Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the lesbian's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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Why did the girl with a striped ball fall over? She was a victim of a drive-by shooting.

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What did the politician say to the other politician? We are both politicians.

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

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A black guy, a mexican, and an arab are all in the same car, Whos driving the car? The black guy because he politely offered and his friends were happy to ride with him.

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What did the black man say when he jumped in the pool? The water's nice, you should join me.

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What's funny about your mom? Nothing, she died three weeks ago.

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What does "Ford" stand for? Nothing. It's the name of the company founder, not an acronym.

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Two guys walk into a bar. They are knocked out and rushe to hospital because the bar was metal.

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whats worse then getting sat on by a hippo getting sat on by Matt Ross

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There are two jews in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here" and the other says "AHH A TALKING JEW"

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why is elmo sad? He was brutally raped by Dora :D

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If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

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Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers.

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Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

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Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? The IRS. All your base are belong to us.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

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whats worse than a 6 dead babies in a dumpster? You were babysitting them.

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Whats worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops