Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its shoulders.

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what did the clinically depressed man last post on twitter? "Oh cruel world, i finally lost all faith in the good of humanity. I am unloved and irrelevant to all. I know nobody will miss me, but goodbye anyway. #suicide " nobody followed him and saw the post and he died alone with nobody at his funeral.

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How did Peter Parker tell his uncle that he was Spiderman? He didn't because he was already dead.

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What has two wings and a halo? A chinese phone. WING WING HALO?

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Do you want to hear a joke? Sure. Justin Bieber is straight.

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What do you call a man with no legs? A paraplegic.

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What's better than winning the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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A Black man walks out of a KFC.

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A man walks into a bar and only gets a glass of water due to the fact that he is a recovering alcoholic.

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how do u unload the dishwasher? u take the dishes out!

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

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I like to eat.

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Wher did suzy go after the explosion? everywhere

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Military intelligence.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Whats better than a panda? A panda with an ice cream cone.

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What do you do to a duck with no bill? Please, leave the duck alone, it's bad enough for him having no bill.

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Why did the deer hunter shoot a deer? He told his wife he bought a new TV.

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Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

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Your mom is so fat, she has sleep apnea.

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So I went to the airport the other day, and the new TSA regulations are very strict.

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What do you call a man which busts ghosts A ghostbuster. Duh

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Kenny G

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side why didnt the chicken cross back? for the first time in his life, Clucky the chicken, felt liberated. his cruel life flashed before his eyes, forcing him to remember all the bad tines he had spent on the McKinley farm. all the eggs stolen from him, watching all his friends being taken for slaughter. it all came back. from the other side of the road, Clucky saw a place he never wanted to go back to, a place he wanted to forget. the day he chose not to cross back was the first real day in Clucky's life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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