A group of cows boarded a spaceship and was launched into orbit around the Earth. It was the herd shot around the world.

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Did you see Helen Keller at the movie theater? I didn't either, she's dead.

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Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

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your mother is so fat that I am concerned that her health is at stake and she may develop diabetes and heart disease

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Do they censor Ass? TESTING TESTING ASS ASS ASS

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How do you put a baby to sleep? Snap its neck.

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roses are gray, violets are grayer, f*ck this poem and listen to the slayer.

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Why do Jew's have long noses? To dig out of the ashes.

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Why did the black man go through the window of the house? He left his keys inside

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What's worse than biting into a worm in your apple? Being run over by a stampede of elephants

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A buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand asks the server to make him one with everything

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What do you get a Jewish boy for Christmas? Nothing he died in 1943!

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Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

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why does chuck norris not have a middle name? because his parents didn't want him to have one.

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What's red and has four letters? A stop sign

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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John has 5 brownies, 3 chocolate bars, and 62 cookies. What does John have now? Diabetes, John has Diabetes

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Did you know: it is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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You're such a retard, you have to take special education, live with a mother that doesn't know what to do with you, not understand the real world, and have people look at you strangely for the rest of your life.

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Your mom says hi!.........Jinks!!!! yeah yeah yeah yeah yeaaaah.

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We are not even in the same country, and my eye becomes infected two times a minute or something so I wont be going anywhere. I mean, if you are some guy trying to be a girl in order to screw with me, let me first of all thank you for our exchange of ideas and concepts, and then say that if you are a guy, that likes other guys, then... Well, lets just say that if you are a man, that I don`t speak with men in general, takes away time I can spend with the ladies.

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Yo momma so ugly, except she's not. She's looking beautiful today.

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Why couldn't Stephen Hawking run a marathon? He was struck by a very serious disease, otherwise known as refrigerator to the face, at the age of 5.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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