Why was little Timmy mauled by a bear? He poked it with a pointy stick.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He didn't say anything because ducks can't talk.

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A fat guy!

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-Is this the Krusty Krab? -Yes, how can I help you?

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Why did the father leave work early on his son's birthday? He was rushed to the hospital after facing a severe heart attack due to a history of cardiovascular disease in his family.

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what does a buttler put in a closet ? stuff.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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What do you call a Mexican? Whatever his name is you racist.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

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Why did the computer explode into a million peices? It was thrown off the Empire State building.

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The blond detective was searching a crime scene and replied to the police officer, "I smell something fishy about this situation." She was on her period as a matter of fact, and bled all over her trousers.

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you got Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, and Reese Witherspoon. Which do you think is more succesful

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Christmas presents.

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What do you give the person who has everything? A 20$ gift voucher

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Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

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Why did the accountant die?A terrorist put a bomb under his desk.

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There's a black and a mexican guy in a car. Who's driving? The chauffeur.

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A man accidentally chops his thumb off while preparing his dinner for the night. He immediately calls an ambulance and has his thumb preserved which is later reattached back onto his hand. He then continues his dream career as a solo pianist.

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If I could rearrange the letters of the alphabet.... dklaujeo bnvalue doiandkluq!!

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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yo mama so dumb... because she was not properly educated

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womans having rights.

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What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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