Me: so Megan did it hurt Megan fox: did what hurt? Me: when ur aged face wasn't good enough for the new transformers movie?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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A black guy walks up to a drug dealer. He asked the drug dealer for directions and went on with his life.

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Wanna hear a "Friday" parody? No, that would be copyright infringement.

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a black guy and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? a taxi driver.

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what's worse than two dead babies? three dead babies.

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Why was the man afraid of the cat? Because he is allergic to cats and might die if he gets too close to it.

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What do you call a contraption made of a wooden rod attached to three strings attached to three rocks? A completely useless and pointless invention.

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If life throws you lemons Catch them

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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How do you keep a woman entertained? A delightful romantic comedy

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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A farmer goes out to the coop to feed the chickens. They're all dead.

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Man: Drink this. Man 2: Ok. (Drinks it) Man; You drank a powerful substance that is 20000 times stronger than hydrochloric acid! Man2: Oh FUCK! Kelvin Yang.

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Yo' momma's so fat that when she steps on the scales the number seen to appear is proportionately larger than that seen to appear when the average human steps on them.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She was shot Knock knock Who's there? Sally Aren't you dead? Oh yeah K Well imma go be dead now Have fun K

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What do Ethiopians do at night? Sleep

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why did helen keller fall down the stairs A; i pushed her

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Two people walk into a bar, the third one ducked.

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Once upon a time, there was boy. I saw this boy. So I sat on him.

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What do you call a used garden tool? A dirty hoe (not ho)

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Whats the difference between a horse and a pile of wheat? Its a pile of wheat.

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- Knock Knock - Whos there? - No one

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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