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why didn't bob die? because he liked his hair just the way it was.

Why did the man eat a human heart? Because he was part of a dangerous, religious cult.

How many dead babies can you fit in a child's swimming pool? 9 (Trust me, you won't be able to squeeze the tenth one in there.)

A man offered a little boy a ride home. He drove the boy home where his father preceeded to beat him senseless.

What do a fish and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

how do you kill a blonde with a pistol Put the clip in and shoot her

Why couldn't the girl eat her pizza? She had no face.

What do you say to a womam with two black eyes? Nothing, she's already been told twice.

Why was 6 afraid of 7 7 eight 9

Why did the girl go to Jupiter? To get more stupider

How did Jimmy lose seven pounds? I killed him.

I saw a TV show last night. And it was good.

roses are red , violets are blue, lick my dick , or lick my dick

What? I didn't say anything. Yes you did.

Have you heard about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problems out with a pencil... It was a #2 pencil

A lion, a tiger, and a bear walk down the side of the road. This is what I observed last week in a suburb of Columbus, Ohio.

What is the difference between a pig and a crow? One is a animal that Is butchered to be eaten as a wonderful meat product. And the other is a pretentious asshole bird that no one likes.

Why was the blonde sad? Her phone was broken due to an NNEMP.

A fat man walks into McDonald's and was then seen leaving 8 hours later as he finished his shift.

A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane where having a bet on who could swim the furthest without getting wet on their hair. The Swede could have done better... The Dane did surprisingly well. The Norwegian, being bald, was disqualified. Moral: I still have some hair left!

An Irishman and his sheep are locked in a barn together for 3 days. On the 3rd day his wife finally notices that he is gone, and comes looking in the barn for her husband. She liberates him, cooks him dinner, and they both laugh at the bestiality that occurred in the barn. 3 days is indeed a long time for anyone to endure.

A man walks into a bar and sees another man crying at the other end he asked what's wrong the man replies well its a long story I have time replyed the other man ok well me and my wife are always arguing. So I divided to go to the library after hours of reading I see a book about history and as im reading it its time to go home and when I was going to check it out I forgot my library card I get home and me and my wife make up and have a baby thats not bad at all said the other man yea you've never lost ur library card

How the hell do you know? What are you Nero? You are completely right! I was going to say I got no blue tie, but then I forgot you often call ribbons for ties... How? Should I be scared? I am not, no wonder you never felt human... I am shocked, I cant think straight I am confused and... Sorry Nero, Goodnight, if nothing else, you are no demon, but rather an angel, sweet dreams love. The solvemedia says the bible, this is freaky, my mind is numb.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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