How do you get a black man out of your seat? You ask him very nicely with a great attitude.

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Who is the most vile man in Britain? Jerry Carr, the guy who works at the casino.

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What did Santa say when he fell down? Ouch

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A bison trots into a bar. The bartender says, "My pee makes bubbles in the toilet." Amazed by the urination fact, the bison explodes.

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What's the difference between a grape and a duck? They're both purple, apart from the duck.

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What does the thirsty butcher drink? Chocolate milk. Because he can.

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Whats green and miss centowski hates a gas chamber :D lets be friends

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Then I contracted bronchitis from the smoke. Unfortunately I don't not have time to visit a doctor to mend this debilitation. In fact, nobody does.

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How do you make your mom mad? Burn down the house and eat the dog.

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woman's rights

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A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

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your mother is so fat that she probably watches her calorie intake every day

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what is green and has weels? grass i was kidding about the weels.

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Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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How many dinosaurs does it take to fill a pool? I don't know and no one will know as they are extinct organisms

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.It got ran over by a bus.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because he couldn't get his dick out of the chicken

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. It was hanging on a clothes line he didn't see, the fact that he was dyslexic is irellevant.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its not for us to determine its motive, i'm sure it has its reasons

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Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

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How do you punish Hellen Keller Move the furniture around

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whats the difference between a ladybug and a jew? there is none

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Did you know that you can drink lava? You can only do it once though.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops