What did the black man buy at the fruit shop? Some bananas.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's green and invisible? This cabbage in my hand.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

So, a Bobcat walks into a bar. A few moments later, the bar was empty, save a bobcat and two critically wounded men.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A tall German man and a short Ukrainian woman walk into a pub and sit down for a drink. The German, not wanting to seem rude, asks the Ukrainian how her day has been. The Ukrainian smiles confusedly as she doesn't understand German.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dead one.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What are the biggest ants in the world? Ants under a magnifying glass.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Your mom is so fat that her doctor told her to go on a diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

yo mommas so poor she doesn't live in a house

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Jehovas Witnesses: Summer vacation edition reality show: BItch: Do you know Jesus? Guy: Goddammit you A*Beep*SSHOLES again! I keep telling you all this is m0thertrucking Spain, I know like 500 Jesus`s living in this town alone! *slams door* Moral: Everybody knows at least something about the goddamn Jesus! Ill try asking "Is he the guy that lives downstairs?" Next time and see what happens.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the doctor say to the obese person? You have diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was Sally in a wheelchair? Her abusive father beat her repeatedly with a rake.. Then as she crawled out the door to try and get help, the abusive father took his Dodge Ram and ran over her legs reapeatedly. Then began to slap her. Luckily, a vigilante saw the whole thing and slaughtered the father with an axe and carefully escorted Sally to the hospital. After a couple of weeks of beautiful and extraordinary care, Sally made a full recovery and was able to leave.. and all patients have to leave in a wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats worse than the Holacaust? Stepping on damn Lego's. MrBounty44

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a black man with a guitar? His name

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Impossible, non-living organisms are incapable of moving and babies lack the brain capacity to understand how to screw in a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock Who's there? Me ill kill u,

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What did Batman say when Robin was in the Batmobile? A: Robin, get out of the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: How many Jews can u fit in a bathtub? A: Well it depends if you use their ashes.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats worse than getting a splinter? Taking a shower at penn state

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops