if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

Doctor: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that your parents survived the car accident. Kid: And the bad news is? Doctor: I have a horrible sense of humor, they're both dead. I'm so sorry.

Roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, others don't

How many licks did it take for the owl to get to the center of the tootsie roll tootsie pop? A: Since when did owls have tounges?

What's the meaning of life? I forgot to write it down.

Theaters say silence is golden... Trap silence in a jar, make millions.

What happened to the kids bike? It broke when he got hit by a bus

how many poeple does it take to change a light bulb? you spelled people wrong.

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

What do mario and luigi have in common They are both plumbers

Why did the Mexican man grow a mustache? It wasn't his choice. Men naturally grow facial hair and he ran out of razors.

What's worst than getting hit by a car. -Getting hit by a truck.

Q: Who was the most famous French skeleton? A: Napoleon bone-apart.

A man walks in to a bar, and the Bartender says "Why the long face?" The man replies "My wife is dying of Terminal Cancer".

why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

What do you call it when the Doctor goes back in time to meet himself? A pair o' Docs. What do you call it when Shaquille O'Neil goes back in time to meet himself? Shaquille O'Neil can't go back in time.

Why is elmo sad? He was brutally raped by Dora :D

How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

What did the man say when he lost his car? Where the fuck did my car go

I wouldn't consider the Titanic sinking to be a disaster, ????It is better down where it is wetter under the sea! ????.

How do you have se with hellen keller? Very sweetly

antijoke is the best website.

Why did the girl fall off the swingset? Because she got hit by a refridgerator.

A man was complaining about not getting enough sleep. He was then raped.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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