If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

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What's sadder than a lost puppy? A dead puppy.

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Did you hear about the guy who lost his whole left side??? Yeah he's all right now!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to KFC and join his chicken friends to protest.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

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" Want to hear a good anti-joke?! " " Sure! " " Me too. "

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What happens when you forget your parachute as you jump out of a plane? You wake up.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme The end

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what do you call a white man who appears to be standing on water? a surfer

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Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock, Knock Who's There? Not Katie.

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Some black guy grabs a white guys wallet. the black guy says " hey I think you dropped this"

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A guy in mud.

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What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? A cereal killer.

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What red and goes up and down? A tomato in an elevator.

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Do I know any jokes about sodium hypobromite? As a matter of fact, I do. It goes: "Do I know any jokes about sodium hypobromite? NaBrO."

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A mosquito flies into a bar and orders a bloody mary, the bartender then takes out a swatter and kills the pest. Noticing the event, the patrons cheer and continued drinking their frothy beverage. Minutes later, the phone rings and the bartender answers the phone. "Hello?" "Hi, I'm looking for a friend of mine, is he there?" "Let me check, by the way, what's his name?" "Jack Hoff" "One sec. HEY FELLAS(yelling over the noisy bar), IS THERE A JACK HOFF HERE? I NEED A JACK HOFF! ANYONE?" Mr. Hoff, sitting at the bar hears this and asks, "who is it?" "He said he's a friend of yours!" "Which one?" " He said his name's Dick Stroker and he needs help on something hardhe'll meet you around back." "Oh ok, thanks."

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Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said, "What a treasure!" and her father said, "Yea, let's go bury it!"

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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If you're jumping rope, and both the tires are flat, how much frosting would it take cover the staircase? Rocket!

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Why did the platypus have no friends? Platipi are antisocial creatures by nature.

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There was a black and a mexican man in a car. Who was driving? None of them; it was the police driving.

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Why did the boy only have one arm? tigers make terrible pets

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Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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