"I'm terrible at writing jokes." -80% of the people on here.

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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SPILL THE BEAAAANNSSSS

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two japanese men walk into a bar. the first japanese man says “i am japanese!” the second japanese man says “i am also japanese!” the bartender then says “well, hey. i’m japanese too”. the bar was in japan.

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what happens when an Asian and a Jew get married. They have children.

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Ask me if I'm a truck! Are you a truck?! No.

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Three Jews are hiding under the floorboards. One of them makes a noise and a second Jew elbows him so he'll keep quiet. They are heard and are all caught. It's now their turn to seek because they are playing Hide n' Seek.

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a man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. The Bartender says okay, here you go.

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What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? ouch.

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Who has a higher pitched voice than the average man? A woman.

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what's mouthwatering and smells like fish? salmon

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What did the jewish man say to the Irish guy at the bar? Are you Irish?

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what do you call a black guy with a bachelor's degree? by his first name, "Carl".

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Dude, you were so drunk last night that you got in a terrible car accident, and now you are paralyzed from the waste down for life.

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How Does My cat have Sex? With Me.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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What should you do if you have a 10 inch penis? Subtly tell the world via an anti-joke

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When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? There are more birds on that side

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a man makes a bad joke

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Big feet on a man means he has, Nothing, a man's foot size has no relation to the size of his penis.

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What is worse than mistaking a bottle of blood for ketchup? Mistaking a bottle of "sticky white stuff" for milk... Moral: If you are a straight man that is... As for women meh... lie all you want ladies...

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Don't you just hate it when a sentence doesn't end the way you octopus?

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John had 50 candy bars and he ate 45 what does he have...... Diabeaties

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? I dont know lets go play on our bikes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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