What do you get when you offer a blond a penny for his thoughts? Change.

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Why was little georgia afraid of the tea cup ? Because she was tripping over the holocaust.

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Hah, I bet a faggot that lost his balls in the war is "above" such things as seduction and all things straight! 25 million US dollars, send them to me within a week, or I will hunt you down by tracking down every single one of your fucking followers (all six of them), and make you wish you where dead. And tell me where you live, send me your sister so I can rape her, send me your boyfriend so I can cut him to pieces, send my your children so I can make sure your genes stop, send my your mothers tits so I can hang them on my wall, and kill your father and post the shit on youtube! Maybe then we are halfway close a settlement.

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An American, a Mexican and a Cuban are in a car. For they are heading to the store to buy groceries and then come home to make dinner.

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Tell me who you are, who you are working for, I wont tell anybody, and I will have someone to hack this site on the hour and remove these comments, please.

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What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

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No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

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What did the little girl get for Christmas? A pipe bomb

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E M I L Y L Y N C H B I L L I E J E A N L A R K I N YEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? The pig rolled in the mud!

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No

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How do you hack into someone's computer? A few good hits with a hatchet should do the trick

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A duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Put it on my bill."

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What's brown and smells like shit? My boxers.

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What type of pants do Mario and Luigi wear? Levi or Denim, I'm not sure why but probably because you can get a nice fitting pair for only a couple of bucks.

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Two kiwis are in a fridge. Suddenly, the door opens, and one of them is pulled out by a human hand. He was never to be seen again.

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OMG FUCKING NERDS WITH NO LIFE CAN READ ABOUT THE POWER OF YOUR Vaginal puss puss color, no but seriously, I kinda prefer unshaven, I mean if I change my opinion I just do it myself or command that you shave yourself while I put it on my cellphone while I jack off to you, making a creampie, yeah because.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Ron Sparks.

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So a guy walks into a bar.... he gets a few drinks pays his bill and goes home.

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Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo. Get in the van.

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Malcom: Knock Knock. Jessica: Who's there? Malcom: It's Malcom. Jessica: Okay. Come in.

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A black man and a white man enter a public toilet. They both begin to pee at the urinals. The whiteman peers over to the blackman mid-pee. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype and then blushes embarassed by his own latent homosexuality. They both leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep later that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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what did the nostalgic robot barber say to all of his customers before cutting their hair? 0010101000011100101000100100100110101010100101010101010

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How long did it take the man to swim the Atlantic? I don't know. Everybody stopped counting after a while and went on with their lives. His body was never found.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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