Why did the girl run over the road? Her buttons rolled to the other side! (From a book called... Al-capone does my shirts) (Natilie)

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why cant ben cry, because i gorged his eyes out with a popsickle stick.....

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What did the apple say to the other apple? Nothing, apples are fruits and cannot talk

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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A brunette, a redhead, and a blond are all stuck on an island 100 miles away from the nearest civilization with no resources. After 2 weeks, they decide that no one is going to save them and they have to swim for it. The brunette swims 25 miles and then gets eaten by sharks. The redhead swims 75 miles and then drowns. The blond swims 99 miles but got tired, so she swam back.

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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth? Stuck

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Who's Juan? DIS ONE

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What is funny about a cod swimming around alone in the ocean? Nothing, over-fishing is a huge problem in the modern day.

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Henry VIII: I need another wife!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thomas Wolsey: All right then. How about my nan? Henry VII: I'm dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :~D

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Person A - you must be tired, cuz you've been running though my mind all day Person B - i have no legs...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenic, and don't have any friends

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Why is Lindsay Lohan out of prison? No, I'm asking.

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Why was Charles bleeding, because he was stabbed in the head with a needle

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how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

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Roses are red Violets are Blue Let's just screw

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Knock Knock? Come in.

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What has Whitney Houston got in common with a spider? They're both black and they can't get out of the bathtub

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why was kade sad? he shit himself

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whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whroe whore whore whore whroe

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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-Knock knock! -Who's there? -DEFAX.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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