What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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Do you know why one side of the V formation that geese fly in is longer than the other? Because there's more geese on that side.

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dont you hate it when your reading something and it doesnt end the way you cactus

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sorry, wrong house.

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Text this number just cuz 16305208722

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whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping cart? One holds groceries. The other molests small children.

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A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

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How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Someone said "catch" and threw a bowling ball at him.

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Why did Santa die? Because he got diabetes from so many cookies

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Bob: I have a funny knock knock joke, but you have to start it. Joe: Ok. Knock Knock. Bob: Who's there? Joe: Uhhhhhhh Bob: Exactly.

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What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

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Knock Knock. READ THE DAMN SIGN IT SAYS NO SOLICITORS!!! ... yeah.

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An Asian man walked to P.F. Changs, and asked where the bathroom is.

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'Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a pair of curtains' Doctor prescribes antipsychotics.

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I like my women like bacon. Greasy and full of wrinkels

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Q: What did Batman say when Robin was in the Batmobile? A: Robin, get out of the Batmobile.

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A black man, a small child, and a priest were all standing in line. They were all checking in the hospital after being in a 3 car pileup

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Q: whats the difference between 3 asain people 3 black people and 3 mexican prople?? A: there all different nationality

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What goes up a hill with four legs and comes down the hill with five? A creepy animal that grows legs when it goes down hills.

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What happens when you throw a blue rock into red water? It gets wet...

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what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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