Matt swam through watter. Gaby drowned on dry land.

Do you think retarded people know that they are retarded? I don't know, you tell me. Wait a second....did you just call me retarded? They are clueless.

Pandas Everywhere!!!

Rick Perry.

Turtles

What's the difference between medicine and astronomy ? They're different fields of studies.

women's rights

Women's rights.

A dyslexic man walked into a bar. Even though he couldn't read the sign, it was still a bar.

How do you stop a puppy from barking in the front yard? Put him in the backyard.

American healthcare.

Why wasn't Pat able to get an erection? Because Pat is a girl.

chuck norris is a little b|tch

What do you call a dinosaur with no teeth? He's British

In the future... "Hey Apple! Hey, hey Apple!" "What the heck, Orange! You've been doing this for the last 10 billion years!"

A black guy, mexican, and asian walk into a bar. They leave soon after because they heard the "one about them"

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a predator and crossing the road led it away from it's pursuer.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japan

What's bigger than your penis? The Empire State Building.

Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

Q: What is Paul's nickname A: His name is Paul, he doesn't need a nickname

The Aristocrats

Roses are shit Violets are my dick Guess what I do for a living? Sex with refrigerator monkeys!

Woman : Child,what time is it? Child : I'm not a kid, I Broccoli.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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