- Anti Joke

A tall German man and a short Ukrainian woman walk into a pub and sit down for a drink. The German, not wanting to seem rude, asks the Ukrainian how her day has been. The Ukrainian smiles confusedly as she doesn't understand German.

What do elves get for Christmas? Overtime.

Joker: Why so serious Man: My mom and dad just got hit by a car, and you just stabbed my friend in the face with a pencil. Joker: Oh well im sorry to hear that.

Ask me if I'm a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

A black man and a Mexican man are in the back of a car. Who's driving? Not enough information to answer this question.

Why did the man open up a umbrella? Because it was raining..

What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

two paraplegics walk into a bar. oh wait...

Yesterday, upon the stair, I met a man who wasn't there. I saw him there again today; I've been sectioned. [L]

Chuck Norris farted and... several people looked around uncomfortably, not knowing how to react to the embarrassing situation.

Yes!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!! Yes!!!

whats worse then a child with a dead mom? the baby is still inside.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game...

Despite their parents wishes, two teenagers under the age of 18 tried multiplying. Their answer was 27.

So a blonde a, a red head, and a brunette crash land on an island, they all died within a week...

Whats blue, flies with wings, weights over two tons, and has a rocket engine with six eyeballs? hayball rolls Moral: Im the one asking you...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

Why did the boy not answer his mums call? because he was dead

what can't see and has four eyes? a blind kid born with four eyes

What does Santa give to a naughty child who wants coal for Christmas? Nothing, Santa doesn't exist.

What do you call a Gay leprechaun? A homosexual ginger man with a pretty green outfit.

how do you get expelled? Rape a special ed kid.

A tall German man and a short Ukrainian woman walk into a pub and sit down for a drink. The German, not wanting to seem rude, asks the Ukrainian how her day has been. The Ukrainian smiles confusedly as she doesn't understand German.

What do elves get for Christmas? Overtime.

Joker: Why so serious Man: My mom and dad just got hit by a car, and you just stabbed my friend in the face with a pencil. Joker: Oh well im sorry to hear that.

Ask me if I'm a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

A black man and a Mexican man are in the back of a car. Who's driving? Not enough information to answer this question.

Why did the man open up a umbrella? Because it was raining..

What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

two paraplegics walk into a bar. oh wait...

Yesterday, upon the stair, I met a man who wasn't there. I saw him there again today; I've been sectioned. [L]

Chuck Norris farted and... several people looked around uncomfortably, not knowing how to react to the embarrassing situation.

Yes!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!! Yes!!!

whats worse then a child with a dead mom? the baby is still inside.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game...

Despite their parents wishes, two teenagers under the age of 18 tried multiplying. Their answer was 27.

So a blonde a, a red head, and a brunette crash land on an island, they all died within a week...

SHUT UP JP

Whats blue, flies with wings, weights over two tons, and has a rocket engine with six eyeballs? hayball rolls Moral: Im the one asking you...

Neither did she.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

Why did the boy not answer his mums call? because he was dead

what can't see and has four eyes? a blind kid born with four eyes

What does Santa give to a naughty child who wants coal for Christmas? Nothing, Santa doesn't exist.

What do you call a Gay leprechaun? A homosexual ginger man with a pretty green outfit.

how do you get expelled? Rape a special ed kid.

A tall German man and a short Ukrainian woman walk into a pub and sit down for a drink. The German, not wanting to seem rude, asks the Ukrainian how her day has been. The Ukrainian smiles confusedly as she doesn't understand German.

What do elves get for Christmas? Overtime.

Joker: Why so serious Man: My mom and dad just got hit by a car, and you just stabbed my friend in the face with a pencil. Joker: Oh well im sorry to hear that.

Ask me if I'm a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

A black man and a Mexican man are in the back of a car. Who's driving? Not enough information to answer this question.

Why did the man open up a umbrella? Because it was raining..

What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

two paraplegics walk into a bar. oh wait...

Yesterday, upon the stair, I met a man who wasn't there. I saw him there again today; I've been sectioned. [L]

Chuck Norris farted and... several people looked around uncomfortably, not knowing how to react to the embarrassing situation.

Yes!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!! Yes!!!

whats worse then a child with a dead mom? the baby is still inside.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game...

Despite their parents wishes, two teenagers under the age of 18 tried multiplying. Their answer was 27.

So a blonde a, a red head, and a brunette crash land on an island, they all died within a week...

SHUT UP JP

Whats blue, flies with wings, weights over two tons, and has a rocket engine with six eyeballs? *hayball rolls* Moral: Im the one asking you...

Neither did she.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

Whats blue, flies with wings, weights over two tons, and has a rocket engine with six eyeballs? hayball rolls Moral: Im the one asking you...