Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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Why did the clown's ballon animal pop? He was a victim in a drive by shooting.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra drinks a bear and leafs .....

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Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

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How do you tell the difference between Lila and derrek ashmore? Oh wait they both have vaginas

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Justin Beiber is a good singer

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what happened when steven hawking's date stood him up? he feel down

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Based on every event that ever happened on Earth, where is a terrorist most likely to plant a bomb? Site B. Many more people play CS:GO than attempt to bomb any real-world location. Site A is a close second.

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Why couldn't Billy eat his dinner? Because a black man amputated his hands.

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What did the dinosaur say to the centipede? Its funny cause the dinosaur is big and the centipede is small. Also dinosaurs can't even talk!

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A vulture gets on a transatlantic flight with a dead animal in each claw. The flight attendant stops him, and says "I'm sorry, sir, only one piece of carrion per passenger allowed"

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A duck walks into a bar- nope, just chuck testa...

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Why was the girl unhappy with her male teacher? Because he gave her a bad grade...and raped her the night before.

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What do you call a black man driving a expensive sports car? A respectable member of society

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What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

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Knock knock. Who's there? To To Who? To Whom.

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"Hey have you seen Stevie wonders car. Neither has he.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker Face

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Hey ask me if i'm a train? Are you a train? No...

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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What did the man with no head get for Christmas? Nothing he was dead

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops