josh simpson has cancer

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Your momma's so fat, that if the word for fat was "plachow" I'd say "yeah your momma, she's a little bit plachow."

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Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

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Why don't you have a seat, over there?

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A Mexican and a black person both jump off a bridge, who hits the water first? Neither, as all matter falls at the same rate, regardless of weight, size, or ethnicity.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar He sits down and has some trouble reading the menu but orders a beer

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why did the man come out of the closet? because the dark scares him and it smelled like moth balls

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A man walks into a bar. Ow!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Africa is great, you should get raped

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What's a Mexican who walks down the street called? A pedestrian.

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Women's rights

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How many gays does it take to turn a lightbulb? 1

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No.

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Steering Wheel Face.

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There are three men in a canoe traveling upstream. One wheel falls off. How many pancakes fit in a doghouse? 9, because ice-cream has no bones.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender brings him the beer, and the man drinks it. Then the man dies in a car crash while driving back to his family

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What do you call a woman with one leg? An amputee

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What did the mother give her family for christmas? Nothing. The family is Jewish.

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Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

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Why did suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Whos there NOT SUZY!

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Pandas Everywhere!!!

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Q: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? A: They're all gone!

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Why was the child in the clown's car? Because the clown was a serial killer and abducted the child while he was at soccer practice, the child then raped and murdered

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A horse walks into a bar. He ordered some fries.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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