When Chuck Norris does a push up, he's working out.

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That's not mine! it's bigger and blacker! ...where have i heard this before?

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How tall is a tree? Taller than the ground

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Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

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Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

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What did Rachel (the columbine girl) get for her birthday?? Nothing she's dead.

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What's the difference between a giraffe and an erection? An erection is much easier to obtain.

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Whats a joke with no meaning? This one

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(Played Basketball for 15 years) I TOLD YOU I'D QUIT WHEN LeBron Gets A RING

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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Q. How many infants does it take to paint a wall? A. Depends how hard you throw them...

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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WHY IS THIS SENTENCE CAPITALIZED? BECAUSE CAPS LOCK IS ON.

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An anti-Semite, a Jew and an American walked into the bar. The barman said: "Hi, Sara".

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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What do you call someone who is bad at hand eye co-ordination? Dispraxic

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Why did the White man scream when he saw a Black man? Because he was scared.

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A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

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I never made a mistake. I thought i did once but i was mistaken

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A priest, a rabbi and Santa walk into a bar. that's a highly coincidental situation.

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AIDS is not a lifestyle it's a choice - and you chose wrong.

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Yo Mama so stupid she thought "Dunkin Doughnuts" was a basketball team.

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Your mother is so fat that she has a very big butt and large breasts, which is quite attractive to some men, especially if they are open-minded.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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