roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first one Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -He thought it was a game Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? -He had no arms Why did the girl fall off her bike? -She was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator

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What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

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I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

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What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

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What has four legs and a tail? A table with a tail

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A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

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star wars kid

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Steve Jobs is alive.

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer while the other is just a water melon.

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What did Osama Bin Laden Say to Obama when they met? Nothing Osama is Dead

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There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

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what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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Me:Oh wait, I got a joke! Friends:Oh boy, what is it? Tell us! Me:..my grandma died.. *Everyones silent* Some random guy:Oh haha, I get it! Me:Shut up, you have no friends. Some random guy: Oh........

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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What has two legs? Half a cat

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My Nan, that is all.

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing set? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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