What do you call an arab with a beard? How cares what his name is just shoot him!

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If Steve has 5 apples and gives Jenny 2, it is obvious they aren't eating oranges.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walked into a prison. A gang stopped them, and said: Hey, want to play a game? Before they could run away, the gang leader told them the rules. You go over there and stand by the wall. You close your eyes, and then we fire a shotgun in your direction. The last one alive wins. They push the brunette onto the wall. She closes her eyes because she knows she's about to die and doesn't want her friends to see her crying. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. They decide it's the redhead's turn next. They move her onto the wall. Being the brightest one in the bunch, she tries to keep her eyes open. However, she blinks. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. Then the blonde bursts out laughing. "Your friends are dead. And you're about to die. Do you find that funny?" They ask. She answers. "No. It's just- I won the game!"

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I can prove I'm a psychic - this post is going to receive a lot of dislikes.

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FRED CLEAN YOUR ROOM! Ok mom, I'm done "Nothing is cleaned" Well.. I tried

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ok, so a blue flower in a meadow dances valiantly, while being watched by a chipmunk. the king of the sky fairies ate an apple and a chicken and a pear, and a cumkwuat and frog legs and a bone and a library and a jeep and fig and a rhino and a sword but fairies don't have that big of mouths to eat all of that, so this never happened

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Why did the rooster cross the road? Because he wanted to prove he wasn't a chicken.

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What happend to the girl who went to school dreased ugly She took the other students advice and whent home and killed her self

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His whole family killed themselves.

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Why was everyone screaming bloody murder? Their home team won

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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I haven't been this tired since the last time I was tired

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Take part of what?

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whats fun about the governement's jokes? nothing, they are actually serious

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Yo mama is so hairy! Then only language she speaks is Chinese

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Q: What happens when two feminists try to chanbe a lightbulb? A: That's not funny.

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What do you call an African American sitting on a park bench? Elephant-man (I forgot to mention, he has a giant elephant trunk)

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Why doesn't a ducks quack echo? Actually, it does, but the echo is imperceptible to human ears.

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what did the boy with cancer get for Christmas a pair of shoes

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It's not illegal, it's just frowned upon... like... masterbating on an airplane.

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how do i know if my husband is cheating? beat him until he tells you

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The Labour Party.

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What did the sad man say to the happy man? He didn't say anything he was so sad he killed himself.

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A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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