what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

What do dragonflies do when they are a couple? One sits on the others head, causing the bottom dragonfly to have a loss of vision, and increases the weight on the bottom dragonfly, which increases the chance of both the dragonflies deaths.

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Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

So Nero, do we tell people your comments are all containing codes and stuff so we can stay in touch?

what did the turnip say to the plum? nothing, as most fruits and vegetables would've said

Q. What do you call Lebron James on a roller Coster? A. A man who makes a lot of money and decided to take his family out on a family fun day to an amusement park.

Why did the blonde woman decide to get plastic surgery? Because she was self-conscious and unhappy with the way she looked.

Why did t chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, knock. Who's there? The chicken

What's the hardest part of the pizza to eat? The motorbike.

What's worst then finding an worm in your apple. Finding a colony of flesh eating bugs after you toke a bite.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra

A blond, burnette, and red head walk into a bar. They sit together and enjoy a few drinks while catching up on eachother's lives.

Why do bats fly in circles? They're mentally retarded.

Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

Knock Knock Who's there? Me ill kill u,

What happend to the man who walked into a forrest? He got raped by a giant vicious mutant spider

A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde go on vacation in Hawaii. They plan to swim to the next island. The brunette and redhead do it with no problem. The blonde swims halfway and realizes she is tired. She continues to swim straight ahead knowing her friends are already at the next island.

My neighour knocked on my door at 2.30am last night, can u believe it? 2.30am? How rude I thought. Luckily I was still up, playing drums.

My Texting Convos: "Heyy!" "Hi!" "Watz up?" "nm hbu?" "Same here!" "Koolio!(: So wrud?" "Nothing. Just texting you!" "Yea! Same! I'm so bored! And tired!" "Ikr!" "Yupp!" *No one answers. When this is what you really want: "I love you soooo much!" "Awwwwh!<3 I loe you too!" "Do you wanna go out?(;" "YES!!(:" "ily<3" "iyl2<3" *convo goes on forever(: Moral: Purple tomatoes are books of yellow buttons on hands(;

A banker makes some poor economic investments with other people's money. turns out the people can never get the money back. the banker walks away like nothing happened. the government does nothing to prosecute the man. Somewhere in there his wife leaves him.

You decide, drink or drive. But don't do all 3 at the same time.

Why did the boy fall off the purple cliff? Because someone cut of his legs and arms and threw him off.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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