James got up from the couch, forgetting what he got up for he asked his girlfriend, Mary: "What did I get up for again?" Mary replied "To get your medicine for your amnesia."

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My Penis is so big. How big is it? If you lay my penis down beside another similarly lengthy object, approximately 10" long, it would most likely surpass the length of the object you chose to measure it to.

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What's worse than waking up next to an ugly girl? Waking up, sealed in a coffin which is floating on a raft traversing through shark-infested waters. Oh, and the raft is on fire.

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How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

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What happens when you Shoot a guy with a red Shirt On? He Dies.

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KNOK KNOK WHOES THERE APPLE APPLE WHO SEE THIS IS Y U BROKE UP

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what is the different between a prostitute and your wife one is on contract and the other pay as you go

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What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

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Don't you just hate it when a sentence doesn't end the way you octopus?

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Where di mary go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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A bison trots into a bar. The bartender says, "My pee makes bubbles in the toilet." Amazed by the urination fact, the bison explodes.

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Three Jews are hiding under the floorboards. One of them makes a noise and a second Jew elbows him so he'll keep quiet. They are heard and are all caught. It's now their turn to seek because they are playing Hide n' Seek.

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What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

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xCh3wyy is the biggest fail in the entire universe. If you head to www.youtube.com/xxch3wyyxx You will see how much he fails. Please dislike his horrible video and tell him to suck a prick.

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

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roses are blue violets are red crap i screwed up dont judge me

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A duck walks into a convenience store and asks for a tube of chapstick.He says "Put it on my tab".

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Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

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Customer Service "May I help you?" "Yes."

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What should you do if you have a 10 inch penis? Subtly tell the world via an anti-joke

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A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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