A pope meets another one

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How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

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Did you hear about the man hear about the man who lost an arm and a leg in a car accident? He's alright now.

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What's funny about a small child with no arms, no legs? Nothing.. Nothing at all.

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Why did the kid lose his mom? She was shot.

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A blind man walks into a bar. Another man asks him if hes ever seen the new movie that came out. he then replies, "i heard it" then curled up into a ball and cries for several hours.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? - Probably about 5 or 6, depending on the car.

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What makes Amish bread different than regular bread? It's made by Amish people

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Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

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why was the pen mad at the pencil? it wasnt. objects don't have feelings

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Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

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Call me for a good time! 402-805-2412, I do anal!;) -Martini Wyant

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A man walks out of a bar. Gets in his car and crashes because drunk driving isn't safe.

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Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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Have you heard of the dog that sounds like Megan fox? No Oh, well ummm apperantally there's this ummm dog that sounds like Megan fox. So ummm yeah. Pretty interesting stuff

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Yep, super duper stressed, all of the time, but how did you know?

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A horse walks into a bar You have been reading so many anti jokes that you can actually anticipate the anti-joke punchline to this joke, because it is one of maybe 3 or 4.

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What did the boy with no mom get for Christmas? He was beaten by his drunken and abusive father.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? -Gave her a timeout

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs Mat

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Why is Coldplay really big in Japan? They're tall guys.

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A priest and rabbi walk into a bar. The priest leaves because they don't have wine.

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Why did the suicidal terrorist swim with fish? He heard the SEALS we coming for him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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