If I told you I was straight I'd be lying

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Knock Knock Who's there? A Crazy Rhinoceros

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have PTSD. Time to kill myself.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Sex with helen keller.

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Want to hear a popular joke? Women's Rights

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2 blondes were heading to Disney world, they saw up ahead that said "Disney World left" then took a left and enjoyed Disney World and had fun on the rides

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what do you call a white man in a black neighborhood a minority

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Christmas presents.

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Casey Anthony kills a baby

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What can never be seen by the owner, looks like Jesses mom, and smeels like shit. Jesses dick.

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A duck walks into a bar, clearly ignoring the 'No Ducks Allowed' sign that had been placed in the window to prevent comedic scenarios.

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whate white and cant climb trees? powdered sugar

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Wuy are Kenyans so fast? Because due to variations in evolution, people from that part of the world have a better muscle build to run at higher speeds than equally trained athletes from other parts of the world.

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Why was the bartender's baby crying upstairs? Because it was being raped.

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What happened when the president cut the hedge That is a highly improbable solution because he would probably have a body guard do it.

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What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer What did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that far

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Why did the communist fail his history class? Because he didn't study hard enough.

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Why did the clown's ballon animal pop? He was a victim in a drive by shooting.

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Every time I walk across the street I do the Hitler march and raise my arm straight out to salute him, if I feel like holding up traffic, I take smaller steps

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Almost everything.

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what's blue , and you can urinate it? a rim block.

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A white man, a black man, and a Mexican board a plane. The white man watches the on-flight film. The black man watches the on-flight film. The Mexican also watches the on-flight film. At the end of a long flight, they leave the plane and go do whatever it is they planned to do at their destination.

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Q: Why was the man wet? A: I push him in a pool.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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