Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

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Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

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How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it.

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A wife says to her husband "Everybody's coming over tonight, I want you to dress nice." *logically this cannot happen because there is no way that this couples residence can fit all 6 or so billion people in the world, nor would they want to.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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What do you call an animal with 4 legs ? A dog...

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Jon walked into a bar. Ouch.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

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hey! have you seen that clown at Walmart that hides from gay people?

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A man finds a lamp in the desert. He picks it up and dusts it off. The lamp becomes cleaner.

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what’s worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? one dead baby in 12 trash cans

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WHat is funnier than a baby swimming. - A baby drowing.!

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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im 14, over weight and spotty! you interested? .... im desperate:)

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Your mamma's so obese that she can't stand up. She's been like this for years. That's because she's dead. She died of cardiovascular-related diseases.

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What's faster, a train or a bike? A horse because a cow gives milk

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why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

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Whats brown and sticky? Shit.

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What was so incredible about this bigger new oven i just bought? It could fit twice as many Jews in it. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops