where all proceeds go to breast cancer awareness.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock Knock Who's there? Your neighbor. My neighbor who? I told you already, it's pronounced "Wu" I'm very sorry Mr. Wu.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

If I was a backstabber, you would have been dead already, without me having anything to do with it in the first place, listen, we cannot change the world, those that control the media, control the world. And our role was the opposite, we wanted people to find their individual selves and put their talents for use for themselves and us, today the media tells people who they are, what they like, and what to eat and wear. None of us can do this, point zero is gone, its simply a matter of time, but if you want to try, I can do what I can, in hopes of delaying the inevitable.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the black man get stuck to the ceiling? Because he was spiderman.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

So this guy walks into a bar and– Nevermind it's really not that funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

a black guy walks into a bar and sits next to a white guy. White guy: "I don't like your kind here". Black guy: "what kind wound that be"? White guy: "the colored kind". The black guy turns away then looks back at the white guy and says", When I'm born I'm black, when I die I'm black, When I'm cold I'm black, and when I'm sick I'm black. You ( to the white guy ) when your born your pink, when you die your blue, when your cold your purple, and when your sick your green and your calling me colored???

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why was the 6 afraid of the 7? because 7 was a registered 6 offender.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock Knock. Who's there? Come in! Come in who? I'm just com in' inside.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Nothing. Blackberries grow on bushes and I do not condone hate crimes.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the clown get in the car? Because he can.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A couple picks up a hitch-hiker with an ax on the side of the road. The hitch-hiker says "Thank you for the ride."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do Lebron James and Bill Murray have in common? They are both black basketball players. Except for bill murray

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? A: Because she is a fictional character.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is the difference between a group of magicians and a cheerleading squad? One has a cunning array of stunts.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Determined.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the difference between an apple and a banana? One's an apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops