A: What dose God listen to? B: Slayer. A: Trick Question, God=Slayer

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being brutally murdered as you are watching your guts spilling out of your body

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A: Knock knock B:The door is open.

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Q. What you call a Guy with no arms an no legs in the water? A. Bob

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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What did the ant say to the bush? Ernest Borgnine.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse being a horse and doesnt understand english is confused and scared by its surroundings it gallops away knocking over a few tables.

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what came first the chicken or the chips

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The Ohio State Buckeyes

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What did the Apostle John say to Jesus of Nazareth? "Oh, blow it out your butthole."

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I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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roses are red violets should be purple

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

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Two men are walking down the street. They both don't make eye contact and continue walking.

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What did the black kid say to the white kid My parents are slaves

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What did the apple say to the carrot? Nothing, apples don't talk

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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What Did Gretel say to Hansel? Stop having sex with Ariana Grande!

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What's worse than finding a snake in your apple? Finding a snake in your apple

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Simply because he stopped and looked both ways.

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When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

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how come jenny could not fall asleep? their was a man standing outside her window holding a knife

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Why didn't the black boy get any presents from Santa? Because he isn't real.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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