What did the doctor say to his patient? You have cancer

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What did the man say to Hitler? You're a douche

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he lost his grip on the branch and was unable to reach another before reaching the ground.

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What do you do to a duck with no bill? Please, leave the duck alone, it's bad enough for him having no bill.

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Brett Farve

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how do you kill a rich blonde? give her black die

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing because they are on opposite sides of the earth

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What's big? Jupiter.

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There are three men in a canoe traveling upstream. One wheel falls off. How many pancakes fit in a doghouse? 9, because ice-cream has no bones.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson was a child molester.

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Potato salad

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How many gays does it take to turn a lightbulb? 1

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What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Raped

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>>-------------[Knee]---------->>>

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A catholic priest invited one of Sunday school students to his house one night. They watched a movie and the boy was home before his bedtime.

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What is long, erect, and 12 inches long? A ruler.

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why did the chicken cross the road? who knows, we cannot read an animals (or a human for that matter) mind. Perhaps, though unlikely as he's a chicken, he saw a friend across the road or a child who wants to stroke him. Perhaps he is trying to escape being used as a circus act or being cooked for a supermarket. We cannot complain if the chicken wishes for a better life. Anyway, we shall never know why the chicken decided to cross the road, and never will, as it is dead after being hit by a car.

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I have a left shoe. I have a right shoe. I have two feet

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The WNBA.

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An Englishman, Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a pub where they are presented with a situation, the Englishman and Scotsman react appropriately but the Irishman does something foolish.

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" I can't here you it's too dark!"

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What do apples taste like? Apples.

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Knock knock Nobody's home.

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whats funnier than the boy with no arms and legs getting cancer? lebron playing basketball

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops