Why did the blonde fail her drug test? She's actually never did drugs before but since she didn't show up for appointment, that counts as an automatic fail.

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Knock knock Whos there Your Ma Your Ma who Your ma's in jail!!!

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What's blue and looks like water? Yes.

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"Merry Christmas, Mom! My gift to you is...ME!" "I brought you into this life you disrespectful brat!" He then proceeds to a cliff.

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Why do Asian men love noodles? Noodles are delicious!

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Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you.

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What did the commentor say when he saw the "waht's worse than finding a worm in your apple...the holocaust." joke? I am offended to your cruel referance to worms.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To mutilate the body of a Jewish girl that lay on the other side.

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Why did the man Jump of a bridge? Because he got sick of his life and he wanted to die.

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why did the magician stop doing magic ? he got hit by a bus and died

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Boob

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What do you call a alcaholic walking down the street..... Roadkill

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What's sad about a pile of dead people? They didn't have life insurance.

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A girl and her friend got into a fight. They both bled to death.

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Sometimes i like to paint myself red and then curl up into a ball and pretend i'm a tomato.

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A fat man orders a pizza. Then after eating it, he gets a eart attack due to his high cholesterol and lack of exercise

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what are you talking about. Nets are terrible. Lakers are going to be the best.

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How did the mexican cross the border? He went through border patroll, and then later became a legal citizen of North America

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Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

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what did the penis say to the vagina? SMACK SMACK SMACK

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How are friends and bananas alike? If you peel their skin and eat them they die.

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How can you tell if someone is a global warming alarmist? Their IQ on average is 10 points below normal

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roses are grey violets are grey either i am a dog or i am color blind i cant tell im deaf go die in a hole

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Why did the blonde girl drink lots of water? Because the fat comments got to her and she changed her diet to nothing but water

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops