See you later... Just joke I'm blind

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what does pedobear get for christmas ? nothing he's the one giving love to all kids .

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What do you call three Asian people eating a cat? A tragic last resort for a starving family.

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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Why is the sky blue? You like men.

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Why is elmo sad? He was brutally raped by Dora :D

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There are two jews in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here" and the other says "AHH A TALKING JEW"

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Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

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What's funny about your mom? Nothing, she died three weeks ago.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers.

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whats worse then getting sat on by a hippo getting sat on by Matt Ross

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Two guys walk into a bar. They are knocked out and rushe to hospital because the bar was metal.

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Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

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What does "Ford" stand for? Nothing. It's the name of the company founder, not an acronym.

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If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? The IRS. All your base are belong to us.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

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whats worse than a 6 dead babies in a dumpster? You were babysitting them.

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Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the lesbian's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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What did the black man say when he jumped in the pool? The water's nice, you should join me.

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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