What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? The lawyer is a human being whose profession is to give legal advice and assistance to clients and represent them in court or in other legal matters while the catfish is a freshwater or marine fish with whiskerlike barbels around the mouth, typically bottom-dwelling. -BG_Shank_A

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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Why did Dan fall of his bicycle? Because somebody threw a refrigerator at him.

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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I used to be addicted to soap, but now I'm clean. I'm still addicted to heroin, though. No chance I'm ever giving that up.

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What did Han Solo say to Chewy before they got in the Millennium Falcon? Chewy, get in the ship.

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Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

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How many Jews can fit in a Volkswagen beetle? Four, although five is possible if you are not afraid of getting a ticket.

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A blonde dies Lololol

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Why did the Black man cross the road? To get to Pop-Eye's since KFC is too expensive nowadays. HELL-YA

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A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

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What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

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What's worse than finding 7 dead babies in a bin? Finding one is missing.

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whats similar between a chicken and an alligator they both gobble except for they alligator

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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause he felt like it.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

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Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

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What do you get when you mix monster, coke, and and seltzer? Kicked out of stop and shop.

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops