what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call three Asian people eating a cat? A tragic last resort for a starving family.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers. -Del Primm

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two but I don't know how they got in there.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: Wgat do you call a black man's dead bodie? A: A corpse.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did one cat say to the other cat? --------- Meow --------- What's pink and fluffy? --------- Pink fluff --------- What's green and yellow? --------- Grass. I lied about the yellow part.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is yellow and dangerous? Shark infested butter

thumb_up thumb_down +15

whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the young girl fall off her bike? Because somebody threw a fridge at her.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you leave a jackass in suspense? I'll tell you later.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the black man die? Kidney Failure.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what did the deaf guy say when the poor man asked how life was? the deaf guy didn't respond considering the fact that he was deaf and would never interact with a poor man.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was on a diet

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the black guy cross the road? He didn't because he forgot to precede crossing the busy street with caution; therefore he was critically injured and then placed in a hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the lesbian's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what's a snake that has no legs a snake

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops