Why did the man die when he saw the light? It was a strobe light and he died from an epileptic seizure

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Q: Why was the man eating his foot? A: Because he was a part of the circus.

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If I was a backstabber, you would have been dead already, without me having anything to do with it in the first place, listen, we cannot change the world, those that control the media, control the world. And our role was the opposite, we wanted people to find their individual selves and put their talents for use for themselves and us, today the media tells people who they are, what they like, and what to eat and wear. None of us can do this, point zero is gone, its simply a matter of time, but if you want to try, I can do what I can, in hopes of delaying the inevitable.

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So this guy walks into a bar and– Nevermind it's really not that funny.

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A. Knock Knock B. ... A. Knock Knock B. ... A. DING DONG B. Who's there? A. Me, I tried knocking first but you musn't have heard me, so I rang the doorbell.

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On Wednesday night, a drunk man was walking on the cliffs of dover. his funeral was saturday.

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what cuts the grass on christmas eve and lives in mexico? JP I lied about Mexico jackin it in san diego

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hi im bob i ate a Pickle sucked a boob and died of a haert atak

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once upon a time jess was happy this once upon a time was a very long time ago, BABADOOK !

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What's the difference between a good anti joke, and a bad anti joke? There literally is no good anti joke.

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knock knock whos there **gunshot ...man that gun show next door is annoying

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What did the dog say to the rabbit? I quite liked Prince's first album.

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Whats the difference between Qantas and Malaysia Airlines? Qantas only looses money.

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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here's a joke... the american education society

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Why did the Squirrel swim across the river upside down? To keep its nuts dry.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

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Your mom is so fat she weighs significantly higher then most females of her age and height.

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A boy got scratched by a dog and nearly killed him. When he grew up, a dog came running up to him and started biting and scratching him till he couldn't handle it. Then a plane crashed into him and he died.

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Its a bird!! Its a plane!! No, its a bird.

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Q: Suzy loves apples, she will do anything to get her hands on an apple. Why didn't she eat Tom's apple? A: She ate someone elses apple and then he killed her before she could get to tom's!!!

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Roses are yellow, Violets are purple, im not color blind you just cant read.

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How many women does it take to ski across the pit of lava? None, they would burn and die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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