There was a blonde, brunette and red head driving in a car. The car breaks down so the three of them decide to walk. So the red head takes water bottles, the brunette takes food and the blonde took the car. The red head asked the brunette why she was taking the food, the brunette said "incase i get hungry i can eat" then the brunette asked the red head why she brought water the red head said "incase i get thirsty i can have a drink. Then the brunette asked the blonde why she brought the car the blonde said "to drive home".

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What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it's a grape and therefore unable to speak.

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Why did the blind man get hit by a bus? Because his seeing-eye dog was distracted by a squirrel and ran off, leaving the man in the middle of the cross-walk in heavy traffic.

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What did the lady say after she returned home from the grocery store? "Oh no! I forgot the milk!"

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What did the you know what screw this I'm sick of making these stupid jokes there all the same. Hang on hang on What did the pirate do to the dog yes This style of joking is so different I'm going to be a famous comedian oh wait there's a whole bloody website full of these. O look another one and another one and another one that knife over there looks really nice right now

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Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

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Why is the interesting goat so talented at chess? He's Bobby Fischer's dad.

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A white man, a black man, and a brown man are all in an elevator. The white man laughs "this is like the start to a racist joke or something." The other two men strangle him because he is white.

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Why did the black man steal the mountain bike? He didn't. He purchased and payed for the mountain bike.

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A boy plays in his garden. Then he fall and his knee hurts a lot, but he doesn't cry. Do you know why? Because he's dead.

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Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

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a fat kid walked up to me today at school and claimed he could do more pull ups than i. i found this very funny because i have known this boy since i was two months old, and he witnessed the day where i lost both of my arms to cancer.

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Reality is often boring. TV is often bad for you. Reality TV is boring AND bad for you.

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Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

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What happened when Glen jumped off a building? The rope snapped his neck. He died.

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whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

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You know what's funny with rape? Nothing. It's horror.

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guy walks into a bar.... Ouch.

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Knock Knock ! Who's there? Jim. Oh come in.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side.

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Why did the mailman die? Because everybody dies.

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An Irish man sips at a large beer. Oh yeah and your mother's a whore.

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Two penguins are in the shower. One of them asks if he can have the soap. The other responds, "What am I, a telephone?"

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No smoking No eating No drinking On this bus Didn't say anything about sniffing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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