Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

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An american, a mexican, and an asian are on a boat. The boat is sinking because it is too heavy. The people decide to throw off things that they have a lot of in their country. The asian throws rice off the boat saying, "We have plenty of rice at home." The mexican throws tacos off the boat saying, "We have plenty of tacos at home." The american throws out the mexican saying, "We have plenty of mexicans at home."

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Q: Why should you never let Jerry Sandusky babysit your children? A: Because, in November of 2011, Sandusky was arrested and charged with 40 counts of sexual abuse of young boys over a 15-year period. A man with this type of background does not seem like a an ideal choice for a babysitter.

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Why was the African American man afraid of dogs? He had a terrible childhood memory of being violently dry humped by a german shepherd.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a bag of dead babies? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

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There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

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What did a Blond do in the Desert? She got lost after Falling of a flying carpet

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Why was the black guy sitting in the back of the bus? Because there were no more seats available in the front.

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Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

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What do you call a chicken that can't lay eggs? a rooster

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

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Why was the blonde on the train tracks? Because she was tied up by a madman on crack.

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What did Bambi say to her mother when her mother was killed? Nothing. Bambi's a deer. Duh.

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A blonde keeps walking down her driveway to her mailbox.Finally, her neighbor asks, "Why?" The blonde replies, "The computer says I've got mail."

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knock knock who's there? A worm, your dead in a coffin.

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How did the man kill the black fly? He called the KKK fly and had it lynch the black fly

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What is wet, white and sticky? Glue, of course.

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What's straight and famous. Ryan Secrest I was just kidding about the stright

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of lollipop? unknown.

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school homewrok

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What day is it today? Today. Thank you. You're welcome.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops