Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You set the alarm for a reasonable time. - Louis

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Mr Mac reminds me that no matter how hard you try you will always lose your hair

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What did the sheriff call the death of a black man who was shot 14 times? -The worst case of suicide he'd ever seen.

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What did Reed read? A. Read?

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Thankgiving Jimmy: I'm thankful for my family Thomas: I'm thankful for shelter Jake: I'm thankful for running over babies

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why was the 6 year old boy crying? his mother had just passed away from terminal cancer and his stepdad caught him crying so he kicke hm in the face and told him to man up.

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What has nine arms and sucks? Four children with two arms snacking on a lollipop, and one child with one arm snacking on a lollipop.

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homosexual rights to marriage

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Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

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what do you call a gay ginger boy ? Ronan.

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what is the difference between the number 2 and the number 5 3

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World's 2 Biggest Lies 1. I have read and agree to the Terms of Service 2. That was my last piece of gum

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what do you call the breaching of the anal cavity with a penis? butt sex

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What's the different between a white guy and a black guy? The white guy makes his money, and the black guy steels the white guys money.

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Why was the man upset? Both sides of his pillow were warm.

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What do you call an Asian who can't drive? Underage, and therefore has not required his license to do so.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis.

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A small child walks past a man on the street: Fortunately, as the man hates children he is perfect height to let a massive fart rip in his face on the way past. His mum looks disgusted. They carry on with their day.

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Who's a tool and a NARC? Josh Brami!

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what do you call a black drug dealer? A pharmacist.

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What has a beard and bombed the World Trade Center? Osama Bin Ladin. No, but seriously he's a terrorist.

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A door walks up with a knob what does the guy do? he opens the door

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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