Ask me what my favorite color is. What's you favorite color? Blue.

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What's green and has wheels? Nope, it's a car.

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What is red and smells like blue paint? Read paint.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A midget, a nun, and a kangaroo walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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Why was six afraid of seven? Six wasn't. He listens in on women's self defense classes and can deliver a kick to the crotch so hard that it will create for you a new vagina.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? it had vaginal warts

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Why do black people like watermelon? Because it good you racist bastard!

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How do you drown a blonde? hold her head down until she stops breathing

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Q: knok knok A: Im home

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If you dumb fooks keep swearing we are going to get banned.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he was on his wheelchair.

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What did the robet say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. Its funny becuase the robot had no arms.

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Roses are red The grass is green I want you in my bed If you know what I mean.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? he has an iq of 5 like all chickens

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what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

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If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

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A family has been forced out of their house by ghosts. Who are they gonna call?... Their insurance company.

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What did the pencil say to the other pencil? Nothing, pencils do not have the ability to speak as they are an object.

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why did the man fall? cuz he jumped from a building

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How old was the baby when it took its first steps? That question is impossible to answer due to the fact the parents had an abortion and the fetus remained unborn.

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? cancer

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My little league baseball coach measured the team for cups. Its 9 years later and we still dont have those cups.

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why is the sky blue? because your mother blocked your computer to meatspin.com

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops