Little molly says she wants to have a baby when she grows up because her little baby brother died of ta-sacs 6 months after birth.

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What did the pillow say to it's owner? Nothing. Pillows are not able to talk.

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What's worse than falling off a horse? Falling off a cliff.

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How do you tell a bunch of Chinese people apart? Go up to each one and ask them their first and last names. The chances of any of them being the same is quite slim, giving each person their own identity.

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Your mom is so nerdy that she probably went to college, got her degree, then found a very successful job in a field that she finds interesting.

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What do a tree and I have in common? We would both be mad if we got turned into paper.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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Your mom is so dirty, She smells.

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How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

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Q. Why couldn't Billy see the pirate movie? A. Because his mom didn't let him.

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A man runs into a bar, sits down in a hurry and demands a beer from the bartender. The bartender looks at him wearily, but shrugs, pours him a beer and sets it down in front of him. The fat naked man then drinks the beer and leaves.

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An American, a Mexican, and a black guy all walked into the same bar. Why did the 'BEWARE OF METAL BAR' sign have to be in japanese?!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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whats worse than having ants in your pants? getting sotomized by a lightsaber

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knock knock. who's there? Kony. Kony who? Kony says:" Uganda be abducted"

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You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am colorblind because Iam a dog.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it ran away and it's coop was on the other side of the road

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Why did dallin fall off the swing he got hit by jds big penis

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Why did the Mexican man grow a mustache? It wasn't his choice. Men naturally grow facial hair and he ran out of razors.

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What's brown and smells like shit? An oddly shaped birthmark on a dirty homeless man

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Why can't you lie to atoms? Because they make up everything!

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What's green and has wheels? The White House. I lied about everything, I'm so sorry.

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What's the difference between cancer and my grandmother? She doesn't have cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops