Why did the serial killer need the knife? He needed to butter his bread

Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

What do you call a deer with no eye? No eye deer ( get it, it's like the red, necked southern speaking states )

Yo momma so ugly..... what more do you want

Coke or Pepsi? Trick question, beer.

A girl is talking with her boyfriend - God, you're selfish!!! - No, i sell meat.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not intelligent enough to realize the hazardous dangers of crossing the street.

How did the thief acquire a lamborghini? He has a side job as a lamborghini salesman.

Why doesn't Michael Jackson play with my brother anymore? Because he's dead.

What do you call a black man running really fast down a street? Active.

I enjoy Popcorn

What did Reed read? A. Read?

Why did the boy throw his alarm clock out of the window? Because he was angry at the alarm going off

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless your father is a doctor and you live with him.

What do you call 17 blondes standing in a row? most certainly not Charles because it seems as though it would be incrediblely unlikley that a girl would be named Charles

Why did the man have a heart attack? Because he suffered from high cholesterol and cardiovascular disease.

Knock Knock Who's there? The Holocast ...

What do you call a guy that just shit himself? Me

Q. How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? A. Who knows? It's dark!

Roses are red Violets are blue I like peanut butter Can you fly?

Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

What's the difference between video games and a naked chick? The Holocaust.

yo momma so fat, Bob's furniture store is having a sale on wednesday at 5:00.

chickens, roads, horses, bars,roses, violets, sally, knock, knock, fnord

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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