Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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A jew walks into a bar He receives a phone call and promptly leaves

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? Because Apocalypse arrived and dead people now have the ability to walk.

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One day there was 2 black guys in hoodys with knives in there hand. They tapped me on the shoulder and took my groceries. They then made me a jam sandwich and went on there way

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Pete and repeat are in a boat. Pete kills him self due chronic depression. Repeat laughs his ass off

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How did the guy survive the plane crash? He didnt, He died like everybody else.

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Knock Knock Who's There Trick or Treat!!!

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What did the pear tree say to the farmer? Go harvest that corn over yonder.

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i have no friends actually now i fell bad ... anybody spare money for the bus ahhhhhhh kill me now

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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why did you poop because you are a poop

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a white man a black man and an asian man had a few drinks at a bar. they all died from alcohol poisoning

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(sniff) (sniff) It smells like gross diarrhea in here... (sniff) (sniff) ... Yeah it does

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Two cows are out in a field grazing. One falls over and dies because it was unhealthy and was ravaged with a deadly disease. The other cow, which does not understand death, continues to graze until the farmer moves it back to the barn.

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what will you do if you become a ruler of the world? Waking up, its just a dream GET REAL!

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Why did the cat eat his food? Because he was hungry.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a beer, then suddenly dies of a heart attack.

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A: What did the Orange say to the Mango? B: Sup Hommie?! A: Wtf.... (awkwardly walks away)

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. Then the man pays for the beer and drinks the beer.

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What do you call a black man? A normal human being

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Man: Hey honey! you look mighty fine today! Want to go play some lax? Woman: I'd love to! Thanks babe! Man: Just kidding you are a woman.

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WHO'S YO DADDY? the man who's semen combined with your mother's egg to create a child.

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why did the chicken cross the road? well... to get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops