How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms Why couldnt he get up? He had no legs What did the boy get for Christmas? Cancer What did the boy get for Easter? A funeral Knock, knock Who's there? Not the boy.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Your mommas so dumb she had to climb a glass wall to see what was on the other side! But the glass was slippy so she never saw what was on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Knock,Knock Who's there? The Police, Your under arrest for urinating on a toliet.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

how do you know if your friend is your best friend? if he cries you cry, if he laughs you laughs, if he jumps out a window you laugh again.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why is travis so funny? Trick question, He died of cancer 3 years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

You know what rhymes with sloth? Rape.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A man and a bird are on the edge of a cliff. The man falls off and dies and the bird flies away because birds can fly and people can't.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man walks into a bar with a chicken on his head the bartender asks the man why do you have a chicken on your head the man replies the chicken is thirsty

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Many people dont know this about me, but I'm not very famous.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

how do you prevent a chicken from contracting aids?? you make him a little chicken condom.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the guy in the ferrari stop? -He hit the median at 100mph.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Roommate 1: I want to make food but I'm not going to Roommate 2: Why not? Roommate 1: Because I'm tired and lazy.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Three Jews walked into a bar. I lied... it was a gas chamber.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

You know your in Houston when... The highway sign says so.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q: What's worse than not having a good relationship? A: Starving Africans

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops