How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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I am green. You are blue. Jokes are infinite. This is too.

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When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

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Q: whats white and smells like shit A: my ass

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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Why was the man crying? He just got called and the doctor confirmed he had AIDS.

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Two black guys are in a car. Who is driving? One of the black guys.

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why do police kill so many young black men in America? it's a difficult question that deserves a thoughtful response. many complex issues are at play, but we also feel a sense that something must be done. we cannot ignore some of the forces at work here, yet we cannot all personally take responsibility, either. or maybe he wanted to steal his girl. that shit really happens. THAT SHIT LEGIT HAPAPNES.

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whats floppy and smells like trout? trout.

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Today, my house burned to the ground. FML.

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Whats worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

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Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

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How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

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Joseph Coney could die... or worse... he could do anything but that....

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Why did the flight attendant look scared every time every time she saw a muslim get on the airplane? Because her family got murdered in front of her before she came to work

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

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What do you call a black man who flys an airplane? A Pilot

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today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

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Knock Knock. Whose there? The IRS. All your base are belong to us.

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I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

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What does "Ford" stand for? Nothing. It's the name of the company founder, not an acronym.

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A bloke walks into a bar. He doesn't say 'ouch' because it was a public house and not a hard surfaced object as you may have thought initially

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Q: What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by 2 giant scorpions, a fridge, some potatoes and a hule bunch of worms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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