why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +23

whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Let's go ride bikes!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A black man accidentally walks into a white man......they apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

thumb_up thumb_down +23

An Iranian, a Mexican, and an American are on an airplane. The plane is too heavy to take off, so to lighten the load, each person has to throw off something their country has a lot of. The Iranian throws off a nuclear bomb. The Mexican throws off a sombrero. The American throws off an apple pie.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

When life gives you cancer, make cancer-aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, He cracked his skull and died on impact. He will be missed.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Inbreeding is really funny if you think about...

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A my dog was a rappa. He recorded a hit. But it had no lyrics, because he is a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why can't Michel Jackson play chess? He's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the traffic light say to the car? dont look at me am changing.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the little girl fall off of the swing set? Because she didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the chiken cross the road? idk, i can't talk to chikens

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Whats blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

thumb_up thumb_down +21

hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile Get in the batmobile

thumb_up thumb_down +21

do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops