How do you get a drugged man, a giant sombrero, and a guitar into a Chuck-E-Cheese? You take multiple trips.

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A man walks into a bar. He is promptly taken to the hospital where he finds out that he may have a concussion.

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Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

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What do you call a german soldier? A Nazi

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Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

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Whats the defination of cruelty

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a person who will soon die of beeties

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Q. Why were the children sad? A. They'd just been abducted by a dodgy old man in a van.

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How do you make a plumer cry? Kill his family

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Why did jasmine drop her shopping? And no its not because she did'nt have arms infact she did have arms she just did'nt have any hands

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Did you hear the one about the koala bear that fell out of the tree? Yeah it died.

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Link ate ink to make him sink.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because KFC was hiring

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I wear my sunglasses at night. I'm always getting into car accidents.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was shot in the head. Plus the fact that it was his first attempt on a bike made it highly unlikely to succeed anyway.

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How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 1: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 2: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 3: Come in.

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1: Knock Knock? 2: Who's There? *runs*

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Yo mama so fat, her Patronus is a cake.

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Why is sally sad her parents abuse her daily

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What do you call an elephant mixed with a rhino? A freak.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge.

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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Well... My reputation is still kinda exaggerated apparently. What you experienced is called astral projection, some people claim it is the same as lucid dreaming, I beg to differ, the difference is vast. You basically just admitted that people believe much more in you, than you believe in yourself, without believing hypnosis does not work, people are like "bah its just suggestions", its true, but underestimating the power of suggestions is a pretty bad call.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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