Why did the man die when he hugged the pillow? He was hallucinating at the grand canyon.

What did one duck say to the other duck? Quack.

What happened to the lady? She queefed.

Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

Q:Why are dinosaurs extinct? A:Well there are two reasons the first being a giant meteor struck the earth killing all the dinosaurs. The other reason you touch yourself at night.

what happens when you punt a baby in between 2 poles? you get 3 points

I man was taking a major shiit He forgot to wipe

Q.what semtemce is a most used lie by a fourteen year old? A. Yes i agree to the terms of service, and am above the age eighteen.

Chuck Norris doesnt eat honey, hes allergic to it.

How can you tell if a dog is under your chair? Look under your chair

one day a boy asked a Manican if it had a pulse it didn't

Knock Knock Who's there Boo Boo who Boo I'm a ghost atleast act scared

Your mom is so ugly- Wait, hold on. How are you born?

DAVE : did you hear the one about the poster? MICHAEL: what?

You know what's funnier than 24? 25

What do you call a piece of celery with peanut butter on it? your moms dead

why did the pancake eat a spanish holiday? Because a plane crashed into his condominium

What's worse than a worm in your apple That one time I rapped and killed your mom, oh and happy birthday prick

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

What's is the worst thing america has done? Jersey Shore, We mad those idiots rich.

TOFFEES HEAD LYING IN THE GRASS

How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

If life hands you lemons you're probably hallucinating

Whats worse than getting broken into by a robber? Looking at Obama

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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