A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Did you know, every time you close your eyes, a ghost appears. Once you open your eyes it disappears. PROVE I'M WRONG!?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

So you're flying around in your bathtub, how pancakes to shingle a doghouse? Airhockey, because pizza bagels can't cry.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

how do you delete your joke off anti-joke? you don't.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you find the population of Mexico? Send out a census

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you get when you breed a dog and a cat together? A call from the RSPCA.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you make a lawyer cry? You can't. The production of tears requires a soul, which, regretfully, no lawyer possesses.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? depends on how thin you can slice them.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What happens when you shoot someone? They die.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What does a blond do when she stops at a red light? She gets arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did little Sammy die of boredom? The WNBA was on

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is veiny, turns hard, and has a tip at the end? The male genitalia used as a reproductive organ mainly in sexual intercourse known as a Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

whats worse than not being able to hear? not being able to breath fvd n avt were here

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: Why did the chicken cross the street? A: Because that was the direction it was headed.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why did sarah have to do overtime at work? because i set her house on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A white man a black man a french man and a mexican are on a sinking ship. The French man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of begets over board. The Black man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of red hot cheetos overboard The Mexican man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of Tacos over board. And then the White man says "we have too many of these" and throws the Mexican man overboard

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: What do you get when you throw a piece of bread in the oven? A: 6 million Jews

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: Whats better than not being a Jew? A: Being a Jew.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

If your fighting an octopus on mars how many lamps does it take to repair a dog house? Nine because a toaster cannot ride a bicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Two blonds walk into a building....they couldnt see it.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A Chinese man... pulling another Chinese man in one of those carts behind him.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why can't Lake Mossman find his penis? Because he's a fat ass, and he doesn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops