Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man walks into a bar. What does he say? Ouch!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Studies prove that bald people have no hair?.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Your momma's so fat, people make jokes about her.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Gus's mom

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The guy didn't respond because he was deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call the man with no arms or legs, swimming in the bay? Bob.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Crime in a hen house. All hens killed. Police found the suspected fox quickly and asked him if he have done it. No - he said. But it was him.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do u call 2 black people in the front of a car 3 in the back and 2 on top of the car going off a clif? A waste u can fit 2 more in the trunk

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A: What dose God listen to? B: Slayer. A: Trick Question, God=Slayer

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Did you go swimming in the Carribean Ocean? Yes, a shark ate my body, and killed me! Thank God I'm still alive!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

a white guy walks into a bar luckily he is not an alcoholic and knows when to safely stop drinking and already gave his keys to a friend.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's worse than a fake bomb? Do I really have to answer that?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the apple say to the carrot? Nothing, apples don't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock knock Who's there? Owl Owl who? Owl Johnson, your neighbor. Oh hi Owl, please come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Gary.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the ground beef taste funny? Because little Timmy fell in the grinder.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Your mom is so fat that her every day life if a struggle and she has to get gastric bypass surgery or else she is going to die

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you get dislikes on anti-joke.com? You can dislike your own post from several different IP addresses.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why did miles cross the road? Because hes gay

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A pirate walks into a bar with a wheel on his crotch, and the bartender says, "What's that?" and the pirate says, "A deadly tumor."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

One I grabbed a lump of coal, and crushed it with such strength, that a human being was born out of it. That man is today known as Chuck Norris. Nero.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops