Jehovas Witnesses: Summer vacation edition reality show: BItch: Do you know Jesus? Guy: Goddammit you A*Beep*SSHOLES again! I keep telling you all this is m0thertrucking Spain, I know like 500 Jesus`s living in this town alone! *slams door* Moral: Everybody knows at least something about the goddamn Jesus! Ill try asking "Is he the guy that lives downstairs?" Next time and see what happens.

how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

Q: Why did sally fall off the swing? A: Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally! How did Sally die? She couldn't figure out how to open the fridge

Why'd Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There Not Sally Why was the boy sad? Because he dropped his ice cream cone Why'd he drop his ice cream cone? Because he got ran over by a bus Why'd he get run over by a bus? BECAUSE SALLY WAS DRIVING

What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings. Now hats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Three bee stings.

A black, Kenyan man enters a race. He comes in second to last as he didn't practice as much as the other contestants.

What's big and looks like a mushroom? A Mushroom.

Whats brown and sticky? A stick.

A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde go on vacation in Hawaii. They plan to swim to the next island. The brunette and redhead do it with no problem. The blonde swims halfway and realizes she is tired. She continues to swim straight ahead knowing her friends are already at the next island.

What did the dog do in the phone booth? Nothing, as dog do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grip objects. The previous user must have left the door open and the dog walked in, only to leave a few moments later.

What do you call a puppy with all it's legs missing? Franklin, the quadraplegic puppy.

Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage!

What did one lawyer say to the other? We are both lawyers. What did the stupid lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both pineapples.

Why did the black man eat lucky charms? Because it was breakfast time and he was hungry.

Why do eggs come in 12? because 13 is bad luck

Why did the Jew pick up the quarter on the sidewalk? Because he was going to buy a candy bar and was short 25 cents.

Did you hear about the new XBOX releasing in Mexico. It's called the XBOX JUAN!!!

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar

Why did the plane to New York not land? It was redirected to Boston because of inclement weather.

Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

how do you make a boy cry you cut out his eyes

So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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