Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

what do you call a black man in the bank holding a bag of money. One wealthy man

why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

What did the fat kid eat for dinner? Salad, he's on a diet.

Why did the boy fall of his bike? He's learning to ride and understandably lost his balance.

Why did the black man fall down the stairs? Because he was blind

Rosees are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia and I do too

Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving? The taxi driver.

What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

Two black guys walk into a bar the bartender says get out

What is worse than the holocaust. A worm in MY apple!

What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

Snapple Fact #1 -slaves made life easier

Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

has anybody else just skipped to the short ones

How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender How do you get them out? Straw

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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