What did the little girl get for christmas? her first period

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? I don't cum on my watermelon before I eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is long, erect, and 12 inches long? A ruler.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

live babies

thumb_up thumb_down +14

One day three men died. Heaven had almost been full, and he wanted to see who could get in and who would burn. So the first man starts and says "well I just got home from my girlfriends house, she just dumped me. I was crazy mad, and as I was about to eat the pain away, I saw a man hanging off of my porch. I ran to the man pulled out a sledge hammer, and then smashed his hands off the balcony. And without thinking I picked up my refrigerator and threw it down at him. But sadly I fell with the refridgerator." the second man steps up and says.. "I was doing my dance routine on my porch, and I slipped on an ice cube and flipped off the rail. I took ahold of a railing on which I could puulmupmtomsaftey on, but as I was about to save my own life some psychotic man comes out with a sledge hammer and bashes my hands off the railing. After he threw his refridgerator down at me." and then the third guy says..."well I was in this refridgerator........."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a woman who is good at driving? Danica Patrick

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I have a left shoe. I have a right shoe. I have two feet

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do a Shark and a lemon have in common? They can both swim, except for the lemon

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Billy was walking along the sidewalk. He strayed into someone's yard. He got run over by a lawnmower because he couldn't see with the frog he had stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

" I can't here you it's too dark!"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

blubber vaginass CC

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: how do you spell apple without any letters? A: you can't.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a predator and crossing the road led it away from it's pursuer.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a naked black person? A black guy

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because Bob's a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A black guy, mexican, and asian walk into a bar. They leave soon after because they heard the "one about them"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did Little Jimmy never make it in the NBA? Because he died at age 6.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

gays

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What smells worse than an old women's fart? the rotting carcus of a dead baby

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is a woman

thumb_up thumb_down +2

The mets are 3-0 this season

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was Billy sad? An evil clown hit him with an Axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

So one time this woman was learning...

thumb_up thumb_down -4

GUY 1: Mann, I just got done working out, check out my forearms!!! GUY 2: You only have two silly!!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops