Beans, beans, are good for your heart the more you eat the less hungry you are.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a short term memory Roses are red

What do you call a piece of celery with peanut butter on it? your moms dead

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

For Chuck Norris every street is one way his way.

How do you kill a blond? Stab her repeatedly in her throat

How do you blind an Asian man You stab him six times in each eye socket and drop cyan pepper in his eye wound.

Knock Knock Whos there? Rivkee Rivkee who? RIVKEEEEE FIRETRUCK!

what's small, red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

Why did the boy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs

Why were Billy's parents laughing at him? Because he was just diagnosed with cancer!

Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

how do you make a plummer cry? you spell PLUMBER wrong

What's the Chinese guy's favorite color? Blue.

Give to the less fortunate. Date ugly people

these guys im about to shoot owen,john,henry,shawn

What did the horse say to the man? The man woke up from his dream so he didn't know either

why did your mom die? Cuz i killed her

penis. nuff said.

What did the platypus do whenever he walked into the bar? Nothing. It's a platypus, they don't do much.

What's purple, smells like an eggplant, and looks like an eggplant? An eggplant.

what do u tell a woman who has two black eyes? nothing, somebody already told her twice.

Why do jews have large noses? Genetics.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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