Your mother is so fat she has to have her clothing specially ordered, this brought her to a massive credit card bill and made your entire family bankrupt.

Guess my favourite fruit. Peach.

Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

Every time I walk across the street I do the Hitler march and raise my arm straight out to salute him, if I feel like holding up traffic, I take smaller steps

What did the empty bar stool say to the one next to him? "You look like you have a lot on your shoulders!"

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

A man walked in to a store and asked for four candles. The storeman brought some fork handles and placed them on the counter. The customer said "No... 'Four Candles' a rather amusing sketch performed by The Two Ronnies, a comedy double act in the 1970s."

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

What does the composer Berg lack? Schoen.

how long does it take chuck norris to watch a 24 hour video 24 hours

One day a young gentleman was walking down the street. He sees a wounded dog laying there on the sidewalk. He goes to tend to the wounded animal. It bites his hand. He rushes to the hospital and tests positive for rabies. The man has to be vaccinated and the dog terminated.

What did the Christian say to the atheist? "Even though we don't share the same beliefs, I think it's great that we can still be good friends."

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

Yo Mama so stupid she thought "Dunkin Doughnuts" was a basketball team.

Bang Bang Get the hell out of the house, it's on fire.

What do you call a Harry Beaver? A beaver with lots of hair.

Two guys walked into a pub... and they totally redecorated it! It was brilliant.

Why did the potato cross the road? It didn't. A potato is a vegetable. It cannot walk, think or speak.

Whats the difference between obama and Michael Jackson? Michael Jackson Is dead

Why did little Timmy scrape his knee? He was launched off of an aircraft carrier.

What does Michael have in common with NASA? Not a lot.

What do you get when you cross a Lion and a Shark? You would likely get trouble, seeing as its both animals are quite dangerous and crossing even one of them is ill advised.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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