how do u wake kesha up? Answer:set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

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What did lil' Suzy do when she got home from school? She was violently mutilated by a bear then continually but raped by a man she met on the Internet. Needless to say, she had a great time. -Harrison

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If you don't see banners here, it doesn't mean they are not there...

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What did the sheriff call the death of a black man who was shot 14 times? -The worst case of suicide he'd ever seen.

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I don't want to hear another joke about female hygiene, PERIOD! -Lets go Mets

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Whats more funny than 1 bomb on 8 babies? 8 bombs on 1 baby.

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how do you wake up lady gaga? you throw her on the ground.

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How do you kill a Chinese hobo Shoot him

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What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus is? Trying not to laugh.

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What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

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Mr Mac reminds me that no matter how hard you try you will always lose your hair

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roses are red violets are blue im much younger than i look;)

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Whats the difference between Sarah Palin and Jason Voorhees? Jason has a chainsaw.

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What do Michael Jackson and most Catholic priests have in common? They're dead.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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There's a black guy, a yellow guy, and a white guy. Which one survives? All of them do. See. I'm not racist!

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why did the baby fall down the steps? Because there was big earth quake that blocked his parents on the other side of the house, therefor leaving no one capable of getting to him befor falling

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What's Green and has Wheels? Ian Leighton... I LIED ABOUT THE GREEN

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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Penis-biter

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A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Not only did 7 have that intimidating look to him, but 6 had recently found out that he was a well known mob boss who also went by the name of Lucky Seven. he was in charge of a gang called The Prime Numbers. They had been terrorizing 6's city for sometime now, whether it was stealing, mugging, or even killing or vandalism. 6 sure had a lot to fear, but he knew things might turn out well, as 6 had a great ability to try his best and do what he believed in: Justice

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Will you please answer one question for me? "Yes" Thank you. -walk away-

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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