Why is it okay to have four cats? Because I said so.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

Why didn't the dog come to his master when it was called? It didn't have any legs.

What does a frog in a blender sound like? *WWWRRRRRRRBFFFFZZZZZCHWEEERRRRRR*

What do call a fly with no legs? Dead

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

Knock knock. Who's there? Navy Seals. *BOOM* *waiting* "Yeah, he's dead." -Navy Seals

What did Hitler say to Mussolini? I don't know. I wasn't there.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm allergic to both Now I'm dead

Why does a new mother have big jugs? Her baby died of Sudden infant death syndrome.

Paper or plastic? Yes...

Q: How do you stop a black man from drowning? A: Quit peeing in his mouth.

Why does the same anti-jokes pop up over and over again? Because people have no creativity.

What's the difference between a bench and a black guy? A bench can support a family

Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This site.

Dont listen to your heart all it dose is BEAT BEAT BEAT

How can you tell if a woman is stupid? Yell the word "STUPID'' and see if she turns around.

Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

What's big or small, can come in different colors, and would kill you if it was forced inside you? A refrigerator.

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

ROSE ARE BROWN VIOLETS ARE BROWN WHO SH*IT IN MY GARDEN!!!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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