A German and an American walk into a bar. George W. Bush got hurt, but Albert Einstein didn't.

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If a banana is a vegetable, how come your mother gets confused when I stick pretzels in my butthole?

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Why did the asain fail his tests? They weren't math tests...

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What's smelly and Dirty? Someone who hasn't shower in a reasonably long time.

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Q: What used to be black, and then became white, and touches young boys? A: Michael Jackson.

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What can bankrupt people buy? Free stuff.

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Knock Knock! Who's There! That's right! And now for our next song: "Magic Bus!" One TwoThree Four.....

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? It entered a KFC and had the unfortunate suprise of having its head cut off.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Jason Oh, ok come in.

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A farmer accidentally trips his wife. She falls down the stairs and the farmer is quickly arrested for murder.

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When the world ends what would be the death toll It would be unknown since every one would be around to calculate it

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When SCUBA diving, why is it important to fall backward off the side of the boat? Because if you fell forward, you would still be in the boat.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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Q. What happened to the women who cut her finger? A. she got staff infection and died.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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What's faster, a train or a bike? A horse because a cow gives milk

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Your mother is so large she finds it difficult to fit into regular sized clothing

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Your mother is so fat that she's more prone to cardiovascular disease than other people who stick to the proper BMI or body mass index

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4 gay men walked into a bar. it was a gay bar. all 4 men had a good time

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How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

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Can you get me a stapler,but make sure it has staples or else I won't be able to staple anything

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops