Brain fart

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Why can't the orphan play baseball? He can't find home.

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Why do people make fun of Laquesha? Because she's white.

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What should you do if reading the antijokes on this site makes you collapse with laughter? There is no need to worry about this because it won't happen.

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How many dead babies would it take to plug the Fukushima Dai-Ichi nuclear power plant? None -- they are using thousands of litres of liquid glass coagulant instead.

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What separates man from animal? Divorce.

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Why do people waste time reading these jokes. Because they like anti jokes.

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What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

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whats floppy and smells like trout? trout.

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Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

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What do you call three Asian people eating a cat? A tragic last resort for a starving family.

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Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. To collect taxes from the houses on the other side

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A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

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If life gives you lemons, You throw them as hard as you can at the nearest stranger. If life gives you melons, You're probably dyslexic.

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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How do you kill a blind man, run over him in slow motion

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I saw a stray dog the other day So I petted it and got on my way.

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What did the chicken do? He crossed the road.

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One Direction has 12 letters. So does gayyyyyyyyyy. Coincidence? I think not.

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

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Johny got a iphone ipad and a macbook. He bragged to his friend. His friend said, i got an apple.

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Why did the black man die? Kidney Failure.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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