Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's And add extra pepperoni

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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whate white and cant climb trees? powdered sugar

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Part 1 Q: what did Sally get for Christmas A: cancer Part 2 knock knock Who's there Not Sally MR

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Why did the blonde leave the lamp on while sleeping? Because it helps to see in case you need to get up in the middle of the night. YOU THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO SAY "BECAUSE THEY'RE A LIGHT SLEEPER!" MUAHAHAHAHAHA

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roses are red violets are blue. they both smell like flowers

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Why did the clown's ballon animal pop? He was a victim in a drive by shooting.

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Every time I walk across the street I do the Hitler march and raise my arm straight out to salute him, if I feel like holding up traffic, I take smaller steps

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roses r red violets r blue u jumped in the air and saw a planet to

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Q: What do you call a dear with no eyes A: Nothing - call an animal cruelty service

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Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

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Roses are red, Violets are violet.

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Roeses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, My Name Is Dave, Microwave

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Somebody stole my goat, now I can't enter it in the fair

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What did the fish say to the Asain man Nothing. a fish can not talk

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A lost young boy walks into a bar to ask for a map. The Bartender takes him into a room and rapes him.

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How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Suck its dick.

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"I want a boyfriend for these cold winter nights" ... Shut up you slut go buy a blanket.

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A lot eh?

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How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

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How did the black guy, get a nice car, house, and attire? He went to college, and got a job.

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A white man, a black man, and a Mexican board a plane. The white man watches the on-flight film. The black man watches the on-flight film. The Mexican also watches the on-flight film. At the end of a long flight, they leave the plane and go do whatever it is they planned to do at their destination.

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What's faster than a Mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

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What makes Amish bread different than regular bread? It's made by Amish people

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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