"So, how's life in North Korea?" "Well, I can't complain."

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

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Q .What robin told to batman before they got into the car? A. Get into the car!!

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whats red and smells like blue paint? half a painter.

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what is the worst thing in the galaxy? runing out of dr.pepper :(

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Joseph Kony. Give me your children.

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Knock knock Who's there? Adolf Adolf who? Adolf Hitler. Are you a jew?

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I was walking on the beach when I heard a man yell "Help, Shark, Help!" and I laughed, because I knew the shark wasn't going to help him.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hodor

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Why is the sky red in London? Fire.

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I once bought a pack of batteries but they weren't included.

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

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how do u unload the dishwasher? u take the dishes out!

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How do you keep children off your front lawn? You molest them.

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Jess Burns

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How do you keep a woman entertained? A delightful romantic comedy

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A Mexican and a black person both jump off a bridge, who hits the water first? Neither, as all matter falls at the same rate, regardless of weight, size, or ethnicity.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at rimes, refridgerator.

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What did the guy who speaks in tongue say to the other guy who speaks in tongue? Gibberish

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So Lindsay Lohan walks into a jewelry store. She buys a $2,500 necklace and goes on her way.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender says, "Why the long face?" and the horse says, "I have cancer."

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69

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Why Because

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There are three men in a canoe traveling upstream. One wheel falls off. How many pancakes fit in a doghouse? 9, because ice-cream has no bones.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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