There were three men walking across the road and it started to rain

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Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

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Yo mamas so poor, she should probably find a source of consistent payment to support herself.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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There are two jews in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here" and the other says "AHH A TALKING JEW"

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Why cant Stevie Wonder see his friends? Because he is married.

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Montague goes to the alcoholics meeting and says "Hello I'm Montague and I am an alcoholic" Evreyone points at him and chants "LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!" Montague is appaled, he expected to be welcomed with sympathy and respect. Then he realises his mistake. He has walked into meeting with a bottle of whisky and is wearing a Justin Beiber T Shirt

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Hi, how are you doing? Good, yourself? Fine, thanks. Have a nice day. You too, bye.

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Where's the soap?

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A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

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Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

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What is worse than banging your knee on the coffee table? Tripping over one of the legs and smacking your head on the floor, causing a severe concussion.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

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time to spruce up!

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a bag of dead babies? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

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Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? His pace maker failed.

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Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

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How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

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Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

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Q: What lives in holes? A: Jerks.

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Why cant stevie wonder read? Because he is blind

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What is white and shaped like a refrigerator? A refrigerator.

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Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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