What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? The extinction of the human species.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Why did i write an antijoke? Because i can't write real jokes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was simply wandering around and happened to walk from one side of the road to the other.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from ebola

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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What's wet and pink? Bubblegum!

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What did Bob say at Fred's house? "I know where Fred lives."

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Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's going to buy you a another mockingbird.

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Do you know what the worst part about inbreeding is? - It's runs in the family!

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What's brown and red? I lied about the red, it's dirt.

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What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

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Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

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Why couldn't tom concentrate on his homework? Because he was a loaf of bread.

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what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dumpster full of dead babies What's worse than that? One is still alive at the bottom What's worse than that? It had to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It came back for seconds

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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What does Santa give to a naughty child who wants coal for Christmas? Nothing, Santa doesn't exist.

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Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

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Why is the deer afraid of the hunter? Because he doesn't want to get shot.

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A Jew ran into a wall with a boner. He broke his nose first.

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knock knock come in

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Who pushed joe off the building? Nobody. joe hated his life and wanted to die

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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