Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

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What did the guy who speaks in tongue say to the other guy who speaks in tongue? Gibberish

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69

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Obama

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Your mom is so fat that her BMI is in the morbidly obese column.

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Your mom is so fat, she has sleep apnea.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar He sits down and has some trouble reading the menu but orders a beer

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What do you do when you come to a fork in the road? You take it

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

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No.

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What do you call a black Jew that is also a crippled midget with no family except for an autistic brother? His original name that his mother gave him at birth.

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? seeing this joke 1000 times on this website

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing because they are on opposite sides of the earth

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Why did the mexican cross the road....... To find work so he can support his starving family

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Knock Knock Who's There Ur Mom Ur Mom Who Ur Mom is Dead

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Freedom of Speech

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To murder your whole family.

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A man walked into a haunted house and screamed. He had stepped on a nail.

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Why don't chickens where pants? Cause they're animals,duh.

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I have a left shoe. I have a right shoe. I have two feet

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What did one direction do? Nothing, their music is written by someone else they don't use whatever talent they have and they sound I million dying kittens.

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One day three men died. Heaven had almost been full, and he wanted to see who could get in and who would burn. So the first man starts and says "well I just got home from my girlfriends house, she just dumped me. I was crazy mad, and as I was about to eat the pain away, I saw a man hanging off of my porch. I ran to the man pulled out a sledge hammer, and then smashed his hands off the balcony. And without thinking I picked up my refrigerator and threw it down at him. But sadly I fell with the refridgerator." the second man steps up and says.. "I was doing my dance routine on my porch, and I slipped on an ice cube and flipped off the rail. I took ahold of a railing on which I could puulmupmtomsaftey on, but as I was about to save my own life some psychotic man comes out with a sledge hammer and bashes my hands off the railing. After he threw his refridgerator down at me." and then the third guy says..."well I was in this refridgerator........."

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs wearing lead weights in a pool? Screwed.

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There are 2 muffins sitting in an oven. Neither of the muffins say anything because muffins can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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