A kid finds a bag of heroine. He is a good Samaritan and asks the nearest junkie if it belonged to him.

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Snake: YES muahaha Eve eat the fruit from the three of wisdom muahahaha! Why do you not share with Adam? Muahahaha! Snake: Why is nothing happening? Then the sky opened and a heavenly voice spoke: "Well as long as none eats fruit from the three of KNOWLEDGE... Hmm, I better get rid of it altogether..." Snake: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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why is lady gaga so famous? because she has a penis.

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What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

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YOU KNOW YOU'RE AS FAT AS JESSE WHEN... 1. The scales don't go up to the weight you weigh. 2. You know the true meaning of the word Plus-Size. 3. You can't see your feet without sitting down.

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A cat walks into a Chinese restaurant. It is then asked to leave.

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

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What the flower say to the bird. Nothing

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A man walks into a bar. His crippling alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

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What's under there? I'm not falling for that one...

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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What do you call a Jew reading a book in the library? Steve Goldberg. .

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? Actually it's my cookie jar, and my cookies. I stole nothing.

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A friend? Just a friend that you told to stop pretending to be me? And you had no idea whatsoever that I am Nero as in not one of the six hundred thousand wabbabes?

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Twelve billion Nero, you puppy dog you hot blooded latino man. Why cant I control it myself?

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A light bulb is very similar in shape to a pear. So, when you change a light bulb, don't replace it by a pear.

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Q: What's worse then 10 babies nailed to a tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees

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Roses are red, violets are blue, pee pee is yellow, poo poo is brown. if not you have a serious disease...

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what happened to the man who fell off the boat? He died!

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Their was three black men that walked into a bar. They then ordered three drinks and had sex... I lied about walking into a bar

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How do you get a baby to stop crying Cut its head off

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Dyslexic drunk died choking on his own vimto last night

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A: Do you want to hear a joke? B: A ladie not working in the kitchen A: WTF dude thats just terrible

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Why did the legless person roll down a hill? Because he was in a wheelchair

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops