Did you hear about the dyslexic insomniac that stayed awake all night wondering if there really is a dog?

Why did jack fall off a cliff? Coz the hill was on a cliff.

how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey has a very weak cerrebellum.

What did you call something that is long, hard and full of seamen? A ship.

A man walks into a bar........ gets eaten by a lion.

Q) Why are there no aspirin in the jungle? A) Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest

What size pants did the gorilla wear? An abnormaly large pair compared to the average human because their weight and width are porportionaly larger for their speices.

What's worse than having AIDS? A piano falling on your left middle finger.

What's round and bounces A basketball No!!!!!!! You dummy!!! Then what? Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

Whats worse than finding a repeated joke on anti joke? The holocaust Whats worse than finding a repeated joke on anti joke? The holocaust

What is Hellen Keller's favorite TV show? She doesn't have one - She is blind and deaf.

I had a terrible childhood. My mom abandoned me before I was born.

How do you get out of a car with only a baseball bat and a hammer? Unlock the door.

What dod the boy with no arms get or christmas? Nothing he can't open them!

Roses are red Violets are blue I am ADD Bird

I DO NOT CARE ABOUT NOVA! MY NAME IS VIKTOR REZNOV! AND I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

whats the difference between and black guy and a bench? a bench can supoort a family

Knock Knock! But nobody was home and couldn't hear it.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

Dear Six, Please stop spreading rumors about me and nine. I hear you two also do some pretty nasty things. Love, Seven.

I'm a wise old man, so I'm aloud to touch you in the bathing suit area.

Hi I'm Ben What's your name? I forgot. Hi "I forgot" what's your name? Ben

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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