- Anti Joke

What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

Your Mama's so fat that the Doctor recommended a healthy eating diet, and to exercise daily.

women and girls can really get enjoyment out of sex. it's not really about controlling the man.

What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? - "Get down"

What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

What's white and red all over? A white guy who walked in the ghetto.

Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

What has four legs and a tail? A table with a tail

What did the man say when he found a bar of soap in his mailbox? Why is there soap in my mailbox?

What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

one time, there was this anti-joke.com joke set-up. It was just like a normal joke set-up. was the anti-joke punchline effective, artful of funny at all? no. it was a plain statement of some facts without consideration for humor. it gets old after you read like 50 of them. it gets REALLY. F*CKIN. OLD.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops