What did the computer say to his girlfriend? I'm going to RAM you tonight.

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How do you scare a little boy? You tell him everyone he loves was shot to death by you and then kick his guardian .

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why was one black guy surrounded by ten white guys...... he was a story teller.

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What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

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What is Cleopatra's favorite cookie? A: Chips Ahoy

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Why didn't Sally go to the party? Because everybody hates her and she wasn't invited.

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What do you call a duck playing a trombone? Hallucinations

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Whats big and red and eats rocks? A big red rockeater.

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Sammy bought 48 donuts. He ate 36. What was Sammy left with? Diabetes. Sammy was left with diabetes.

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What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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Why did the bird plummet to the earth? It was shot.

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

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What did the homeless man get for his birthday? AIDS

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Why did the horse die? I shot it in the face.

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Two elderly men were sat next to a children's playground... They were there to pick up their grandchildren because their parents were at work.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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What's blue and wiggles? A baby in a bag

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Why does the girl continue to cry repetently everyday? Because she found out she was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

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What do you call an horse? A horse, because horse does not start with a vowel and that would be grammatically incorrect.

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Why? Because.

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whats worse than having the flu? having cancer

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homosexual rights to marriage

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im typing this without looking at the jetviard. I can;t toycg type thar wekk yet

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See what I did here? ;) Ladies, I just need some space okay? Damn Space Invaders... Ijustmetthespaceinvaderstheytookmyspace << DOUBLE MEANING!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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