Your mum is so fat, she has a larger bmi than someone with a healthy bmi

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? - Getting raped by an giant scorpion.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

whats brown and falls out poop :) - haha

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Your Momma’s muscle to fat ratio can only be explained in irrational complex numbers.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

I you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

There once was a man from Nantucket Whose name was Mike

thumb_up thumb_down -28

If shes old enough to count..... Then having sex with her would be considered illegal.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because someone was chasing it.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Hey, come here often? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

Why was the blonde woman crying? -because she witnessed her infant get sucked into a jet engine and was very sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -80

if justin beiber was dating a girl what would you call him? a lesbian

thumb_up thumb_down -82

You know what the best part about sleeping pills is? No, what is it? Zzzzzzzzzzz

thumb_up thumb_down +107

How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

A black man is playing guitar for a white man and a chinese man. After he is finished playing the white man and chinese man compliment him on his nice playing.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Q .What robin told to batman before they got into the car? A. Get into the car!!

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? he was epileptic

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. Why did the car crash? Because the driver was a loaf of bread. Why did the boat sink? Because the pirates attacked.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

A rat scurries into a bar. Six days later, all of the people in that bar die of bubonic plague.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Knock knock. Whos there? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Q: Why cant Helen Keller drive? A: Because shes dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A gay guy walks into a bar. Nothing is said to him, because homosexuality is accepted in this area.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Child Prostitution.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

what did the clinically depressed man last post on twitter? "Oh cruel world, i finally lost all faith in the good of humanity. I am unloved and irrelevant to all. I know nobody will miss me, but goodbye anyway. #suicide " nobody followed him and saw the post and he died alone with nobody at his funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What do you call a man with no legs? A paraplegic.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops