One day a duck was swimming on the lake and sees an alligator. The alligator says "You will be my next victim." The duck says "Quack."

What did santa claus get the boy with cancer for christmas? Nothing. Santa is not real and thus incapable of granting christmas wishes.

why was the pineapple bullied at school? cuz it was a pineapple duhhhhhhh

Funeral... You can't spell it without FUN

Why would a dog sniff another dog's butt hole? Because that is what they do.

Want to hear a joke? ...you're straight.

Why couldn't the woman drive? She was dead.

Did you hear about the man with the bicycle? He was 2 tired.

Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

What do you call a a chinese abortion? My dinner

Why did Jerry Sandusky appeal his conviction? Because the judge wrongly considered inadmissible evidence.

'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.' That's fantastic because Peter Piper was paralyzed and the doctors said he would never be able tomove is arms or legs again, and there he is picking a peck of pickled peppers. I applaud you Peter Piper.

"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

Why did the car break down? Because breakfast was done.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was mentally retarded and didnt know any better.

How do you run faster than a cheetah? Cut off its legs.

What is black and blue, with nothing to do? The prostitute in my basement.

Why did the Mexican cross the border? He wanted to live a better life in pursuit of freedom and a better job.

What's the difference between an Asian bookkeeper and a Jewish dog? This isn't a joke, it's an assignment for school, I need to write a 3 page paper on this. Any ideas?

Look down at your keyboard. Notice that U and I are together? <3 Also notice that J and K are together too!:P

what do you get when a penguin has a heart atack pengatack

knock knock whos there **gunshot ...man that gun show next door is annoying

wormly wormly sat on the worm theworm said wormly and went to warmly

Roses are Red Violets are Blue If you think this is gonna rhyme, You're dead wrong.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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