How do you write an anti-joke? With the keyboard Or voice recognition software

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roses are red violets are blue me + you =the perfect 2

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How do you know when your pizza is ready? When the oven timer goes off, indicating that it is done.

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The police shouldn't have cars. They should use skateboards and use flowers as their gun. When they catch a criminal in the act, they have to hug him before sending him to prison

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and its killing his family.

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What did you call something that is long, hard and full of seamen? A ship.

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Q.Why was the fat man sweeting A. Because he just ran and his body is trying to maintain thermal equilibrium

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A Texan, a Mexican, a Brit and a Frenchman are on a plane that begins having engine trouble. The black box was never found.

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Whats faster than a mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

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Whats the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? You can't unload one with a pitchfork

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A jew is a human being who will understand and laugh at a joke, while a pizza will just sit there because it is only a delicious thing that people eat.

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How does a guy with no arms kill himself? It's called murder.

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

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Why did i try to write a funny joke? Cuz i was desperately bored.....

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There were 2 strawberries sitting in a bathtub One strawberry said "Hey can you please pass the soap? The other strawberry replies "WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM A TYPEWRITER??"

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whats black and yellow and screams? A bus full of black kids going over a cliff.

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Whats funny and has 2 wheels The holocaust, I lied about the wheels, and the funny

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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Joe Paterno walks into a bar...he should've walked into a police station and filed a report.

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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Roses are red Bob is dead My name is Dave Your a microwave

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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Why do elephants paint there feet yellow? so they can hide in mustard bottles. Have you ever seen an elephant in a mustard bottle? exactly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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