Knock knock. who's there? Banana. Banana Who? Knock KNOCK!!! WHO IS THERE!!! BANANA!!!! BANANA WHOOOOO!!! Banana Johnson....... I'M YOUR NEIGHBOR!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q:What's the difference ethernet a corvette and a pile of dead baby's? A:I don't have a corvette in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the dog say to his owner? Bark.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

whats pink, brown, and smells like a banana. monkey vomit?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What happened to the guy that got a perfect score on his S.A.T.'s? He was murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Every circle of friends has a "crazy one". If you can't figure out who the "crazy one" in your group is... Try harder. Either that or you are a terrible judge of character.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you describe a cranky rapist? Cranky and rapist

thumb_up thumb_down -11

3 black guys are in the back of a car. Who is driving? A taxi driver

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the police arrest the black man? He'd committed a crime, and was punished accordingly.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Two guys walk into a bar, but the third guy is a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A student asks a teacher: Sir, how much time would it take for me to do this quiz. Teacher says: From the second I give you this test to the second you hand it back to me.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you do when life gives you lemons? You eat them.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There was a girl that got on the bus . The bus started moving as soon as sat . The bus driver looked up at the window and saw the girl coming closer . Every time she came closer , the more he looked , the girls nose kept on bleeding more and more . When the girl was right next to the bus driver , he started to shudder in fear looking forward , knowing that she is there . When he looks to his right , the girl looked at him , then looked at the window . And started to pick her nose .

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you get if you cross a fairy cake with some boiled parsnips? Fladgemuffin

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats the difference between a house and a mouse If you think about it , quite a lot really

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are wilting violets are wilting YOU HAD ONE JOB

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken commit suicide? Because the numerous failed attempts of crossing over the years deemed it almost impossible, therefore, chicken could no longer see the point in life.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There was a horse in a very hot sumer day. He was in the middle of corn field It was so hot that the corns started popping out. The horse thought it was snowing and died of cold.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Two monkeys are sitting in a tree. One monkey looks to the other monkey and says, "I bet I can jump from this tree to the next tree without falling." The other monkey replies, "I'm sure you could. You're a monkey."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why cant ben cry, because i gorged his eyes out with a popsickle stick.....

thumb_up thumb_down -11

So 2 guys are curious if there is baseball I heaven... So they say when either of them dies they have to come back as a spirit and tell the other man if there is baseball in heaven One of the guys dies and comes back as a spirit... He comes to the other man and says... I've got some good news and some bad news The man says what's the the good news? The spirit says the good news is there is baseball in heaven So the man says what's the bad news?? The spirit says... Your pitching Tuesday night!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops