Q: What happens when Lisa drops an iPad? A: She plays Desperado on the sax.

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

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Did you hear the one about the koala bear that fell out of the tree? Yeah it died.

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Parents who drive with children on their lap should be wrapped with a huge diapper

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

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my egg roll

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Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! That's a rather strange psychological problem I think you should consult a professional psychologist rather than see me.

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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Why do black people like fried chicken?? Because it was fried

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69.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. But it was winter and they froze to death

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When one person has an imaginary friend, you call it being crazy. But when more than one person has the same imaginary friend, you call it religion.

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Why did the bald man go to hospital? Because we was getting chemotherapy

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Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

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what did one gagged man say to the other gagged man? nothing he was gagged

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Why is this the worst joke ever? Because it isn't even funny.

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What kind of doctors would you call A 30 year old chimpanzee? I would say "Plastic surgeon" but that would be unscrupulous to the chimpanzees because the tearing off or "lifting" of the owners face is because they are just animals. And should have never been kept in captivity that long anyways.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis

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Why did the boy's house get destroyed? It was bombed.

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Why did the booger throw a fit? Because it was getting picked on.

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Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

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A woman takes a shortcut through a dark alley. She is raped, robbed, and murdered. Her family mourns her death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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