What is orange and smells like oranges? Oranges.

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Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

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What's worse than an earthquake? Two earthquakes. What's worse than two earthquakes? Three earthquakes. What's worse than three earthquakes? The world exploding.

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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What's blue and can't read? The Pacific Ocean

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Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

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What is black white and red all over? A zebra which a lion did not finish eating.

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what do you call a black man flying an airplane a pilot, you racist

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Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the cupboard cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

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ms caissie is secretly laughing at these...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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I am green. You are blue. Jokes are infinite. This is too.

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what did the cat say to the potato? meow

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What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

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A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and gives a heavy sigh. The bartender asks, "What's wrong?" The guy says, "Nothing."

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What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

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Once there was this duck. he was the best dentist in the world...

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What did the chicken do? He crossed the road.

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Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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what happened to the fish that got washed ashore? it died due to lack of water-borne air particles.

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Your mom is so stupoid she put a piece of paper on the TV and called it paper view!

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Why is the boy lying down on the floor? The chandelier fell on him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops