What did the nun eat for breakfast? Baseballs.

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What's round, has two hands, and tells time? Some fat guy I know, with a watch.

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What do you get when you cross a shark and a squid Nothing thats impossible

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken is now getting flowers for her dead children that got hit buy multiple cars, also the chicken is a human mother.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The Johnson Family was then heard on the morning news for letting a murderer into their home before being brutally killed.

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Mother Theresa, Billy Graham, and Joseph Smith walk into a bar. Just kidding, no they didn't.

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw 'em.

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How do you cause ultimate pain to a imprisoned Jew during the holocaust? Moral: You give him an apple WITH a worm in it.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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What did the homeless man get for his birthday? AIDS

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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What's blue and wiggles? A baby in a bag

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Two elderly men were sat next to a children's playground... They were there to pick up their grandchildren because their parents were at work.

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Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Meanwhile in the basement...an elderly man, who lives a lone and whose children lead their own lives and dont have much time for him, lies on the ground unable to move after having falling down the stairs. He has been there for 2 days. He is frightened and confused, he hears someone knocking and his hopes perk up, he tries to call but due to lack of water his mouths is too dry to do so. He sobs in frustration. Knock Knock [Silence] The old man cries, aware of his fate.

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What did the woman say to the dog? Stop shitting on my carpet your dickhole

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Why did the donkey cross the road? To get to your house. Knock Knock. Who's there? Heehaw!

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what happens when u fall down the stairs? you break your arm.

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What do you call someone trying to be funny? An anti-comedian.

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What is better than life? Nothing.

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what do you do when see a young girl crying on the swingset? ask her kindly to move, as you would like a turn

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If omar has 7 apples and his bus is 7 minutes early, what is the mass of the sun? Pi. Partially because the piece of paper couldnt dance with your mother.

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what does STFU stand for? the southern tenant farmers union.

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1d

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Why was the teenage girl pregnant? She got raped by her dad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops