How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Whats similar between an apple and a black guy there is no similarities between them

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What did the boy dog say to the girl dog? Ruff

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Your mama's so fat, that it's ruined her self-esteem.

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What do you call a million pigs jumping out of an aircraft? Bacon.

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A light bulb is very similar in shape to a pear. So, when you change a light bulb, don't replace it by a pear.

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What's the difference between a cult leader and a television personality? On average, 3.2 inches.

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It smells like triangles in here.

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What crawls on the ground and shoots arrows? Legless Legolas.

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How does the cow say cash i dont know ask him he is the cow.

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What's greenish blue, smelly, and mushy? The fungus under my sink.

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What does shit smell like? Your maaaa

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How do you kill a blonde? By inactivating major functions in the body, for example cutting off the blood supply to the brain.

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Why did the whale cross the road? He was being chased by the Japanese.

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why do black people like lotion? because everybody else does.

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Your mother's breath smells so bad that it just doesn't smell very good at all.

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What did the FBI agent say to the CIA agent. We're both agents

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How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

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What did the Hungarian say before he went to bed? "I'm going to bed," but he said it in Hungarian.

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Why did the guy fall into the ocean? He was surfing

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why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

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That awkward moment when... Your mom is a guy.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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