The new pickup line. The human body has 206 bones in it. I have broken one of them, please take me to a hospital.

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One day three men died. Heaven had almost been full, and he wanted to see who could get in and who would burn. So the first man starts and says "well I just got home from my girlfriends house, she just dumped me. I was crazy mad, and as I was about to eat the pain away, I saw a man hanging off of my porch. I ran to the man pulled out a sledge hammer, and then smashed his hands off the balcony. And without thinking I picked up my refrigerator and threw it down at him. But sadly I fell with the refridgerator." the second man steps up and says.. "I was doing my dance routine on my porch, and I slipped on an ice cube and flipped off the rail. I took ahold of a railing on which I could puulmupmtomsaftey on, but as I was about to save my own life some psychotic man comes out with a sledge hammer and bashes my hands off the railing. After he threw his refridgerator down at me." and then the third guy says..."well I was in this refridgerator........."

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Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jeff. Jeff who? Sh*t. Wrong house.

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Billy was walking along the sidewalk. He strayed into someone's yard. He got run over by a lawnmower because he couldn't see with the frog he had stapled to his face.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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whats green white black red and can fly? nothing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a predator and crossing the road led it away from it's pursuer.

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Why did Little Jimmy never make it in the NBA? Because he died at age 6.

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Fish for a man, he has food for tonight. Teach a man how to fish and he will have one more skill under his belt.

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gays

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? Well that would be crude and insensitive to ask a person with dementia to do a task so easily performed by a person who is not non compos mentis.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japan

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A black guy, mexican, and asian walk into a bar. They leave soon after because they heard the "one about them"

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roses are red violets are blue i have aids and now so do you.

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The mets are 3-0 this season

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When is the right time to have sex with a 16 year old? After consent from her parents

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What is a dog? Bark

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So one time this woman was learning...

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How do you keep black people out of your back yard? Just like you would anyone else: buy a dog.

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why did Suzy drop her ice cream? doesn't matter, why is she out of the kitchen.

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What is the longest word in the English language? SMILES: there is a mile between the first and last letters!"

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What's black and white and red all over? An interracial couple in a car crash.

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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