whats the difference between a frog and a toad ones a frog

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Why is the baby on fire? Because there was a gas leak at the day care facility. It would have been a terrible tragedy had a heroic babysitter not come to the rescue.

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OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruising at about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, the cops were waiting. He was found guilty in court and forced to pay the blonde a settlement of $250, 000.

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Why was the man so fat? Because he is in a wheel chair and can't exercise.

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Q: What's worse than finding out you have genital herpes? A: Finding out your grandmother gave them to you

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What did the blind man say to the mentally challenged man when he bumped into him? Watch where you're going, retard.

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what is sadder than lost in a ps4 game ? Your mom's funeral, she died in a horrible accident yesterday

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Don't you hate when you finger your belly button and your nipples exploed?

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How do you stop a black person from drowning?.. Take your foot off his head

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what did the oven say to the firdge you hot baby

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Dam. Mothers Against Dyslexia.

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Safety in numbers? Try telling that too six million Jews.

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How does a black man get down the stairs? He walks.

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Two elves walk into a bar. The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

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Why did the water in the lake disappear? There was a toilet at the bottom.

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What do you call a Welshman with a stick up his arse? A very odd man

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What do Michael Jordan and LeBron James have in common? They both have won NBA championships...except for Lebron.

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wat does T.J.C.S. Mean? leave an comment to answer

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What do you call a baby with no arms or legs? You call a lawyer, and be sure to have him ask the mother if she took Thalidomide during pregnancy.

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Fuck off, seriously, if your name is Tifa, my name is bah, I got better things to do.

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what's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? when you slap a mosquito it stops sucking:)

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Why from a friends phone? I demand a full explanation, here, you got my number, you got my home address, and who the hell was that crying little bitch on the phone? I got friends in the UK which owe me some money, and nothing to lose, if I have to take care of you before you take care of me and even possibly my wife in the crossfire, I will take you down and everything in my path! Moral: Got ya!.

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Whats better then free candy from a guy in a van? Trying to find his lost puppy so his kids don't cry.

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Did you hear that the actress, Reese what's-her-name, got stabbed to death? Witherspoon? No, with a knife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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