A brunette child with a blond mother is crying. Why? Because his father was just mauled by a Scandinavian dragon.

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A man walks into a bar, He is a severe alcoholic and is slowly drowning himself in booze. The man exits the bar after several hours of heavy drinking and walks home. He enters his home to discover a man in bed with his wife. After the first ten seconds of paralyzing rage, he grabs a .44 Magnum and brutally murders his wife and her bed mate. The man realizes he has woken up his two month old, and after thinking of the horrible act he has committed, he promptly raises the pistol to his temple and pulls the trigger. Oh, I almost forgot, the man was schizophrenic and has never been married.

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Why did single women didn't want any babies for? because of Ice Ice Baby.

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How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

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What did Raymond say when josh ate him? Nothing because Raymond was dead.

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yo mama's so dumb, she had to retake the 11th grade.

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Two men are stranded in a structure on an alien planet, they are frightened when they are told that there is evidence of a life form near them, they explore their surroundings and find a snake-like creature that flares what looks like wings, bites one of the men on the hand and wraps its tail around his arm squeezing it until the arm breaks (we see the bone poke through his sleeve and he screams); the creature slithers up his sleeve, into his mask and lunges into his mouth killing him, and the other man is sprayed on the mask with acid and we see the plastic of the mask melt onto his face.

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Whats the difference between a jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

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How can you make a Russian happy? Giving him two tickets for him and his wife to Disneyworld.

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whats black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down a hill whats black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him

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what's longer than my shlong? .... nothing

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Why can't Lake Mossman find his penis? Because he's a fat ass, and he doesn't have any arms.

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Why doesn't a ducks quack echo? Actually, it does, but the echo is imperceptible to human ears.

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who can be more evil than the person who hit my nuts. Adolf Hitler.

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If your fighting an octopus on mars how many lamps does it take to repair a dog house? Nine because a toaster cannot ride a bicycle.

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shirt and blue, i call this one snow white, to score and seven years a jo, six samurai kageki, coral, 50 piece, specific frame, whats with that one, amy, hoption, smell my butt, smell my balls, smell my fart, smell my poop, urgay, pringles,

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was stapled to the head of a penis that belonged to an asian man

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A sad guy walks in to a bar and the bartender asks, what's the matter? The guy responds, I just found out i'm deaf

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A Chinese man... pulling another Chinese man in one of those carts behind him.

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What did the poor boy get for Christmas? Orphaned.

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You should put some sand in your vagina to make the crabs feel more at home.

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Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

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Why did the blonde get a tattoo of her adress on her arm? She never wanted to forget her great childhood at her family home, and she hoped that she would come back some day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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