what do you call a fish with no gills? I dont know what youd call that creature...but its no fish.

Q. Why does Hugo masturbate? A. To build muscle.

What do you call a woman with one leg? An amputee

Q; What smells like chicken, tastes like turkey and looks like duck? A; Nothing...dumbass.

A cathlic priest walks into a bar, but realizes there are no young boys hr could pickup.

johann grayson being liked

My friend said that onions are the only food that could make you cry. That was before I hit him with a watermelon.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The undeveloped cerebral cortex vital for comprehending irony left the chicken incapable of finding humor or possibly feeling self-disgust in the acknowledgment that it had just wandered across said road, this being a grandfathered human jest.

A priest, a Rabi, and a Monk walk out of the bar and go home.

What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass.

Roses are red Violets are red Everything is red If you are dead... Or a potato

women's rights

Why is Chuck Norris' beard so great? because he grooms it daily.

An attractive naked woman walks into a bar. Everyone is surprised, and all the straight men, gay women and bi-sexual men and women in the bar are sexually aroused.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

Why did Napoleon cross his legs? Because he had to go to the bathroom

whats green white black red and can fly? nothing.

What did the farmer say when he lost his donkey? "Oh no, my donkey is my livelihood and the only means I have of supporting my family. Now, we shall surely starve."

What do you call a women out of the Kitchen? Nothing because they shouldn't be

What do a Shark and a lemon have in common? They can both swim, except for the lemon

Q: What did the hobo get for Christmas? A: Hypothermia.

What do you call a black person in a pool? A black person swimming.

What do you call a dinosaur with no teeth? He's British

penis

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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