What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

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roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

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An English man, Irish man and a Scotsman walk into a bar. And have a wonderful evening of multicultural entertainment and fun together.

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Knock Knock [Opens Door]

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Why is the boy sad? He was getting bullied so he later on talked to a teacher and the bully and him settled their differences. The bullied boy still wishes the bully to go to hell.

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What did 4 Year Old Jonny get for his birthday? Death.

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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How do we know that Adam was white? We don't. The Bible doesn't specify the race or etnicity of either Adam or Eve.

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How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

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What grows on trees and is woody? Wood.

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What did Billy Mays eat for breakfast? nothing, he's dead.

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What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

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Go away still nothing to see

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What's the best way to toss a salad? With a salad spinner from the home shopping network.

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what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

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what does this mean: qiwiw98373jeu7e nothing significant, just shows the results of a mentaly disable student

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Yellow People !!

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

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A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

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What do you call a Muslim pilot? An accident waiting to happen

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What do you get when someone tells you an anti joke? An anti joke.

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what did the man say to the person he hates? nothing!

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How often do you remember a dream? Well what if I told you that this is a dream go ahead pinch your arm. You probably didn't feel pain. And just incase jump out a fifth story window. Come on do it. Now if you are still reading this you are either dreaming or didn't jump out the window. Shame on you!!!!!!

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A Muslim walks into a bar No-one survives the blast

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops