What did the little girl get for christmas? her first period

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live babies

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A priest, a Rabi, and a Monk walk out of the bar and go home.

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Q: What did Helen Keller say to the bartender? A: "I would like a bud lite please" it was a different Helen Kellar

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? I don't cum on my watermelon before I eat it.

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What is long, erect, and 12 inches long? A ruler.

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kennah campion... being nice

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One day three men died. Heaven had almost been full, and he wanted to see who could get in and who would burn. So the first man starts and says "well I just got home from my girlfriends house, she just dumped me. I was crazy mad, and as I was about to eat the pain away, I saw a man hanging off of my porch. I ran to the man pulled out a sledge hammer, and then smashed his hands off the balcony. And without thinking I picked up my refrigerator and threw it down at him. But sadly I fell with the refridgerator." the second man steps up and says.. "I was doing my dance routine on my porch, and I slipped on an ice cube and flipped off the rail. I took ahold of a railing on which I could puulmupmtomsaftey on, but as I was about to save my own life some psychotic man comes out with a sledge hammer and bashes my hands off the railing. After he threw his refridgerator down at me." and then the third guy says..."well I was in this refridgerator........."

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What do you call a woman who is good at driving? Danica Patrick

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I have a left shoe. I have a right shoe. I have two feet

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" I can't here you it's too dark!"

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Billy was walking along the sidewalk. He strayed into someone's yard. He got run over by a lawnmower because he couldn't see with the frog he had stapled to his face.

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Q: how do you spell apple without any letters? A: you can't.

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blubber vaginass CC

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here i am sitting here staring at the wall and beside me is a doll, oh no its moving, i hope it doesnt lick tht popsicle, oh no it just licked tht popsicle, oh no oh no

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a predator and crossing the road led it away from it's pursuer.

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Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because Bob's a fish.

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What do you call a naked black person? A black guy

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is a woman

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Three men sat at a pub, it reminded them of this joke they once heard

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how do you french braid? ask a french dude to braid your hair DUHH

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Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it was born yesterday.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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professor x walks over to wolverine with good news, he falls and dies of a severe concussion

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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