Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

an 80 yr old man apllies to walmart

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the farmer say to the duck? I don't know, but the duck doesn't give a f.....

thumb_up thumb_down +5

knock knock come in

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats worse then a worm in your apple This joke

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

"bluar blah blah blarRR/ the stupid pointless part" dead people/ animals/ objects can't talk/ drive/ operate compueter, lol I'm so focken funni

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red Violets are purple, and anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A: Rock! B:Paper! C: Siccorz! D: Shoot! D: Jimmy, you alright buddy? I didn't mean for that bullet to hit you man..

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's better than rape? Consensual sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What screams when you poke it? A rape alarm.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A woman walked into a bar. Many men laughed at this unthinkable notion because women belong in the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

jingle bells jingle bells,, bells were jingled!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why is Dave's baby dead? Because his wife threw it into the path a Big-rig.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She didnt have any arms

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If these walls could talk - the public would pay large sums of money to see this marvel of science. On a more serious note, they might also tell the cops about the many dead hookers stowed within them.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If people are freaking out about this Kony guy I cant wiat to see the look on their faces when they check in my crawl space.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q:John has 50 candy bars and he eats 45, what does john have? A: Diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had bullied 6 and his old pal 21 back in his younger days.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Your mom is so black, i shot a bullet at her. It came back and said i need a flashlight.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A black man is trapped inside a bottle, how does he get out? He doesn't it is simply impossible for a human to get trapped inside a bottle.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops