What's red and puts out fires? A fire truck? Oh, you've heard this joke before.

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Who was the dinosaurs favorite NBA player? He didnt have one. Dinosaurs became extinct far before the NBA was established.

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One, it's just a lightbulb

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I once bought a pack of batteries but they weren't included.

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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If you have alzeimers, wait, never mind i forget.

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What do you call a man with no legs? A paraplegic.

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What has two wings and a halo? A chinese phone. WING WING HALO?

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So what happened after 911?? What do you think?

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Why did the chicken cross the road To go to KFC

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What do you call a man which busts ghosts A ghostbuster. Duh

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A man asked a friend at work if he could have $100, his friend replied "sure I'll give it to you when pigs fly", that man never received $100 dollars from his friend.

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What did the man say to Hitler? You're a douche

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There once was a genie With a sevenfoot weenie And he went to the lady next door She thought it was a snake So she hit it with a rake And then he murdered the shit out of her.

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Brett Farve

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Two parrots are in a cage. The one looks at the other one and says, "answer the phone," and the other one says, "where are my car keys."

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Wanna hear a joke!? Miley Cyrus.

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Two guys were sitting in a pub.

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Why did Justin Bieber smile in his mug shot? He did not understand the consequences of his horrible actions that could have killed many innocent men, woman, or children and, in jail, there could be very dangerous people living there.

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because she had been forcibly removed from her place of food preparation by a large angry mob of her neighbours who thought she was a wtitch and were now going to burn at the stake. It is Salem, november 1643.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar He sits down and has some trouble reading the menu but orders a beer

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing because they are on opposite sides of the earth

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your doorstep? A: Whatever his name is.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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