What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

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It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

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Why did i get some thing to eat? Because i was hungry.

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what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

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No soup for you!

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Hold on, please hold on! I will explain, it is my name, but I don't know whats so wrong with it at all... Please give me five minutes, I need to use the bathroom, please don't go just yet, don't be mad at me, what have I done wrong now? I mean if you are gonna go to sleep or something please do not be upset with me.

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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What's the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung Galaxy? Google it, there are many differences.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, No, violets are VIOLET, That’s why they’re called “violets.” Edmund Spenser was an idiot.

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Dude man, I'm high...

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Q: How do you know a chinese guy robbed your house? A: your homework is done, your computer is updated, and 2 hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The police, your father just died in a boat accident.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

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Have you seen stevie wonders new piano? No Well it's really nice

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What's John Lennon doing these days? Decomposing.

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

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What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

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A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

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knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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Don't read this or I'll be angry ...…...... Darn you...

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I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

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What is worse then falling into a lava pit? Nothing you idiot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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