How did the black man get a nice car? He spent 8 years of his life getting a doctorate so he could be hired at a job that will pay for his desired vehicle.

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"Mommy! Look, I found a turtle!" "that's no turtle." "Oh..."

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was an attempted suicide. His family left him, he had been in and out of rehab for a terrible cocaine addiction for over ten years, and was still having nightmares about his abusive past.

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How does Hitler tie his shoes? with little Nazis!

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Johnny fell out of the window. Except he didn't fall I pushed him

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What's the best part about having sex with twenty eight year olds? They've reached sexual peak but aren't yet past it. Plus, they still aren't in their 30's.

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I like your words "He without an equal, also stands alone was it?"

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That`s my friends phone, I can call you from mine too if you want, please just don't hurt me, let me speak to you, I promise I will explain everything.

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Whats worse than getting a splinter? Taking a shower at penn state

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What goes up a hill with four legs and comes down the hill with five? A creepy animal that grows legs when it goes down hills.

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How did the chicken cross the road?he just got up and walked to the other side.

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What happens when a plane with 2500 people on board crashes? There were only 165 seats.

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Q: What did the dragon say to the other dragon A: Nothing they did'nt exicest.

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What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? A bike

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Mary.

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It's not ok to have intercourse with a woman who say's "No!" But what about "Let go of me!"?

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A panda walks into a bar, orders some bamboo shoots, and bamboo leaves, and eats them

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy. But I have Alzheimer's... Hey, I just met you...

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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how many friends does tomas have 0 he is a loner

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Q: How many Jews can u fit in a bathtub? A: Well it depends if you use their ashes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops