I you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

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Lilys are from england violets from japan. I've got a knife now get in the van

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This guy walks up to the bartender, and says to him, " ill bet you $100 that i can piss in this cup from 20 ft away." The bartender laughs, thinking hes gonna get an easy 100 bucks. he says "ok, u do that and ill watch." the guy says "ok but one second." he then walks over to this table full of guys and the bartender see him and them whispering and shaking heads. then the guys walks back over, and says to the bartender, "ok here i go" then he whips out his wang and starts pissing all over the place,all over the bartender, the counter, everywhere but the cup. Meanwhile the bartenders laughing, because he thinks he made some easy money. then the bartender asks the guy for his money and the guy says, "alright one minute." then the guys walks over to the table full of guys and they al start pulling out money and give it to him. so the guy walks over to the bartender and says, "here you are, your 100 bucks" the bartender notices him smileing and says "u just lost 100 bucks why are you happy?" and the guy says, " you see that table full of guys over there? well, i bet them all $500 dollars that i could piss all over you, your counter and all of your things, and that youd not only be happy about it, but youd laugh!!!"

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If shes old enough to count..... Then having sex with her would be considered illegal.

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knock, knock no one answers man goes home and shots himself because he feels alone

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a priest, a bishop and a cardinal walk into bar to hand out pamphlets about alcoholism

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A man was drowning in a lake and so he asked God to save him. A man on a boat came by and said to the drowning man "Do you need any help?" The drowning man said "Yes! Thank God a boat came for me!" So the man on the boat pulled the man from the water and saved him.

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A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says "get out you jew!" The bar tender apparently was a Nazi.

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A blond, a brunette and a redhead are all trapped on a desert island. They work together and manage to survive until help arrives.

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if justin beiber was dating a girl what would you call him? a lesbian

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Want to hear a joke? Sorry, you're looking at the wrong website.

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You know what the best part about sleeping pills is? No, what is it? Zzzzzzzzzzz

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Knock, knock Who's there? Die bitch

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? he was epileptic

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There once was a man from Nantucket who secluded himself from the outside world because of a tragic event that happened to him as a child.

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What has 4 eyes, but can't see? 2 blind people.

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Yo mama so poor... that she possesses substantially less money than the average person working hard in order to accumulate money today.

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What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing, rocks are inanimate objects, therefore rendering them unable to participate in the activity of speech.

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What do clowns put on bagels? Cream Cheese

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Knock knock! "It's unlocked"

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whats red and smells like blue paint? half a painter.

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A gay guy walks into a bar. Nothing is said to him, because homosexuality is accepted in this area.

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what is the worst thing in the galaxy? runing out of dr.pepper :(

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Why did the man go to Chinatown? Because he was hungry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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