why did the chicken cross the road? well... to get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what is the difference between oral and anal? anal makes your day and anal makes your whole weak

thumb_up thumb_down -16

a mexican guy, a jewish guy, and a priest jump off a plane they landed safely and had a great day

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, You Have A Face That Belongs At The Zoo, Don't Worry I'll Be There With You, Not In The Cage But Laughing At You!!! :D

thumb_up thumb_down -16

man 1.have u sen my girl friend man 2. yes man 1. rely man 2. no man 1. dick

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are red Tulips are blue Wait, no sorry That's violets.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the girl cross the road? To get run over by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

You're so ugly, when yo' mama dropped you off at school, she kissed your forehead and called you beautiful.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Reilly and Ross went up to fetch a pale of water when a triceratops turned them into bagels then ate them and later crapped them out....

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man walked into a bar with his parrot, a guy says 'That's a nice pet where did you get it?' 'From africa' The parrot said.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

(sniff) (sniff) It smells like gross diarrhea in here... (sniff) (sniff) ... Yeah it does

thumb_up thumb_down -16

rock crushes scissors, scissors are useless. scissors cut paper, little stips of paper are usless. paper covers rock, structure of rock remains intact.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why did you poop because you are a poop

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the boy fail his test? Because he got shot before he could even study.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He goes to the restroom and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. He goes to the restroom again and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. Guess what happens next? A. He goes to the restroom to urinate B. He buys another drink C. He flirts with a very attractive lady D. Goes home and masturbates

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is the Question to Life, the Universe, and Everything? 43 - 1 = ?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I supported my sisters decision to get an abortion. Still would have been cool to be a dad :/

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the chicken cross the road? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I lied, it was a goat.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

FRED CLEAN YOUR ROOM! Ok mom, I'm done "Nothing is cleaned" Well.. I tried

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do a Mexican and a elephant have in common? Aside from the fact they're both alive beings, they share the same kingdom, phylum, class and the fact of both being alive beings, each other are in constant contact with the environment, they both share affectionate ties with partners of their species, being them from the same family, breeding partner ou even just alive beings of the same especies of each one.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops