what can keep u alive for many years- -not being shot

thumb_up thumb_down +5

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN cil you have such a dirty mind

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many Santa Clauses does it take to change a light bulb? Santa Claus isn't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a fat ginger kid? Whatever his name is.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you discover a gay snowman? If the carrot is in the ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is stupid, black and high? A stupid black kite.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Monkey. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why couldnt the jew play basketball? He was handicapp

thumb_up thumb_down +5

"Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pepper" "Like the drink?" "Huh... yes... just like the drink" Would you mind to sit right here Mr..... "Nike" "Oh, just like the shoes" "How do you dare!"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A guy went to McDonalds and asked for a cheeseburger: —Can I have a cheeseburguer? —No

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What should you do if you have a 10 inch penis? Subtly tell the world via an anti-joke

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Where do you8 find a dog with no legs? right where you left it

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A horse walks into a bar. The horse says "why the short face?"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the jewish man say to the Irish guy at the bar? Are you Irish?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What's one thing that 5 out of 6 people always agree on? A: Gang Rape

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you make an Indian explode? Push the red button

thumb_up thumb_down +5

1,000 americans jump off a plane. They all die as a result of not having parachutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? No seriously, I don't know because we've only just got electricity in our village.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats grey and kills people, Terminal cancer,I lied about the grey color

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Big feet on a man means he has, Nothing, a man's foot size has no relation to the size of his penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

John had 50 candy bars and he ate 45 what does he have...... Diabeaties

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops