Neither have I

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man......they apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

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What did Al gore say after he sold his TV Station to Arab Oil Money? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. CHA-CHING!

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Two cats are sat on a window ledge. One cat looks to the other and says "Meoww".

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What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

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knock knock go away

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What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

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Q why did the girl scream A she got hit with an axe

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy? One has a slightly darker skin complexion

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Knock knock! Who's there? Girl Scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

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I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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The cow's name was Friday, But can you guess what day it died? Monday, it had a fun weekend with its family before it was brutally slaughtered.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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has anybody else just skipped to the short ones

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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AAAnd that did not totally send a rush of sweet endorphin's up my spine, I think myself of as really really blunt, I value individualism rather than complete assimilation, I think that, if people want to hear my opinion, they ask me, and if they want to hear what they want to hear, they can ask... Pff, anybody else. I end up insulting a lot of people literally asking for it, but moments like these make it all worth it. I am also extremely superstitious, the catchphra states "Grain of salt" so I wont take your comment completely... I am just screwing around...

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A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was dead. Why'd the other monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was stapled to the dead monkey!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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