I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what do u call a newspaper boy on brake? your uncle because hes broke and struggling with income.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Yo momma's so fat she went to Antartica and all the penguins were like, "Woah. You're fat."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

a fat kid walked up to me today at school and claimed he could do more pull ups than i. i found this very funny because i have known this boy since i was two months old, and he witnessed the day where i lost both of my arms to cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: which is easier to unload a truck of dead babies or a truck of alove babies? A: dead babies cause u can use a pitchfork

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you get when you mix a refrigerator with a microwave? A refrigerated microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down -8

One day a baby hit himself on the head with a stuffed animal. I lied, it was a brick, so he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

My wife is so fat that I find her unattractive.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you get when someone tells you an anti joke? An anti joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do black people and bananas have in common? 50% of their DNA

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do a lamp and a elephant have in common? Big ears, except for the lamp, it doesn't have ears.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did you say? I'm blind. (Did not write this meaning to be offensive)

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

whats red and brown and goes about 30mph? a squirrel in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a Black man with a gun ?? A black man with a gun !

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between a black person and a pizza? Pizza is a type of food.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

whats the hardest answer ever? The one without a question.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops