Why did the boy fall off the purple cliff? Because someone cut of his legs and arms and threw him off.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man crossed the road. A chicken stood in a doorway smoking a cigarette wondering why whenever he crosses the street his motives are always questioned yet men and other animals are allowed to go about their day normally. END CHICKEN DISCRIMINATION NOW!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why do people laugh at anti-jokes? Because of a chemical reaction to a neurological phenomenon that results from the brain's response to external stimuli.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

You decide, drink or drive. But don't do all 3 at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Listen bitch, get over here, let me poke out your fucking eyeball, and then you tell me if it is reasonable or not to fucking be pissed afterwards! As for your goddamn technique, of course I understand it, I use it too, its the ironman method as far as I am concerned. Do not share it with people here, you can go share it with your little "shadow people" but that shit took years to develop. But yeah, you tell me whatever the hell you consider "reasonable" you get me the money, and then we can see about being "reasonable". I know many of your methods, NLP, hypnosis, covert, warm and cold reading, I know you are no fucking psychic nor do you read minds, stop telling me what the hell your "Order" is, because whatever the hell it is, your "Nero`s" have proven on this site alone, that its a laughingstock that in no way could have brought six hundred people towards liking you, even less six millions.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why didn't Tyron run from the police? He had no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: What's the best part of having sex with twenty-seven year olds? A: By age twenty-seven the average person has reached sexual maturity, and has also developed mentaly enough to understand, and subsequently process the intimate nature of an adult relationship.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? Not enough

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How many black basketball players does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're all rather tall therefore they can reach the light source with ease.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Two boys go down stairs on christmas day. They fall and die.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what would happen if you took all the veins out of your body and laid them out tip to tip? you die

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the difference between The Hulk and The Thing? One is green.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

how do you make a clown sad? you push it off a swing.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are red My name is Dave This poem doesn't make sense Potato

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How can you get a hot girl to notice you? Set her baby on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

i just cant stand up to cripple jokes

thumb_up thumb_down +7

My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

WHART++EWEEEEEEEP FLARPEN CARPEN FLARP

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops