What do you do when a burglar breaks into your house and tries to kill and rape you and you family? Nothing, he as an AK-47 and shoots you all dead and then has sex with your corpses.

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What's difficult and tedious to do? Trying to find a joke with 0 thumbs up/down -Sykes

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What happened to the black guy that rammed his ankle against the bed frame? Yelled profusely until it stopped hurting.

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Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO? A: One is a human while the other is an unidentified flying object.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Because 6 was registered as a sex offender

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Why was it really gross when the blonde dove into the swimming pool? Because the swimming pool was full of phlegm!

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You wanna pop a bottle? I hope you are referring to bottles of water as I am underage and I refuse to partake in any said consumption of alcoholic beverages

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Jim Jim who? Oops, wrong house.

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You mom is to dumb when she herd about Walgreens she thout all the walls were green

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what did the obese kid get for chistmas? an athsma attack ,which led to death.

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Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

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Why did the Jewish man bend down to pick up a penny? Because he had dropped it and required the penny as part of his payment for his food.

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What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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roses are gray, violets are grayer, f*ck this poem and listen to the slayer.

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I'm attracted to you like the earth is attracted to the sun. With a force that is inversely proportional to the distance squared.

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"You can't get past" "I'll get future" dad cri mom cri boy bang girl girl cri women's rites sholdnt exist.

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Three penguins sitting in a tub. The first penguin says to the third penguin, "Hey would you pass the soap?" The penguin in the middle says, "What do you think I am a typewriter?"

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Why is 5 the best number? Because it's alive!

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Rarity: "So, what is that splendid frock of yours saying?" Maud Pie: "It doesn't talk. It's a dress."

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What characterizes a good joke? The lack of a punch line.

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Why could'nt the Jew drink milk? He was laptose intolerant.

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Whats the difference between a man and a cat. There both different species.

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Guest what in the butt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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