- Anti Joke

What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

Why can't Michel Jackson play chess? He's dead

why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Let's go ride bikes!

A black man accidentally walks into a white man......they apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

An Iranian, a Mexican, and an American are on an airplane. The plane is too heavy to take off, so to lighten the load, each person has to throw off something their country has a lot of. The Iranian throws off a nuclear bomb. The Mexican throws off a sombrero. The American throws off an apple pie.

why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket? No. A picture of a red bucket? No. A photo nailed to a red bucket, which shows a red bucket with a very realistic painting of a red bucket on it? Yes.

There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

Why was the uneducated black guy raped? To make this joke more risky and therefore funnier.

Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

Whats blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.

What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't.

Why did the little girl fall off of the swing set? Because she didn't have any arms.

What happened to the man who grew into the couch? He was surgically removed and forced to exercise daily. He is feeling much better now.

What did the traffic light say to the car? dont look at me am changing.

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Why was the boy laughing at Sally? Because Sally was a man

A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

The cow's name was Friday, But can you guess what day it died? Monday, it had a fun weekend with its family before it was brutally slaughtered.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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