Q: Why did the son of the dad who went fishing with him die? A: Well, he was either eaten by a shark or drowned while being the bait before that.

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One day a baby hit himself on the head with a stuffed animal. I lied, it was a brick, so he died.

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Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

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How do you put 100 kids on a girls face ? skeet

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Q: What did the homeless man get on his Birthday? A: Hypothermia.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding herpes in your apple.

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What's the difference between Little Billy and Ice Cream? People like Ice Cream.

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What's black white and red all over? Steegers.

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Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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Q: which is easier to unload a truck of dead babies or a truck of alove babies? A: dead babies cause u can use a pitchfork

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Two guys walk into a bar together. They are diagnosed with a concussion and later on in life have serious brain issues

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What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

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I'm so stupid that I'm posting on Anti Jokes!

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Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

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What's Green and has Wheels? Ian Leighton... I LIED ABOUT THE GREEN

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

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Chuck Norris and Bane recently had a fight on a bet. The result was Bane won easily as he is the much bigger and stronger man, and Chuck Norris lacks the skills he once possessed as a younger man as he is now 72 years old.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why doesn't Batman exist? Because he was made up.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because, it realized that it was worth something in life, it had a meaning, a purpose, and a right to freedom, to go where it pleased. The chicken's first act of this freedom was to go across the street.

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Why did the old man go to the retirement home? The 75 year old man had a 45 year career in pluming and he thought it was a good time to retire after saving enough money to be happy and he could spend the rest of his life with his wife. The retirement home was also not that far away from his grandchildren so he liked the location and the home was also very clean and the workers seemed very nice. But this was just a visit to see if he liked it, he may live there soon.

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Whats better than giving birth to a disabled son? A Blowjob

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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