what do an elephant, a fishook, and a spaceship have in common? absolutely nothing

What's the difference between uranium and plutonium? Blast radius

Q:What happened to the leprechaun when it jumped in the water? A:It got wet.

A man walks into a bar He has a water, he is sober

So what happened after 911?? What do you think?

What did the alcoholic do when he finished his beer? Opened another one.

What do you call a man which busts ghosts A ghostbuster. Duh

Q: Why did the boy cry? A: He was denied access into heaven

A dyslexic man walks into a bar He sits down and has some trouble reading the menu but orders a beer

Two guys were sitting in a pub.

What's the opposite of fly? To not fly

Women's rights

How many jews do you need to change a lightbulb? -One.

Why did dan jump off of the empire state building? -Because Carl pushed him off.

Two parrots are in a cage. The one looks at the other one and says, "answer the phone," and the other one says, "where are my car keys."

why did the man come out of the closet? because the dark scares him and it smelled like moth balls

Q: Why can't Helen Keller drive? A:Because she is a woman A: She is blind deaf and dumb A: No seriously because she is dead.

why'd the chicken committed suicide?? to get to the other-side

Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because she had been forcibly removed from her place of food preparation by a large angry mob of her neighbours who thought she was a wtitch and were now going to burn at the stake. It is Salem, november 1643.

My mother got hammered last night. We cried at her funeral.

Q; What smells like chicken, tastes like turkey and looks like duck? A; Nothing...dumbass.

A cathlic priest walks into a bar, but realizes there are no young boys hr could pickup.

Why did the guy read anti jokes? because there funny

Last night I had consensual sex with my long term girlfriend in the missionary position. It lasted approximately 4 minutes before I ejaculated into the durex extra safe condom.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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