In soviet Russia... there is a distinct probability that you will get mugged due to the high crime rate and gang ruled streets.

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Why do black people smell? So blind people can hate them too.

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Why did the black kid fail in school? Because of the achievement gap.

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Im not racist i love black people i have 5 of them.

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose fell on your head." ..."MMMBBWWAAAAAGGGHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? Just one.

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If shes old enough to count..... Then having sex with her would be considered illegal.

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A man was drowning in a lake and so he asked God to save him. A man on a boat came by and said to the drowning man "Do you need any help?" The drowning man said "Yes! Thank God a boat came for me!" So the man on the boat pulled the man from the water and saved him.

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One kid clicks his pen. The kid sitting next to home clicks his pen. They next 3 kids click their pens. The teacher walks by and says "monkey see monkey do." And the kid that first clicked his pen responded and says "monkey pees all over you."

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What's a four letter word that ends with "rape"? Stop.

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You know what the best part about sleeping pills is? No, what is it? Zzzzzzzzzzz

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How did the old man climb the hill? He didn't.

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How do you make a Fireman cry? You kill his family in a fire.

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how did the bling man cross the street? He didn't half way there he tripped and got ran over by a car.

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What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas? A visit from the Make a Wish Foundation and the opportunity to see her favorite band in concert. Unfortunately, she was very ill from the chemotherapy, and was unable to really enjoy herself at the concert. She passed away several days later, surrounded by family and friends.

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How did Peter Parker tell his uncle that he was Spiderman? He didn't because he was already dead.

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What do you call a man with no legs? A paraplegic.

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Two men are waiting for the traffic light to cross the road. One looks at the other and says 'Hello!' The other replies 'Hello!'

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Why was the man afraid of the cat? Because he is allergic to cats and might die if he gets too close to it.

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What is a chinese person in your house? A human being

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You are the third derivative of the position function.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interru--- MOO! I'm so sorry, I have Tourette's Syndrome and cannot control these sudden outbursts. Please continue.

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Why was grandma lying on the floor? She just died of lung cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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