Relax, anyway I hope its just the not not hypnotic suggestion, it would be really disappointing to to know that you are high on weed, even if it is very relaxing, not that I would know, I tried valium once, it kinda increased that sensation you have tenfold. Anyway, what I meant to say was, would you kindly tell me what size your breasts are? Do you shave down there?

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Why did Lil' Susie leave her blue rain boots at home? Because she had stumps for legs. To attempt to wear them would only hurt her emotionally.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? "Robin, please, get in the Batmobile

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What did one door say to the other door? Nothing, cause doors don't talk.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? ?? She had just prepared her breakfast and was late for her full-time job as a police officer.

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what movie can a retarded 8 year old play the lead role in. Zathura

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Read This line it the tune of "If your happy and you know it" If you're reading this, Do your homework. Sincerely, Your Teacher

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jack. Honey, Jacks here, will you get the door?

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Knock Knock ...Does anybody know how to use a goddamn door bell these days?

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Your mama is so fat, we are all seriously concerned about her health.

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Why didn't the women make her husband a sandwitch? Because she was struck by a car as a young child and was told she could never walk again. Her family couldn't afford a wheelchair so therefore she is bedridden all day.

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How do you wake up lady Gaga? You poke her face

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what happened to the man who got hit by a truck driven by Obama? he died.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a wanted serial killer on the run from the police

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What if algebra teachers were actually pirates, and they're making us find the X so they can search for buried treasure?

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Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

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What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot n' spicy and the other analyzes urine. -Emo Phillips

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Listen Nero, you consider us like friends too right?

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What did the robot say to the boy? Nothing, the robot malfunctioned and started to strangle the boy. The authorities tried to get the robot to stop but robots are too strong. When the robot had killed the boy, it self destructed.

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You want to hear a joke. Sure. A black president. Oh wait...

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Suicide isn't the answer, it's just the solution. -by Ross

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How do you keep a black man inside? Shoot his leg.

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Q. What happened to the dog when he was kick in the privates? A. Nothing he was neutered a year ago.

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What is the difference between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney? One is President, the other is not.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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