My friend said that onions are the only food that could make you cry. That was before I hit him with a watermelon.

Pandas Everywhere!!!

Turtles

did you ever see a butter fly?

How many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 50 in the ashtray.

how do you make a plumber cry kill his family

There are 2 muffins sitting in an oven. Neither of the muffins say anything because muffins can't talk.

The WNBA.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs wearing lead weights in a pool? Screwed.

yo mama's so fat, her medical weight chart is much steeper than those of most women her age

What is the difference between the number 20 and 21 1

whats funnier than the boy with no arms and legs getting cancer? lebron playing basketball

Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

i like potatoes

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a predator and crossing the road led it away from it's pursuer.

Brian: farts RJ: Who farted? Brian: Idk Why? Rj: Smells like sweet ass back here

What do you do when a girl you gave roofies to wakes up? Take your tongue out of her ass and run!

what did one bum way to the other? we're shit out of luck

What do you call a homosexual with no legs or arms. Jerry

gays

Fish for a man, he has food for tonight. Teach a man how to fish and he will have one more skill under his belt.

-What did the gay guy say in Mcdonald's? -Ill have a number 10, with hot sauce and a large coke.

Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza? the pizza wont scream when you put it in the oven.....

you, me and i need to stop doing meth!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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