What does the time bomb say to the idiot? Nothing, time bombs are inanimate objects and therefore can't speak.

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how do u unload the dishwasher? u take the dishes out!

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A black man walks into a bar, to get a drink.

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

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What's green and wheels? Your mom.

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Q:What happened to the leprechaun when it jumped in the water? A:It got wet.

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Wher did suzy go after the explosion? everywhere

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Why did the deer hunter shoot a deer? He told his wife he bought a new TV.

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RATE THIS JOKE THUMBS UP FOR TEN COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES RATE THIS JOKE THUMBS UP FOR TEN COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES

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A Mexican and a black person both jump off a bridge, who hits the water first? Neither, as all matter falls at the same rate, regardless of weight, size, or ethnicity.

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A man asked a friend at work if he could have $100, his friend replied "sure I'll give it to you when pigs fly", that man never received $100 dollars from his friend.

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing because they are on opposite sides of the earth

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What does a baseball and a T-Rex have in common? What? Neither of them is a carrot.

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Why'd the girl commit suicide? Because Justin Bieber admitted he was gay.

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What's a Mexican who walks down the street called? A pedestrian.

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My mother got hammered last night. We cried at her funeral.

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LAMBORGHINI MERCY, YO CHICK SHE SO THIRSTY! IM IN THAT 2 SEAT LAMBO WITH YO GIRL... and I'm giving her some Gatorade because it'll quench her thirst but I'm making sure she doesn't spill on my seats because it's new, k

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because she had been forcibly removed from her place of food preparation by a large angry mob of her neighbours who thought she was a wtitch and were now going to burn at the stake. It is Salem, november 1643.

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Steering Wheel Face.

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>>-------------[Knee]---------->>>

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This guy was driving in a car with a blonde. He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked. She stuck her head out and said, yes.

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What is the difference between Jews and the boyscouts? The boyscouts come home from camp.

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Why did suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Whos there NOT SUZY!

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i am an idiot if you read this outloud your a dumb ass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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