A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

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Human: Are you a frayed knot? Frayed knot: I'm afraid so.

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what is like a duck and quacks ? A duck.

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Whats black and hangs from trees? To get to the other side.

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Why can't Anne Frank write a sequel? Because she's dead.

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Jack: Hey, you know what sucks? Jill: Vacuums Jack: Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense? Jill: Black holes Jack: Hey, you know what just isn't cool? Jill: Lava?

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When does Adolf Hitler get horny? When his hormones start at it when looking at women.

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Whats the difference between right and left? I stabbed your mom with my left hand.

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Why did the boy get coal in his stalking. Cause he wants to be a geologist and that's what he asked for.

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What's the different between a white guy and a black guy? The white guy makes his money, and the black guy steels the white guys money.

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and a sorority girl? You could always eat the bowling ball if you really had to.

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why did the Mexican eat a octopus because he was hungry would die if he didn't

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A gay man watches football.

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What was the women doing out of the kitchen? Watching the movie 'Birth of a Nation' at her father's house

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what's black and white and red all over? a zebra in a blender

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What's more disturbing than finding an apple in your worm? The fact that you're eating a worm.

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Why was the woman on video chat? She was videochatting with her husband, he was out of town.

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Whats long, green and falls out of trees? A canoe. Why did the old man fall out of the tree? He was in the canoe.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Blind jokes are not funny! I just don't see the humor in them

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Why did the man have a heart attack? Because he suffered from high cholesterol and cardiovascular disease.

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If i was given a penny every time i hear "It's not my fault". I will have the money equal to the nominal price multiplied by the count of times i heard that phrase.

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You are as dumb as a dumb looking person.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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