A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did he chicken cross the road? The suicide rate in chickens has gone up 50% in the past year alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was the Magic: The Gathering player a virgin? Because he was underage and it would have been immoral for him to have had sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Can you spot the polar bear Probably not because global warming killed it

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the 12 year old boy get for Christmas? Herpes

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a black man riding a bike? A hard worker, he saved up his money for weeks trying to buy a bicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who practices the Jewish religion. A pizza is an italian dish consisting of dough, cheese, and tomato sauce.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Man: Hey girl for a minute there I thought I had died and gone to heaven, but now I realize that I am very much alive, and that heaven has been brought to me. Girl: No actually you were right the first time we are both dead right now.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Black people are like jelly beans. Nobody likes the black one's.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do Yankees fans cheer for their favorite sports team? Let's go Yankees!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Hey babe, did it hurt when the doctor cut off your umbilical cord when your mother gave birth to you. Because I have a bellybutton too!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why do ducks fly south for the winter? because its to far to waddle

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did Michael Jackson say to the little boys before they came to his house? Get on the ferris wheel

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than the holocaust? Two holocausts.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Which way do 5 gay guys walk? Depends on where they're planning to go.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you fit an elephant inside your car? I don't understand why this task would even need to be performed. I have never arrived anywhere in my car and thought "Sure could use an elephant right about now..."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

caoimhin is a dorty carrot

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the girl with cancer get for her birthday? Hairspray.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops