What do you call a person trying to rob a store with no arms? Peter Pan

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If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

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One spooky halloween night, three lonely outcasts walk down a dark street, no longer begging for candy. A cold wind blows through the night air and something rustles in a nearby bush one kid walks over to the bush and picks up his dog "OH THERE YOU ARE, BUDDY!"

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A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

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WARNING: this is a black joke Why does everybody hate darth vader? he is all black

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Why did the little boy throw rocks at his sister? ...Because she has cancer.

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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What do you give a gay guy on his birthday? a invition to strait camp

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Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

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two muffins are in a oven the one muffin says jee its hot in here and the other muffin says wow a talking muffin

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well why wouldn't it?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To suck my dick

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue Did you think I'd actually cry over you? I said I loved you You believed it was true Well guess what baby You just got played too! ??????

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"George? I wanna tend da wabbits, George" - Lennie Smalls

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The sword that kills, the sword that gives life.

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What is worse than ending and apple joke in the holocaust? Getting raped by a goat

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What happened when the man went to the bar? He got drunk, drove home injuring a young teen mother, brutally assaulted his wife to the point of death. He's in prison serving 3 life sentences.

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A white guy drives to Home Depot in order to get supplies for remodeling his kitchen. He notices a few Mexicans standing around outside. He decides not to racially profile them and continues on his own business.

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Why didn't suzie eat? Because she wasn't hungry

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What do gay horses eat? Horse dick.

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roses are red, violets are blue, open your legs and give me an hour.

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Why did I get thumbs up from everyone? Answer: Because they like my anti-joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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