- Anti Joke

professor x walks over to wolverine with good news, he falls and dies of a severe concussion

Why did a guy with a lisp, v-neck, and piercings pee while sitting down? His joints hurt.

What is the longest word in the English language? SMILES: there is a mile between the first and last letters!"

Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

What did the black man say to the white man? Hello.

Three black men go to the basketball courts one day hoping to play some ball. On the way there they see a homeless man with a sign that says "Homeless. Anything will help." However, since they were on there way to play ball, none of them found it necessary to bring cash, thus resulting in them walking by the homeless man without giving him any money.

A homeless man stumbles upon $100 bill. It is actually just a food wrapper, his eyesight is lackluster.

What is yellow and sleeps alone? Yoko Ono.

Want to hear a joke? Womens rights

why did my girlfriend fail her test? she was pregnant :'(

What's sweaty, fat, and Italian? Italians

How do u save someone from dieing of cancer? U shoot them in the head

Q. Why did billy die? A. Becuase everyone dies in life

Jesus the comedy skits: 1. Jesus just hanging around on a sunny day getting a bit philosophical... Jesus hanging on the cross screaming towards the sky: "FATHER WHYY!?" God: Giant thunderbolt across the sky as a giant storm begins, it rains whirlwinds etc supposedly worst storm since Noah`s ark according to The History Network Wet,cold Jesus with ringing ears: Gurgle spits ... WTF kinda answer is that? Could you not just have said because I work in mysterious ways or something equally stupid? TRUE fact: "then the lordeth sent forth a hailstorm of epic propotions in order to silence all of his insolent children, this was before the burning ashes and the sharp nails of course" -History channel 2. Jesus The wiseguy eh? Jesus being wise: "Only he that hates his mother and father can become my a student of mine" "And as thus God commanded that a single spiky cross with his son`s measurements where made, when Peter asked oh why lordy lordeth? God responded: Because of sin" and all was good" "Then Peter asked Goddeth, oh lawdy lawd, what is sin? God replied: Something original now shaddap!, and all was good?" 3. Brokeback Jesus fact: The bible does not use the word Donkey. "Jesus, why doest thou enter thy neigbors home and ride upon his large ass?" Jesus the psychic: "I shallt just ride upon his ass for a few hours, then God shall take ride his ass back", Ugh, I just got the feeling this is going to sound total Ass in the future... Who is quoting us by the way? -History channel. 4. Jesus the: Dumbass moments extended "Then Jesus touched upon the fig tree that denied him figs that WINTER, later the fig tree was dead for its lazyness" (real if not correctly quoted Jesus fact Kay?) Fact: Fig trees dont exactly look alive during winters, besides no trees give fruit during winter. "Then Jesus proceeded to demand eggs from a rooster, which he killed for the roosters lazyness" "Then Jesus proceeded to milk a bull and..." 5. Real story that does not quite make sense to me. Some blind guy was possessed by Legion, when they (WE ARE LEGION aka bunch of demons) saw Jesus they begged him not to kill them, as they would face God`s wrath. Jesus seemingly spared their life by putting Legion`s into several pigs... Which ran off and drowned themselves in the nearby river. ...Why did they suicide? Was it so humiliating going from a blind old man, towards pigs that they literally drowned themselves (one of the more painful deaths there are) and then probably faced da lawds wrath anyways?

A: What is worse than a melted chocolate bar. B: An eaten one.

I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

I hate you.

A blond, a brunette and a redhead are all trapped on a desert island. They work together and manage to survive until help arrives.

What's worse than having a friend in a car accident? Laughing at their funeral.

Knock, knock Who's there? Die bitch

"So, how's life in North Korea?" "Well, I can't complain."

What do you call a Black Comedian? Funny, You Racist.

You're pretty... PRETTY UGLY

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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