What would you do if your penis disintegrated? Never mate again.

what did pedobear say to the 60 year old man nothing he was too busy molesting the girl across the street

What's brown and smells like poo? Poo.

Roses are red Violets are red Bushes are red Why's my garden on fire?

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, He gave me AIDS, And I gave them to you!

Whats worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

what is big white and hurts when it falls on you out of tree? A refrigerator

what do you say to the preacher when he walks into church? i dont fu***** know, im jewish.

I am going to school I live in Ohio, but I'm at Germany How do I do it? I'm a blonde, nobody knows

Roses are red, Violets are dead, I climbed through your window, I'm under your bed

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

Why did the plane to New York not land? It was redirected to Boston because of inclement weather.

A cripple and a Jew walk into a bar. They sit down and begin to discuss all the stigmas that they have faced their entire lives. The conversation goes on for an hour, at which point a black man walks in. Just then, the bar explodes and they all die.

What do you call a dolphin without a head? Dead.

your mamas so fat she tried to hang herself but the rope broke.

why was Michael Jackson at K-Mart? They offer high quality items at a reasonable price and lay-away during the holidays.

Why are a black man's eyes always bloodshot red after having sex? Pepper spray.

Why was the man sent to the hospital? He got crushed by a flying refrigerator.

What's better than winning a gold medal in the paralympics? Walking.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? A hurt animal that should promtly be taken to the RSPCA for surgery.

A grasshopper walks into a bar and no one notices because it's just a little insect.

What's worse than opening your pantry door and finding nothing desirable to eat? Repeated high voltage electrical shocks to the anus.

What do you get when you mix a turtle and a dog An animal

A black man a white man and an asian man walk into a bar have a few drinks and on thier drive home run over a three year old little girl and here to month old sister and they go to prison for the rest of thier lives (they shouldn't of let the asian drive)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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