Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... The FedEx man leaves, realizing that no one was home, and continues on with his job.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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Some people are like Slinkies: they don't work as well as they say they will and you'll get bored of them quickly.

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What did the boy with four arms get for Christmas? A Laptop. Why couldn't he use it? He had no fingers.

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why did the man shave his balls cause they were unnecessarily hairy

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What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

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Me:Oh wait, I got a joke! Friends:Oh boy, what is it? Tell us! Me:..my grandma died.. *Everyones silent* Some random guy:Oh haha, I get it! Me:Shut up, you have no friends. Some random guy: Oh........

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There is a blond and a burnette in a car. The blonde is driving. What a nice use of the carpool

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

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Knock knock Who's there? Fuk Fuk who?

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What's the difference between and orange? The horse wasn't wearing a saddle.

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Shltskc gw? G

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My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

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why did nick kiss esther because he cheated

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Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know why.

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer while the other is just a water melon.

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile Get in the batmobile

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops