Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

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Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

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This time I saw it, so that is covert hypnosis, I mean normally people are aware that they are under a trance, but like now it was like huh? Until the last point there. You used caps in order to make it seem as if you where shouting, the mind reacts that way and bam! The hypnotic state leaves... ...I was kinda beginning to enjoy that... Nice, now I totally do not want to eat this thing, strawberry my butt.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Getting raped by a hose

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Why did the mexican cross the street? Because the next lawn to mow was in a different neighborhood

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Some people devote their to talking in their head. Jesus christ.

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I met her back in the 80s when she was a man.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 beat the crap out of 8.

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Roses are red, Violates are blue. I have an erection, and its lasted more then three hours

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Chuck Norris was so famous we was casted for the show Walker, Texas Ranger

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Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

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A panda walks into a bar, orders some bamboo shoots, and bamboo leaves, and eats them

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't eat your friends Nose it is!

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Knock knock! Who's there? Hitler, time to shower!

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The song Barbra Streisand has more than 2 words.

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What did Jesus say to the jews? Fuck you.

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What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

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Whats worse then getting AIDS Math class

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

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What do you call a group of Mexicans jumping over a fence? I heat of runners trying out for the Mexican Olympic hurdle team.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because he couldn't get his dick out of the chicken

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So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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