You know what happens when you assume. You jump to a conclusion that could conceivably have severe consequences.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Knock, knock. Who's there? Joseph Kony. Give me your children.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the man fall over screaming? Because he got shot in the leg

thumb_up thumb_down +42

A man walks into a bar, orders a few drinks and becomes drunk. the bartender calls a taxi and the man is driven home.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Q: What do you call a unicorn on a mountain? A: Freaking sick.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Knock Knock Who's there? Hodor

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What has two wings and a halo? A chinese phone. WING WING HALO?

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What did the doctor say to his patient? You have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do you call a man with no legs? A paraplegic.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

So what happened after 911?? What do you think?

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Whats black, white, and huge? The world if you are a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did Hitler cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How do you confuse a blond? Ask her to solve ( [3x - 3x^2 +1]^744 ) x ( [- 3x + 3x^2 +1]^745 )

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A Black man walks out of a KFC.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's better than winning the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

how do u unload the dishwasher? u take the dishes out!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How is Stevie Wonder like Ray Charles? They are both talented musicians

thumb_up thumb_down +32

You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the chicken cross the road To go to KFC

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A Mexican and a black person both jump off a bridge, who hits the water first? Neither, as all matter falls at the same rate, regardless of weight, size, or ethnicity.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A man walks into a bar. Ow!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops