What did the cat say to the chicken? Meow

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Q. Why were the children sad? A. They'd just been abducted by a dodgy old man in a van.

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Why did the Muslim cross the road? He was on fire and he needed to get to the lake on the other side of the street to put himself out.

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Why did labour not win the election in 2010? Because they are clearly shit.

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roses are red violets are blue I have a knife stand by the door

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wheres an unexpected place to find sand? a human pancreas.

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Why couldn't the blonde count to 70? because 69 was a mouth full:)

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Jack Stevens

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How did the clown get the baby to stop crying? He hit it with an axe.

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A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

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What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

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1,000 americans jump off a plane. They all die as a result of not having parachutes.

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Texter 1: Hey, do you want to hang out? Texter 2: Sorry dude, i lost my phone, i'm trying to find it Texter 1: Ok, text me when you find it Texter 2: OK

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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what is worse - this joke or the last one? what is worse still - sex what is worster - nothing that's not a real word what is wurst? a type of sausage

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Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? Because sloths often confuse their arm with a branch, grab on and fall to their deaths.

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because its owner was neglecting him and the kitten later died of malnurisment

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Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

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Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

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Why did whitney Houston become a drug addict? Because she made some very bad decisions in her life.

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If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Regression.

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What's worse than burning a candle. Burning the bible. -Juanita

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What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

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What's facial hair? Hair that slowly progresses to grow out of certain areas on your face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops