What is long, erect, and 12 inches long? A ruler.

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Why did German shower heads have eleven holes? Because jews only have ten fingers.

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What did one direction do? Nothing, their music is written by someone else they don't use whatever talent they have and they sound I million dying kittens.

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why did the chicken cross the road? cause it can bitch.

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There are 2 muffins sitting in an oven. Neither of the muffins say anything because muffins can't talk.

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What do you call a group of asians? China.

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What do you call a black person in a pool? A black person swimming.

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What is the difference between the number 20 and 21 1

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arse

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Why couldn't santa eat cookies and milk at little Jimmy's house? He has diabetes and is unable to stray from a strict diet prescribed by his local doctor.

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A black guy, mexican, and asian walk into a bar. They leave soon after because they heard the "one about them"

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roses are red violets are blue i have aids and now so do you.

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why do anti jokes suck???? Because CC is Jewish and rapes orphan squirrels EJ

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This is a haiku The second line is longest Hippopotamus.

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Why did Little Jimmy never make it in the NBA? Because he died at age 6.

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What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm ? Getting herpes from a vibrator that you found in a dumpster.

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Why was the school teacher crying? Because after 12 minutes of watching each one of your students be crushed to death by an 18 wheeler, anyone would cry.

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Your mom is so old, -just kidding. I know she died at a young age.

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Q.)What did the man say to the toilet A.) Hi Jon

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What did one Rhino say to the other? My, I'm sure glad we found this decadent watering-hole.

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What's big, black, wide, long, and has white lines all over it? A new highway road.

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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a little boy and a pedophile are walking in the woods. it is late at night and therefore very dark. the little boy turns to the pedophile.and says "gee mister, it sure is scary out here." the pedophile responds "yeah, and your'e going to get raped"

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose fell on your head." ..."MMMBBWWAAAAAGGGHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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