What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing, rocks are inanimate objects, therefore rendering them unable to participate in the activity of speech.

Knock knock! "It's unlocked"

What do clowns put on bagels? Cream Cheese

whats red and smells like blue paint? half a painter.

A gay guy walks into a bar. Nothing is said to him, because homosexuality is accepted in this area.

Why did the man go to Chinatown? Because he was hungry.

what is the worst thing in the galaxy? runing out of dr.pepper :(

Knock, knock. Who's there? Joseph Kony. Give me your children.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Thousands upon thousands upon thousands of dying infants.

I was walking on the beach when I heard a man yell "Help, Shark, Help!" and I laughed, because I knew the shark wasn't going to help him.

What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

Knock Knock Who's there? Hodor

What's the best part about Africa? Nothing.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have candy GET IN THE VAN NOW BEFORE SOMEBODEY SEES US!

What does the time bomb say to the idiot? Nothing, time bombs are inanimate objects and therefore can't speak.

How do you keep children off your front lawn? You molest them.

A black man walks into a bar, to get a drink.

A farmer goes out to the coop to feed the chickens. They're all dead.

how do u unload the dishwasher? u take the dishes out!

What's black and white, and red all over? A police car. Well, maybe it's not red all over. Just that little light on top. Oh, and the tail lights.

a man eats at a restaraunt alone, because all the people he loved died in a tragic boating accident while he was out of town on a business trip

So Lindsay Lohan walks into a jewelry store. She buys a $2,500 necklace and goes on her way.

A Mexican and a black person both jump off a bridge, who hits the water first? Neither, as all matter falls at the same rate, regardless of weight, size, or ethnicity.

An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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