Why can't Michael Jackson work at a boy scouts camp? Because he's dead.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot

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What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys. The owner of a basketball team

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Until further notice Penn State's take your child to work day has been canceled.

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What happens to a blonde girl who is buying drugs off of a drug dealer? Nothing, she was an undercover police officer trying to arrest said drug dealers on the street.

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Roses are red Violets are blue If you are reading this Then it must be deja vu

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YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

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What"s pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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why was six afraid of seven? prison changes a person

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What isyellow and can't swim? a bulldozer

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Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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What do you tell your chicken when it is it's birthday. Nothing, because he wouldn't understand you.

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What's green and eats rocks? A green rock eater What's purple and eats rocks? It hasn't been discovered by science yet...

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Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the nazis we have reason to suspect that you are harboring illegal jewish fugitives and would like to check your house if it isn't too much trouble on your part.

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have you seen Stevie wonders car? No Neither has he

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A pair of brothers walked into a bar. It was where the wake was being held from their mother's funeral.

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How did the chicken cross the road?he just got up and walked to the other side.

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A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are on the run from the police. They see a barn, and decide to hide inside it. They find three burlap sacks, and each hide in one. The police enter the barn, arrest each of the girls, and sentence them to life imprisonment for murder.

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Why did Batman brush his teeth? So he wouldn't get bat breath

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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whats the difference between a black man playing basketball and a white man playing basketball? They are different races

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Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's going to buy you a another mockingbird.

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Q: What's small, round, and looks like a marble? A: A marble.

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Roses are red, Violets aren't. This doesn't make sense. Potatoes and brown.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops