Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

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Why was the school teacher crying? Because after 12 minutes of watching each one of your students be crushed to death by an 18 wheeler, anyone would cry.

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A black man, a mexican man and a chinese man all walk into a supermarket. Together, they purchase ingredients to make a delicious vegetarian lasagna. That night, they make the lasagna and greatly enjoy it together.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Statutory Rape.

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A man saw a dinosaur. He probably watched it on the television because dinosaurs have been extingt for a very long time.

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Two oranges walking down the street, one says to the other, "Where do you live?". The other replies "I'm not telling you, you'll steel my washing"

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Q: why did timmy fall over? A: he was hit by a plane

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You know what the best part about sleeping pills is? No, what is it? Zzzzzzzzzzz

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How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

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Chuck Norris is a normal man.

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What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas? A visit from the Make a Wish Foundation and the opportunity to see her favorite band in concert. Unfortunately, she was very ill from the chemotherapy, and was unable to really enjoy herself at the concert. She passed away several days later, surrounded by family and friends.

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Why did the burglar rob the bank? because he needed money due to the economic decline.

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What starts with C and ends with UNT. Ciretrunt

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How did sally fall off the swings? she had no arms. Knock knock, who is there? Not sally.

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Whats big, hairy, and super long? My big toe you pervert.

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If you have alzeimers, wait, never mind i forget.

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What has two wings and a halo? A chinese phone. WING WING HALO?

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Three blind mice walk into a bar, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative

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What's green and wheels? Your mom.

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A black man walks into a bar, to get a drink.

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Q:What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? A: It varies. But most dental offices are open for service between 8am and 4pm

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So I went to the airport the other day, and the new TSA regulations are very strict.

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What's the difference between uranium and plutonium? Blast radius

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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