Why did the black person jump the fences? because he was in a relay race.

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Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you smoke, the blacker your lungs get.

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What does a cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? Procedes with his long difficult hunt to find another companion who accepts him for what he is, without the fear of being eaten.

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What is brown, white, and red all over? A part asian part white guy covered in blood after having her girlfriend have her period while they were having sex in a club in alaska near a military school that was abandoned and is now haunted but justin bieber took care of that.

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how do you make a cripple depressed? stairs..

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What do you say to a homeless man sat in a train station? That there is a homeless shelter around the corner.

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A woman who lived alone with her parrot left her apartment to run to the store, forgetting that a plumber was scheduled to come and fix her sink. A few minutes later, the plumber arrived and knocked on the door. The parrot inside called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, "it's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waited for a bit and, seeing that nobody was coming to the door, knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, a little more loudly, "it's the plumber! I've come to fix the sink!" Again the plumber waited. After a few more minutes, he knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber yelled, as loudly as he could, "IT'S THE PLUMBER! I'VE COME TO FIX THE SINK!" Still, nobody came to the door. The plumber banged the door repeatedly, The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screamed "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIIINK!!!" and then, consumed with rage, clutched his chest and fell over dead from a stress-induced heart attack. A few minutes later, the woman returned home and, while opening her door, noticed the plumber lying dead in her hallway. She looked at her parrot and asked, "Who is it?" The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?"

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roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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What's worse than killing 6,000,000 Jews? Killing 6,000,001.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh good I thought you wouldn't make it.

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Q: Whats different about pizza and jewish people? A: Pizzas don't scream in the oven.

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Old Macdonald had dyslexia IE IE O

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Why was a mother crying at a hospital? Because a bird threw a stick at her five minutes ago.

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How do you spell orange? O-R-A-N-G-E-U-D-U-M-B-A-S-S

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What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Ambulance. Ambulance who? Sir, we're going to need you to come down to the hospital, your son is dead.

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A duck walks into a grocery store. He looks at the shopkeeper, who then grabs a broom and shoos him back outdoors.

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Patient: "Doctor, my arm hurts when I poke it with my index finger." Doctor: "That's because your finger is broken."

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A man is at the doctor's office and the doctor says to the man: "I'm sorry sir, you have AIDS and Alzheimer's disease." The man says: "Well, at least I don't have AIDS!"

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "I'm going to kill everyone you've ever loved you fucking cocksucker, you think you can get away with sleeping with my wife? You better think again kiddo I will take away everything from you until you are reduced to a smoldering ruin of what you once was, mark my words bitch."

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my mom texted me telling me that my dog died... then she texted me the letters LOL... i texted back asking wat was funny!? she thought it ment 'lots of love' :p

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How many midgets does it take to change a light bulb? If you do the math, it's probably one.

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So theres a Black guy, White guy and Mexican guy all sitting at a bar. They were friends.

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Why didn't the man go to work on Friday the 13th? Because he was unemployed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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