A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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VITAMIN C!

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What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Can I have a pound for my bus, pal?

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How many raisins can you fit in a box? It depends on the size of the raisins and the box.

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knock knock whoses there whose home whoses home who? you

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The elephant moonwalked. On the moon.

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Why is Stevie Wonder called Stevie Wonder? Wonder where I am.

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Your Mom is so fat.... When she's goes to McDonald's and orders 3 Big Macs the people standing in line behind her all look at her with disgust and a tinge of pity.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, others don't

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1500 Jews were ordered to walk a straight path whilst in the midst of a blizzard. How close did they ever get to the end? What end? They marched until every last bit of their rotten Jew flesh was driven from their weak bodies. --Amon Goeth

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Why was a black man in a prison cell? He was a highly respected plumber fixing a prisoner's faulty toilet.

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knock knock. who's there? Kony. Kony who? Kony says:" Uganda be abducted"

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An overweight man is at a gym. he is trying to lose weight because he feels uncomfortable with his size.

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Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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What's green and has wheels? The White House. I lied about everything, I'm so sorry.

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Why did the Asian man have to sit down to pee? Because he had no legs.

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if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

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Why did dallin fall off the swing he got hit by jds big penis

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What's worst than getting hit by a car. -Getting hit by a truck.

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

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Where does a one-legged waitress work? Wherever she can get good health insurance.

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Theaters say silence is golden... Trap silence in a jar, make millions.

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What is pink and fuzzy? Pink fuzz

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How many licks did it take for the owl to get to the center of the tootsie roll tootsie pop? A: Since when did owls have tounges?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops