My mother got hammered last night. We cried at her funeral.

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Knock Knock COME IN!!!!

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Q; What smells like chicken, tastes like turkey and looks like duck? A; Nothing...dumbass.

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A cathlic priest walks into a bar, but realizes there are no young boys hr could pickup.

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8====D {(0)}

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jokes r dumb

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Gloves.

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Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a Mafia boss so they put him in prison.

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? cancer.

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Last night I had consensual sex with my long term girlfriend in the missionary position. It lasted approximately 4 minutes before I ejaculated into the durex extra safe condom.

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live babies

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Why did the guy read anti jokes? because there funny

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What do yo call SQUIRAL!!!!

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What did the little girl get for christmas? her first period

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs wearing lead weights in a pool? Screwed.

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What do you call a woman who is good at driving? Danica Patrick

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i went to have a wank over anime as well yesterday, the i realised i dont have a penis. -adam fantuzzi

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If I have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, we both have the same monetary value.

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A man walks into a bar every night. He works there.

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What did one direction do? Nothing, their music is written by someone else they don't use whatever talent they have and they sound I million dying kittens.

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One day three men died. Heaven had almost been full, and he wanted to see who could get in and who would burn. So the first man starts and says "well I just got home from my girlfriends house, she just dumped me. I was crazy mad, and as I was about to eat the pain away, I saw a man hanging off of my porch. I ran to the man pulled out a sledge hammer, and then smashed his hands off the balcony. And without thinking I picked up my refrigerator and threw it down at him. But sadly I fell with the refridgerator." the second man steps up and says.. "I was doing my dance routine on my porch, and I slipped on an ice cube and flipped off the rail. I took ahold of a railing on which I could puulmupmtomsaftey on, but as I was about to save my own life some psychotic man comes out with a sledge hammer and bashes my hands off the railing. After he threw his refridgerator down at me." and then the third guy says..."well I was in this refridgerator........."

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Cause it was stapled to the cat.

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Q. How do you make a blonde sad? A. Tell her that her entire family died in an accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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