Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it looked both ways and saw no cars coming.

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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What's the difference between a lamp?

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whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

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What's a vampire's favorite dessert? Vampire's don't exist What's Helen Keller's favorite dessert? Helen Keller doesn't exist

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Why did the family sue disney? Because at a meet and greet location mickey mouse shot their youngest in the heart.

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because the light was red!

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A muslim walks out of a plane.

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what do you call a black man in the bank holding a bag of money. One wealthy man

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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A jew walked out of a bar then goes to the other bar across the street then walks out from the back door to go to another bar The Actions of this jew tells us that there are only 3 bars in the zone and one pet shop

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A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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How did the blonde trip the brunette? She stuck out her foot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops