One day three men died. Heaven had almost been full, and he wanted to see who could get in and who would burn. So the first man starts and says "well I just got home from my girlfriends house, she just dumped me. I was crazy mad, and as I was about to eat the pain away, I saw a man hanging off of my porch. I ran to the man pulled out a sledge hammer, and then smashed his hands off the balcony. And without thinking I picked up my refrigerator and threw it down at him. But sadly I fell with the refridgerator." the second man steps up and says.. "I was doing my dance routine on my porch, and I slipped on an ice cube and flipped off the rail. I took ahold of a railing on which I could puulmupmtomsaftey on, but as I was about to save my own life some psychotic man comes out with a sledge hammer and bashes my hands off the railing. After he threw his refridgerator down at me." and then the third guy says..."well I was in this refridgerator........."

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So there's this cup that I own... I use it to aid in the drinking of my hot or cold beverages.

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What do yo call SQUIRAL!!!!

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i went to have a wank over anime as well yesterday, the i realised i dont have a penis. -adam fantuzzi

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There are 2 muffins sitting in an oven. Neither of the muffins say anything because muffins can't talk.

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How can you tell if a duck is watching you? Look at its eyes

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What do a Shark and a lemon have in common? They can both swim, except for the lemon

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Adam knocks on the door. Eve: who is it? Adam: Don't be silly, just open the f*cking door.

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Q: how do you spell apple without any letters? A: you can't.

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What is Jason? Black.

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ekoj

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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What do you call a cereal killing homeless man? Roofless

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japan

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What do you do when a girl you gave roofies to wakes up? Take your tongue out of her ass and run!

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you, me and i need to stop doing meth!

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What do you call an asian man driving a plane? Nothing, you cannot drive a plane you can only fly it

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your mamas so fat when she puts on a belt she has to use a bomarang to get it around her.

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Brian: farts RJ: Who farted? Brian: Idk Why? Rj: Smells like sweet ass back here

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why do anti jokes suck???? Because CC is Jewish and rapes orphan squirrels EJ

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Expensive cheese.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is a woman

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This is a haiku The second line is longest Hippopotamus.

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What happened to the blonde who blew out her birthday candles? Her hair caught on fire

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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