I was going to write a joke about how I have alzheimers but than I forgot it

thumb_up thumb_down -27

This guy walks up to the bartender, and says to him, " ill bet you $100 that i can piss in this cup from 20 ft away." The bartender laughs, thinking hes gonna get an easy 100 bucks. he says "ok, u do that and ill watch." the guy says "ok but one second." he then walks over to this table full of guys and the bartender see him and them whispering and shaking heads. then the guys walks back over, and says to the bartender, "ok here i go" then he whips out his wang and starts pissing all over the place,all over the bartender, the counter, everywhere but the cup. Meanwhile the bartenders laughing, because he thinks he made some easy money. then the bartender asks the guy for his money and the guy says, "alright one minute." then the guys walks over to the table full of guys and they al start pulling out money and give it to him. so the guy walks over to the bartender and says, "here you are, your 100 bucks" the bartender notices him smileing and says "u just lost 100 bucks why are you happy?" and the guy says, " you see that table full of guys over there? well, i bet them all $500 dollars that i could piss all over you, your counter and all of your things, and that youd not only be happy about it, but youd laugh!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A: What is worse than a melted chocolate bar. B: An eaten one.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Roses are blue, Violets are green, I am color blind, You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's the difference of a team of black people and a pile of shit? None. Kelvin Yang.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What’s the best part about winning a gold medal? Nothing. You’re on acid and staring straight at the sun.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

So this guy and his monkey walk into a bar, I forget the rest of the joke but your mothers a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

I hate you.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Why was the blonde woman crying? -because she witnessed her infant get sucked into a jet engine and was very sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -79

crips r blue bloodz r red choose crips nd thn ur dead (bloodz swoopp)

thumb_up thumb_down -81

Want to hear a joke? Sorry, you're looking at the wrong website.

thumb_up thumb_down -91

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? he was epileptic

thumb_up thumb_down +56

What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What do clowns put on bagels? Cream Cheese

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Q: What's annoying and doesn't smoke? A: AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +46

whats red and smells like blue paint? half a painter.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

what is the worst thing in the galaxy? runing out of dr.pepper :(

thumb_up thumb_down +44

You know what happens when you assume. You jump to a conclusion that could conceivably have severe consequences.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Q: What do you call a unicorn on a mountain? A: Freaking sick.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

A man walks into a bar, orders a few drinks and becomes drunk. the bartender calls a taxi and the man is driven home.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Knock, knock. Who's there? Joseph Kony. Give me your children.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the man fall over screaming? Because he got shot in the leg

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Knock Knock Who's there? Hodor

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops