Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

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Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

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An elephant walked into a bar. By bar I mean jungle. Elephants aren't capable of walking into a bar.

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Why did anna stop wanting to build a snowman? Beacuse she died of cancer.

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How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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VITAMIN C!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother. Please open the door. Your mother who? You were adopted.

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Bigfoot, the loch ness monster, and self-respecting Justin Beiber fans are all the same, your told they exist, it's not true.

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Knock Knock who's there its black george washington.

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Ha ha. You've wasted your life, sucker!

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Whats red and tastes like parsley? Not Red Parsley

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whats worse than four babies in a box? one baby in four boxes

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Doctor Doctor! I think im turning into a carrot! Thats a side effect of the drugs Alice, We've just had your test results back. I'm sorry Alice, You've got HIV.

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How many raisins can you fit in a box? It depends on the size of the raisins and the box.

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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What do you call a guy with an ax in his chest? An ambulance.

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Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Reading re-posts of classic anti jokes posted by lonely teenagers.

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A horse walks into a bar, prompting the show-jumping judges to subtract points for failing to clear the obstacle.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

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what did Stan say to Dave? nothing, Dave died 500 years before Stan was born, thus he said nothing.

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Two Jewish men are walking when they see a penny on the ground. They continue walking because pennies are not worth picking up in today's economy

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Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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