Me: What postion in baseball does a cat play? You: I don't know? What? Me: I don't know i haven't eaten that part yet.

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what did the dog say to the cat nothing because dogs can`t talk and if they could talk the cat wouldn`t understand him because cats can`t talk

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Roses are red, violets are blue; So give me head, or I queue you!

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What does a blond do when she stops at a red light? She gets arrested.

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Roses are green violets are brown wait a minute..........my shoes untied

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What do silly people in a monastery say? stop munkying around.

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Hollywood today: If you Like Dragonball Evolution you are gonna love this. Peter Linkoff a 16 year old boy, is being chased by his half brother Jack Ganonbad as Peter Falls into a hole, which contains a cellphone... ...THE LINK TO PLANET ZELDA! There he discovers that he holds the Link between earth and Zelda, and just then planet Zelda is threatened by The Evil Master Sword! A Meteor so destructive, that it sheer force could destroy the entire universe! *Random scenes going by so fast that you cant make shit out of them begins* "PETER LINKOFF YOU ARE IN DANGER!" *BOOOOOOM*" "BUT WHAT IF HE IS NOT THE DELIVER OF THE BOOMERANG!" Iiiit is said... Thhaat heee that wields the lasergun known as the wooden sword...<

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It's The Only Crayon The illustrator had?

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Charlie, Charlie the drunk guinea pig! OUR BEST FRIEND!!! Angel Charlie: I'm already dead yah poof!!! Butt cancer killed me.....

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Why did the black man jump off the cliff? Well , you see, this black mans name was yargle, and during his high school years, people always made nicknames for him some of which were fat yargle, yargaryar, and bottomyarg. He thought to himself that wanted revenge, So he killed the entire population of earth. Oh ya, and since he was the last human, wirhout possibility of reproduction, he went to the store and bought a can of soup

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

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Why did Harry Potter go to meet Professor Lupin? --Because he wanted to practice casting his Patronus

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Why did the war end? Because one country surrendered. They were getting beat pretty bad, it seemed like the only viable option.

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There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim are on a plane to France. When they arrive in Paris one will go visit a friend who recently found inspiration in the many magical streets of the city and is in the middle of a year abroad. Another will search for a job and home to support himself and any future family that he might choose to have in the future. The last will check into a hotel and proceed to have a wonderful time seeing all the sights that Paris has to offer.

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Dad, why do people say mom is a nympho? No idea son, try asking one of your other dads.

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A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

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Why did Gina laugh? Because something was funny.

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WARNING: this is a black joke Why does everybody hate darth vader? he is all black

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FIONN'S ECONOMICS GRADE

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Lasers are red, Tasers are blue, and I will use them, to kill you!

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Three men are on a plane (note this is a low altitude plane) they're are going on they're 2nd grizzly bear hunting trip in Alaska. they crash into a mountain and all die. except the pilot. he left the wreckage and died from the freezing temperatures of an Alaskan winter.

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What do you call a black person that plays golf? Jack, his name is Jack.

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What is brown and green and goes 100 mph? A tree falling down on your house.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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