A cat walks into a bar, the bartender says "pussy?"

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is worse then your car getting hijacked? A 900 pound man eating a Donut.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

wanna hear a joke? me niether.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a black person pimping out his bitches? a dog breeder.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Will I be watching The Voice tonight? no.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the blonde get a tattoo of her adress on her arm? She never wanted to forget her great childhood at her family home, and she hoped that she would come back some day.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what did the thief say to the man that lost his car? i stole your car.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: Whats green and has wheels? A: Any form of motorized vehicle that is made for transportation and has a green paint scheme.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: Whats better than not being a Jew? A: Being a Jew.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

You should get a new joke book............ because the newest edition has just be released

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: What did the cat say to the dog? A: I hate you, alot

thumb_up thumb_down -16

a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse does not say anything because its a horse and horses cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the chicken commit suicide? No one knows, he didn't leave a note.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the boy who was in a chainsaw accident yell to his mom when he was on a rollercoaster? Look ma, no hands!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I'm not racist. Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall again? Because somebody put her back on. Why wasn't she able to hug her dad? Because she has no dad.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I can prove I'm a psychic - this post is going to receive a lot of dislikes.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A dinosaur walks into the bar, everyone panics in fear and confusion because it is a dinosaur and it's weird.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

This blind man read my mind the other day. I swear, it's like he has a 5th sense!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What was hitlers least favorite pokemon? Hitler didnt have a least favorite pokemon because hitler died long before the idea of pokemon was created.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Never again, I have all the intel I need on you, you cost me a fucking eye, you think I would let go of that so easily? It hurts day and night, I have not slept in days, my fucking eyelid is torn right off, and while I use a fucking excuse for an eyepatch, I still have not gotten used to sleep without being able to shut both my eyes, I have a constant fever, you miss me, you are directly responsible for scaring my wife and fucking over my face. Deal with it, cry harder asshole. Moral: You step on my foot, I break off yours, you cost me an eye, you do not know whats waiting in line for you, I am going to make you beg me to let you die! Did you think I would warm up as quickly to something as irresponsible as you? And we do not know yet if you did this on purpose, we do not even live in the same fucking country, and I get assholes assaulting me again! What the hell have you done? If my wife had been here I would have been dead! Moral: I hope you got pets, I will skin them alive in front of your face!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops