roses are blue violets are red crap i screwed up dont judge me

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xCh3wyy is the biggest fail in the entire universe. If you head to www.youtube.com/xxch3wyyxx You will see how much he fails. Please dislike his horrible video and tell him to suck a prick.

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What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

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this isn't meant to be a joke, but just letting all of you know, inside jokes don't count and kony jokes aren't funny

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A B C D E F G.... Gummy bears are chasing me 1 is red, 1 is blue 1 is tryin to steal my shoe now i'm running for my life cuase the red 1 has a knife

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Don't you just hate it when a sentence doesn't end the way you octopus?

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What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

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1,000 americans jump off a plane. They all die as a result of not having parachutes.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks the duck "What'll it be?" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck and it can't talk.

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A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

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How did the man break his arm raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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Three Jews are hiding under the floorboards. One of them makes a noise and a second Jew elbows him so he'll keep quiet. They are heard and are all caught. It's now their turn to seek because they are playing Hide n' Seek.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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Customer Service "May I help you?" "Yes."

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i get knocked down, but i don't get up again. my leg is broken and therefore makes it extremely difficult for me to stand up on my own.

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Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

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how do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face

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What should you do if you have a 10 inch penis? Subtly tell the world via an anti-joke

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What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

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What do you get when you mix a black person with an octopus? i dont know. but it sure picks cotton well.

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Where di mary go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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