Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

like most people my age. im 27

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you get when you mix monster, coke, and and seltzer? Kicked out of stop and shop.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Who enslaves small people and forces them to work in his factory all year round in ridiculous outfits. Santa

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Let's go ride bikes!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A black man accidentally walks into a white man......they apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why can't Michel Jackson play chess? He's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Inbreeding is really funny if you think about...

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A my dog was a rappa. He recorded a hit. But it had no lyrics, because he is a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

thumb_up thumb_down +23

When life gives you cancer, make cancer-aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, He cracked his skull and died on impact. He will be missed.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

thumb_up thumb_down +23

An Iranian, a Mexican, and an American are on an airplane. The plane is too heavy to take off, so to lighten the load, each person has to throw off something their country has a lot of. The Iranian throws off a nuclear bomb. The Mexican throws off a sombrero. The American throws off an apple pie.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's worse than a rapist? 2 rapists

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops