Why did the old lady talk to a tree? She had Alzheimer's and was going to die.

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A car with four Mexicans drives off of a cliff. What's the bad news? They were my friends.

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drugs.

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Knock knock Who's there? To To whom? No, its To Who now, since I married

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Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

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Coach walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, i can't serve you. You aren't wearing pants. Coach says "put it on my bill."

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how much swag could a swagchuck chuck, if a swagchuck could chuck swag?

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whats better than a girl getting hit by a car? a girl getting hit by a car with my dick in her

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What did the leperchaun get at the bake sale? baked goods.

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What's funnier than 100 dead babies? Everything.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Two black guys were walking down a street to meet up a local drug dealer. Turns out the black guys were undercover cops who arrested the drug dealer and both recieved awards for finding the criminal.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Scientists are still unable to fully understand the brain functioning of chickens enough to comprehend their motives for doing such a thing.

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What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

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What is orange and smells like oranges? Oranges.

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How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

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A blone walks into a bank in New York City and asks the bank teller for a $5000 loan because she's going to Mexico for 2 weeks. The bank teller said he would need some security for the money. The blonde tells him her new Rolls Royce is in the parking Lot and she hands him the keys. The blonde gets the money and goes on her trip. Another employee at the bank then parks the car in the underground parking garage. He later ffinds out the blonde is a multi millionaire. When the blonde arrives home from she pays back the $5000 and $15 interest. When the bank teller asks her why she gave them a $250000 car for security or needed the $5000 loan if she was a multi millionaire, the blonde answers, "Where else can you park your car in New York City and expect it to stillbe there when you return?"

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A brunette, redhead, and a blond were on a road trip when their car broke down in the middle of a desert. The red-head offered to walk down the road to get help, for none of them knew how to repair the car. She walked down the road in the direction they were headed, but never came back. The redhead and blond died several days later in the shade of the car as a result of extensive heat exhaustion.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

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Okay, you seem sincere enough, thing is that I trust you, but your buddies, if you can vouch for them, then I at least know that you are putting your stepmother in danger if you decide to cover for your friends, besides you being such an emotional crybaby kinda gets me into trusting you again.

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Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

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Can a match box? No, but a tin can.

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When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops