Why'd the bird in Ohio fall out of its nest? There was a squirrel that was eaten by a large eagle. The eagle then flew to Ohio and died. Then, a large dog grabbed the Eagles corpse and brought it to his owner. The owner then decided to have it for dinner. Inside the eagle, he found the squirrels bones. He put the bones in a catapult, and sent them flying. The bones hit a car and the car slipped off the road and into a river. Then, a whale put the car on its back and swam to the shore. At the shore, the whale got stranded and sadly died. Crabs surrounded the whale and ate it. One crab then ran away and up a tree. It found a stapler and a rubber dinosaur mask and gave it to a chipmunk. The chipmunk climbed up the tree, stapled nuts into the birds eyes and stapled the rubber dinosaur mask to its face, the bird got scared, and then all of the sudden the chipmunk stapled itself to the birds back. The birds family then came and shoved the two out of the tree because they hated chipmunks, and their son Timmy the bird was a disappointment. The bird and the chipmunk fell and died. That is why the bird fell.

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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Bitch your as two-faced as Doduo

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What's slow and spotted? A cheetah, I lied about the slow part

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A B C D E F G.... Gummy bears are chasing me 1 is red, 1 is blue 1 is tryin to steal my shoe now i'm running for my life cuase the red 1 has a knife

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What did the girl say when she was hit by a train? Nothing she exploded on impact

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

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Why did Justin Bieber cross the road? Because the chicken chose him as a decoy.

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Knock knock Whos there Who Who who Don't stutter it was just a joke

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your mamas so fat she tried to hang herself but the rope broke.

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What did the ghost say to the black man? nothing. He just shot him.

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"knock knock" "who's there" "Chuck" "Get out of here Chuck I hate you!"

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what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

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What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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What did the Irishman say to the German? "Sorry, do you have the time?"

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Why couldn't the blonde count to 70? because 69 was a mouth full:)

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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why did the man fall off his bike? someone threw an oven at him

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Whats more dangerous then a man with a gun? two men with guns.

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What do u call a matthew vasquez with a guitar, a one man mariachi band... cuz he is mexican

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woman's rights

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero? Because it is impossible, the answer is undefined.

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John had 50 candy bars and he ate 45 what does he have...... Diabeaties

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Fenestrade De Riguerto sat aloft his might horse Bentereuse and called for his brigadiers. At home his wife was opening a package. 2 minutes later a sound could be heard reverberating across the countryside. It was the invasion fleet from Denarus V wiping out humanity

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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