Did you hear why the peanut got arrested by walking next to another peanut? One got a-salt-ed

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Why did the guy lose the race? Because he had explosive diarrhea

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Milwaukee? They woke him up.

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Yo momma so fat she couldn't even fit in a house

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Two Chav's jump off a cliff who wins? Neither, the affects of gravity are equal despite the weight of said object.

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? gloves.

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Why did i write an antijoke? Because i can't write real jokes.

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Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

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What does an orange and a lemon have in common? They are both orange, exept lemon

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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There was a bunch of kids on a bus. One boy yelled "Look a squirrel!" Nobody saw it because he's dyslexic

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What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

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So these two guys walk into a bar... Well, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mother a whore.

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what do you call a dead man rolling down a hill on fire, being shot in the head, and strapped to a bomb Dead

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what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

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What's gayer than Justin Beiber? The guy getting a blowjob from him! Kelvin Yang.

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what is worse finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grub in your apple.

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Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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Why couldn't the little boy tie his shoes? He had no arms

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Knock knock: Who's there: Woo: Woo Who: I knew you'd be glad to see me.

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What did the alcoholic tell his son? Don't do meth.

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Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

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How many plumbers does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Plumbers don't do that. Electricians do.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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