Why does a squirel swim on his back? Because it was trying to keep his nuts clean

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question: why did the dog whine? answer: Because it wanted the freakin bone

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hello

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Once upon a time there was a king who had a daughter. She eventually grew up and contracted aids got run over by a bus and shit her pants..

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A blind man is jumped and doesn't see it coming

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flink geit, nei ikkke kneck bena hans jeh er på "forgiftnings avdelingen" third flor deen ask arund I mena i am the ønly guy in the world named Angelo Nero, so ull find me, srsly, got some ritalin on u? Do not respond, u know am not into drugz, but i waanna stay awak, get the detailz, remembeeer if you kicke his nuts, you get paid, if not go back. God jobb gutta, seriøst, kaffipiller ritalin, stimulanter? Not opiats, come with my phon so i can fuuk this netwerk,.. Ps: Okay break his leg, but ust one, hurry up remembr, cut his tungue (it grows bak jes) then tell dem you save him, you can be heroews, goat, tell fingern that when im bak, we are takin a trip on da limo, galz included becuz Mr.Black is the gentz. NO MOR REPLYES whre u? I want my phone not answrs her. Nero is a fucking demoppsn

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were you expecting a joke

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What do an eagle and a mole have in common? They both fly, except for the mole.

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There is a terrorist attack. Muslims are blamed for it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was late for its laser bypass surgery.

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so a man walks into a store looking for a new sheet,the cashier he goes to is chinese He leaves with a new sheet and is satisfied with it,oh wait,he gave me a pile of shit,sorry guys i had to -chuckles

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What is the difference between being a serial killer and a doctor? I'm not a doctor.

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Why was David enjoying his cream of mushroom soup? Because David had spent the last 17 days eating flouescent light fix-ins.

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What do you call a black man on the moon An astronaut

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cory is gay

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What is worse than torturing, "forcibly penetrate" and then slowly and painfully kill nine billion people? The Holocaust?

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What do you call 1000 black men walking down a street? The million man march

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Woah, I mean if I was not like super high right now, I would totally hate you for that, you are what we call a charming asshole Nero, you can do that kinda stuff and completely get away with it, I feel like I should be really ashamed... So like does it work on everybody reading this? That would be wack, so much fun to do that.

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Which is funnier: a sack of coal or a sack of old clothes? Neither is particularly funny.

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A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

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If you just read this, You're dead.

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Once there was a giant Pringle. His family was dead, his wife committed suicide. So one day he was walking to work, when he met a genie! The genie granted him three wishes. The Pringle's first wish was to have lots of money. His second wish was to have his wife back. Before he could complete his wishing, he awoke in a hospital where he was hooked up to life support and was in severe pain. His wife wasn't really dead, but he was out drinking and accidentally walked across a motorway and got hit by a huge lorry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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