Why was Brother Jim so loyal to god? Because he had a harpoon through his anal cavity.

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I wanted to burn some calories, so i lit a fat kid on fire

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Eliza eh? Of you I do not know but at least you used the correct code yourself, I suppose Nero7 kept your existence hidden from most of us for a reason. This "point Zero" is no more, about time people got out of the fucking north pole anyways, he was buried there, as his identity and existence is better off kept secret from the outside world for reasons many, none the less because if he is found and identified, undesired company might track whatever loose threads he might have left, straight back to us and we are not exactly operating within the parameters of... Legality anymore. Listen, if you want to know more give me the code straight out (I could not care less about deciphering shit right now and we are leaving horseshit network anyways) And I will tell you what Major6 knows, because as far as the screams roaming these halls can tell, he is still alive, you just better be fast, my men and women are not exactly experts at keeping these people alive... Yet, but enough idle chitchat. If you are who you claim to be, you should have the code I need, bring it, and I will present you with the neccesary information... ...Fail to do so, and I suggest that you never address any of us again fair lady, while we can simply not be tracked down, the security here is... Do I need to say? Neo-Nero.

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Why did the plain crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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One kid clicks his pen. The kid sitting next to home clicks his pen. They next 3 kids click their pens. The teacher walks by and says "monkey see monkey do." And the kid that first clicked his pen responded and says "monkey pees all over you."

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What's the problem with blonde people? They don't have black hair.

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You know what the best part about sleeping pills is? No, what is it? Zzzzzzzzzzz

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Yo mama so fat she was diagnosed with diabetes and now has to regulate her daily intake of foods.

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A baby seal walks in to a club

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1+1= 69

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What has 4 eyes, but can't see? 2 blind people.

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Knock knock! "It's unlocked"

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A gay guy walks into a bar. Nothing is said to him, because homosexuality is accepted in this area.

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Why did the man fall over screaming? Because he got shot in the leg

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hodor

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Why did the man go to Chinatown? Because he was hungry.

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What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

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A black guy and a Mexican were in a car. Who was Driving? The police

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you know what sucks more than getting raped by a gorilla? getting raped by two gorillas.

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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Whats worse than a dead baby? 6 million dead Jews.

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

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What did the giraffe say to the monkey? Nothing

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What has two wings and a halo? A chinese phone. WING WING HALO?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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