What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck!

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Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one year old. What's the point? The other day, she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow. And the cow says...."Elmoooo!" Joey: *starts to laugh* Yeah...that's a funny cup.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, because they have turned to alcoholism because there is no God. GO COMMUNISM, BOO AMERICA.

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Q: What's the difference between Catholism and Judiasm? A: There are many substantial and vital distinctions between Judaism and Christianity. Of course, there are many similarities as well, primarily because Christianity emerged from Judaism. However, the emergence was not a direct line. Christianity broke from Judaism, forming a new religion, so it is misleading, however comfortable the thought might be, to believe that the two religions are essentially the same, or to see Christianity as the natural continuation of Judaism.

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Yo momma so stupid she threw a rock at the ground And missed.

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whats the difference between a frog and a toad ones a frog

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Why is it OK to make fun of a deaf person? Because they can't hear.

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A blonde is rowing a boat in a cornfield. While driving by, another blonde notices and pulls over and steps out of her car. She looks out and yells "You know, it's blondes like you that are giving us a bad name. If you weren't so far out, I would swim out there and beat the shit outta you!"

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Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A: This question has many different possible answers due to the range of sizes and shapes of bath tubs available on the market, and also depending on the size of the baby in question. It is therefore only possible to give a specific example.

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Your adopted.....

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Q: What do is it called when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? A: Why give it a name when it is never goin to happen!

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What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? ...Because he was buried in a churchyard.

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Wow, fuzzy feelings, you just made my top 10.000 friends list. Jk, you my favorite girl right now, I mean my wife is always my favorite, but the kind of love I feel for you, is a completely different kind of love, I consider it the sum of who you are, and I cant say I love you the same, because it is a completely different feeling. Wow, I cant believe I am typing this on horsehead network, by the way Red, you better get out of here, or I am going to have to shut your operations down, sorry for getting serious in the middle of this, but we can meet and be friends, if you promise to take good care of my new friend (you), but getting out of this site, you and your crew. So, sex whenver you feel like and friends for life? How does that sound? I prefer long term agreements.

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Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

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An Irishman and an Englishman are having a heated conversation about Rugby in a pub. Another Irish comes to the pub.. He is promptly given a bar stool and menu so that he can order.

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Why did the butcher have blood on his hands? He murdered his daughter.

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Why did little Sally fall off the swing? Because Sally has no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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what did the kid with no hair get for christmas? cancer.

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone...

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Why did the black guy lose the race? He toke an arrow to the knee

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So I'm blowing this guy and he starts rubbing his finger through my hair... So I started thinking, what a fag.

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What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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