how do you upset an obese cat? you put her in dog sweaters

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Got a card in the mail from my estranged uncle today. Yep.

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Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

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A man walks out of a bar. Gets in his car and crashes because drunk driving isn't safe.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face" and the horse says "my wife just died of skin cancer."

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You: "Ask me if im an astronaut. " Them: "R u an astronaut?" You: "No. "

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What do you get when you mix a teenager with a tanning bed? Cancer

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welcome to australia. *kangaroo kicks you in the gut and you keel over, whereupon you are stampeded by wild dingoes and eaten by tasmanian devils*

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Why were Billy's parents laughing at him? Because he was just diagnosed with cancer!

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What wuld u do for a klondike bar? Nothing taste like shit.

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What do you get when you cross a rhino and a whale? Comment your answer:

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What's big or small, can come in different colors, and would kill you if it was forced inside you? A refrigerator.

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J- Jiggly E- Enormous S- Sad S- Smelly E- Ethiopian

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Why is it okay to have four cats? Because I said so.

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What's the difference between an orange? Two typewriters, because vests don't have sleeves.

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Want to hear a funny story? So, these to kids have cancer...

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Why does Larry the Cable Guy get his own T.V. show??? Why can't I have one of my own??? .......ah...forgot....I'm a minority...

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Every circle of friends has a "crazy one". If you can't figure out who the "crazy one" in your group is... Try harder. Either that or you are a terrible judge of character.

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Q:Why was the black guy carrying a gun A:He's a cop

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A woman walked into a college.....which wasn't suprising because she never learned to read

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To buy more crystal meth to fuel his addiction while his wife and children starved in the public houses.

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What do Michael Jackson and most Catholic priests have in common? They're dead.

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A Chinese man, a Mexican man, and an American man are all on a plane in-flight when the pilot screams over the intercom, "We are two pounds over weight! The plane is going down unless you all throw off useless things that have no value in your countries!" The Chinese man throws out a pair of chopsticks and an egg roll and says, "I have too many of those in my country." The Mexican does the same with a taco and sombrero, repeating, "I have too many of those in my country." The American looks around his items pondering what things are too common in the USA. He locks his eyes on the Mexican. The other passengers are shocked as the American throws off a hamburger and a football.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops