How is a presidential election like Alien vs. Predator? Whoever wins, we lose.

Mail Man: *Knocks on door* Guy & Girl: WHAT?! *laughing* Mail Man: Mail! Guy & Girl: Hold on she is almost done with the whip cream.

A man walked into a pole barn oh wait I meant a pole bar so it actually hurt.

why did the black man fall down the stairs? he was blind, do to loss of vision from cancer

Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

Wanna hear a dirty joke....? A pig rolling in mud!

Alright so an elite group of Navy Seals walk into a mansion. They open fire on Osama Bin Laden and kill him.

Knock, knock Who's there? It's me Me who? Just open your damn door funny guy it's freezing out here

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a short term memory Roses are red

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why don't you ask the chicken. I am sorry but I as a human being am totally incapable of understanding and communicating with chickens.

What's the difference between an orange? Two typewriters, because vests don't have sleeves.

If the goverment wants us to be eco friendly then why are the eco friendly cars so expensive?

Alan: My Grandfather was in the SS and has a leather jacket made jews he killed. Me: Really? Alan: No, i'm korean. My grandfather wouldnt be allowed into the SS.

Q.How Do You Make 7 People Laugh? A.Tell Them a Good Joke.

What the flower say to the bird. Nothing

How many babies does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This site.

Q: Why did the Asian man get fired from his job? A: He sexually assaulted his co-workers

What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas?? Nobody knows because he had no arms, therefore he could not open any presents.

Why did the small 12 year old run away which a chicken. He felt like it and he was carrying bread which the chicken was allergic to.

whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

Billy wanted a toy for Christmas. Sadly, Billy died before Christmas.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...